Chosen by Fate, Rejected by the Alpha

Chapter 396 - Trinity - Journals Part 2 (VOLUME 3)

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Trinity

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April 10, 1513

I have tried to avoid the Commander, but it is no use. He seems to be able to follow me anywhere. I cannot seem to get him out of my head either. His eyes are like the ocean, when I would stare out at it to contemplate my life. There was the dark, nearly black of the angry sea on the outside, then there was a ring of the sapphire blue that was the calm waters with the sun shining down. The innermost color of his eyes was a blue so bright that it was just a shade or two away from white. Then it went straight into the black of his pupil. The way that his eyes looked nearly made me dizzy when I stared into them. And oh his hair was just as unique. The blues that made up that color were all different shades of the ocean's waters.

He appeared to be quite capable and tenacious, with a towering presence and quite an excess of vigor..I couldn't take my eyes off of him as we moved about the battlegrounds. He was fast, competent, and smart as well. I was learning that it wasn't that the Fae couldn't handle the threat against them, it was that there was a seemingly never ending horde of beasts that they needed to fight through almost constantly. I had been wrong, misinformed, and quite judgemental.

I had been wrong about Rhinum from the start. He was an exceptional man, and I couldn't help but think that I was already slowly falling in love with him.

April 20, 1513

We have been constantly embroiled in battle over the last week. The situation has been difficult. The horde had not stopped coming after us. We have just finally managed to get a lull in the attacks, and we are resting as much as we can. There are several warriors sleeping in shifts at the moment, so that we will not be ambushed in the night.

I have been invited to have dinner with Rhinum before the night is over. This will be one of the first times that we have been truly alone since he kissed me that first instance. He has, of course, kissed me quite a few times since then. He had taken to kissing me before each fight, but he protects my honor by not doing it in front of the others. I am about to tell him to hell with honor, I want love.

April 21, 1513

I don't know if I should be overjoyed or upset about what happened last night. When I went to have dinner with Rhinum, I ended up staying with him all night. I am no longer what my father would call an innocent woman. I lost that to him last night, and I am actually feeling very good about it. I know most women would be, or should be, upset about it. I am not upset though, I don't think I can be upset about it.

Also, Rhinum told me that he loves me. I know it is too soon, but I feel it too. He gave me a ring and asked me to come back to Faerie with him when the war is over. He wants me to marry him, and he doesn't care what his family or my family has to say about it. I told him that I would, I want to marry him as well.

April 29, 1513

The hordes have disappeared now. We are advancing on the enemy. We hope to reach the stronghold tomorrow. There is a chance this might all be over in the next day or two. Then I can do what I thought I never would. I can go with Rhinum to his home, I can marry him, and I can be with him forever.

May 1, 1513

I am lost. There is nothing for me now. I was in trouble during the battle yesterday. We had reached the inner halls of the stronghold and a monster of a creature tore from the group and came after me. Rhinum saw what was happening, and he dashed to my side. He slew the beast, but not before being injured.

Rhinum died in my arms. I held him as he took his last breath. After that, I don't remember much. I went into a frenzy and killed every enemy that was left. I killed them all. I ended the war, but at what cost. My mate was gone, and I had nothing left to live for.

May 5, 1513

They wanted me to go to Faerie for a celebration. They wanted to tell me that they appreciated my contribution. They wanted to thank me for avenging the Commander. I refused. I didn't want to go because they wouldn't know nor would they understand that I had been in love with the Commander. They wouldn't understand that Rhinum was my mate.

May 10, 1513

I left my warriors at the entrance to Faerie. I left them and began to walk. I don't know where I am going to go. I don't know what I am going to do. But I found out today that I am with child. That one night, that one time with Rhinum resulted in a child that will be an extension of us. I had wanted to give up. I had wanted to follow after my mate to the other side, but I can't do that now. I need to stay here to raise his child. I will do all that I can for my baby. I will never again think about leaving this world too soon.

I came to the end of that passage and I had to pause. The loss, the suffering that Ellyria must have felt. I can't even imagine how she felt when her mate died in her arms, and for a moment I just sat there crying as I thought about it. I didn't even want to try and think about the possibility that one day Reece might die, and I would be left alone. Goddess knows that we do not live the safest of lives.