Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

already were.

“See you later, mom,” Noah says as he crosses over to Cal’s.

After I’ve made sure he is in their house, I turn back and head into ours.

I get inside, and not even a minute later, there is a knock on my door. I approach it with

trepidation. I was

hoping it wasn’t another note.

I open the door and find Rowan Fuck I’d forgotten that we were supposed to talk. With

everything that

has happened, the talk was the least of my worries.

“Hey,” he asks, shoving his hands inside his pocket.

He looked really nervous. Again, this was something I wasn’t used to when it came to him.

“Come in,” I tell him while scanning the area.

The last thing I needed was a note arriving while he was here with me.

He gives me a look.

“What?” I ask.

“I thought you would put up a fight.”

“Do you want to come in or not?” I ask in irritation.

He gives me one last look before he enters my house. Without waiting too long, I close the

door afraid

that someone is watching me.

I’ve become so paranoid over the past few days that sometimes it terrifies me. The sooner

we deal with

this issue the better for my mental state.

I take a seat in my recliner. I bought it a few weeks ago because it helped relieve my back

pain. I even had

to change my mattress because it made my back pain worse.

“So, what did you want to talk to me about?” I stare into his eyes. “It sounded pretty

important. Is it about

Noah?”

He takes a deep breath before releasing. “No. It’s about us.”

I stare at him, confused, wondering if he had truly lost his mind. What the hell was he

even talking about, for goodness sake?

“There is no us, Rowan. You seem to be forgetting that a lot lately.”

I didn’t want to do this with him. Not when I had so much going on.

“Just listen to me, please,” he pleads, his voice soft.

Something about the desperation in his voice stops me. I don’t know what it is, but I don’t

want to put too much thought into it. Instead, I shut my mouth and focus on him.

He doesn’t talk for a while, as if he were struggling to find the right words. The more he

takes his time, the

+15 BONUS

I love you, he finally says.

My mouth drops open, and I gape at him like a fish out of water. He wasn’t seated that far

from me, so I

reach out and feel his forehead for a fever.

Are you high? Running a fever? Or maybe I just didn’t hear you, right”

He glares at me, but within seconds, his features soften. He grabs my hand, turns it, and

kisses my palm in a really gentle kiss.

“I don’t know when I fell in love with you or how, all I know is that I love you, Ava. I didn’t

see it back then. I was so overcome with bitterness and anger that I didn’t realize what a

true gem I had married. In the last few months, it’s been hard to be without you. Seeing

you in pain or hurt destroys me every time. It has taken me time to realize that I’m in love

with you, but here I am, begging you to give me a chance to show you the love you

deserved from me but never got o

I watch completely stunned, as he gets out of the chair and kneels before me. This all

seems like a dream. It’s like I am in a completely different world right now.

“Oh, Rowan,” I start, trying to make my brain function. “You don’t love me. You’ve never

loved me. Emma is your one and only love. She’s the one that has your heart,

remember?”

Pain and regret flash in his eyes. I feel bad for him, but I know that maybe he’s just

confused about things.

It just doesn’t make sense. How can he be in love with me when he hates me so much?

“You’re not listening to me Ava” he says as the pain changes to frustration.

“I am; you’re the one that’s confused, Rowan. How can you be in love with me now?

You’ve hated me up until a few months ago. You have proven over and over again how

little you care for me. You have hurt me more times than I can count, all in the name of

punishing me for ruining your relationship with Emma. You held on to her for years, and

now all of a sudden, you want me to believe that you love me?”

The familiar pain creeps back up, but I force it down. I have no time or energy to feel the

constant

heartache.

know, and you’ll never know how much I regret hurting you, but if you could only give me

a chance, I

promise I’ll never hurt you again and that I’ll heal the wounds I caused.” He whispers

brokenly, his eyes

staring at me.

“You have to realize that just because you say you love me doesn’t make it true, Rowan.

You had nine years with me, but not once did you give me a chance. I loved you with

everything I was, yet you broke me with everything you had. How do you expect me to

overcome that? Why would I give you a chance when

you never gave me one?”

+15 BONUS

I shift my eyes away from his. I didn’t want to see his pain. I didn’t want to see the regret

and guilt. It was

too much.

“Please”

“Why now, Rowan? Answer me that. If you’re being truthful, what has made you love me

now and not

years ago?” I ask him.

He stares at me for a while before looking at the floor. He couldn’t answer me because he

had no answer

that would make sense.

I sigh. “You have to see just how unbelievable all this sounds. I’m sorry, but no. You can’t

expect me to believe you love me when, for nine years, all you saw was Emma. You lived

and breathed her; it’s hard to

believe that in a few months that has changed.” 4

I watch as his shoulders slump. If it wasn’t for the fact that my ankles were killing me, I

would be pacing

all over the floor.

It only takes a minute for the heartbroken look in his eyes to turn into determination. He

leans forwards

and cups my cheek.

“I know this is a lot to take in, and I understand why you don’t believe me, but I am not

giving up.

to

you that I love you, Ava, even if it takes me a fucking lifetime to do it. I won’t stop until

you’re convinced that what I feel for you is true.” His voice takes on a deep tone as he

vows to me.

וויו

prove

He bends soon after and gives me a quick kiss before he stands up and leaves. I stay

rooted in my chair,

still unable to understand all that just happened.

He said he loved me, could it be true? And should I believe him or am I setting myself up

for more

disappointment and heartache?

Whether I believe him or not, something told me that my choice would soon be taken

away from me

concerning that matter.