Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

him. Something no one did for me when I was little and they treated me with cruel disdain.

I

wanted to stand up for him and call Emma out on her behavior”

It was something I’d prayed for when I was growing up. Other parents noticed how Kate

and

James treated me, yet they said nothing. Hell, even Rowan’s parents kept quiet and

followed their

friends‘ lead. No one stood up for me or what was right. So I decided to do it for Gunner.

“I understand you babe. No child should suffer through how your Kate and James treated

you or

how Emma treated Gunner. You were right for exposing what a bitch she is” (1

I felt so relieved. There was this part of me that felt like maybe I shouldn’t have done it.

Like I

could have handled it

r, but I was so angry that I couldn’t even think straight. I couldn’t help

1. it. All I thought about as I drove is; Like mother, like daughter 2

I was about to say something when my doll bell rung.

“Someone’s at my door, Letty. I have to go”

I felt so tired and drained. Both emotionally and physically.

“Okay. We’ll talk tomorrow. I know it has been a tiring day for you”

We both say our goodnights and hang up. I consider ignoring the person on the door. Like I

said, I

was tired. I didn’t want to see anyone.

2/6

I slowly use up and ge open the door

“Rowan, what are you doing here?” I ask in surpris

I am mitpitted to see him if I am being honest, I was expecting him to be by Emma’s side,

comforting her I’m shocked that he in here instead.

“Can I come in?” he asks instead of answering.

Something must be wrong with me because I step aside and let him in. He gives me a

small smile

as he enters my house.

“Is Noah asleep?” he asks while taking off his cont

“Probably, though he’s not here. Today he’ll be sleeping over at Calvin’s”

I see anger flash in his eyes at his name. For a moment I think he’s going to start a fight

over Cal,

but he literally forces himself to calm down. I almost clap for him at his show of control.

“Fuck. It’s crazy how today turned out.” He pauses. “How are you holding up?”

I know and I’ve seen some massive changes in him recently, but today it’s just sort of

hitting me

hard. Before he wouldn’t have cared. In fact he would have lashed out at me for hurting

Emma.

Could it honestly be possible that he has changed?

I shake my head to push away those thoughts. I’m being absurd. He had nine years to

change yet

he never did. It’s not possible for him to have a change of heart all of a sudden. 2

“I’m good” I say, then take a while to consider what I just said. “Scratch that. I’m definitely

not

okay. I feel like I’ve been scraped raw”

He walks closer to me

pulls me in his arms. I feel his body heat. I feel him entirely. He is hard

in every place where I am soft.

I should be pushing him away, but for some reason I am not. My mind was completely

empty and

numb from exhaustion. If I had been thinking clearly, I would have told him to leave.

“What can I do to ease your pain? I know this must be hard for you and not just because it

concerns Gunner”

My heart skips a bit. I’m shocked that he understands that not all of what I am feeling

right now is

because of Gunner, but also because of my own pain.

3/5

415 BONUS

1 look at his feet, but he cups my cheek and makes me look at him.

“I don’t know, Rowan” I whisper.

He caresses my cheek softly. His fingers skimming over my cheek and neck. He then

pushes a lock of my hair behind my ear.

His grey eyes clash with mine. He stares at me in a way that I used to dream about. He

stares at

me like he wants. Like I am his world, which is impossible, right?

“I know of one way to distract you” he starts. “If I bend and take those pretty pink lips, will

you let me?” he ask, as my heart begins to race.

I just stare at him.

‘Tell him no‘ I whisper to myself.

Say no, Ava. Push him away

I know I should, but I can’t think straight and my mouth won’t move to form the damn

words.

His head descends as if in slow motion. Finally, his firm and soft lips touch mine.

Something must really be wrong with me because I slowly open my mouth and let him slip

his

tongue in. I close my eyes at the fiery emotions that take over.

I feel him in every fiber as our mouths mold and our tongues dance together. My legs

weaken and

I almost collapse to the floor, but his arm around my waist hold me up.

I always wondered what authors talked about when they said ‘earth shattering kiss‘. This

was it.

My senses really hav the building because I grab the back of his head and deepen the

kiss. It’s like I couldn’t get enough of him and I just wanted more. Even Ethan’s kisses

didn’t feel this

way.

I get lost in his kiss as he devours my mouth. This was exactly what I always dreamed of. I

always wanted Rowan to kiss me like he wanted me. This what I’d wanted from him every

time he came home from work or left in the morning. This was what I wanted every time

we made love. We

never got that though. Not because I didn’t try, but because he never wanted me.

“You tried being a descent fuck but you weren’t even good at it. Every time I was inside

you, it’s Emma I wanted, it’s Emma I imagined beneath me. Every time I cummed, it’s her

face I saw. You were nothing special, just easy and so I used you. I used you like the

fucking slut you are” (2)

15 BONUS

The words he flung at me a couple of months ago hit my head like a wrecking ball. I

wrench myself from his hands, as the words play over and over in my head. Tormenting

me now, like they did when I first heard them from his mouth.

I was breathing hard as I stared at him.

“Ava?” he calls in confusion

“Every time I was inside you, it’s Emma I wanted, it’s Emma I imagined beneath me” I

quote his words. “You were nothing special, just easy and so I used you like the fucking

slut you are”

“Ava” he tries again, his voice barely above a whisper.

My tears start filling and obstructing my view of him.

his

“That’s what you said to me. You said I was nothing but an easy fuck and a place holder

for your precious Emma”

Why the hell did it still hurt? Is it because he kissed me like he wanted me when in reality

we know that he never cared for me?

“Listen to me, Ava. Please” he begs, but I don’t see him. The only thing I see is his face

twisted into a mean glare as he shattered my heart with those words.

“Please leave, Rowan”

“No” he stands his ground. “Not until you listen to me”

I just wanted him to leave me alone. I just wanted to go to sleep and forget that we kissed.

“Fine then” I turn around and take my car keys.

“What are you doing? ne asks.

“If you won’t leave, then I will.”

I was just about to step into the hallway when his voice stops me.

“I’ll leave. It’s late and you shouldn’t be out by yourself”

I don’t say anything. Just wait for him to leave.

He starts to and I begin breathing relief. That stops when he steps next to me. Before I can

do anything, he tips my chin up and places a gently kiss on my lips then on my forehead.

5/6

I glare at him.

+15 BONUS

Instead. he gives me a small smile before he quietly leaves. The moment I hear his car

leave, I

lock my door and rush upstairs to my room.

After changing I get into my bed and will my tired mind to sleep. I still couldn’t believe

that I

kissed Rowan. It felt so damn good and that’s what scares me.

It’s easy to give in to this new version of him, but I can’t because no matter what I can’t

risk getting hurt by him again and we all know if there is something Rowan is good at, it’s

hurting me.