I'm Really a Superstar

The audience was spoiled by the humor!

The crosstalk actors, who were standing with Tang Dazhang, were getting angrier and angrier. The guy surnamed Zhang truly lacked eight generations of virtue! The person who had tried to leave was not only a crosstalk actor, he was also an administrator in the Folk Art Association. He even dared to criticize a teacher like that? He must really be mad! Actually, they wanted to follow him when he had left, as they did not want to listen to anymore of this, but because of Zhang Ye's "I wish you success", a few of those crosstalk actors and members of the Folk Arts Association, who was about to stand up and leave, sat back down almost immediately!

Why?

They were afraid that Zhang Ye would put his focus onto them!

They looked at each other and could see the hostility in each other's eyes!

But Zhang Ye's crosstalk performance was still not done. He stood on stage without any pressure since what he talked about was still within the limits of an online broadcast. He did not seem to care. Even if it did cross the line, he was not bothered by it. Zhang Ye was not the type to hold back due to considerations. He was the sort who lived for the moment!

He said to Old Yao, "If you don't reject the Three Vulgarities and join our team, then you are definitely not a good actor. And so, we will not acknowledge that you can do crosstalk!"

"Wu!"

"Yi!"

The audience understood the meaning of what was being said!

Yao Jiancai laughed, "Oh, really?"

Zhang Ye looked at him with the intention to teach and guide him, "In the dead of the night, you have a cigarette in your left hand, a bottle of beer in your right hand, and a piece of chicken hanging from your mouth. After taking two puffs from the cigarette, gulping down a mouthful of beer, and ravishly eating some food, ask yourself if you have rejected the Three Vulgarities!"

The audience was stunned and then broke out in laughter!

Yao Jiancai made a couple of gestures with his hands and said, "Heh! I don't know about rejecting the Three Vulgarities, but those three activities are enough to keep me busy! Look at me smoking while I enjoy my food!"

The audience roared with laughter once again!

Zhang Ye sighed and said, "Sometimes, while walking on the streets, I often think. Why do the people of this world refuse to realize the errors of their ways? Why do they not understand? Why can’t all of them be teachers or educators…" Reaching his hand out, he grabbed a white cloth on the stage and blew his nose and threw the cloth on the ground and exhaled before sighing, "Only then would the world be so perfect!"

Yao Jiancai rolled his eyes, "Is that how an educator behaves?!"

"Haha!"

"Hur hur hur hur!"

Zhang Ye said, "Teacher Yao, I do not understand why there is a higher grade, even though all of us are just crosstalk performers?"

Yao Jiancai said, "That's because the others say it better."

Zhang Ye said, "Look at those 'mainstream' crosstalk actors, look at how well their crosstalks are!" He lay emphasis on the word 'mainstream'.

The expressions of the crosstalk actors offstage changed!

Yao Jiancai asked, "Which one?"

Zhang Ye said, "There's an outstanding crosstalk actor, I wonder if you know him?"

Yao Jiancai asked curiously, "Who is it? Give us his name."

The audience blinked in anticipation.

Zhang Ye said, "Tang Dade, do you all know him?"

Yao Jiancai looked stunned, "Tang Dade?"

Zhang Ye said, "Yes, that one who does crosstalks really well."

Yao Jiancai touched his nose, "......that name sounds really familiar to me somehow..."

At this moment, many of the audience reacted, first with a stunned expression, followed by laughing and clapping!

Pfft!

Tang Dade?

Tang Dazhang?

Tang Dazhang's expression sunk!

The expressions of the crosstalk actors around him also had a drastic change!

Zhang Ye said, "You don't know him? He's the one who is always wearing those long robes, with his hair combed back, big eyes, and large stature? Around 1.8 meters tall. That one!"

Yao Jiancai said, "He's that tall?"

Zhang Ye said, "Yea, after cremation, he'd fill up at least a box and a half!"

Cremation? I'll cremate your sister! Tang Dazhang nearly vomited blood when he heard that!

The audience members were all clapping in joy and laughing themselves into stitches. That mouth of Teacher Zhang was really so sarcastic all the way to your grandmother's house!

Yao Jiancai said, "Hai, who even asked about the cremated remains!"

Zhang Ye held out his hand with his thumb up, saying, "That guy's crosstalk prowess is really the best out there!"

Yao Jiancai asked, "Really?"

Zhang Ye said, "Did you hear about his new crosstalk performance yet? The crosstalk's title is called 'A New Countryside'."

Yao Jiancai asked puzzledly, "Was there such a crosstalk?"

Zhang Ye said, "It was good, it was really good. It was really passionate, fervent, and a pee-jerker!"

A woman, who had just taken a sip of water was not prepared for this and spat out the water all over the floor!

Yao Jiancai nearly fainted, "Pee? How did you even end up talking about peeing?"

Zhang Ye said, "Do you know how many people were cured of their prostate problems when they heard that crosstalk?!"

A few male audiences were pounding their thighs as they laughed extremely hard at this!

Then, Yao Jiancai said, "Heh, it was so miraculous? What did that work talk about?"

Zhang Ye said, "I especially liked 'A New Countryside' since it was so good. If it were up for auction, I guess it would go for around a few hundred thousand."

Yao Jiancai looked even more curious, "Yo, is it really that good, then you should tell us more about it?"

Zhang Ye looked at everyone and said, "The great crosstalk work, 'A New Countryside' says: Good day to all comrades and good day to our friends from all the different jobs and industries. Please support our 'A New Countryside'. We need to follow the words of our leaders, to sleep early and wake early, to not spit on the ground, so that we may build our countryside well." With that, Zhang Ye looked intoxicated and full of admiration.

But Yao Jiancai was confused, "Is that it?"

Then, he saw Zhang Ye smacking his thigh as he squatted down and said with his tone changed, "It's really too good! I'm laughing so much I can't control myself anymore!"

The audience was also laughing out loud!

Yao Jiancai said, "What about it makes you laugh uncontrollably?"

Zhang Ye was still squatting down and smacking his thigh!

"Hey, hey!" Yao Jiancai went to pull him up, "Get up, get up, what the heck is going on? Have you ever heard of such serious crosstalk? Why about it has made you laugh so uncontrollably?"

Seeing the state that Zhang Ye was in, the audience's laughter did not stop either!

Tang Dazhang rage was rising in his eyes and he turned to leave as well!

When the audience saw that another person had been chased away by the scolding, they laughed even harder!

Zhang Ye finally stood up after a long time, "What a great crosstalk."

Yao Jiancai rolled his eyes, "How is that even crosstalk?"

Zhang Ye gave a thumbs up, "A truly good crosstalk would move one deeply! This is what you must learn from. You need to learn from him and change your attitude. Don't be like some crosstalker who does not love himself on or off stage and finally even (Diào'er Láng Dāng Rù Yù) half-heartedly went into prison!"

"Ah?" Yao Jiancai quickly corrected him, "That's called (Láng Dāng Rù Yù) chained up and put into prison."

Zhang'er said, "That crosstalk actor's stage name is called Diao'er."

Only then did Yao Jiancai made a chuckle and said, "What sort of name is that! How can he be named as such?"

Zhang Ye said, "People like us who reject the Three Vulgarities all have stage names like these."

Yao Jiancai asked, "Why? Why don't they use their real names instead?"

Zhang Ye glanced at him, "Nonsense, if you use your real names, you might get beaten up!"

The audience cramped up with laughter again!

Yao Jiancai said, "So, people like you are afraid of being beaten up?"

Zhang Ye said, "I'm not afraid, but those of us who have been studying methods to reject the Three Vulgarities are!"

"Yo, you even have a team?" Yao Jiancai asked.

Zhang Ye said, "Yea, I do. Our team is full of talents who are either crosstalk actors, folk arts world actors, reviewers or critics."

Reviewers? Critics? The audience's first thought was on Alexander and the few others who were denouncing Zhang Ye online last night! Their attention was jolted and they listened carefully!

Yao Jiancai blinked and said, "Can you introduce to us then? What their stage names are?"

Zhang Ye unreservedly said, "For example, one of our famous cultural reviewers is called 'Who's the dumbest'."

Yao Jiancai chuckled, "That person is so modest."

the Zhang Ye continued introducing the others, "And then there's our famous critic called.... 'I'm the dumbest'."

Yao Jiancai said again, "That one is even more modest!"

Zhang Ye said, "Then there's one of our Folk Arts expert."

"What's he called?" Yao Jiancai asked curiously.

Zhang Ye said, "He's called 'Dont'."

The audience and the judges did not understand what he meant.

Dont?

What's the punchline here?

Yao Jiancai also asked, "What kind of name is that? Is he a foreigner?"

Zhang Ye waved his hands in denial, "No, he's Chinese, a minority ethnicity. That is his name, but his surname is 'Buttin'."

Yao Jiancai asked suspiciously, "Buttin?"

Zhang Ye affirmatively nodded, "Dont Buttin."

When this joke was revealed, everyone erupted into laughter!

"Aiyo!"

"Hahahahaha!"

"Don't butt in?"

"This is really scolding! It's so good!"

"Haha, I can't take this anymore!"

"Those people were butting in for no reason!"

Zhang Ye cracked his fingers and said, "Just the few of us, Who's the dumbest, I'm the dumbest and Dont Buttin were discussing everyday about their research on how to reject the Three Vulgarities. Our goal is to make it so that when we look back at earth from the moon, we wouldn't even be able to spot the Great Wall. The first thing that must be seen is us, this bunch of rejectors of the Three Vulgarities!"

Yao Jiancai raised his head and chuckled again, "Do you all think that there's already a lack of commotion?"

The few technical staff members who had been holding back their laughter all this time could no longer hold back. The camera assistant and producers were all laughing out straight into their hands that they used to cover their faces with!

Then, a few more folk arts world members, including those crosstalk actors all stood up and walked out of the studio in rage. There were more than a dozen of them streaming out of the studio!

What was even more shocking was that among the three crosstalk competition judges, two of them had also left in anger. They did not want to see this anymore, so they left the last judge there speechless at the performance.

"What?"

"Even the judges got chased away?"

"Pfft! Why did the judges leave! This has never happened before in the history of the crosstalk competition! Aiyo, this is turning out to be such a joke! Teacher Zhang is such a wonder! He can even chase the judges away with his scolding!"

"Hahahaha!"

"Can he not be that funny!"

Before this, the folk arts world members had depended on their statuses and majority in numbers to continuously lash out at Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai. They made use of the masses' voice to apply pressure on them. But now, at this moment, Zhang Ye had given them a taste of their own medicine. He had used the same tactic back on them! Including those online denouncers which included celebrities, critics and reviewers, Zhang Ye had carpet-scolded them all in this crosstalk! He had scolded with a penetrating coldness!

They were an army with a few hundred to a few thousand mouths!

But Zhang Ye only had one mouth, yet he was able to hit and push them back!

The masses' voice had now become a singular voice. When Zhang Ye opened his mouth, he could push back their thousands of mouths, he could even melt gold with just his mouth alone!

Just what sort of power was this!

What sort of savageness was this!!

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