A Lifetime With You by Athrhteera

Chapter 47

Alena

The drive was long and tiring so when | had reached the villa, all | could do was lay down on the king-sized bed.

My eyes were swollen from crying throughout the whole drive which made it even harder to keep them open.

Memories of our marriage kept replaying in my head and | had regretted my impulsive decision but | kept going,

wanting to leave it all behind. At least for the tbeing. Luckily enough | was s still

on maternity leave because if not, | was going to risk my career too. A career | had worked hard for was not

worth risking; despite my current mental health issues. I looked up at my hands, feeling them oddly light without

the two rings.

| had somehow gotten used to wearing them, that somehow it felt empty now.

Just like that, the tears began to fall again. The sobs used to be quiet but now I didn't have to hide them

anymore as they filled the quiet room.

| didn't know where else to go other than our vacation villa which was located seven hours away from our home-

it felt far enough yet somehow safe. This villa was always empty, we only occasionally stop by whenever we

wanted to be away from the city but the last twe went, we had filled the villa with beautiful memories.

My hands soothed the sheets, somehow they smelled like home.

| couldn't understand the main reason behind all of this but | knew | wanted my own talone, further else.

When the tcame, | was going to home.

go

| just didn't know where hwas anymore.

away from anyone

As | closed my eyes, | remembered back to when Matteo had broughthere. He carriedall the way from

the car to the front door, in bridal style. We felt like newlyweds even when we had been married for months at

the time.

The way he kissed my lips and showeredwith his love; he was always perfect.

also remembered when he took care ofwhen | was sick. Those rough nights with high fever that | had to be

admitted to the emergency, not once did he leave my side. He had stayed besidethe whole night, holding

my hand until he fell asleep. | realised | how hard

hard it was to love me. Yet, he pushed through and made it seemed so easy.

Throughout my first trimester was hard but he made the journey bearable. Every morning was the worst because

| couldn't stop going to the bathroom to throw everything up, yet he soothed and comforted me. He fulfilled my

cravings. He understood my mood swings. | was blessed with a good husband. Why was | throwing it all away?

My heart ached at the thought of losing Matteo. We were never apart ever since we got married. Now, | was

convincing myself we just needed a bit of taway until we could think straight, without hurting each other.

I knew if I told him the reason why, he was never going to letleave.

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I knew if I had expressed my feelings, he was only going to want to be withmore. Chapter 47

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This was a healing journey of my own until | could find peace within. It didn't mind how long it was going to take

forto find it but | wanted to cback stronger and better, where Matteo and | could be ourselves again.

| hated every ti hurt him. | hated every t| went against him.

| knew the sufferings he went through beforeand | never wanted to put him through the same. He deserved

so much more than pain.

It tookawhile to realise | had fallen asleep with my own tears.

The only thing that wokeup in the morning was the loud knocking on the front door. | had taken my tto

walk down the stairs and glanced at the glass window but the figure outside had takenby surprise-it was

none other than my own mother.

I sighed, pulling the door open.

Mama looked atin disgust, taking in my appearance. Truth be told, I didn't need to look in the mirror to see

how much of a mess | was. | spent hours driving on my own, crying and | didn't even take my tto ‘shower

once | reached here. So, yes, | knew | looked horrible.

"You don't look like yourself, dear." Mama said, stepping in.

"How did you find me?" | asked, closing the door behind her.

"I have my ways."

"Shit-"

She cutoff before | could say the words, "Don't worry, it's just me. Matteo doesn't know,"

I let out a breath of relief.

"Let it be that way."

it

"What is going with you

two?"

Still

"Still doesn't explain why you're here, Mama. Still doesn't explain how you found me." | shrugged, making my

way towards the kitchen with her trailing behind me.

It was pretty obvious there was no food in the kitchen. We hadn't thought on restocking anything here because

we knew they were only going to spoil-l was supposed to stop by the grocery store before coming here. At least |

could eat something in the morning. Maybe, for as long as | was going to be here. As long as Matteo remained

oblivious.

"Your brother has placed a tracker in your car. That's how | found you," she replied. "Seems more psychotic than

my husband."

"For a family like us, it's only for the sake of our safety."

| took a sip of water before sitting on the stool, ignoring my mother's stare. Knowing her well enough, she had a

lot to say but she was trying hard not to burst. She had a lot to ask as well. "Matteo and your father are looking

everywhere for you." Mama added, grabbing my hand before caressing the back of it.

"Did

Did you tell them? Did Alexei tell them?"

No.

09.

He listens to his Mama," she replied..

Fri, Oct 25 Chapter 47

Just

like

that, the tears began to form again and she immediately wrapped her arms around my body. | hadn't felt the

warmth of her body in awhile and how much | had missed her touch, regardless of how far | went. She was

always my mother, the one who understoodthe most. "Why is this happening to me, Mama?" | asked,

sobbing.

"Shh, don't question it like that, sweetheart. You're my strong girl

girls don't breakdown."

Ing girls breakdown all the time. How you cback is what matters,"

"I miss him." | muttered, knowing well enough | meant Marco.

Mama rubbed my back, trying to soothe and comfort me. She didn't have to ask to know it was Marco | meant.

Mama was the most excited after Matteo when she heard about my pregnancy and she had planned many

things. Of course, when | had lost Marco, she was the most disappointed as well. Then again,

she

knew things like this could happen to anyone and she never blamedfor my angel baby. She knew Marco had

cfrom heaven and he belonged in heaven.

"We all do, sweetheart. We all miss him," she responded.

My heart continued to ache, hating the fact | could never hold my son ever again.

"Don't tell Matteo I'm here,"

"How long do you plan on staying here?"

"For as long as | need."

Mama sighed, "He worries about you."

"I know. | just can't be around him for now."

"He's your husband, my love. Why do you have to say that?"

Shook r

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"I know. | just don't want to have him around for now. I'll just hurt him even more and | don't want that, Mama."

my head, "

all the time, right? | can keep you company," she smiled.

let me

let visit you all

I nodded, "I'd love that."

I nod

Mama continued to huguntil it madefeel slightly better. | didn't want her to pull away either because |

enjoyed the comfort; | felt as if Mama could understandmost when it cto losing a child, even though

Mama had never went through that. She was a mother. She knew how mothers felt.

We spent the day together watching movies. We didn't bother to leave the house to buy groceries to cook so we

decided to

husband. order in-spending ttogether without interruptions. My phone hadn't stop ringing ever since | woke

up but | had turned it off, not wanting to receive another call from my

Mama, on the other hand, didn't like my action. However, she respected it.

| felt guilty for doing that because | knew Matteo was suffering. Yet, at times like these, | needed to put myself

first before anyone else.

FD

Fri, Oct 25

Chapter 47

| needed to stop thinking about anything else and focus on myself.

Mama and | laughed at the movie as we enjoyed our food. It was our third movie of the day and for once in my

life, it felt nice not to do anything. | felt at peace for being able to relax and enjoy even though | knew once

Mama left, | was going to cry again. It was my problem for later. Hours had passed and it tookawhile to

realise it had gotten dark.

It was also tfor Mama to leave-she had an early flight to London so she wasn't going to be coming for the

next couple of days. Even though she had offered to cancel her trip to London and stay the next few days with

me, | couldn't let her do that.

FD

FD

She was going to London with her friends to have fun and she deserved it. They had planned it for awhile, she

didn't have to cancel for my sake.

"I love you, sweetheart." Mama kissed my forehead before entering the car, her own personal chauffeur drove

away afterwards.

| was left all by myself again, feeling lonely.

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