Cultivation Chat Group (Web Novel)

Song Shuhang summoned up his courage to enter the dormitory. He then locked the dormitory door on the way in.

It was possible that there was only one such big Pekingese dog in the world. Without doubt, the one before his eyes was the Pekingese giant demon dog which had been chasing Devil Monarch Anzhi around yesterday, and gave him a vicious bite at the end.

This proved that for things like dogs, the smaller they were the cuter they were. Even if it was a dog with various mixed bloods, it would still be chubby when it was just born, and very cute.

Nevertheless when the small dog grew up, a large majority would become completely uncute. Even if it was the small dog breeds like a Pekingese, when they grew bigger than five metres, they would lose any relation with the word cute.

The giant Pekingese demon dog was squatting there, it’s tongue lolling out as it panted. It was just like a normal dog. Actually for a demon dog of this rank, it wouldn’t be afraid of the heat, so why would it need to loll it’s tongue?

In that instant, Song Shuhang’s mind thought of the method of the Immortal Farming Sect to ‘shout towards large demon dogs: Screw your mother! If you have the guts come eat me!’

Mm, he wasn’t adorably foolish. He wouldn’t do this.

“Nice to meet you.” Song Shuhang gathered his courage to wave at the giant Pekingese demon dog.

“Huhuhu.” The giant Pekingese tilted his head. It was a pose that could have been very cute if it it was smaller by several tens of times.

“You can understand me right? I know high ranking demon beasts have intelligence.” Song Shuhang saw that this giant demon beast didn’t have the intention to attack him, so he temporarily sighed in relief.

The giant Pekingese demon dog changed its angle, and continued to tilt it’s head and act cute.

“He doesn’t understand Standard Chinese1?” Song Shuhang asked suspiciously.

This giant demon dog definitely had intelligence. It wouldn’t be any less than a human. This could be seen from the ridiculing look in it’s eyes when it was facing the Immortal Farming Sect members.

However, demon dogs aren’t humans, and didn’t have a nine year compulsory education system. Perhaps what it spoke was some weird area’s dialect? So it didn’t understand Standard Chinese?

So, when that Immortal Farming Sect disciple had been courting death in front of that giant demon dog, saying ‘Screw your mother! If you have the guts come eat your grandaddy!’, it simply hadn’t understood? So, it spared those two Immortal Farming Sect disciples?

Song Shuhang began to feel this was more and more likely.

Then, it used the expressions and tone of humans to infer the meaning of what was being said?

Thinking to this point, Song Shuhang had a sudden thought. He thought of a joke he had seen not long before.

So, he had a slight smile on it’s face. Using a gentle tone, he said, “Hello, is your mother a big monkey?”2

When the giant Pekingese demon dog heard this, it no longer acted cute. It’s head was no longer tilted, and it retracted its tongue. A ridiculing look appeared in it’s eyes again.

Then, it used a smooth Beijing dialect accent to reply. “Your mother is a gorilla! Woof!”

“…” Song Shuhang was speechless.

This Pekingese demon dog had really bad taste!

After the giant Pekingese demon dog had finished speaking, it then stuck out its tongue and began to make ‘huhuhu’ panting sounds, and looked at Song Shuhang with a expressionless face, and even rolled its eyes.

Song Shuhang sighed. He took off his shoes and went to the dormitory bedroom. At the same time, he became more relaxed. This giant demon dog still knew to make jokes with him, so at least it wouldn’t eat him right?

He came to the bedroom, and the giant Pekingese demon dog also followed.

“Did you come find me for anything?” After Song Shuhang thought for very long, he couldn’t think of how to address this giant Pekingese demon dog.

“Mm. I came to ask some questions.” Human language came out of the mouth of this giant Pekingese demon dog again. “Did you come into contact with Medicine Master recently?”

Song Shuhang was immediately on the alert, his mind thinking about how to best reply.

“No need to deny it. The truth was that a few days ago I could already the scent of Medicine Master on you. Mm, I also smelt that little lass of the Su Clan on you yesterday, and then that fellow Su Clan’s Ah Qi.” The giant Pekingese demon dog seemed to be very familiar, and went through the names of the cultivators Song Shuhang had come into contact with recently.

When Song Shuhang had heard to this point, his mind flashed.

“You’re the precious giant demon dog that ran away from True Monarch Mt.Huang’s home?” He still remembered how when he had just entered the group, the group members had said True Monarch Mt.Huang had been very busy those few days. His precious giant demon dog had run away from home again.

At that time Song Shuhang had thought the seniors in the group were all chuunibyou, and thought it had been a pet dog of True Monarch Mt.Huang that had run away from home.

Mm… Now it seemed that it really was a pet dog. Pekingese was indeed a breed of pet dog. It was just that the one that True Monarch Mt.Huang had was a tad bigger .

“Woof.” The giant Pekingese demon dog tilted its head, a look of annoyance on it’s face. Don’t ask why Song Shuhang could tell a look of annoyance from a dog’s face. Anyways he could magically tell so.

“True Monarch Mt.Huang didn’t bring you back last time?” Song Shuhang asked suspiciously. Recently True Monarch Mt.Huang had kept appearing online. He had thought the giant demon dog had been found already.

“Woof.” The giant Pekingese demon dog tilted his head to another direction, continuing to coldly harrumph in annoyance.

Song Shuhang secretly sighed. Mm, with such a pet dog, True Monarch Mt.Huang was also quite pitiful.

“So, what did you look for me for?” Song Shuhang asked.

“I’m looking for Medicine Master. I want him to make some medicinal pills as snacks.” The giant Pekingese demon dog continued to act cute. “So yesterday I followed you, to look for Medicine Master. After following and following, until the hospital. Then, some unknown bastard released some poison gas bomb. I wasn’t taking notice and suffered the attack. It was so disgusting I couldn’t eat for a whole day. Woof woof!”

“…” The corners of Song Shuhang’s mouth cramped. That wouldn’t be the Stink Pill he himself released right?

“So, I’m asking you, where is Medicine Master now?” The giant Pekingese demon dog asked.

“Medicine Master seems to suddenly have something on, and went to help a few friends treat their illness. His friends had some problems while adventuring, and seemed to have lost their memories. So, Medicine Master will only be back in a few days. If you’re not in a rush, you can come back in a few days to look for him.” Song Shuhang replied.

The giant Pekingese demon dog thought about it. “Then that’s alright. I’ll look for him a few days later. Finally, are you a new member of the Nine Provinces Number One Group? With relations to Medicine Master, and contact with that fellow Su Clan’s Ah Qi. But I’ve never seen you before in the chat.”

Song Shuhang nodded. “Mm. I am indeed a newly added member of the Nine Provinces Number One Group.”

“Then that’s good. Lend me your account. Can I chat for a few sentences? Woof woof!” The giant Pekingese demon dog got excited, and it’s tail began to wag at high speed.

“Chat?” Song Shuhang looked at that small computer. Looking at that over five metres large giant Pekingese. With a light tap of it’s paws, his computer would shatter and need to be sent to the recycling centre right?

“I can shrink!” When it saw Song Shuhang’s gaze, the giant Pekingese demon dog immediately understood. It’s body flashed. In the white light, it quickly became the size of a normal Pekingese.

With this size, it was actually really cute?!

“How is it? My transformation is really cool right. Come come come, switch on the account and enter the account.” The Pekingese cheerfully jumped about.

“Alright.” Song Shuhang switched on the computer, but didn’t enter the account on the desktop chat software. He instead found an independant chat software backup from a folder in the E Drive. He used that to log in.

Ever since the incident with Altar Master, he had become more careful with regards to his identity as a cultivator. He had prepared various protections on his computer. He didn’t dare leave the records of his account log in on his computer. He used the methods used in Internet Cafes. When he logged out it would automatically delete the chat account records.

After typing in the account password and logging into the chat software. He then turned around to let the giant demon dog use the computer. He was still on the alert. After all whether the Pekingese was the one that belonged to True Monarch Mt.Huang was merely a guess.

The Pekingese demon dog happily climbed onto the computer table. It seemed that after becoming small, even its mass had decreased. Or else this computer table would have long since broken down.

Then, it familiarly used it’s paws to open the window for the Nine Provinces Number One Group.

Then, it even used the five stroke input method to type!

My god, it’s even using the five stroke input method to type? I myself use pinyin! Song Shuhang thought in his heart.

While thinking, the Pekingese demon dog had already tapped a whole stream of words, and was also very fast at typing.

Nine Provinces Number One Group.

Great Pressure of Mt.Books: “@True Monarch Mt.Huang, Mt.Huang you big foolish——idiot! Come out! If you have the guts come out!”

Song Shuhang began to have cold sweat that he couldn’t stop.

“?” Loose Cultivator Northriver was the first to reply. He asked a question suspiciously. “Little friend Shuhang?”

True Monarch Mt.Huang: “…”

Great Pressure of Mt.Books: “Wahaha, I’ve escaped again! How about it! Big foolish——idiot Mt.Huang! Come bite me!”

Song Shuhang silently watched as the Pekingese demon dog typed at lightning speed. If senior Medicine Master saw this, he would surely be crying until he fainted in the toilet!

Loose Cultivator Northriver: “…”

Roamcloud Monk Tongxuan: “…”

Medicine Master: “…”

Then there was a long row of seniors, who were using ellipses to maintain group formation.

There was no need to say it. They had guessed the reason. True Monarch Mt.Huang’s precious giant demon dog had ran away from home again. It had even ran over to little friend Shuhang’s place. It was using little friend Shuhang’s account to chat online.

“Little Dou Dou3, don’t make trouble anymore.” True Monarch Mt.Huang replied.

“Che. I want to make trouble. What can you do to me? If you have the ability, come bite me, come bite me!” The Pekingese cheerfully used strength to tap on the keyboard.

When this had just been sent.

[System Notification: (******) Great Pressure of Mt.Books has been blocked by chat admin True Monarch Mt.Huang for 1 day]

He was banned.

These few days, True Monarch Mt.Huang had been using the great banning art more times than the entire whole of last month. Just thinking about it made Song Shuhang feel tired for him.

“Fudge, Big Idiot Mt.Huang, you dare block me! Woof woof woof!” The giant Pekingese demon dog raged.

If I was True Monarch Mt.Huang, I’ll definitely ban you. No, I’ll definitely consider having dog meat hotpot for dinner. This was what Song Shuhang thought in secret.

…That wasn’t right. Wait wait wait. This account was mine ahhhhhhhhh!

At this time, in the Nine Provinces Number One Group, True Monarch Mt.Huang sent a message. “Little friend Shuhang, I’ll have to trouble you for a while about little Dou Dou. Wait for me to finish my matters here. In at most two months, I’ll hurry to your place and retrieve it. Before that… Don’t let little Dou Dou run off!”

Song Shuhang looked at the giant Pekingese demon dog. Then he looked at his thin arms and tiny legs. Look after ‘little Dou Dou’? He felt there was absolutely no hope for this task.

The Pekingese demon dog turned to look at Song Shuhang. “Woof woof, Big Idiot Mt.Huang, how is this rookie supposed to watch me?”

Song Shuhang felt the veins on his forehead began to buldge!

1: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Standard_Chinese

2: This is a Chinese joke that is about making fun of those that don’t understand the language.

3: Dou Dou means Bean Bean in English