Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

If I’m being honest, Letty has come to mean a lot to me in the short time we’ve known

each other. She is the best friend I never knew I needed. The one I never got to have in

high school because I was too obsessed with getting Rowan to notice me.

“It went really well” I tell her shyly.

Her face lights up and a grin takes over. “Tell me everything”

“There isn’t much to tell, Letty. We went to dinner at this fancy restaurant and then he

took me out for ice cream. Which was my favorite part of the night”

“Did he kiss you?” excitement was written all over her face

I chuckle at that. It’s like nothing else I said to her registered. All she wanted to know is

how the night ended.

“No.” I tell her. “I could tell he wanted to, but he didn’t. I don’t know whether I am still

disappointed by that or not”

“Why?”

“Because part of me wanted him to do it, just to know how it feels to be kissed by

someone who actually wants me, but the other part was glad he didn’t kiss me because

I’m not sure whether I’m

ready for that yet”

She keeps quiet and just stares at me. I see the wheels in her mind turning as she thinks

about

what I just told her.

“You’re telling me that Rowan has never kissed you?” she asks, a frown marring her

beautiful face.

“He has, but not like he meant it. I saw him kiss Emma when we were younger. It was

passionate

and heated. Like he couldn’t get over the taste of her lips on his. Like he could do it over

and over

again.” I take a breath. “He has never kissed me like that”

I avoid her eyes because I don’t want her to see my shame. This is the first time I’m telling

anyone

this. I’ve hidden the broken pieces of my marriage to Rowan in my heart for so long. Not

wanting

anyone to know just how much his actions destroyed me.

“He did kiss you like that last Friday” that same annoying voice reminds me.

That was just a fluke. It didn’t mean anything. Besides it can’t erase all the times I wanted

him to

2/5

*15 BONUS

much as he could, and that always hurt me like you wouldn’t believe That my husband

found me so unattractive that he didn’t even want to kiss me. Even when we had S**, he

would kiss anywhere except my lips.

“You deserve to be kissed like the world is going to end in the next minute” Letty’s words

pull me out of my head. She has my hand in hers, offering me support and comfort.

I look at her and sigh in relief. She wasn’t looking at me with pity or sympathy That was

the last thing I needed from her

“So, apart from that, everything else was perfect?” she asks

“Yes, I did see Rowan and Emma though Looked like they were out on a date”

“You’re serious?”

“Yes” I answer taking a sip of my drink Trying to forget how perfect they looked together

Emma was right. She and Rowan just made sense Everyone saw it then and finally I’m

beginning

to see it now,

“Well, I hope he saw how freaking gorgeous you were and I hope it sinks in that he let go

of a true

beauty”

I laugh. I told you Letty was good for my ego For once there was another human being

who wasn’t

obsessed with how beautiful Emma was Finally, someone who wasn’t comparing me to my

sister

or rubbing her beauty in my face.

“So that’s it? Nothing else interesting happened?” she asks

“Nope” I shake my head.

I wanted to tell her about Rowan’s visit, but I stop myself. Don’t get me wrong. I trusted

her but

sometimes people slip up and say things they aren’t supposed to say.

The last thing I wanted is Emma ever finding out that Rowan came to my house after their

date.

Worst of all, that he kissed mé

We settle after that and our conversation flows easily, but I noticed that something was

eating at

her.

“Okay, what’s wrong?” I push my glass and plate aside.

+15 BONUS

“Nothing” she answers averting her eyes.

“Spill it, Letty” I command.

There’s a battle waging inside her mind. Immediately I know that I wasn’t going to like

what she says. If she chooses to tell me, that is. 2

“It’s about Travis, he really is sorry”

I mentally shake myself. I should have just kept my mouth shut and minded my own damn

business.

“We’re not going to go there” the words leave through clenched teeth.

Letty sighs. “Please, Ava. It’s tearing him apart that you want nothing to do with him. That

you were hurt and he couldn’t even be there for you. He’s hurting”

“He’s hurting? Do you know how many years I’ve been hurting? Do you know how many

painful things he’s said and done to me? He wants me to forgive him yet he never forgave

me for hurting his precious sister. He told me I was dead to him. That he only had one

sister, do you know how painful it was to hear him say that? Or to have him taunt me that

Rowan will never love me because Emma was his everything and I was nothing?”

I was trying to move on yet they kept dragging me back. Once again, his pain comes

before mine. No one cared that they hurt me and tore me down, yet he expects me to

forget my pain and forgive him. It wasn’t going to happen.

I stand up and pick up my bag, already in a foul mood.

“If he can reverse the pain he gave me, then I might just forgive him. Until then we have

nothing

to talk about”

I see the tears swimming in her eyes but I ignore them and walk away. She calls my name

but I

don’t turn back. 1

I hail a cab and get in just as she gets outside. I refuse to look at her as the cab drives off.

I fight back the tears that threaten to fall. I wasn’t going to be weak anymore. I wasn’t

going to fall

back to feeling sad for myself. That chapter of my life is over. I was now going to focus on

creating

a new life for myself.

We get home and I pay the taxi driver. Thankful that I was home. In my safe space.

+15 BONUS

I walk to my door and I was about to open my door when a chill runs down my back. I felt

like I

was being watched. I turn around to look at the street but there was nothing out of the

ordinary.

A neighbor three door down was walking her dog. Cars were driving past my house on

their way to

their homes. A couple of people were on their evening jogs.

I turn back around, unlock my door and get inside. All the while still feeling the chilling and

menacing stare on my back.