Cultivation Chat Group (Web Novel)

[System Notification: Northern River’s Loose Cultivator has been muted by the group’s founder, True Monarch Yellow Mountain, for 10 minutes.]

Immortal Master Copper Trigram: “Wahahahaha, I laughed so hard that I almost choked! Northern River also got his share this time!”

In the next moment, Immortal Master Copper Trigram sent a password-protected red envelope in the Nine Provinces Number One Group, with the password being: ‘Stupid Northern River, since you have been muted, look at the cool me as I flood the chat group!’

“Ding, ding, ding~” The members of the Nine Provinces Number One Group started to redeem Immortal Master Copper Trigram’s password-protected red envelope one after another.

Fairy Lychee: “Stupid Northern River, since you have been muted, look at the cool me as I flood the chat group!”

Island Master Tian Tiankong: “Stupid Northern River, since you have been muted, look at the cool me as I flood the chat group!”

Then, it was the turn of Vice-Island Master Tian Tianwei, Fairy Firefly, Celestial Fish Envoy (Yu Jiaojiao), Palace Master Seven Lives Talisman, and so on to redeem the password-protected red envelope, flooding the Nine Provinces Number One Group while they were doing so.

Northern River’s Loose Cultivator gazed at the screen of the phone getting flooded with text and gritted his teeth. Since he had been muted, there was nothing he could do to counterattack. His liver was in great pain at this time.

Once the members of the group finished redeeming the red envelope, the group finally returned to normality.

But right at this time, Sun Splitting Halberd Guo Da suddenly popped out, and wrote: “Is Doudou online?”

Fairy Dongfang Six: “Little Doudou should be still at little friend Song Shuhang’s place, sleeping.”

Sun Splitting Halberd Guo Da: “At little friend Shuhang’s place? Doudou didn’t sit for the whole night in front of the computer yesterday?”

Fairy Dongfang Six: “No. According to what he said, he helped his second wife with a guild war, and then ran to little friend Song Shuhang’s place.”

Sun Splitting Halberd Guo Da: “…”

Since Doudou wasn’t online, what was he waiting for?

Sun Splitting Halberd Guo Da: “This is a good opportunity. Look at my— [Picture of a cute puppy]!”

But right at this time, ‘Heaven Shrouding Hook’ Zhou Li suddenly appeared, and wrote: “I was just waiting for you, combo breaker— [Picture of the head of a dog being furiously rubbed]! Your dog head rubbing combo was… broken!”

Sun Splitting Halberd Guo Da: “[Picture of the head of a dog being furiously rubbed]!”

Sun Splitting Halberd Guo Da: “…Zhou Li, you bastard! You are unexpectedly helping that evildoer?”

‘Heaven Shrouding Hook’ Zhou Li: “Ahaha, Senior Guo Da, I’m very sorry~ Doudou said that he wouldn’t bother me for one whole month if I break your ‘dog head rubbing’ combo. Therefore, I ask Senior Guo Da to forgive me!”

His life-long happiness with Fairy Ouyang Yuan from the White Cloud Academy was at stake here. As such, Zhou Li was going to stop this ‘dog head rubbing’ combo at all costs!

True Monarch Yellow Mountain: “…”

His liver sure was in pain! As expected, it was better to go to Medicine Master’s place as soon as possible and get some medicinal pill for cultivators to treat the liver.

Sun Splitting Halberd Guo Da: “True Monarch Yellow Mountain, can’t you marry off Doudou already? Quickly marry him off so that his husband can educate him for good!”

True Monarch Yellow Mountain faintly sighed, and switched his phone off—out of sight, out of mind.

At this time, True Monarch Yellow Mountain held by the waist a graceful fairy maiden. It was Fairy Dongfang Snow, that fairy maiden that sought death continuously and wanted to upload Doudou’s ‘Song of the Stupid Yellow Mountain’ to the Nine Provinces Number One Group.

Although Fairy Dongfang Snow kept running for whole two days, True Monarch Yellow Mountain still managed to catch her in the end.

True Monarch Yellow Mountain lowered his head, and glanced at Fairy Dongfang Snow, saying, “Have you straightened out your thinking?”

Fairy Dongfang Snow stretched out her hand and stroked the hair behind her ear. Even if Yellow Mountain was grabbing her by the waist at this time, she still maintained the graceful and refined manner of a young lady. “Yes, I have.”

“In that case, delete all the copies of ‘that song’ in your possession. It doesn’t matter if we are talking about mobile phones, computers, hard disks, USB drives, MP3s, MP4s, cloud services, or other sharing services… delete it from everywhere!” True Monarch Yellow Mountain said in a grave tone.

Fairy Dongfang Snow pouted her lips, and said, “Tsk, Senior Yellow Mountain is truly bad. You have been investigating me in secret, haven’t you? You actually knew that I saved that song in so many places!”

What, this girl really saved it in so many places? Blue veins suddenly appeared on True Monarch Yellow Mountain’s forehead. “Are you going to delete it or not?”

“I will delete it, I will delete it…” Dongfang Snow said weakly. “I already know that song by heart, and I can even recite it backward. What, you don’t believe me? Should I sing it for you once?”

True Monarch Yellow Mountain felt that his liver was aching again.

What had happened to his Nine Provinces Number One Group lately?

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Early in the morning, around 4:30 AM.

As before, Young Master Phoenix Slayer wasn’t giving any sign of breaking out of his cocoon, and Venerable White was still sleeping.

Doudou lazily rolled on Song Shuhang’s bed, while Yu Jiaojiao lay on her stomach and played with her phone. True Monarch White Crane was resting its chin in its hand, gazing at Venerable White’s cocoon with a bright red face. It was unknown what it was thinking.

Song Shuhang and Ye Si sat side by side. Ye Si was telling him the contents of yesterday’s chat with Fairy Lychee.

But right at this time, someone knocked on the door of Song Shuhang’s room.

“Little friend Shuhang, are you inside?” It was the voice of the Senior Creation, the Soul King.

“Yes, I’ll open the door in a second.” Song Shuhang got up, and headed toward the door to open it.

After opening the door, Dharma King Creation’s radiant smile appeared before him; there was also Great Master Swallow Cloud behind him.

Song Shuhang asked in puzzlement, “Senior Creation, Senior Swallow Cloud, is something the matter?”

“Ahaha, it’s like this… recently, I have been invited to perform in a world tour and sing all over the world. Therefore, it’s very likely that I’ll set out in a few days and travel all around the world to sing.” Dharma King Creation laughed to his heart’s content, and continued, “Anyway, before leaving, I accepted Venerable Spirit Butterfly’s request to write the theme song of this movie and leave it to you. As for the other songs of the movie, I don’t have the time help you write them. However, I contacted a very good composer that will contact you in a short while.”

“Theme song?” Song Shuhang was extremely confused.

Great Master Swallow Cloud, who was standing in the rear, explained, “Little friend Shuhang, you don’t know? Brother Creation is a very accomplished composer and songwriter. The songs he writes are very well received.”Unfortunately, although Brother Creation is very good at writing songs, his voice is too magical for ordinary people!

Song Shuhang: ?

He just couldn’t believe it. Senior Creation, the Soul King, was actually good at writing songs?

Dharma King Creation sighed with emotion, and said, “It’s a shame that there isn’t enough time. Otherwise, I would have liked singing this theme song personally. Had I sung it personally, it would have added a nice touch to the movie!”

“…” Song Shuhang.

Senior Creation, harming the audience of your live broadcast wasn’t enough? Now, you want to extend your evil clutches to the audience of the movie? Senior, have some mercy!

“Alright, enough with the jokes. I’ll give this to you. It’s the theme song I wrote. At the appointed time, you should look for the fairy maidens of the group and have them sing this song once to see which one sings it better.” Dharma King Creation left a bag to Song Shuhang. Inside was a notebook that had the size of an A4 paper.

Song Shuhang received the bag, and said, “Got it. Senior Creation, you went through a lot of trouble.”

Dharma King Creation laughed, and said with a smile, “It was no effort at all. Anyway, see you later, little friend Shuhang. Wait for the rebroadcast of my world tour, alright?”

“Sure, sure.” Song Shuhang continuously nodded his head. From the looks of it, the ‘Warring Buddha Sect’ had already followed Great Master Swallow Cloud’s suggestion, and decided to send Dharma King Creation abroad.

Now then, would an international dispute start as soon as Dharma King Creation was finished with his world tour?

As for that ‘rebroadcast’, he absolutely didn’t want to watch it!

❄️❄️❄️

After Dharma King Creation and Great Master Swallow Cloud left, Song Shuhang opened that big notebook, and gave it a look.

As expected, Dharma King Creation was very good at writing songs; his skills were first-class. The theme song was very good and tailor-made for the movie Gao Moumou had written.

Once the sun was up, he would make several copies of this theme song, and give the lyrics to the various fairy maidens of the Nine Provinces Number One Group, giving the task to sing to the one that sang it best.

Song Shuhang closed the notebook, and returned it inside the bag. Then, just as he was putting the notebook back in the bag, he saw that there was also a newspaper inside.

Song Shuhang took the newspaper out of curiosity.

It was a copy of the famous ‘Daily Cultivator’ of two days ago.

From the looks of it, it was something that Dharma King Creation had bought, and he casually put in this bag with the notebook after he finished reading it.

Song Shuhang got curious, and opened the newspaper, starting to flip through it.

He had already heard about the ‘Daily Cultivator’ several times in the Nine Provinces Number One Group. In addition, it was the ‘Daily Cultivator’ that was in charge of broadcasting the hand-guided tractor competition back then.

The lead story from two days ago was related to Great Master Profound Principle’s ‘Faraway Wandering Temple’. The news was about the accident that took place in the ‘Jingang Immortal Cave’. At that time, the aura of the Netherworld Realm started to leak out of the heart-tempering ancient well, and even demons came out of it. Song Shuhang was also on the scene back then.

The senior monks of the Faraway Wandering Temple had already sealed the place, but it was unknown when the Jingang Immortal Cave would be opened to the public again.

The reporter of the Daily Cultivator didn’t exaggerate things, nor make wild guesses, and sought the truth from facts. This was one of the reasons the Daily Cultivator was the bestselling newspaper in the world of cultivators.

The newspaper also covered various other matters that had taken place in the world of cultivators.

For example, the established ‘True Monarch Seven Lightnings’ from the ‘Purple Lightning Hall’ had managed to successfully break through, transcending his tribulation and advancing to the Seventh Stage Spiritual Venerable Realm, becoming ‘Venerable Seven Lightnings’. Since his lifespan was almost over, this old True Monarch had entered into a state of deep meditation in the hope of breaking through. After so many years, everyone thought that he had died already, but little did they expect that he would break through in that hopeless situation and become a Venerable.

For example, the ‘Soul King’ Dharma King Creation of the Warring Buddha Sect had again started a broadcast, and sent to the hospital even more curious spectators.

For example, Immortal Fairy Bie Xue had made her appearance, and announced the list of ingredients still needed for this year’s Immortal Feast. As long as one could provide some of the ingredients on the list, they would be able to get an invitation to the Immortal Feast.

After reading the news, Song Shuhang remembered that he still had a ‘blank’ invitation card to the Immortal Feast with him.

Next, Song Shuhang saw another news that piqued his interest.

The fifth generation disciple of the Extreme Cliff Sect, ‘Iron Wall’ Li Jiatu, raised a middle-rank ghost spirit for the past half a year, and tried to follow the ‘love contract’ route to contract the ghost spirit. He constantly stayed together with the ghost spirit in order to cultivate their feelings so that the ghost spirit would form a contract with him on its own. It was regrettable that a man of iron like ‘Iron Wall’ Li Jiatu didn’t conform to the tastes of the ghost spirit. His charm was insufficient, and the ghost spirit ran away a few days ago. Luckily, the Extreme Cliff Sect is full of defensive formations, and the ghost spirit didn’t run far before getting captured. Now, ‘Iron Wall’ Li Jiatu abandoned the love contract route and decided to subdue the ghost spirit with his fists and form a contract that way.