FFF-Class Trashero

[11th Round] Occupational Disease

After leaving the restaurant, the handsome hero and his humble fiancée were helped by a friend of the Blue Wolf Clan, who lived on a farm in a fertile land near a large river across the Western and Southern Continents.

His name was Clansman F, a novice groom who set up a restaurant on the path from the Western Continent to the Southern Continent and naturally ripped off passing-by travelers with a smile.

“Meeeeeee~”

“Medusa. That is, Me-du-sa. It’s a snake with a head that is always crying ‘Me~~~~.’”

“…”

“…”

Serious: There was something that even Cadet Kang Han-soo, whom I thought was perfect, couldn’t do anything at all about. I don’t think you should be joking around.

Miss Trainee Teacher! This isn’t a joke, though?

I didn’t lie. Indeed, Medusas cry out like a goat. The upper body was of an achingly beautiful woman, and the lower body was a snake. There was also a monster called Lamia that looked similar to Medusa, but the two were completely different races.

First of all, the size. Unlike Lamias, whose upper body size was the same as that of a human, Medusa belonged to the giant group whose upper body alone was 2 meters tall. If you add that to the long lower body, a Medusa’s length was about 20m!

And while Lamias could speak human language, the Medusas couldn’t speak at all, only understand. The reason lay in their oral structure. A Medusa looked tempting enough to make my eyes pop out from a distance, but I came to my senses the moment it opened its mouth.

“Me~~~~”

It has a snake’s tongue, and this little thing was the main body. The upper half of the body, which is slender and beautiful, was similar to a conch shell surrounding the body. As a bonus, it even had the role of luring prey.

How?

In the desert, the lower body would be buried in the ground. They wait with only the upper body of a human being exposed. Then, when prey approaches, they attack with their lower body hidden in the sand.

The upper body also had another role. Their large, hard teeth could cut easily into their prey, and unlike normal snakes, they had a keen hearing. Also, while they had breasts reminiscent of human women, they stored nutrients like the humps of a camel. Therefore, they could walk around without drinking or eating anything for more than a month without any problem, and if they remained dormant in the sand, they could survive for a year.

“Here it is, sir. A very healthy male.”

Clansman F said as he tapped one of the two watermelon-like large and bouncy bumps of the Medusa. It was the essence of Medusa’s milk, and if they didn’t drink water for a long time, it would gradually shrink. So, although very rare, starving Medusas had smaller humps.

The upper body, which only looked like a beautiful human woman, was just a shell for camouflage. Medusa kernels exist separately, as male and female. You couldn’t tell just by looking at the upper body. As with most reptiles, you had to look underneath to find out.

“He does look healthy.”

I, not knowing much, nodded as I looked at the swaying humps. It seemed like he would last a long time, even if we ran non-stop. As a bonus, he was also emergency food. Natives of the Southern Continent, who travel in the desert, used Medusa’s milk instead of water to replenish moisture and stamina.

“Hero, are you going to ride this hideous creature?”

Ileana, who couldn’t grow no matter how much she ate due to the limitations of her inferior race, asked me while looking at the Medusa with an envious face. I nodded.

“Of course. It’s a trip, isn’t it?”

There was no need for haste. There were more than five hundred heroes beside me. They were still as weak as dust, but if they wandered around for ten years like me, they would become A-Class for sure. After all, I used to be a normal high school student, but now I’ve grown up like this.

The Northern Continent where my son lives would be the last. The best scenario was that the Northern Continent would be cleared up around the time I turn counterclockwise and subdue the Eastern Continent’s Five Great Disasters.

Question: Is it possible with dust alone?

Miss Trainee Teacher, you should have hope! I look very highly to the possibility of success.

Assuming the vampires weren’t annihilated by a sudden UV attack. Otherwise, the Dark Princess, who received my request, would send the hundred and one unemployed people from the Western Continent to the Northern Continent. The members of the Five Great Disasters preparing for world conquest in the cold Arctic would be entrusted to those heroes, and I would meet the son of the Sword Princess to enjoy the rest.

I never underestimated the power of friendship. It was despicable, but the effect was certain. If the heroes who were resurrected immediately after death continued to challenge themselves as if in virtual reality (VR), they would inevitably succeed in the next five years.

The Fantasy Continent, which was nothing more than a classroom where heroes studied how to be a hero, had such a system structure.

“Shall we go soon?”

Although Medusas were fast, flying with the wings of the righteous hero was overwhelmingly faster. But I was on vacation. After working non-stop for decades, I decided to take a break after entrusting my work to my Earth compatriots. I felt so proud. I did my share and cleaned up the Western Continent, didn’t I?

…It didn’t feel like it was completely clean, though.

“Me~~~~”

The Medusa’s eyes were covered with an eyepatch with a blue wolf head printed on them. That meant it belonged to the Blue Wolf clan. It was weeping sadly. A Medusa’s weakness was its two eyes on its beautiful upper body shell. Like Medusa in Greek mythology, those eyes could turn anyone they meet into stone in a process known as petrification.

But there was a fatal flaw. Medusa had excellent regenerative power to restore a cut tail in an hour, but those eyes were an exception. Once removed or damaged, they wouldn’t recover.

I fastened a very long rein on the main body. It looked like a mysterious beauty held a piece of noodle in her mouth, but that was the trigger that decided the Medusa’s life. This is because if you were to pull at it strongly, its fragile head would be pulled off.

These Medusas became very obedient. They weren’t smart, but they knew how to survive because they understood human speech. They were classified as livestock rather than a monster.

“I will never ride that monster that looks so unclean as to ridicule the physical characteristics of the elves! I will go on my own.”

“Do as you please.”

I let the stubborn Ileana to her own devices. Clansman F, who rolled up a rein long enough to reach the groundwater flowing beneath the desert, handed it over to me, and began to saddle the Medusa. Medusas were no different from bipedal creatures when it came to their upper body, so of course, the shape of the saddle was also different.

To put it simply, it was a piggyback bag, the household item for carrying a baby or pet on one’s back. There was also a bra-shaped steel protective gear to protect the two humps, which served as essential water tanks for desert travel. This was a necessary measure, as Medusa’s stamina and regenerative power would drop sharply if injured there.

“Sir. The secret is…”

“I won’t tell anyone that your wife’s tastes are like that.”

This hero was meticulous in his calculations.

“Thank you very much…”

“Don’t worry about it. Aren’t we close enough for you to give me this expensive Medusa for free?”

“I’m not giving but lend- Haha! Never mind! Yes, sir. We are that close!”

Our beautiful friendship, which began with drunken debauchery, would continue.

“Me~~~~!”

After getting ready, Medusa picked me up and started running. His long tail swam from side to side like a little train in an amusement park as he darted through the soft sand. You could explain the direction in words when running lightly, but the Medusa couldn’t hear it properly when it was moving fast like now.

In this case, I gave him signals by touching his neck. The principle was similar to that of a steering wheel; however, unlike a steering wheel that simply turned left and right, this required considerable skill.

Admiration: There is nothing that Cadet Kang Han-soo cannot do! Except for making jokes.

I wasn’t joking, Miss Trainee Teacher!

There was nothing I didn’t do in the 1st playthrough. During the Hero Festival, I was embarrassed when that cheeky elf asked me for a wyvern driver’s license.

“…Ah! Thief E. I have a place to stop by.”

I remembered another thing I had to do in the Southern Continent of Fantasy.

“You’ve been calling my name by mixing Ileana and Thief E from the beginning, but I wish you could call me right when there are only the two of us.”

“Right, Thief E.”

“How come that strange name is your definition of right?!”

“Now is not the time to discuss trivial matters like names. You call me hero instead of my name, don’t you?”

“I’m ashamed of my…ah! It’s enough! Call me whatever you want! But where are you going to stop by?”

That’s a very good question.

“I am going to hunt Lizard W, who publicly insulted me in front of knights in the past. Ah! Don’t worry too much. It’s close to here.”

“What is Lizard W? Explain in words I know.”

To be honest, I don’t know. It’s just one of the countless lizards that passed by and killed my companions during the adventures of the righteous hero. But since she wanted to know, I would tell her.

“The Guardian Dragon of Glaciers and Time that keeps the Southern Continent from getting too hot. The Ice Dragon King Sleyas.”

Miss Trainee Teacher always scolded me for forgetting names like someone who couldn’t memorize a foreign language, but it was only a serious misunderstanding. I never forget the important things.

*

“You’re not asking the Guardian Dragon for advice but hunting it?! Is it possible to hunt a great being…? Your combat power exceeded 18.6 billion…what are you?”

“I think it’s more interesting to see your tenacity and obsession in measuring my combat power without giving up.”

“This is a matter of course. Is it strange that I want to know a little more about a person who will be my hu-hu-husband?! It’s a matter of course and a mindset as a b-b-bride! The strange one is you, hero. Aren’t you curious about me-?”

“Not at all.”

In the previous round, I finished scanning her head-to-toe with my own hands and examined her internal organs and spine more precisely than a colonoscopy or X-ray test ever could. What more was I supposed to investigate here?

I could hear Thief E, who was running next to Medusa, talking to herself with her fists trembling.

“What is this deep sense of defeat and humiliation…?”

“It’s alright.”

This was a very natural phenomenon. It was strange of me to know every inch of her through the frequent regressions.

“This…is it the power of love I’ve only heard of? Just one word calmed my body and mind.”

“That is abnormal.”

I said it out of the blue. It wasn’t something for me to say, who claimed to be her fiancé only by using her name, but it was abnormal to feel love for someone you’ve only known for a day. However, there was a possibility that it was mistaken for love. Thief E, who saw my combat power still rising, was drawn to her strong companion with an extremely animalistic sensibility.

This was a common occurrence in the savage Fantasy Continent. Most of the stories that claimed to be romantic love in this world were like that.

“Don’t be stupid! You’re younger than – anyway, hero! I have a question. The Ice Dragon King Sleyas is the most respected and great being in the Southern Continent. If he, who has settled here for the sake of the smaller beings, disappears, this continent will be hotter than it is now due to the heat radiated from the Phoenix of the Five Great Disasters. So why would you want to hunt him?”

“Haha! Right, that’s what everyone knows!”

“Hero…?”

“You’ll find out when you get there.”

It seemed that my occupational disease was unavoidable. Thinking of justice even while on vacation? How soft-hearted was a hero named Kang Han-soo that came from the Earth…Miss Trainee Teacher. Please ask them to give me a good grade.

Question: Is this a good thing…?

Can’t you believe your secret friend? Nothing lasts forever, but it seems that our secret friendship has already cooled down. You’ll also find out when we get there, Miss Trainee Teacher!

“A Guardian Dragon? Well, he’s a dragon that defends lies!”

The great hero, who couldn’t stand the sight of injustice, and his only-for-a-day-fiancée invaded the dragon’s nest full of hypocrisy and deception!