Cultivation Chat Group (Web Novel)

Chapter 892: Scholar Drunken *oon’s stupid cultivation technique

Translator: GodBrandy Editor: Kurisu

Perhaps because Song Shuhang’s disguise was pretty good, no one discovered his real identity as he looked for a registration point, completing his registration. No one started yelling ‘Senior Brother Gao Sheng must die’ and other similar sentences.

Although the staff member was giving him strange looks due to him wearing sunglasses and a flu mask, he wasn’t a police officer. His only job was to accept the money and check if it was real.

Song Shuhang paid the tuition and left his signature right next to his name. After that, he left the registration point.

Now that I’ve dealt with the registration thing, I’ll head back home and wait for Senior Drunken Goon’s flying sword to come over. Then, I’ll wait for Ye Si to return , Song Shuhang thought to himself.

In addition, he also had to wait for Senior White so that they could head to the forbidden city together and enjoy the great battle between Northern River’s Loose Cultivator and Immortal Master Copper Trigram.

September 1st, 2019. As always, little friend Song Shuhang was very busy.

Just as Song Shuhang was preparing to return to his dwelling, his mobile phone suddenly rang. It was an unknown number.

Song Shuhang picked up the phone. “Hello.”

“Hello, are you Fellow Daoist Thrice Reckless Song?” A hoarse voice came from the other end.

Song Shuhang was speechless.

What the hell is this Thrice Reckless Song?! Do you really think I won’t hang up and blacklist you on the spot?!

Seeing that Song Shuhang didn’t reply even after a while, the man with the hoarse voice said, “Eh? Did I call the wrong number? Actually, wait a moment… Oh, I confused the name. Sorry, am I talking to Fellow Daoist Tyrannical Saber Song One?”

“Yes, it’s me,” Song Shuhang replied.

“Ahahaha, it’s just that I was having fun with my wife earlier, and I was a little muddleheaded. Forgive me, Fellow Daoist Thrice Song.” The man with the hoarse voice laughed wildly.

The corner of Song Shuhang’s mouth twitched. His finger had already started to wriggle, ready to hang up.

First, he mentioned—while talking to a stranger—that he was having fun with his wife, which was cruel to all the single dogs out there. Then… what the hell was that Thrice Song?!

The man with the hoarse voice continued, “Fellow Daoist Tyrannical Saber, it’s like this… I’m Cave Lord Snow Wolf’s younger cousin, Island Lord Moon Wolf. I recently committed a small crime in the United States, and was forced to escape and come back home. As such, I’m temporarily helping my cousin Cave Lord Snow Wolf run errands and take care of some matters.”

“Oh, it’s you!” Song Shuhang finally understood what was going on. Earlier, Cave Lord Snow Wolf had mentioned his younger cousin in the Nine Provinces Number One Group.

Cave Lord Snow Wolf was still busy helping Senior Skylark seal her body in a layer of ice. Therefore, he had temporarily left all the work to his younger cousin.

Venerable White had asked Cave Lord Snow Wolf to prepare something for him, probably some document.

Now, the order had been taken over by this Island Lord Moon Wolf.

“Eh? You know me?” Island Lord Moon Wolf asked out of curiosity.

Song Shuhang replied, “Yes, Cave Lord Snow Wolf mentioned you.”

“Ahahaha, my cousin didn’t say anything bad about me, right? For example, he surely didn’t talk about the crime recently I committed, right…?” Island Lord Moon Wolf said anxiously.

“Oh, are you talking about the crime you committed in the United States?” Song Shuhang said.

“How do you know about it?! Damn, my cousin sure likes to blabber. He exposed that shameful matter,” Island Lord Moon Wolf said, short of breath.

“…” Song Shuhang.

Expose your sister! Aren’t you the one that told me a moment ago that you committed a crime in the United States?

“My blabbermouth of a cousin didn’t go into the details of the crime I committed, right?” Island Lord Moon Wolf added.

“He didn’t.” The corner of Song Shuhang’s mouth twitched. Then, he asked thoughtlessly, “What crime did you commit in the United States?”

“Actually, it’s not a big deal, and it’s something pretty normal as far as I’m concerned. But I didn’t think that I would be breaking the law there,” Island Lord Moon Wolf said. “This matter made me lose a lot of face. Therefore, I can tell you about it, but you mustn’t tell it to others”!

“Alright,” Song Shuhang replied. The hoarse voice of the man sounded a little adorable at this moment.

Then, Island Lord Moon Wolf started abusing single dogs again. “This is something that happened about half a month ago… That day, like every morning, I was trying to make a small cub with my wife. My wife and I are monsters of the Fifth Stage, and we usually spend our time in human form. In the United States, making babies while in human form isn’t a crime. However, something unexpected happened that day…” Island Lord Moon Wolf continued, “Just as my wife and I were making a small wolf cub, my wife got too excited, and reverted back to her true form. Then, as coincidence would have it, a neighbor that was passing by happened to see the scene.”

“…” Song Shuhang.

Island Lord Moon Wolf continued, “Afterward, the police took me to the court and charged me with animal abuse. Luckily, I was quick-witted enough to use a clone made of wolf fur and dodge this calamity. After that, I escaped with my wife and returned to China.”

“…” Song Shuhang.

At this time, he was truly speechless. He really had no idea what he should say.

How was he supposed to ridicule this situation?

Should he ridicule the fact that Island Lord Moon Wolf and his wife were making a small wolf cub, or the laws of the foreign country?

Both sides were in the right, and there wasn’t much he could ridicule.

“Anyway, since you were looking for me, did you need something, Fellow Daoist Moon Wolf?” Song Shuhang asked. At first, he wanted to call him Senior Moon Wolf. But in the end, he was unable to associate the word ‘senior’ with him.

“Oh, it’s like this… I wanted you to send me your coordinates. I need to make a trip to Jiangnan University Town, but after searching on the Internet, I discovered that there are three ‘Jiangnan University Towns’ in China. So troublesome,” Island Lord Moon Wolf said.

After hearing these words, Song Shuhang was somewhat moved. “Senior Moon Wolf, do you need to do something in Jiangnan University Town? Like handling some certificates for Senior White?”

“It’s not for Senior White, but for True Monarch White Crane,” Island Lord Moon Wolf said with a smile. “It’s not really a secret. Therefore, I can tell you this much.”

True Monarch White Crane? Why was True Monarch White Crane coming to Jiangnan University Town? Was it possible that it got wind that Venerable White would live there for some time, and thus decided to come over and live close to Jiangnan University Town as well? Given True Monarch White Crane’s disposition, it was possible.

“I see. Fellow Daoist Moon Wolf, do you have my chat account number? You can add me to your friend list, and I’ll send you the coordinates,” Song Shuhang said.

“Thank you, Fellow Daoist Tyrannical Saber. You are a really good fellow daoist, always ready to help others. Asking you for help was the correct decision,” Island Lord Moon Wolf said happily with his hoarse voice.

Thereupon, they became friends and shared the location.

Song Shuhang discovered that he had done this matter more than once today.

When Song Shuhang returned home, Ye Si had yet to come back.

It was already noon at this time.

Guoguo and Zhu woke up, and came over in a daze. The two children had had fun until they were exhausted. According to what Shi had said, the duo played games all night during these days Song Shuhang had been unconscious. Unfortunately, the two of them weren’t as good as the pekingese Doudou when it came to playing games. Their teammates must have suffered a lot.

“Senior Brother Shuhang, you’ve finally regained consciousness.” The small monk rubbed his eyes and said, “I’m very hungry. What do we eat for lunch?”

“Yeah, what do we eat for lunch?” Loli Zhu likewise asked.

Song Shuhang glanced at Shi, who was temporarily in charge of taking care of the meals. She was currently engrossed in that movie, and had no way of freeing herself.

Given her current state, she was in no condition to cook.

“Forget it. Let’s just eat outside.” Song Shuhang sighed.

After lunch, Song Shuhang lay on the balcony and enjoyed some hard-to-come-by comfort.

The small monk Guoguo sat next to him, chanting his daily buddhist scriptures.

But right at this time, Soong Shuhang’s phone suddenly rang.

Song Shuhang unlocked the phone and looked at the screen. In the next moment, he discovered that it was a call from Scholar Drunken Goon.

“Oh, Senior Drunken Goon called. It seems that magical treasure has arrived.” Song Shuhang laughed, and picked up the phone.

This time, he was going to say the daoist name of that senior aloud.

That way, Senior Drunken Coon would be very happy.

“Senior Drunken Moone, has the flying sword arrived?” Song Shuhang asked.

“Ahahaha, little friend Shuhang guessed right. The flying sword has already arrived in your area, and the deviation is going to be around a hundred meters at most. You just have to look at the sky and shout my name with the AOE secret sound transmission method. The flying sword will immediately land next to you if you do that. Bye-bye~” Senior Drunken *oon said happily.

Aside from Northern River, little friend Song Shuhang was the second member of the group that was able to recall his name this quickly.

Although it was likely that little friend Song Shuhang had a memo on his phone with his name, he was very happy nonetheless!

Speaking of which, memos were such a good thing! As such, why weren’t the other fellow daoists of the Nine Provinces Number One Group using them?!

Why was it that difficult to write his daoist name, Drunken Moon, on a memo?

With the memo in hand, no problem would arise. What a bunch of idiots!

Since someone had created such a convenient thing, why not make use of it!

After hanging up, Song Shuhang got up and looked toward the sky.

The nearby Guoguo, who was sitting next to him and chanting buddhist scriptures, raised his head, and asked, “Senior Brother Shuhang, did something happen?”

“A flying sword came over to deliver something. It’s within a range of hundred meters from us. Oh, there it is!” Song Shuhang quickly found the flying sword in the sky.

Now, he only had to look at the flying sword and shout Scholar Drunken Goon’s name to make the flying sword descend.

Although he didn’t clearly remember the exact characters in the name of the scholar, it wasn’t a big deal, because he would obtain the same effect as long as the pronunciation was similar.

When he was on the phone, Senior Drunken Goon was unable to tell the difference. As such, how could a stupid flying sword tell the two names apart? In addition, even if those characters were different, their pronunciation was identical! Chinese characters were truly deep and profound.

Thereupon, Song Shuhang used the AOE secret sound transmission method to call out Scholar Drunken Goon’s name.

“Scholar Drunken Goon!”

However, the flying sword in the sky didn’t react.

Weird, it didn’t work?

“Scholar Drunken Coon?” Song Shuhang called out again.

However, the flying sword in the sky still didn’t react.

F*ck, even the most advanced voice recognition system should be unable to tell apart characters with the same pronunciation!

“Scholar Drunken Moone!” Song Shuhang continued with his attempts.

But the flying sword just ignored him.

Afterward, Song Shuhang tried several other combinations of Scholar Drunken *oon’s name, but none worked.

Is it possible that I remember the name incorrectly? Song Shuhang started to wonder.

No, that can’t be! When I read the memo and said ‘Senior Drunken Moone’, Senior ‘When the Bright Moon Appears’ seemed very happy!

As such, the pronunciation wasn’t wrong.

In that case, was it possible that Senior Drunken Goon had engraved the most advanced voice recognition formation on the flying sword so that only if one thought of his real ‘daoist name’ while shouting would the flying sword descend?

No, that was impossible! This was already in the mind-reading field. There was no way such a voice recognition system could exist!

“Senior Brother Shuhang, isn’t that senior called ‘Scholar Drunken Sun?” the small monk said at this time.

“His name definitely isn’t ‘Scholar Drunken Sun’. It has a pronunciation similar to Drunken *oon. I’m sure of it,” Song Shuhang said.

While saying this sentence, he didn’t use the secret sound transmission method.

But just as the words ‘Scholar Drunken Sun’ came out of his mouth…

The flying sword flew toward Song Shuhang like a swallow returning to its nest, descending next to him.

“…” Song Shuhang.

Just now, I said Scholar Drunken Sun, right? I said Drunken Sun, and not Drunken *oon!

Is it possible that… Scholar Drunken Goon himself made a mistake? That should be the case, right? After all, it should be impossible for him to get wrong his own daoist name, right…?

Just as he was in deep thought, Senior Drunken Soon called him again.

Song Shuhang picked up the phone, and said, “Senior Drunken Moone?”

“Yes, it’s me, ahaha. Little friend Shuhang, it’s truly great that you can still remember my name,” Scholar Drunken *oon said happily. “I wanted to tell you another thing. This flying sword is the one Northern River’s Loose Cultivator used the last time to send me something, and it stayed at my place since then. I heard that you are going to watch the great battle between Northern River’s Loose Cultivator and Immortal Master Copper Trigram tonight. Therefore, can you conveniently return this flying sword to Northern River’s Loose Cultivator while you are at it?”

“Sure, no problem, Senior Drunken Moone,” Song Shuhang said.

“That’s all. Goodbye.” Scholar Drunken *oon hung up, very satisfied.

Song Shuhang put his away his phone with a profound expression on his face.

He was now sure that the pronunciation of Scholar Drunken Goon’s daoist name was something similar to ‘Drunken *oon’, and definitely not ‘Drunken Sun’.

But the password of the flying sword turned out to be ‘Drunken Sun’…

In other words…

Scholar Drunken Soon had truly messed up this time.

If he kept practicing that stupid cultivation technique of his, not only would others forget his daoist name, but he himself would also forget it!

According to the rumors, people would be able to remember Scholar Drunken Soon’s daoist name only after he had advanced to the Eighth Stage Realm and shown his divinity in front of the masses.

But if Scholar Drunken Moone himself forgot his name before reaching the Eighth Stage Profound Sage Realm… there was a chance that he might really end up having weird names like Scholar Drunken Sun or Scholar Drunken Shrimp.

In the meantime, in the forbidden city.

Immortal Master Copper Trigram was strolling around after disguising himself as an ordinary traveler.

“That Northern River guy hasn’t made his appearance yet. He was able to keep his composure…” Immortal Master Copper Trigram said in a soft voice.

While speaking, he gently pressed on the three-piece magical treasure on his body.

This magical treasure was a three-piece set, and its main function was to suppress his realm, making him appear as an ordinary cultivator at the peak of the Fifth Stage Spiritual Emperor Realm.

Indeed, Immortal Master Copper Trigram was suppressing his strength, and his current realm had already reached the Sixth Stage True Monarch!

He had suppressed himself so long just for this day!

He wanted to reveal his real strength during the decisive battle with Northern River’s Loose Cultivator. The best thing would be to unleash his strength of the Sixth Stage just when Northern River’s Loose Cultivator thought he was going to win.

Every time he thought about the expression Northern River was going to have, Immortal Master Copper Trigram couldn’t help but chuckle inwardly.