I'm Really a Superstar

The mood of the audience in the studio was hitting a fever pitch!

On the internet, the viewers were also getting excited!

The audience were liking what they saw and couldn't help but applaud. They felt that Zhang Ye was really spot on with his scolding. Those who knew Zhang Ye well knew that his path to where he was now hadn't been easy. He had been detained in a police station before and had also been banned by the Beijing Television Station, in Shanghai, and by the SARFT. Up till here, Zhang Ye was left with no choice but to partake in the crosstalk competition. He did not even offend anyone, yet a bunch of crosstalk actors were calling for his boycott and to get him banned. Were they not forcing him into a corner? If this happened to anyone other than him, they would probably not stand for it too, so of course he had to scold them back. He needed to turn everything upside down like a caught fish would attempt to break the net it was caught in!

Zhang Ye threw up his hands in resignation and said, "And so, whenever I see anyone scolding me or some expert trying to educate me, I will basically just ignore them. With all of this said, I have gained such penetrating insight that I can even use it to see past the mosaics in a censored, R-rated video!"

The audience roared together, "Yi!”

Yao Jiancai said, "Wow, so you've watched a lot of those videos?"

Zhang Ye nodded and looked at him, "I will return them to you soon."

"Ah?" Yao Jiancai stared at him and said, "I lent them to you?"

The audience laughed, "Hahahahaha!"

Below the stage, Tian Bin was also thoroughly enjoying himself and laughing till he cramped up!

Only a few male and female youths, whose hair were dyed with bright colors, did not laugh. They were trying to create trouble from where they were seated, not far from the stage.

A red-haired youth shouted, "Get down from the stage!"

Another youth with green hair shouted, "What the heck are you saying!"

"What kind of lousy crosstalk is this!" said the group of 6-7 people. They were all shouting and there was even someone who was clearly a Chinese citizen yelling something in Korean. He even put on a smug look after doing so as he knew only that group could understand while everyone else did not get it. He seemed to feel a sense of superiority in doing so.

The noise kept coming from the group of people and it was very high pitched and disturbing to the others. Many of the audience members looked at them unhappily, thinking who the heck they were and who invited them? Looking at their dressing, it definitely had to be Lee Anson or some Korean celebrity's fans. The audience knew that not only the crosstalk world's members were scolding Zhang Ye on the internet. The ones who were the most aggressive in scolding were the Koreans and their fans. All of these people hated Zhang Ye to the bone.

In front, Tang Dazhang, Xu Wenxiang, and some other crosstalk actors all turned around to check out who those people were. If they tried this during another group's crosstalk performance, they would definitely be unhappy. After all, someone was performing, the least you could do is give some respect, but as the current performer was Zhang Ye, these crosstalk actors felt rather good when they saw that some people were making trouble for him. It did not feel like they were being disrespectful at all.

On the stage.

Yao Jiancai heard the commotion and his eyebrows twitched.

Everyone became quiet for a moment as the atmosphere in the studio changed.

Zhang Ye looked at those people below the stage and smiled at them. He did not seem like he was affected at all and even spontaneously added a joke, "We will still need to get back to the topic on elegance versus vulgarity."

Yao Jiancai said, "Yes."

Zhang Ye smiled and said, "What do some people think being elegant is about?"

Yao Jiancai was a little stumped, thinking why he did not follow the script? Still, he reacted very quickly and asked, "What is it about?"

Zhang Ye answered, "Being crazy about foreign things and obsequious to the foreigners!"

"Huh?" said Yao Jiancai.

Zhang Ye said sarcastically, "To act like foreigners, saying that foreign products are all good and elegant, there are those who adore the Koreans or Japanese, hur hur. To be honest, in the past those countries were all tribute nations to our country. Year after year, they would send tributes and pay homage to us. When their royal families had a child, they would send them here to be political hostages, but now, our people are putting them on a pedestal and worshiping their people?"

Tian Bin was clapping hard from where he was seated!

Yao Jiancai bitterly smiled, "There's a rise in such behavior, yes."

Zhang Ye said, "Sometimes, I can't stand to see such behavior. Those children are all learning from these people and styling their hair in such atrocious ways. Like puffy updo’s, pixie cuts, or bob cuts. Then they dye streaks of red and white and red and white, making it look like kimchi!"

Yao Jiancai laughed and said, "Hai, they do that so that they can show that they're true Hallyu fans."

Many of the members of the audience were laughing hard at this!

Those Hallyu youths all stared up on stage. He was precisely describing the look of their hairstyles! After Zhang Ye was done scolding the crosstalk world, he came to scold them!

Zhang Ye kept on looking at them, "Their pants have leg openings bigger than the waist opening. They wear size 41 shoes even though their feet are only size 36. When they blink with those extended lashes, pa, even their hats would fall off!"

Yao Jiancai said, "Heh, the hat is too light."

The audience was enjoying it too much. They looked over to those Hallyu fans who were trying to make trouble, wondering if they still dared to mess with Zhang Ye. Don't you know that fella is the leader amongst Professional Korean Insulters!? Trying to provoke him? Aren't you guys asking for it! However, many of the audience members and viewers were very interested in seeing how Zhang Ye would continue from there. Because in his "Zhang Ye's Talk Show", a lot of them had already seen how Zhang Ye scolded Korea in a talk show format, but since crosstalk and talk shows were different forms of art, the way of scolding would surely be different. Since they've never heard it before, they became really curious!

Indeed, Zhang Ye fulfilled everyone's wishes as he said, "I heard that there are many talented people in Korea."

Yao Jiancai said, "There are definitely quite a few."

Zhang Ye eyes brightened as he said, "I heard that all of the world's talented people are Koreans. People like Buddha and Confucius are their people. I even heard that Teacher Yao belongs to their country."

Yao Jiancai quickly gave a wave of his hand, "I'm definitely not."

Zhang Ye glanced at him, "It would be good if you were. Since they do not know how good we are, if we were to send a few of our crosstalkers over to them, they would certainly cause the country to perish!"

Yao Jiancai said, "Oh boy, can a crosstalker really cause that much damage?"

When this joke came out, the audience immediately went into a crazed laughter. This was so good! This was too damn f**king interesting! It seemed like Zhang Ye did not need to use a talk show style of scolding to insult the Koreans. He could do it in a crosstalk style as well! Not only that, he even managed to scold the crosstalk world together at the same time!

A few crosstalk actors hit their seat arms in anger!

Those Hallyu fans' faces also turned red in anger!

Zhang Ye was not done speaking, "I heard that Korea recently created a rocket which would carry some scientists and bring them all the way to the Sun."

Yao Jiancai stopped him, "Eh, wait a moment. To the Sun?"

Zhang Ye said, "Yes."

Yao Jiancai said nervously, "But the Sun is so hot! It’s a ball of flames!"

Zhang Ye blinked and said, "The Koreans said that they would go at night."

All of the audience laughed loudly!

Yao Jiancai said speechlessly, "I've never heard of such careless people. Does it seem right that they should go there at night?"

Zhang Ye continued to say, "Whatever. We'd never understand the people from that place anyway, so let's just agree on the fact that they're just a small nation."

Yao Jiancai nodded, "Yea, they're not big."

Zhang Ye said, "They can't compare to us. Just look at our weather reports, those take 15 minutes just to finish reporting."

Yao Jiancai nodded, "That's because we have a lot of different areas to report on."

Zhang Ye said, "The Korean weather report only consists of one sentence."

Yao Jiancai did not seem to understand, so he asked, "What do you mean?"

Zhang Ye pointed to the sky and said, ".....The whole country will experience rainfall!"

Yao Jiancai exclaimed, "Just a single rain cloud can cover the entire country? That's really too small!"

"Hahahaha!"

"Whole country will experience rainfall? Pu!"

"Aiyo, I can't take this anymore!"

"Hahaha! Teacher Zhang Ye still has it in him! His combat power against the Koreans is rocketing off the charts! Look at Teacher Zhang Ye's eyes. Whenever he speaks about this, his eyes are always gleaming! He's really making me laugh too hard!"

"Godly! He's divine! A god of scolding!"

"Tell me, how did Teacher Zhang Ye's brain develop in such a freaking way!"

"Is that a spontaneous act? I'm sure the script didn't have that. Didn't you see Yao Jiancai hesitate for a moment and nearly couldn't connect? This was a special joke segment meant for those Hallyu fans, a spontaneous joke segment? How awesome! Zhang Ye is truly Zhang Ye! He can do everything so effortlessly!"

"Look at those Hallyu fans! Their faces have all turned green from the scolding!"

Wave after wave!

The scoldings came at them wave after wave!

He killed them over and over again!

It was as though this question was posed to everyone: Who still wants a piece of Zhang Ye??

Those Hallyu fans could only stare in anger at Zhang Ye on the stage, but they could not muster up another word. They stopped their trouble making as they knew that even if all of them combined their scolding prowesses, they would still be outmatched by that single person on stage!

After the laughter died down, the audience became quiet.

Zhang Ye blinked and said, "I think we deviated a little. So right, where were we?"

Yao Jiancai said in frustration, "I don't know either. You totally went off script!"

The audience laughed again. Sure enough, as they had thought, this had been a spontaneous joke segment that was added in. Zhang Ye had confused even himself with it and couldn't get back on point!

Tang Dazhang and the other crosstalk world members were all waiting for him to fumble, but just one sentence from Zhang Ye was enough to disappoint them!

Zhang Ye retraced his words and muttered, "Whole country experience rainfall...experience rainfall....so! So, what really is elegance?"

Yao Jiancai acted as though he was about to fall backward, "Heh, is that how you retrace your words!"

Zhang Ye smiled and said, "I had to go back to topic somehow."

"That is too great a transition." Yao Jiancai slapped his forehead!

"Hahahaha!"

"Ahahahaha!"

As there was an incident of several Hallyu fans trying to create trouble, Zhang Ye had gone off tangent and inserted a joke segment to deal with them. Naturally, that caused the topic to go farther and farther away and should amount to a flaw in the crosstalk, but with Zhang Ye's wit, he had turned this flaw and mistake into another joke segment. This caused the audience to laugh out loud at their words. To Zhang Ye, it seemed as though crosstalk was as simple as a normal conversation. This was the first time the audience had heard crosstalk presented in such a manner!

Yao Jiancai was also very impressed. To partner with Zhang Ye in crosstalking, he felt very at ease, like a fish in water. He was relaxed and only needed to support him with very little effort. All he needed to do was follow and the rest would be handled by Zhang Ye. Like the incident that had just happened, Yao Jiancai knew that if it were his old crosstalk partner, they would definitely have been blindsided. The audience would surely spot the mistakes. Rather than mentioning about inserting a new joke segment, he was pretty sure they wouldn't even be able to follow through with the original script, but when all of these problems were handled by Zhang Ye, they did not even seem like problems at all! With a little bit of wrangling and chatting, any flaw could transform into a joke segment. It made the incident look like it was preplanned to tickle the audience! Zhang Ye's basics in crosstalk had even embarrassed a professional crosstalk actor like Yao Jiancai.

A question also arose in the back of the audience's minds!

Zhang Ye was an amateur?

This was Zhang Ye's first time taking part in crosstalk? He had never learned this before?

Translator Notes: Thank you for your support so far! Please continue to support IRAS by submitting a vote at Gravity Tales Vote Page. The top 3 novels at the end of the month will get a free sponsored chapter!