FFF-Class Trashero

[12th Round] The Hero’s Test

Lanuvel limped around diligently, acting like her leg was hurt, as the others prepared the camp.

With the help of magic, she mowed down the ground and built an earthen wall around them. In the middle, firewood made from dried Lucifer’s droppings was burned to make a bonfire.

After that…

Ppyong! Ppyong! Ppyong! Ppyong…

Seven sleeping bags were taken out of a four-dimensional bag and spread around the campfire. There were eight of them, but the dark knight was a corpse. It didn’t need sleep.

Although assisted by magic, Lanuvel’s movements were honed to perfection, as if she were a conductor running an orchestra.

‘Warriors, you did a great job today!’

‘Thank you, Miss Lanuvel.’

‘Lanuvel is good at everything.’

‘Miss Lanuvel too! You did a great job today!’

She forced everyone to camp outside, yet they were still grateful to her. Was that what they called playing cat and mouse?

Lanuvel, who had been forgiven because of her cute acts and received compliments, and the heroes gathered around the bonfire to talk about their future plans and what happened today. They soon fell asleep one by one.

… Was what she had hoped. ‘C-c-cold…!’

‘I can’t sleep because of mosquitoes!’

‘Aaah, it’s a cockroach!’

‘Toilet, I need a bathroom!’

It would be the icing on the cake if it snowed here…

“Hero! Hero! How can you sleep in this situation?!” Saintess A, still drenched in blood, shook me awake.

With my sleeping bag zipped all the way to my head to avoid grass, dust, noise, and bugs, I slowly moved.

“Saintess, are you crazy? If we don’t rest now, we won’t be able to march tomorrow.”

“That’s the problem! I don’t think we’re even going to make it through the night!”

“Wasn’t it your job to make that happen?”

“Well, t-that’s… Now isn’t the time to nitpick! The party is about to be annihilated!”

I slowly pulled myself up.

solutions came into my mind.

A strenuous direct offensive would be most effective, but that approach was only usable by idiots like Sieg.

What would a true hero do?

“Wu-?!”

“Wuuu~?!”

Death throes echoed throughout the jungle.

The Spirit King of the Soul, who was sitting on my groin and was happily sniffing, began to call forth the children below.

The spirits interfered with the mind of the chimeras and monsters, making them fight and kill each other like apex predators fighting for the position of being at the top of the food chain.

They weren’t dominated over. Rather, by stimulating their primal instinct to result in violence, their priority went from hunting the weakest to fighting the nearest being.

It was a very simple incitement, yet silence soon dominated the campsite.

As the severely injured retreated, they lured monsters and chimeras with them.

The phenomenon was temporary, but it would last until dawn.

“I’m alive…”

“Huu! Huhuhu!”

“I thought I was going to die…”

“Sniff… Sniff…”

Battered-down holy knights and fatigued priestesses slumped to the ground, wet with both monster and human blood.

Now finally able to relax, they dropped their false fronts and left their survival to their natural instincts. Their mind and body were too exhausted to function properly, after all.

The commander, Tomato, was no exception. “I was too arrogant… What a hero I am…”

He helped around as much as he could, so he was more tired than others.

His armor, specially made at the Holy Kingdom, received endless attacks and had lost its functionality.

He was seemingly pondering about retreating.

I would do the same if I were him. I would escape the moment I realized I didn’t have enough power.

“What did you do, Hero?”

Saintess A noticed the change faster than anyone else.

“I don’t think that’s what’s important right now.”

I returned exactly what she said to me.

Monsters quickly returned to nature when they died, unlike humans born from a woman’s womb.

When a human died, their body would remain until it rotted or was eaten away. If not handled properly, the deceased could turn into ghosts or zombies.

We had a saintess here that could prevent that.

She could make resurrection possible.

But it also had time limits and conditions. The longer the body was left unattended, the harder it would be to execute successfully.

“… That’s right. Excuse me.”

Saintess A turned around and rushed towards the dead. I could take care of the wounded, but I left it to the priests.

“It’s been a while since I camped. My back’s already numb. It would be good if there were a soft hot heating pad nearby that I can use…” I said, looking at the dead priestess that was lying face down in the mud.

But she didn’t have a lower body. A monster had probably bitten it off.

I didn’t see her face, but based on her vertebrae, she was beautiful.

▶ Question: How can you say she’s beautiful just by looking at her spine?

Priestesses in Fantasy were all beautiful regardless of age. There was even a rumor that they were chosen not based on their beliefs but from their looks…

That was a scientifically proven fact.

▷ Race: Human

▷ Level: 346

▷ Job: Priestess (Beauty = Healing ↑)

▷ Skills: Healing A, Charm A, Eternal Youth B, Physical Strength B, Cuteness C…

▷ Status: Dead, Disease, Curse, Fear

That much could be said based on the professional characteristics of priestesses.

During their youth, they could heal with their beauty, and in their later years, they could maintain their appearance with their healing abilities.

There was no rule that men shouldn’t be priests, but very few men want to be priests because women in Fantasy preferred strong men over handsome men to be their husbands.

“Lady, if you sleep on the cold ground, it might kill you.”

I lifted the priestess by her slender wrist. I wanted to look at her face, but I immediately saw her empty eye sockets filled with maggots when I turned her.

Her soft chest was exposed to the bone. She was full of bugs instead of organs.

She would be hard to revive even with the power of a saintess. Perhaps at an extremely high level, the priestess could be revived in exchange for a huge cost, but she wasn’t at that level.

Then…

▷Race: Human

▷ Level: 346

▷ Job: Priestess (Beauty = Healing ↑)

▷ Skill: Healing A, Charm A, Immortality B, Energy B, Passion C…

▷ Status: Disease, Curse, Fear

I decided to alter her skills a little bit.

No human being wanted to age to death, but it would be useless if one died young as well.

Crack, crackle!

Maggots poured out of her eyes, nose, and mouth. Her torn eyes, tongue, and lips were then newly reformed.

There had also been a change down there.

Insects were kicked out of her torn, severed organs, and her lost body parts grew out like bamboo shoots.

Sumptuous chest, peachy-like butt, crane-like legs, cute toes…

She became just as beautiful as her spine.

“Cough, cough!”

The priestess coughed, declaring her survival.

“Are you alright?”

I asked with a calm look on my face instead of giving her the smile of a righteous hero with 60 years of experience. I didn’t want to be misunderstood that I saved her with evil desires.

The priestess looked at her body and was surprised.

“I was sure I died…”

“I’m glad you’re safe.”

I headed for the sleeping bag, and the priestess naturally followed. It didn’t look like she had intentions of helping her colleagues.

She snatched my hand and spoke in a murmuring voice. “Excuse me, hero.”

“Priestess with a beautiful lumbar waist. May I help you?”

The priestess looked at me with eyes full of lust. Her hot-pack-like hands overshadowed the chilly weather.

“… Ah! I suddenly feel dizzy…”

Flop.

With her bad acting, she fell into my arms.

I was stuck in the ground until just now, so my dirty body and clothes made me uncomfortable, but I endured it because I was a good hero.

Of course, I didn’t intend to put up with it for long.

Shwaaa!

I washed it at once using the spirit of water.

“Kyaa – grrr….”

They put the priestess in a whirlpool and spun her around like a super washing machine.

There was no mercy as there was no detergent. Her tattered clothes were neatly removed without leaving a thread behind.

In just three seconds, the priestess was clean.

Her eyes were spinning inexorably, but it was just a small price to pay for hygiene.

Wee-ing-

The Spirit of Fire and the Spirit of Wind worked together to serve as a dryer. Thanks to this, the moisture left on her skin and hair dried up in an instant.

“Oh, my! You must be very dizzy.”

“Yes, the world is spinning…”

This time, she was no longer acting.

I went into my sleeping bag with my hot-pack, no, a priestess who was still suffering from the aftereffects of resurrection.

“Take a good rest until your body and mind are stable.”

“Excuse me, Hero. That place is… Kyaah!”

“We’re doing a thorough body inspection. Let me know if you feel any pain.”

“I’m not sure. Can you do it again…”

“As many times as you want.”

“Ugh! Lord, forgive me for being selfish!”

A push-over hero saved a life today!

***

The expedition, which safely got through the first day, resumed its march again.

There was some opposition from the hero Tomato, but he soon dropped it when Saintess A expressed her determination to finish the Hero’s Test.

She didn’t have any other choice.

A saintess’s purpose was to support the Hero chosen by God.

There was nothing to be done if I already had the support of a different Saintess, but if I didn’t, then she had to prove herself worthy of being my companion.

She was a saintess, after all.

That was her destiny.

“Saintess A. Beautiful night, isn’t it?”

“If you think so, then I feel the same.”

“How was my exam?”

“…”

Saintess A, who came into my sleeping bag, didn’t reply. It had been five days since we started our journey.

Since the first day, which had the most deaths and disappearances, little by little, we accumulated damage and soon found our forces halved by the time we made it to the entrance of the underground laboratory.

The hero, Tomato, died in vain against three nameless chimeras on the third day. Unfortunately, his body fell down a cliff, preventing us from reviving him.

The Knights, now leaderless, were taken in by the faction of the Saintess.

And the leader of the Saintess Faction?

Chpok! Chpok!

She had been under my care since yesterday.

Bang!

When Saintess A passed out in my sleeping bag, exhausted, the door of the laboratory we were about to raid opened.

A skinny middle-aged wizard with a strange expression came out of it.

“In what world have you seen a bastard as clueless as this! I labor day and night with noble intentions, and you pour salt in front of my house!”

He was enraged.

“Can’t I use a heating pad on such a cold day? Hmm? What’s that sad expression on your face? You look like you don’t have anyone to warm you during these cold days.”

Once upon a time, a wizard who happened to pick up an angel’s body hid in this jungle without informing his homeland, the Holy Kingdom.

His purpose was to produce angels with absolute obedience! However, only ambiguous chimeras had been mass-produced since.

“Wait! Don’t tell me… that naked woman isn’t the saintess that the Holy Kingdom considers as their treasure, is she?”

“And how did you come to that conclusion? If she could hear you, she’d be offended. Prejudice is bad, you self-proclaimed great wizard. That’s why even in the next ten years, your research will remain fruitless.”

The wizard’s face turned red at my provocation.

“Who in hell are you to proudly defile the noblest and most innocent saintess on the Central Continent!”

Putting on my pants, I honestly answered the wizard’s question.

“I’m the Holy Hero.”

The 60-year-experienced Hero, living on top of the heads of Fantasy’s uncivilized people, succeeded in luring the boss out of the dungeon!