A Gift from the Goddess

Book Two - Ch.# 15 “_Raven.” Through the darkness | heard a voice, piercing through the haze.

It sounded urgent. Someone calling out to me. ” — Raven, shift back.” Every now and then | would see snippets. Just stilled images flashing before me, showing pictures of a living room. Of a broken table. Of a boy.

It felt somewhat familiar but | couldnt place it.

“Raven! - Ah, fuck.” ...And pain. So much pain.

The voice continued to call out to me, pleading withto do something... but | wasn’t ready.

No, instead, | rescinded into my mind further to escape.

To try and forget what was happening. ...To pretend everything was okay. And so, | hid from it all, blocking out the images and voices. Waiting until, finally, things didn’t hurt so badly.

...until | was sure the pain had stopped.

“...Raven, “cthe voice again.

Only, this time, recognition finally kicked in.

Kieran.

It was Kieran’s voice and... and Id shifted. Changing into the wolf and...-.

Oh... no, no....

Instantly, my eyes flew open... and | found myself contained within his arms, wrapped up in a blanket.

He looked down atwith a face showing signs of exhaustion, his breathing heavy. And | immediately knew something was wrong.

| wasn't sure how long had passed but | was back to my normal self, implying it had been at least a few minutes.

But... there was something else too. Something I'd cto expect from these lapses.

...I could smell the sickly scent of blood.

Blood flowing from it. Increasingly becoming worse pooling, on the ground around us, And, suddenly, it was as if the whole world obted, Everywhere | looked there was blood Red painted on every surime, on every piece of furniture, on every wall, cur tain and lamp, And as i frantically looked around, | felt my breathing quicken, my heart starting to race, ---Just what had | done! This was extly what | had been afraid of and yet I'd let it happen, | turned back to Kieran, finding his face now so pale, and I quickly moved my hands to his chest to help stop the bleeding, Hands that were soaked even up alon g, my forearms already “I'm so sorry.” | whispered, “I | didn‘t mean to do this.” I'd told him that this was dangero us and a bad idea. Why hadn‘t he listened to me! “Raven, it's okay,” he replied, I looked at himn incredulously, as if he were insane for not seeing the amount of blood he had lost.

It was a miracle he was even still able to talk “N no, no it's not okay,” | stammered, “Nothing about this is okay.. You're going to die because of me.” | could feel my entire body shaking, feel the tears beginning to form in my eyes. Kieran had said he knew what h e was doing, that everything would be fine, and yet everything had still yone wrong, Was it because | was incapa ble of being helped? Was | actually a monster? “Raven, what are you talking about? I'm fine” "” Pine’? ‘Pins‘!!” | repeated, my voice becoming shrill, “You're bleeding out! 1 | don’t even have tto call an a mbulance Goddammit, Kieran! Why didn‘t you listen to me!! | kept trying to stop the bleeding but he then grabbed my hands and held them away from him.

“What are you doing?!” | screarned, “Stop,” he ordered, “It's barely even a scratch.” “N no, no, no it's not. How can you say that? You're,” “Raven, calm down and look,” he said, cuttingofl. “B bu t I've killed you...1 | didn‘t mean tou ,” “Raven!” he yelled this time, forcingto meet his eyes. ” | said I'm fine” And as | slowly looked back down at his chest, | found that the wound was barely more than a surface level injury , something that had already stopped bleeding a while ago.

“w what I don’t understand...” Carefully, | then spun my head around to look at the room... and found it completely normal Apart from a few broken pieces of furniture, the place seemned utterly the sNo blood in sight But | had seen it so clearly, smelt the strong copper smell. There was no mistaking it.

How could that all be in my head? “Chere,” Kieran said, and proceeded to liftonto his lap with ease. | wa s reluctant at first, still confused by what was happening, but it didn’t take long forto realise what this meant . I threw my arms around him in relief, no longer caring if my sudden attachment to him was weird. All that mattered was that he w as alive. That he was safe.

ap I'm sorry,” | cried. “I'm so sorry. | fucked up.” His hand cup and gently stroked my hair, indulging my abrupt need for comfort. Along with the blanket, his warmth was helping to calm me. “You're fine,” he said. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” “But | did,” I argued. “I failed. I-1 wasn't strong enough. Regardless of whether it was minor, you still got hurt.” Even after Kieran tried to help me, it was clear that | was still a failure. It didn‘t matter if | was human or a wolf.

There were sthings that I'd never overcome.

Somehow, it felt like | would forever be a disappointment that this was my life now; useless to my father, and useless at things that should have been natural forto do.

Just another screw-up to add to the list.

...But Kieran didn’t seem to like that answer.

Immediately, he pulledaway and held my face so | was forced to look at him.

“Hey. Nothing you did was your fault,” he said adamantly. “I mean it.” “But 1-.” “No,” he instantly cut off. “Take a breath and repeat after me: “this was not my fault.” | opened my mouth to protest but he gavea look that madestop. As if tellingthis exercise wasn't negotiable.

“...This... was not my fault,” | finally said in defeat. I'd mumbled the words quietly but he still seemed satisfied by my reply nevertheless. With a small nod in approval, he let go of me.

“Whatever that was... I've never seen anything like it,” he said. “By far the slowest, most painful changes I've ever witnessed. But... | don‘t know. It's givinga weird feeling. Almost as if there's more to it.” What do you mean? Are you saying there is actually something wrong with me?” “No... not wrong with you. But maybe more... something external affecting you,” he said, his brow furrowing. “Are you wearing any jewellery? or have anything metallic touching you like a piercing? I'd look something like silver.” | thought about it for a moment before shaking my head. Accessories weren‘t a good idea forgiven my day job. “No.” “Okay... then how about diet. Do you drink any teas? Or regularly deal with any herbs?” “No...,” | replied again, becoming increasingly more confused by the strange questions. Kieran then stopped for a moment in thought, visibly trying hard to cup with something else before, finally, he asked one more question. Only this time, | could tell he was reluctant to a sk.

“...What about medications?” And my body immediately stilled. Yes... | had medications.

| had regular medicine | took for anxiety and post-shifting side effects; mostly the pain and nausea. But... that was something | had been prescribed for years. By a doctor. A professional.

Or, at least, they were a professional... employed by my father. Surely, he wouldnt have though, right? Because that would mean.... “Rav en?” Kieran prompted when | still hadn‘t spoken. ) | swallowed back the bile in my throat, hoping Kieran was wrong about this. “...Yes,” | answered, “Yes. | have medication.” “Can you show it to me?” Almost robotically, | stood up and walked to where I'd left my bag, finding it on the counter. It took a bit of shuffli ng before I eventually could locate it. With everything happening so quickly, my fingers were trembling uncontrol lably. “Here,” | finally said, presenting it to Kieran. He'd followed behind and swiftly took it from me, starting to in spect the contents immediately The whole time, | silently watched as he worked, subconsciously pulling the blan ket aroundmore for comfort. Wishing more than anything that this really would be ordinary medication.

Though it was rarely ever that simple. “These... these are suppressors,” Kieran said in shock, slowly looking up a t me. “They were designed and used in chemical warfare. Illegal now, of course.” “...I don’t understand how....” “Raven,” he continued, voice completely serious.”... How long have you been taking these?” “Since my eighteenth. Maybe just before... | can't remember exactly.” “Years?! You've been taking these for years?” Thnched at the outburst, taken by surprise, “Sorry. I'm just... astounded you even have these,” he said. “Suppressors were created for a specific war. A way t | mean town’... we were unfortunately the ones who originally designed them.” “. They cfrom you?” | asked, struggling to take in all the new information, “They shouldn‘t be,” he said. “They stopped production after the war ended and it was agreed to never use them again. But... | don't know. Truthfully, | haven a kid, but these... these look a bit odd. Their shape isn’t quite what | remember....” And then to my utter disbelief, | watched as he picked one up... and bit into it. “What are you doing?!” | exclaimet before | could take a step to stop him, he instantly spat it back out, staring at it intently. “It feels weird,” he said quietly. “As if there is the tiniest bit of sensation on my palm. Barely noticeable. Almost like...,” And he went quiet for another few seconds. “Like what?” The pauses and silences were drivinginsane. | just wanted to know already. “I don‘t know where you got these or who made them...,” he said darkly, “but whoever is administering them to you knows exactly what theyre doing.” It was the words I'd feared hearing and yet he was confirming it to be true. The worst case | hadn’t wanted to believe.

“...Are you sure?” | asked, though I knew it was redundant to still hope otherwise. Only, as he answered my question, it turns out that it was far worse than I'd expected. So, so much worse.

“Raven... this has trace amounts of blessed silver in it.” “Blessed... what?” “...It means they were poisoning you.” | could feel as my body started to feel light, my legs swaying, and it was only a matter of seconds before Kieran had to catch me, stoppingfrom hitting the ground.

“Woah, let's get you to the couch,” he said, hoistingup into his arms.

Once comfortably seated and after my breathing had steadied, | decided to push through and ask the questions that | still needed answers to.

“So this whole t| really was drugged... just not in the way | thought,” | said, feeling bad for initially blaming Ki “I'm going to be brutally honest here,” he said. “And | don’t mean to scare you but I'm just surprised you're alive.

over such a long period of twould have messed with you significantly, making using your abilities incredibly difficult | assthat explains the extrpain, a cause for the blackouts. But thei and impossible to get your hands on for anything that isn‘t approved by an elder council. The fact that you can st “But... if it was meant to be suppressing my abilities, how cI still have better senses? More strength? Faster < of removing...,” he said in thought. But then his tone suddenly changed. “Actually... it sort of remindsof a story. Long ago, they used to say that the Silver Saintes-.” Abruptly, he then stopped talking without warning, quickly looking over toa little uncomfortably.

“What is it?” | asked, still waiting for him to proceed. But he only continued to stare, as if having a debate interna over what to say. “Ah... nothing. On second thought, it's not the sthing,” he said. “Just a story.” He was doing it again, | could tell. Shieldingfrom things he felt | wasn’t ready to know about. | understood why... but it was still frustrating. Sure, | was a little overwhelmed, but | had still managed to pick up things that sounded horrifying He’d mentioned wars, chemicals, poisons... a world hidden away that was full of people just like me, capable of abilities I'd once considered monstrous. But never once did he elaborate further or give more context than necessary.

“¥"] saw how overwhelmed you were over just meetingso | didn’t want to rush you into this world,”** was what he had said tothe other day. Just wh | didn‘t end up being able to press him for more answers though as he suddenly askeda question instead.

One | wasn’t expecting. Or, at least, one | knew he would eventually ask... but | wasn’t quite ready to answer yet.

“I need to know where you got these,” he said, making my chest tighten with stress. “...| need to know who gave you the medication, Raven.” And | instantly held my breath, frozen with confliction. Because to give such an answer meant admitting something I still wasnt