And Then There Were Four (Lilith Carrie)

Chapter 178: Shocking Confessions

Cassie.

I wasn't sure what I was doing or what was going to happen, but something about Silas being close to

me was overwhelming. Something about him staring at me the way he did drove my heart crazy. He

was supposed to simply be a friend... a guy I had met on campus who happened to help me when I

needed it most with Lucas.

Yet, during the time we had spent together things had changed and every part of me screamed out to

be with him.

I had done it once before... and I can't resist the urge to do it again.

The moment my lips crashed upon his, a fire burnt through me that was something I hadn't

experienced before, and I knew he felt it too because the heat that poured off his body told me he

wanted this as much as I did.

With the lift of his arms around my body, he pulled me up higher upon his chest, my legs wrapping

around his waist as he held me to him. Our tongues battled for dominance as he walked me towards

the sofa, sitting down with me straddling his lap.

As much as I wanted to continue, he broke the kiss, his hands in my hair as he stared at me with

darting eyes that seemed to search for answers I didn't know how to explain.

‘'Cassie-" he breathed out shallowly trying to catch his breath, "what are we doing?"

As much as I wanted to answer him with something serious, I couldn't. A snort of laughter escaped me

as I pressed my lips gently to him again. "Kissing... don't stop-"

Attempting to kiss him again, he stopped me once more, shaking his head. "Cassie, we can't, trust me I

want to but we can’t."

“Why not?" I frowned in confusion at his refusal. "We have before-"

“Yes, but you're not the same as before, Cassie," he replied, cutting me off. 'You’re not just a celestial

half-breed. You're the future of this realm, and you're meant to be paired with a mate from the games.

Not someone like me."

There were no words I could say that would explain the heartache I felt, and I couldn't be angry

because I could see in his own face the upset he felt in saying it. It was clear the games were more of a

problem for me than I wanted to admit, and taking them seriously was something I was obviously going

to have to do.

"Don't say that..." I muttered softly, shaking my head, his hands falling to my thighs as he cast his gaze

to the far while breathing deeply. "Silas, don’t say that... I can't lose you.'

Snapping his attention back to me, he scoffed with a smile. 'You will never leave me. I may not be

assigned to you as your guardian, but I will always be here for you. From now... until forever, Cassie. I

just can’t be this that you want. You deserve to have your mate.”

I hated he was refusing what we both knew we wanted, but I understood how he thought he was

helping to save me from doing something that could harm my reputation or anything else forthat matter.

It was my life, and the fact I was being faced with all the royal bullshit and now Silas wanting to

suddenly be respectable, was annoying.

Climbing off his lap, I groaned in frustration as I stood to my feet and straightened out my clothing.

Here I was in the mood to have him ravish me and help me forget about all the bullshit I was going

through, and instead, he stops and worries about how I would look to other people.

“Silas, I don't care what other people think about me. I will end up picking whoever I want for my mate,

and that's just how it's going to be."

My comment didn't seem to sink in with him as a chuckle escaped his lips, and he stared at me with

amusement in his eyes. 'You don't get to pick, Cassie. That's now how this works.'

Not understanding what he meant, I opened my mouth to speak but instead, hesitated as he stood to

his feet. “What are you talking about?"

“I mean that you don't get to decide. Cassie, the games decide for you. You were told this, weren't

you?" I couldn't lie and say I wasn't because, in a way, I sort of was. Sansa had tried to explain things

to me, and I didn't really listen to certain things told to me at the gathering.

“I can change that, though..." I stuttered, shaking my head, "I won't let them tell me what I can or can't

do."

Stepping forward, he shook his head with a sad glance. 'Unfortunately, you don't have the power to

change that."

Hearing Silas's doubts about what I was able to do was disappointing. I would have thought that by

now, he would have known I was able to do anything I set my mind to unless I was a fool to believe I

could. 'I can do whatever I want too..."

Clenching my fists at my side, I refused to believe the man standing in front of me was saying the

things he was. Only just a moment ago, we were making out, and I at least was hoping for more, and

now he is standing in front of me with a nonchalant kind of glance as if what I'm saying is impossible.

I wished more than anything he wouldn't act the way he was because, besides Sansa, I really wanted

him on my side. Yeah, he may have been willing to help me figure out the shit I was supposed to do...

but, this was ridiculous everyone around me thought I would simply sit back and do as I was told.

"Cassie, let's not argue... this isn't what I came here for."

The calm response made me grit my teeth as I narrowed my gaze at him. "Then what are you doing

here, Silas?"

He was silent for a moment as he seemed to weigh his choice of wording correctly before responding. I

wasn't sure why he had come if it hadn't been to spend time with me. Then again, I had jumped to

conclusions with my reactions to his arrival to begin with.

"I came to check on you and apologize for leaving," he replied politically as if suddenly he was

indifferent to our interaction. Yet, even though he spoke, I knew deep down there was more to it than

what he was explaining.

“I can tell there is more to what you're telling me. So why don’t you spit it out and stop hiding whatever

it is you’re hiding.'

As the corner of his lips rose into a smirk and a soft sigh left his throat, I knew my assumptions were

correct. "Well, I was sincere in saying I would help you with the games, Cassie. However, I did want to

let you know ahead of time that there are going to be more creatures involved than what you simply

already know."

“What are you talking about?"

The cryptic message wasn't something I understood, and stepping toward me, he stared down with a

sense of knowing that drove me crazy with curiosity. "Do you know much about the Fae realm?"

The question caught me completely off guard, and as I stared at him with my lips parted, completely

dumbfounded, I shook my head no. "Should I be?"

“Yes, Cassie. You should be. There is more going on behind the scenes than you know, and even

though you're angry at me because of what has taken place tonight... I’m not what you should worry

yourself with. There are going to be people here who are going to test you, and if you're not prepared,

you will fall... just like so many others have."

Silas's words were a warning, and as I watched him turn and head towards my bedroom door, I found

myself left with so many questions he obviously had no interest in wanting to answer.

“Where are you going? You can't just leave things like that," I snapped angrily as I marched after him

grabbing his upper arm, stopping him in his tracks.

Glancing down at me over his shoulder, he stared for a moment before pulling his arm from my grasp.

"Cassie, if I stay around like I was before, I will only complicate things for you. Sansa and others are

going to be able to help you more than I can."

“So you’re abandoning me after you just said you weren’t?" I scoffed, shaking my head, “what the hell

is wrong with you? Why even come here then?"

"I came to help you... but now, I feel like I made a mistake."

Hearing him say seeing me was a mistake shifted something inside me. Anger I had never felt before

bubbled deep inside my chest, and with every second that passed, I felt myself growing angrier that he

was standing here saying what he was.

"So now seeing me is a mistake?" The laughter that bubbled from me made him roll his eyes.

"Stop putting words in my mouth, Cassie. That's not what I meant, and you know it."

"Do I though?" I replied, my hand reaching past him to grip the door handle as I pulled the door open

and gestured with my eyes for him to leave. "Go on. That's what your good at right... leaving?"

The pain I was feeling may have been masked by the anger I was showing, but could he blame me for

being angry? I had literally been on my own for the most part with all this shit, and the moment I felt

hope I had him here, he shut down on me and was pulling away again.

Shaking his head he laughed once more at my comment, his hand reaching up and rubbing the back of

his neck. 'You can think what you want, Cassie, but you're completely wrong about that."

“Am I though?" His eyes met mine, reflecting his own irritation over the situation as I clenched my jaw,

'look at us... you come back, and already we are at each other's throats."

"Yes, we are!" he yelled throwing his hands in the air, "because you're assuming shit without even

taking a look at the bigger picture! You know nothing of the realm or how things are done. You're stuck

in your old fucking ways, and that isn't going to fly with the shit you're required to do!"

Taken back by his outburst, I lashed out at him, shoving him towards the door in anger. My heart raced

and as the adrenaline pushed through my veins, I felt the change in my come over rather quickly. The

change reflected in Silas's eyes as they widened with shock.

“Fuck you, Silas. I'm not fucking changing for anyone! Do you hear me?! I'm not changing, not that you

actually fucking give a shit about me."

Shoving him again, the power behind my thrust caused him to stagger back into the wall by the door,

and as it did, his hand reached out, gripping my throat as the fire burned behind his eyes. I had pushed

him a little too hard, and as he stared down at me with a loose grip on my neck, I saw the confliction

weighing within him.

“You have no idea what you're talking about, nor the length I would go to to make sure you're safe and

happy, Cassie. You're everything to me, and it kills me I can't be what you want, but this is the life we

both live and you will have to accept it the way I have had to do."

Dropping his grip on my throat, I watched him adjust his shoulders and turn to exit my room with the

echoed sound of the door slamming behind him. Silas didn't leave me a chance to explain or say

anything in regard to what he said before he left, and as I stood there trying to process the confession, I

knew he was right.

I didn't have a single clue about anything, and if I kept acting the way I was, then I wouldn't have

anyone left around me in the end.