Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!

For the life of me, I couldn’t believe that this question would be asked of me multiple times and it was just a running gag at this point. I wasn’t even the one that started it but I may have a small involvement in making it get to this state. But luckily enough, Tatiana finally came back with her food—along with a few extras—before I got to answer.

Well, Quinn didn’t even bother to push me because my reaction was probably enough of an answer. And after that, it didn’t take long before we ate for a short bit and got ready to go outside.

Once we stepped foot out of Mr. Cuervo’s mansion, the crew was already in the process of finishing up though the celebration was still going as hard as it began. Food was still being served, drinks were still being handed, dancers were still flaunting their bodies, and there was nary a frown on anyone’s face.

However, a woman wearing a frilly maid outfit approached and greeted me with a bright smile.

“Mr. Ishiyama, we’ve been waiting for you!”

“We?”

“Oh! Mr. Mauro and Mrs. Elsa— the newlyweds are expecting to meet with you! They’re particularly interested in the catalog you sent them!”

Quinn interjected, “You gave them a fucking catalog—”

“Chill, I don’t know what the two want so what better way to do it is to give them the choice of what to receive. Mr. Cuervo thought he could slide the car I made for him straight to their laps but he’s dead wrong. As always, everything is accounted for.”

“But what are the things available in that catalog?”

“I have different ones ready but the couple seemed to like cars and knives so I got them those. However, I can’t give them what they picked out of the lot as of this moment because I can’t possibly bring everything I have over here so they have to wait a little bit of time to get their present.”

Tatiana chuckled, “I thought presents are supposed to be a surprise?”

“Hah! If you already forgot, I hate fucking surprises—I know they’re sometimes good—but I’m worried about the bad ones. There’s comfort in certainty, right?”

At this point, the three of us gave a short laugh as our maid escort gave a slight chuckle, and we were soon led to the elevated platform the newlyweds were in. To my surprise, Mr. Cuervo, Sally, Kaley, Edith, Dave, Mason, and a few others were present and they all turned around to look at us when they arrived.

Kaley quickly took to my side as she gave me a knowing look but I just fastened my wakizashi on her hip after stealing a kiss.

Sally was the first one to speak up, “Took you long enough. Had a little fun, eh?”

I chuckled as I scratched the back of my head, “Yeah, I took a nap.”

“Nap, my ass…” Kaley whispered with a laugh.

“GHAHAHA! You little fucker, come on over here, we’re just talking about the gift you brought. A fucking catalog, eh? That’s new. If—”

Elsa interjected, “Aunt Sal, I quite like the display here. Mauro, what do you think?”

Mauro nodded as he was still looking at one particular page in the catalog, “Yeah… I’m torn between five— no, six items… Are you sure I can only get one? It’s my wedding and all?”

I pretended to ponder for a bit before I gave my answer, “I’ll let you pick out five items if you name your firstborn after me—”

“Deal— Gackk!”

It didn’t even take a full second before Kaley and Elsa simultaneously elbowed the two of us and a series of laughter just followed. The two of us were still recoiling from the immediate pain but Elsa walked up to me with shining eyes.

“This Jian and this longsword interest me but I’d like to know what would it take to have that on your hip?”

“Umm—”

Quinn instantly quipped, “Aren’t you married already, Elsa?”

“Hah?”

“Why’d you need two dicks—”

“I’M TALKING ABOUT HIS KATANA, QUINN! SHUT UP!!!”

“Roight~ Roight~ His katana, sure…”

The two were about to have an unofficial fight but my words cut them off.

“I’m sorry, these are mine and they’re not for sale. It’s possible to have something made for you but it’ll take a few years—and in our current situation—maybe more.”

“…”

My words led Elsa to look me deeply in the eye but she soon nodded a few times as she stretched her hands out.

“Can I touch it for a moment, at least?”

And Quinn just had to.

“Again, why’d you need another—”

“I SAID, SHUT UP!!!”

It didn’t take long before I pulled my katana out with its scabbard and handed it to Elsa, and everyone just watched her pull it out in wonder and amusement. She looked like a kid that just got her first toy but to my surprise and everyone else’s, she cut herself at the same spot she cut herself earlier and blood just dripped from the tip of her finger down to her palms.

Edith was the first one to react as she put pressure on the wound with a clean cloth and Sally was just shaking her head in disbelief.

However, Elsa was smiling brightly as she looked at the edge of the blade that she cut herself with before she turned to me and handed my sword back.

“That’s sharp. I barely put it against my skin… Seriously, what would it take to have something like that?”

I scratched my head as I looked at everyone, “Trust me, the trouble of—”

“No. I want something like that. I’ll do anything to have something of my own.”

“Something of your own, then? You’re not just gonna steal this off my corpse?”

At this moment, a thin film of tension filled the air but Elsa just let out a short chuckle before smiling faintly.

“I have my own reasons.”

I stared at her deeply before giving my reply, “Fine, but I can only take you to the man who made it. I can’t force him to make something he doesn’t want to make and also, he decides what to make for you… be it a fork, a spatula, or a butter knife. And that’s on the premise that you pass in his eyes and I hope to fucking god or whatever thing you worship, he’s still alive.”

As the words left my mouth, not only Elsa but everyone else that was listening grew curious and interested in the prospect of meeting this mysterious fellow that made the blade on my hips. However, Elsa’s interest in the topic far surpassed anybody and she was listening to my every word.

“So, when will we go?”

“You just got married, right? How about you—”

“Two weeks? A month?”

“No. Let’s say a year at the earliest.”

“A fucking year?!”

“Let’s just say that he’s in a different country that is in a much worse state than ours and I still have my own turf to worry about.”

“…”

“In the meantime, I do apologize but all I could say right now is that you’d have to do with whatever’s in the catalog. Well, all of them are still fine works but I can’t lie and say that they’re of the same quality as the ones I got on my wife and me. They’re one of a kind and if you really want something for yourself, you gotta go to extreme lengths to earn it.”

There was a moment of silence as everyone was just looking at me deeply—some of them thinking I was fibbing or something—but the people who knew me for a while and Elsa knew that I wasn’t kidding one bit. However, one of the people who aren’t as interested, Mason, piped up while looking through the catalog in Mauro’s hand.

“Oi! Do you really have an R34 in storage?”

“Yeah, among other things.”

“How much?”

“Hmm~ A 10mm and a chain would do—”

“YOU—”

“I’m kidding, heh. We could talk shop later after Mauro picks his gift.”

“Fine, I’ll take you up on that.”

“Sure.”

After a short while, we agreed upon the Jian and the SRT-10 in my catalog and I promised to deliver it to them after a week or so. They even gave me their contact information and the place they’d be staying at though Mauro had a few requests to beef up his gift.

I took a mental note of all the performance upgrades he wanted to be done on it and we all shook hands before our attention was drawn back to the stage.

None of us noticed that Mr. Cuervo snuck out of the platform and went straight to the stage, and even his face was plastered on the huge screen at the back. Everyone knew what was about to come and the building tension was getting accompanied by the music that was getting louder and louder.

At the right fucking moment, everything became deathly quiet before the music ramped up to the highest volume.