Cultivation Chat Group (Web Novel)

Chapter 334: Lady Onion, where’s your upper body?

Translator: Stardu5t Editor: Kurisu

“Since it’s little friend Shuhang, perhaps he can struggle and stay alive for a few more episodes ¹ ?” True Monarch Yellow Mountain pinched his chin, mumbling to himself. After all, little friend Shuhang was different from the fellow daoists that welcomed Venerable White the previous times.

“Hmph, that little kid… I bet he can live two more episodes at most!” said the being next to True Monarch Yellow Mountain with disdain. Its appearance was as beautiful as that of an angel, boasting six wings on the back and radiating ‘holy light’ from the entire body.

It was none other than True Monarch White Crane, who was very popular in the West.

True Monarch White Crane possessed the bloodline left behind by a mythological beast from ancient times. That species had no gender when they emerged from their eggs. Only when they found the true love of their life, as well as signed something similar to a marriage contract, would their gender change into the opposite of their love interest.

If their true love was a male, they would become female. If their true love was a female, they would become male.

This was a species that allowed the true freedom of love, surpassing the boundaries of gender and species… truth be told, it was not an easy feat for such bloodline to continue into the present day.

Note: Even though True Monarch White Crane had already found the desired partner of its life, it had not signed any special marriage contract—hence it was still in a genderless state.

True Monarch Yellow Mountain laughed, not refuting True Monarch White Crane’s words.

True Monarch White Crane swiped on its own tablet and the interface of the ‘Nine Provinces Number One Group’ appeared on the screen. After it traveled till here from the faraway West, it discovered that Venerable White had been added to the Nine Provinces Number One Group. Therefore, it thickened its face and asked True Monarch Yellow Mountain to add itself to the group too.

True Monarch White Crane’s ID in the group was ‘I’m that little white crane at the edge of the Earth’s End’—it seemed like an ID with a backstory.

And at this time, it carefully stored the [Senior White’s expression package] on its tablet and used a program to export each picture within it before saving all of them into a document.

True Monarch White Crane looked very satisfied—it kept looking at the almost sixty pictures of Venerable White over and over again. Every time it saw a picture, a blissful look would appear on its face.

“This is awesome, just like paradise,” True Monarch White Crane muttered.

When True Monarch Yellow Mountain saw what happened, goosebumps appeared on his arms—sometimes, he felt that hardcore fans could be rather scary, because one wouldn’t even know if their fans would enlarge one’s pictures and hang them onto their wall, staring at them while fantasizing.

“Ahem, White Crane, you came all the way here just to be added to the group?” asked True Monarch Yellow Mountain. If it really wanted to be added to the group, it could have just called or sent a thousand mile sound transmission.

“Of course it’s not as simple as just joining the group,” True Monarch White Crane said with a serious look on its face. “The main reason why I came here is to report about the aftermath of the previous matter that I dealt with for Senior White.”

“The previous matter? Oh, are you talking about the incident regarding Instructor Li Xihua? Don’t tell me there are new developments?” True Monarch Yellow Mountain thought of that flight Instructor.

“It’s not just the Instructor Li Xihua’s incident, there’s also the issue regarding the space station. There aren’t many developments, and I have already dealt with the matter appropriately.” True Monarch White Crane sighed with emotion as it said, “Instructor Li Xihua’s issue was rather easy to deal with. Even though he was on air on national television, as long as the astronaut Anthony safely went back, I could use the media and officials to spread the message and erase all issues caused by Instructor Li Xihua’s appearance bit by bit. Hence, the Western community assumed that Instructor Li Xihua’s appearance was a one-time collaboration with the Chinese. Speaking of which, after he got brought back by you guys, how did it go?”

True Monarch Yellow Mountain shrugged and said, “Recently, I was preparing to increase my realm—I had no time to concern myself with Instructor Li Xihua. But according to Zhou Li’s report, Venerable White erased his memories once more and sent him back to the aviation training center. Later on, I sent someone to take care of him, allowing him to get back on track and help him live an ordinary life… there shouldn’t be any huge problems.”

The person he sent to take care of Li Xihua was an expert at cleaning up the mess made by others— he was of the same rank as Zhou Li. Every time one of his fellow daoist friends stirred some trouble, he would send that subordinate to deal with it—for example, not long ago, when a fellow daoist came out of secluded meditation, he destroyed nineteen monster beasts called ‘cars’. It was that subordinate who settled everything perfectly back then.

“That’s good… but the memories of Instructor Li Xihua got erased too many times in such a short period of time. For all you know, it might have a huge impact on his brain. I don’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse, it will have to depend on his own fortune. Also, I had been dealing with the huge hole in the space station recently, and it took me much effort to fix it. Both incidents have been resolved perfectly, I’m going to prepare to report everything to Senior White,” True Monarch White Crane said while clenching its fist.

It had repeatedly brought up the thought of reporting that incident to Senior White, it seemed like it was doing it to boost its own morale?

True Monarch Yellow Mountain secretly rolled his eyes—he had seen through it. White Crane wanted to find an excuse to get closer to Venerable White but did not dare to approach the latter either, hence it was in a dilemma.

I have to send this guy away, or it would definitely stay in my immortal cave and create trouble for me.

“Hurry and go!” True Monarch Yellow Mountain thus said in a serious manner. “You are just reporting details of what happened, you got this, you can definitely get it done well!”

True Monarch White Crane happily said to True Monarch Yellow Mountain, “You think so too?”

“Of course, you have dealt with the incident very well; for all you know, Venerable White might even praise you.” True Monarch Yellow Mountain used all his strength to pat True Monarch White Crane’s shoulder—cheap people were usually difficult to deal with!

Indeed, it was better to send him to Venerable White’s place. Or else, if it were to linger in his immortal cave and get in his way, how would he train in peace to increase his realm?

“Then… then I will go look for Senior White!” True Monarch White Crane’s wings trembled with excitement.

True Monarch Yellow Mountain once again used all his strength to pat White Crane’s shoulder and said, “Get going, you’ll succeed.”

Hence, True Monarch White Crane put its tablet away and flapped its wings, happily flying away from True Monarch Yellow Mountain’s immortal cave.

True Monarch Yellow Mountain secretly heaved a sigh of relief.

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On the other side, on the small island in the East China Sea.

Venerable White had not logged into the instant messaging program. He was currently setting up some trap formations near the island, which were used to prevent enemies from escaping.

His targets were the disciples of the former Thirty-Three Divine Beasts’ Sect. As the saying went, even a wrecked boat had three nails still holding. For all you knew, those disciples of the Thirty-Three Divine Beasts’ Sect might have some magical treasures or techniques to escape in their possession… Venerable White planned to catch all of them in one go, not letting a single person run away.

On the island, Immortal Master Copper Trigram stacked up an altar with stones, looking very mysterious. Song Shuhang could not decipher what he was up to.

Hence, a bored Song Shuhang brought Doudou and the small monk to take a look at Miss Chu Chu.

After applying the paste, Miss Chu Chu once again entered a deep slumber… she looked a lot better now—unlike before when her facial expression was twisted in pain. From the looks of it, the effects of Medicine Master’s paste were legit and superb.

Since Miss Chu Chu was still sleeping, Song Shuhang did not want to bother her.

“Let’s go, Doudou, little Guoguo. Let’s try to build a small house or something—from the looks of it, it might be possible that we’ll have to spend the night on this island,” said Song Shuhang.

Venerable White was determined to acquire the secret technique of the ‘Thirty-Three Divine Beasts’ Sect’, and it was not known when Wolf One and company would arrive. It might even be possible that they’d actually rush over only by tomorrow.

In any case, he had to try to set up a place that was decent enough for people to stay in. He did not want to use the ground as his bed and the sky as his blanket and spend the night in the outdoors.

The small monk Guoguo asked, “Senior Brother Shuhang, you know how to build a house?”

“I don’t…” Song Shuhang shrugged his shoulders.

Doudou the pekingese laughed coldly. “You’re too useless! Watch me!”

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Five minutes later.

Doudou perfectly built an exquisite… little doghouse. Thereafter, it reduced its physical size and comfortably entered the cozy dog shelter.

“Saw that? It is a must-learn skill for running away from home—one has to learn how to build a nesting place so that you can shelter yourself from the rain and not be afraid of strong winds or the harsh sun. So… do you wanna try coming in? Even though it’s kinda small, I’ve laid hay on the ground—it’s very comfortable,” said Doudou with a straight face while inside the doghouse.

Song Shuhang was speechless.

Doudou, come out, I promise I won’t beat you!

At this time, Immortal Master Copper Trigram pulled his handcart, approaching from afar. From the looks of it, he had already finished stacking the stones?

After approaching them, he asked, “Little friend Shuhang, what are you up to?”

Song Shuhang explained, “We want to set up a place to sleep since we might end up spending the night here.”

Immortal Master Copper Trigram touched his chin and said, “I see, if you want a place to rest, perhaps I can provide you with some good stuff.”

As he was speaking, he turned around and fished around in his handcart.

Very soon, he pulled out several large tents. “Here, make do with this. After opening it up, the tent will become quite big. There’s even an inflatable bed inside—good enough for you to comfortably spend the night.”

“Senior, your timely assistance is awesome! I like it!” Song Shuhang gave him a thumbs up—speaking of which, where did his habit of giving thumbs up come from? In the past he never had such a habit, could he have picked it up on the mysterious island?

Anyway, Immortal Master Copper Trigram’s current look coupled with his clothes and handcart… made him look like a street peddler instead of a fortune teller!

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With Immortal Master Copper Trigram’s help, Song Shuhang and the small monk managed to set up four big tents very quickly.

As for Doudou… he had his doghouse. Not good, he could still squeeze into the tent with the small monk.

After setting up the tent, Song Shuhang casually asked, “Is Senior White still setting up formations?”

“He finished a long time ago. Now, he seemed to be sitting in meditation, resting while waiting for the other party to arrive. You guys should also take a good rest, I will go deeper into the island and see if I can hunt an animal or two,” said Immortal Master Copper Trigram while smiling.

“Sorry for troubling you.” Song Shuhang touched his tummy; he was indeed hungry. Even though he brought the fasting pills along with him on this trip, whenever he was hungry, eating something would make him feel much more satiated.

Immortal Master Copper Trigram coming to the island definitely saved them!

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Immortal Master Copper Trigram went hunting, and Doudou was playing around with the small monk at the side.

Song Shuhang went into the tent and suddenly thought of something—ever since he left the mysterious island, he had lost his memories. Then, what about Lady Onion, who was growing on top of the enlightenment stone?

Lady Onion is in the form of a plant at the moment, perhaps she might have retained her memories?

After thinking of that possibility, he hurriedly looked for the enlightenment stone.

“Lady Onion, do you still have any memory of your time on the mysterious island… eh? Lady Onion, Lady Onion, what happened to you?!” When Song Shuhang touched the enlightenment stone, he realized that the tender shoot that Lady Onion had grown out with much difficulty got plucked out by someone.

Right now, all she had left was half of her tender shoot. She looked very pitiful.

The small onion spirit on the enlightenment stone shook the remaining half of its body and seemed to have woken up from a deep slumber. After a long time, she moaned in pain. “Ouch, it’s painful.”

“Eh, Lady Onion, you can speak now? Speaking of which, what’s up with you, who cut off your shoots? Also, as for your memories on the mysterious island—do you still remember anything?” Song Shuhang asked anxiously.

“The mysterious island?” Lady Onion’s body wriggled, and she asked puzzledly, “What kind of place is it? Are there nice things to eat there?”

Song Shuhang was speechless.

Indeed, one could not harbor any fantasies about the stupid onion—from the very start, this onion was not reliable at all!

As for her tender green onion shoots, could it be that someone plucked it out to cook it?

The half of Lady Onion’s body shook for a long time, and it suddenly reacted. “Ouch, it’s so painful. Where did my green onion shoot go to? Dammit. Song Shuhang, did you pluck it out to eat it?”

Song Shuhang was speechless.

He really wanted to know what was up with Lady Onion’s reaction time—wasn’t it too long? He suspected that if he told a joke to Lady Onion, she might take half an hour to react to it.

“I couldn’t have possibly plucked the shoots and ate it, I just asked you where did your shoots go!” said Song Shuhang with frustration—he wasn’t entirely sure because his memories about the mysterious island were lost. Maybe he really did pluck the shoots on the mysterious island and ate them… He had opened his Mouth Aperture so suddenly when he clearly only opened his Ear Aperture not long before he went to the mysterious island.

If there wasn’t any opportunity, even with the support of sufficient qi and blood pills, opening his Mouth Aperture would require approximately a year to succeed. One had to know that even the simplest Heart Aperture required a hundred days to build its foundation.

Lady Onion wriggled her body and doubtfully asked, “Strange, why don’t I remember anything?”

From the looks of it, the silly onion also lost her memories.

Song Shuhang sighed and put Lady Onion back into his pocket.

When he put her back into his pocket, suddenly, he touched something that seemed like a small paper wrapper within his pocket.

Thereafter, Song Shuhang took it out—it looked like the paper used to wrap small pills in hospitals. It must have been one of the loots from the mysterious island since he had absolutely no impression of it.

Hence, he opened it to look out of curiosity.

In the paper wrapper, there was nothing except for a small chunk of a lush and green onion shoot.

Song Shuhang was speechless.

I could not have really plucked it out on the mysterious island, right?