Cultivation Chat Group (Web Novel)

Translator: GodBrandy | Editor: Kurisu

Palace Master Seven Lives Talisman: “After hearing the song, I feel as though someone has sucked the soul out of my body… even the nearby natives are foaming at the mouth… Let’s cast a vote! Kick Dharma King Creation from the group +1!”

Fairy Lychee: “I almost died. Dammit, I was riding my flying sword and almost fell from the sky while heading toward the Jiangnan area… let’s cast a vote! Kick Dharma King Creation from the group +2!”

True Monarch Ancient Lake Temple: “Same here. I almost crashed into a mountain peak! Let’s cast a vote! Kick Dharma King Creation from the group +3!”

Cave Lord Snow Wolf: “Even more importantly… has Dharma King Creation started his live broadcast already? If that’s the case, has the end of the world started? Two million people should be already listening to his song.”

When the bright moon appears: “That’s simply scary!”

True Monarch Fallout: “Don’t worry. This time, the disciples of the ‘Warring Buddha Sect’ did thorough preparations to make sure that no one dies. However, the majority of the audience will still inevitably end up in hospitals.”

True Monarch Ancient Lake Temple: “I feel bad for the Warring Buddha Sect.”

Northern River’s Loose Cultivator: “I wonder who gave Dharma King Creation the wicked idea of starting a live broadcast in the first place.”

Tyrant Flood Dragon wants to father a football team: “Let’s say no to both noise pollution and Dharma King Creation and bring peace in this place. When I turned my phone on earlier, a lot of the nearby seafood died after hearing the song. I wonder for how many days one can keep eating all these fishes, shrimps, and seashells. If there is any fellow daoist that wants to eat seafood, now is the time.”

“You can give some of it to me.” Then, Fairy Lychee also added, “I see ambulances everywhere out here… it seems they prepared beforehand this time. They should be very efficient while saving people. Anyway, let’s not divert our attention from the main topic. Let’s kick Dharma King Creation, or Senior Yellow Mountain can look when the ‘instant messaging program’ will release a new feature to ban certain users from sending voice messages so that we can stop Dharma King Creation from sending another voice message.”

True Monarch Yellow Mountain wrote after a long pause: “i’m exhausted”

The fact that there was no punctuation or upper case in the message fully explained how exhausted True Monarch Yellow Mountain was at this time.

True Monarch Yellow Mountain felt that it had become rather tiring to manage this group. At intervals of a few days, the fellow daoists of the group would do something that would make him feel depressed. Fairy Dongfang Snow was still muted and in punishment for what she did the last time, but Fellow Daoist Creation still dared to send songs in the group… should he directly delete the group and put an end to everything?

But returning back on topic, since when had the members of the Nine Provinces Number One Group started to seek death so openly?

After thinking about it for a while, he remembered that everything started after he added a certain person to the group.

Of course, the person he was thinking about wasn’t little friend Song Shuhang. Little friend Song Shuhang had been very well behaved after he joined the group, and one couldn’t truly blame him for that matter related to Senior White’s expression package. Moreover, he was still very young.

Anyway, True Monarch Yellow Mountain remembered that everything started after a certain person called ‘Thrice Reckless Mad Saber’ got added to the group. The whole Nine Provinces Number One Group quickly changed after he joined.

As expected, this death-seeking behavior was contagious, and its infectivity rate was very high.

Thereupon, True Monarch Yellow Mountain said earnestly in the group, “Alternatively, how about kicking Thrice Reckless Mad Saber first?”

In Medicine Master’s house.

Riverly Purple Mist raised her phone and moved it in front of Thrice Reckless Mad Saber’s eyes.

“Why?!” Thrice Reckless Mad Saber called out. “I didn’t even say anything recently! It was obviously Dharma King Creation that started singing, why am I suffering the consequences?! Miss Purple Mist, tell that stupid Yellow Mountain that Thrice Reckless Mad Saber absolutely refuses to accept this decision!”

Riverly Purple Mist nodded and quickly typed on the phone.

Medicine Master: “This is Fellow Daoist Thrice Reckless’ reply: ‘Tell that stupid Yellow Mountain that Thrice Reckless Mad Saber absolutely refuses to accept this decision!’ PS: I’m Riverly Purple Mist.”

“…” True Monarch Yellow Mountain.

He felt stifled, just as though he was suffocating.

Medicine Master: “True Monarch Yellow Mountain, do you feel stifled?”

“…” True Monarch Yellow Mountain.

Medicine Master: “In that case, I’ll send True Monarch the cure.”

After saying this much, Riverly Purple Mist evilly smiled and started taking pictures of Thrice Reckless Mad Saber. She first turned the dumpling version Thrice Reckless Mad Saber upside down and caused him to hang from the ceiling of the house. To make him even more handsome, she made him wear a pair of sunglasses and put a sheep’s-horn braids wig on his head, with the braids pointing upward.

“Miss Purple Mist, what are you doing? Stop! We can peacefully solve this situation, no need to harm each other!” Thrice Reckless Mad Saber said anxiously.

Riverly Purple Mist faintly smiled and stretched her finger, sending the pictures to the Nine Provinces Number One Group.

“…” True Monarch Yellow Mountain.

Seeing Thrice Reckless Mad Saber hanging upside down made him feel good at first, but for some reason, he felt even more depressed afterward.

From the looks of it, even Riverly Purple Mist had been infected by Thrice Reckless, she was giving signs of heading toward the death-seeking path!

Perhaps it was really the time to delete this group and put an end to everything!

❄️❄️❄️

By the time Gao Moumou regained consciousness, it was already noon.

Gao Moumou rubbed his temples and asked in puzzlement, “What happened to me?”

Right at this time, his girlfriend Yayi came over while holding the meal and smiled sweetly.

Soon after, Song Shuhang also entered the room and said, “Old Gao, you finally woke up. Anyway, yesterday, Great Master and you pulled an all-nighter to finish the script of the movie. Then, just as we were choosing the actors for the supporting roles, you fell asleep, possibly because you were too tired.”

“Eh? Is that the case?” Gao Moumou said while rubbing his temples.

There was something wrong with this situation! He was very young, and let alone an all-nighter, even if he didn’t sleep for two days and two nights, nothing bad would happen to him.

In addition, he got to eat a lot of food that strengthened his constitution and increased his energy at Yu Jiaojiao’s place. At this time, even the muscles of his body were all well-defined. His condition was so good that it couldn’t be any better. He felt that he could stay awake for four or five days straight without any problem. Therefore, how could a mere all-nighter cause him to fall asleep? It made no sense!

He felt that there was something amiss.

Gao Moumou pushed his glasses up, with the lens refracting rays of wisdom. Then, he closely watched his friend Song Shuhang, somewhat confused as to what was going on.

However, what Song Shuhang said next made him completely forget about this matter.

Song Shuhang said, “Gao Moumou, Jacob’s Production Team is already here. Director Jacob is currently discussing the script of the movie with Great Master. The other members of the movie crew are done with their break and are preparing for the shooting. Since you woke up, how about seeing Director Jacob together and discussing things with him?”

“Sure!” Gao Moumou immediately got out of bed. He felt that his whole body was brimming with energy.

But right at this time, Yayi smiled and gave him the food, and a resolute look appeared in her eyes.

Song Shuhang laughed and said, “Old Gao, you should eat first. Food makes people strong. Look for me once you are done eating. I’ll bring you to Director Jacob.”

Gao Moumou glanced at his girlfriend and forced a smile, saying, “Good.”

❄️❄️❄️

Song Shuhang left Gao Moumou’s room and glanced at the rear of the house through the window.

Sword lights that ordinary people couldn’t see were continuously landing back there.

Fairy Lychee, True Monarch Ancient Lake Temple, Cave Lord Snow Wolf, and other fellow daoists of the Nine Provinces Number One Group had already arrived.

Now then, would Dharma King Creation also come over? After all, he sent a five minutes long voice message of his live broadcast in the group not too long ago!

Wouldn’t the various fellow daoists of the group gang up on him and beat him up for good if he were to come?

In the meantime, in the living room.

Director Jacob and his assistants were currently discussing the plot with Great Master Swallow Cloud.

Then, there was that subordinate of Venerable Spirit Butterfly that was now handing over the employment contracts of the director and movie crew, as well as their life insurance, to Venerable White.

After seeing that Song Shuhang was coming over, Venerable White waved at him.

“Senior White, is something the matter?” Song Shuhang asked.

Venerable White gave all the contracts and other materials to Song Shuhang, saying earnestly, “It’s better if little friend Shuhang deals with this matter.”

“So you are Mister Song Shuhang. You look very young and promising.” Venerable Spirit Butterfly’s subordinate shook hands with Song Shuhang with a radiant smile on his face.

While shaking hands, he said via secret sound transmission, “Mister Song, Venerable Spirit Butterfly sent me here to help you deal with the various small problems that might arise while shooting the movie. If the movie crew needs some equipment or has to make dealings with the people owning a certain place and similar things, you can leave this stuff to me. Mister Song, you just have to concentrate on shooting the movie!”

“Please, thank Mister Spirit Butterfly in my stead,” Song Shuhang said with a smile.

“Venerable Spirit Butterfly has just one request… to finish the shooting as soon as possible. If you need equipment, funds, or manpower during the shooting, you just have to ask,” Venerable Spirit Butterfly’s subordinate kept saying via secret sound transmission.

Song Shuhang was a bit confused and likewise said via secret sound transmission, “Why is Senior Spirit Butterfly in such a hurry?”

“According to the rumors, Venerable Spirit Butterfly wants to personally accompany the young lady to see Mister Song’s movie once she’s done transcending her tribulation. Since the young lady is looking forward to watching this movie, Mister Song has to do a good job with the shooting. We are also looking forward to it!” Venerable Spirit Butterfly’s subordinate replied.

“So that’s how it was.” Song Shuhang nodded. It seemed that his beloved daughter had made Venerable Spirit Butterfly impatient. “You can leave things to me and don’t need to worry about a thing. I’ll finish shooting the movie as soon as possible!”

Now, they only had to wait for all the seniors of the Nine Provinces Number One Group to arrive and use large immortal boats to bring the actors and the members of the crew to Venerable White’s holiday residence to start shooting the first act of the movie.

[Senior Brother Gao Sheng beating up the main character, Ling Ye.]

And Shuhang just happened to be playing Senior Brother Gao Sheng’s role!

Song Shuhang lowered his head and looked at the life insurance contracts of the director and various actors.

Should I get life insurance as well?

Just as Song Shuhang was in deep thoughts, a voice echoed in his ears. “Eh? Benefactor, what are you doing here?”

The sound was clear and smooth.

Song Shuhang turned his head around and saw the familiar face of the western monk foolishly smiling at him.

The head of the western monk was still bald and dazzling, with uniform burn marks on it. However, he was unexpectedly wearing a beautiful daoist robe, looking neither a buddhist nor a daoist.

“Great Master, it’s you!” Song Shuhang faintly smiled and said, “How come you are wearing a daoist robe?”

The western monk laughed and said, “It can’t be helped. After all, my teacher is a daoist!”