Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

isn’t about me. I want to know the truth. How did Emma end up being Gunner’s mom?”

I sigh. I was dreading this question. Not because I don’t want to tell her what happened,

but

because I don’t want to remember the painful memories,

“Well, you know about my love for her from high school,” I start and she nods.

“Yes, definitely. Everyone knew it, just like everyone knew I wanted Rowan.”

This was so messed up. We both somehow ended up with the people we wanted, but in

the end, it

turned out to be a nightmare. Both of us got hurt really, fucking badly. Maybe we should

have

stayed away from them. It seems like Rowan and Emma were meant to be. It’s like Ava

and I got

punished for getting in the way of that.

“We’ll I tried everything to get her to notice me, but she never did. It wasn’t even possible

when

the person I had to compete against was Rowan. Like you said when we met again, I was

nerdy,

Cal. There was nothing S**y about me,” I began, but Ava interrupted me by chuckling.

“Have you seen yourself in glasses? You’re like a woman’s nerdy fantasy. You probably star

in

ladies dreams as either a hot professor or a librarian.”

I laugh at that despite mys

“Maybe now, but not back then. Emma was probably disgusted with me. I mean, come on,

even I

have to admit I looked terrible back then. I wouldn’t have wanted to date myself” I

continued.

“We finished high school, and in the summer before college, I decided to work on myself. It

took a

lot of effort, but I got to the point where I was actually proud of how I looked. I even

started getting

appreciative glances from girls.”

It had been the highlight of my life at that age. It felt good to be attractive. It felt fucking

great.

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“I joined college and continued working further on myself I became unrecognizable I

drowned in

college life. The girls, parties, and booze. Life was great. I had girls all over me. I had my

pick from a large pool. Soon, I started to forget about Emma. There was no use crying over

a girl that didn’t

want me when I could have someone else”

Ava nods her head in understanding. I know she didn’t enjoy college life. Not after she fell

pregnant at eighteen. She then became a mother and wife. She didn’t have time to be a

normal

college student with no worries or responsibilities. At least I got to have that experience

before

Emma appeared back in my life.

“Everything was going great until my grandfather had a stroke and became paralyzed. My

grandfather raised me after both my parents died in an accident. He was all that I had

given; I

didn’t know any other family member alive. I changed schools so that I could be closer to

him. It

was easier to take care of him that way”

Ava’s eyes widens as she swings her finger back and forth. “You transferred to the

university

Emma and Rowan were”

“Yeah.” I simply answer. “I saw them around campus, but unlike before, I kept my

distance. I

didn’t want trouble, and besides, I had a lot going on. I didn’t have any time for

meaningful

relationships except for hookups, and that was totally fine with me. I had locked my heart

after

Emma’s constant rejection. I wasn’t willing to let anyone in”

I still loved her, and it killed me seeing her and Rowan almost every day, but I accepted it.

She

simply didn’t want me. There was nothing I could do about that.

“My grandfather passed away, and it was the most challenging time of my fucking life. I

took a

few weeks off school only to come back to the news that the campus‘ IT couple had

broken up. I

honestly couldn’t belie Especially when I learned that Rowan had cheated on Emma. It was

honestly unbelievable.”

I never expected that. Everyone was sure of their love. Sure that they would stay together

and get

married. No one ever thought that Rowan would sleep with someone else.

“After that, Emma came back as a totally different person. It was like she was dead on the

inside.

The few times you saw her outside her dorm, she looked like a fucking zombie. I wanted to

comfort her, but I knew she wouldn’t let me near her. It was a coincidence that my project

partner

turned out to be her best friend and roommate.”

I didn’t want to be involved with anyone in Emma’s life. When Molly was assigned as my

partner, I

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My eyes shift to Ava She looks captivated Like she couldn’t even remove her eyes from

mine, even if she wanted to

“I tried to stay out of her way. I didn’t want to be a nuisance like I had been back in high

school ! realized you couldn’t force love and Emma definitely didn’t love me”

It had been a sad realization, but a much–needed one.

“You’re right,” Ava says sadly. “If only I’d realized that earlier, like you did. It would’ve

probably saved me from a lot of heartache.”

Grabbing her hand, I squeeze it. “Well, it didn’t work out for me… One day, out of the

blues, Emma showed up at my dorm room and kissed me. It was unexpected, but it was

the best kiss I’ve ever received. I thought it was a dream when she asked me to make love

to her, but it wasn’t. she actually wanted me”

I still remember that day like it was yesterday. She had been a virgin, and even though I’d

slept with countless girls, she had been by far the best. Probably because I had feelings

for her.

“I went to sleep thinking that finally it happened. That, finally she had noticed and wanted

to build something with me. Only I had been wrong. We woke up the next morning, and

she was disgusted with herself. I tried talking to her. I tried telling her that I still loved her,

but she said. she’d been using me to get back at Rowan for sleeping with you”

That was the first time I found out that the girl Rowan slept with and knocked up was Ava.

“You can’t imagine the pain that hit me. I felt crushed. I loved her with my body, only to

find out that she didn’t feel a thing. That she was only using me. The betrayal I felt nearly

destroyed me. We kept our distance ag hat is until she told me she was pregnant.”

I’d been scared, to say the least. I didn’t know how to be a father. For heaven’s sake, I’d

never even been near any babies. It was overwhelming, but I knew I loved the baby

already.

“She wanted to get an abortion, I couldn’t let that happen, so I threatened her.” I take a

deep breath, feeling my throat close tightly against the bubbling emotions. “I took her to

my grandfather’s house. I’d hoped things would get better. That she would learn to love

the baby and

me, but I was wrong.”

“She was hell to live with. I won’t lie to you; during that time we still had S** when the

mood struck her, but it didn’t make up for the ugly way she behaved towards me. She

would curse me,

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and the baby

I look at the floor. I tried to understand that she was going through a lot. That she was

pregnant. heartbroker, and still in love with another man. That’s why I let her let out her

frustrations on me

“It was hard I wanted to walk away so many times, but then I would remember my child.

Sometimes I would remember the times she was sweet, or when she cried and begged me

not to leave her. I was also hurting while trying help her with her pain.

Ava takes my hand and squeezes it. Lending me her strength as I felt mine diminish.

“When Gunner was born, she refused to see him. She went back to being a stone–cold

bitch. She told me she never wanted to see me or him again. I took my baby and left the

hospital. I didn’t hear from her until probably a year later.

“What did she want?” Ava asks.

I didn’t want to tell her this part because I’m ashamed of it. Ashamed of how I let Emma

use me for years.

“Sex.” I breathe. “She wanted S**. She said she tried sleeping with other men, but she

couldn’t bring herself to. I was overwhelmed with being a single father so I gave in. I

wanted the release.

The next morning, when I woke up, she was gone. She didn’t even want to see her son,

nor did she

say goodbye.”

I continue. “It went on like that for years. She would drop by just to have S** with me. I let

it go so long because I’d hoped she would change. That she would learn to love me and

our son, but she

was only interested in what my body could give her.”

I feel sick to my stomac]

tell Ava everything. I feel disgusted with myself for allowing her to

use me for so long. Most of the time, I hated both her and me. Her, for hurting me and

myself for

being weak.

“The day Gunner saw her, he was about seven years old, and she was sneaking out in the

morning. He had been awake. Gunner asked me if she was his mom. I couldn’t lie to him,

so I told him the

truth. She got angry because I told Gunner the truth and left without even greeting him.”

I’d felt so angry and bitter toward her. So resentful because I had to pick up the pieces of

my son’s

broken heart.

“I called her and told her to give her relationship with Gunner a chance. When she

refused, I cut

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Gunner.”

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“I wanted a fresh change for me and Gunner, so we moved here, where I was born and

raised. I

wanted a fresh start with him. I just didn’t know that you would be my neighbor or that

Emma too

had moved back home.”

“I’m sorry for everything you’ve gone through, but I’m glad you saw your worth. You’re a

great guy,

Cal, and you deserve someone who’ll love you wholeheartedly,” she says with a smile.

I smile back at her.

“Thanks Ava, you too deserve the world after what you went through with Rowan.”

I pull her int

shoulders.

arms and hug her. I feel so lighthearted. Like a burden had been lifted from my

I didn’t want to tell Ava this, but I was glad when I realized that she would be my neighbor.

I

wanted her to figure it out. I wanted her to tell everyone the truth because I was so sick of

Emma

keeping him a secret. I was glad that now everyone knew what kind of woman she truly is.