Father, Mother Escaped Again

Hey, does anyone want a glossary/chapter titles/something else that I’ve been too lazy to put? Just want some feedback to improve my site and crush those wenchly aggregators~

FYI, the chapter titles can be funny sometimes, but mostly they’re just a phrase taken out of the chapter. Like: Chapter 17 – Don’t Think I’m Hello Kitty Just Because I’m A Pacifist! or Chapter 18 – Poor IQ Really Is The Most Serious Injury! (which I tweaked to make it sound funny in English as well: "You Sir, Are Not A Genius!")

Beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world–If you have eyes and can see Mt. Tai, this is totally not the original Chinese, which was something along the lines of "My eyes didn’t fail me, this girl’s a total treasure (jester), she’s too cute." BUT I COULDN’T RESIST THE CINNAMON ROLL MEME, STONE ME OKAY.

is a famous Shandong dish. Here’s a

"Hahaha! So that’s what a kitten showing her claws looks like. I gotta hand it to her, look at how ugly Prince Rui’s expression is." Yan Ran was the first to recover. He covered his mouth with his hands to muffle his laughter. He’d almost busted his gut laughing.

Shao Zitang dipped his head to sip some tea. He didn’t reply, but his eyes were dancing with mirth. He was clearly tickled pink by Prince Rui’s ashen yet speechless expression

After Yan Ran finished laughing, his eyes had reddened. He drank more wine. "As I thought, she’s a beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world." he murmured in awe.

Leng Ruofeng glanced at him. "Yan Ran, thou shalt not commit adultery," he uttered calmly.

"Cough cough cough–" Yan Ran almost choked on the wine he was drinking. He looked at Leng Ruofeng aggrievedly. "Zombie face," he said, "Can you not say such heart attack inducing things? When have I touched that girl?"

Shao Zitang turned toward him. He grinned toothily, "When have you not."

Yan Ran choked at these allegations. He lapsed into silence. Fine. It’s not like I’ve touched her in that way. I’m sure the kitten’s owner won’t mind, sighhh.

"Who’d yall say ya touched?" interrupted a simple and puzzled voice.

"Fools shouldn’t interrupt when the experts are speaking. Just be good and eat your Braised Pork in Soy Sauce." He Wenzhong’d been sitting by them since who knows when. Yan Ran smacked him on the head and pushed the braised pork which had been sitting besides him since forever towards the grizzly man.

"...Okay."

Everyone gazed at Xia Yuqing in astonishment when she finished speaking. Uncomfortable under the stares, she was just about to speak out when she heard a bang. A strong-looking man besides Prince Rui slapped the table and leaped to his feet furiously. She jumped in shock and shrank back as he roared, "How dare a mere foreign princess talk to His Highness like this! That woman’s just a brothel songstress. What do you intention by pushing a woman His Majesty doesn’t want onto His Highness?"

Silence fell again.

Xia Yuqing looked pityingly at the bud with all brawn and no brains. Sure enough, feeders do the most harm to your team. He’d just blurted out the treasonous thoughts that no one had dared to say. You sir, are not a genius!

The one who broke the silence this time was Feng Tingye. He raised his eyebrows and laughed coldly, resting his chin on one hand. "So General Wang is aware that Miss Jiang is a songstress."

"Heheh. I’m sorry Cousin, I got delayed at home," said a bell-like, feminine voice from outside. It caught everyone’s attention.

Liu Yixiang beamed as she walked past Jiang Zhaorou, her sharp gaze seemingly innocuously sweeping through her. Jiang Zhaorou’s expression changed. She twisted the handkerchief in her hands.

When he saw Liu Yixiang enter, Feng Tingye chuckled, "Cousin, you must have lost track of time while visiting Mother. She would scold us if we blame you."

Liu Yixiang smiled calmly, "At least I didn’t miss this show."

Then she turned towards the nervous chap, General Wang Feng, and smiled icily, "General Wang Feng, let me warn you. Who you were speaking with just now wasn’t some foreign princess, but my Imperial Cousin’s consort. His Majesty is your ruler, and Consort Qing is the only concubine within the palace. Not only that, she possesses a four-of-a-kind rank, and is only second to the empress. With this is in mind, she is also considered your mistress. What is a mere general like you doing, yelling at your lords?"

"I..." Wang Feng wanted to reply, but Liu Yixiang didn’t give him a chance to explain himself. She harrumphed. "General Wang, you also said that that woman is a prostitute, and is not worthy of His Highness?"

Wang Feng looked at Jiang Zhaorou’s deathly pale face. "Yes..." he said, only to be reproached by Liu Yixiang again, "You feel that a songstress isn’t worthy of His Highness, but doesn’t His Highness feel that a songstress is worthy of His Majesty? By these words, General Wang is questioning His Highness or mocking him.... Well, which of these is your intention?"

"I wasn’t.... Your Highness, I..." Wang Feng’s expression transformed. He desperately wanted to explain, but he was at a loss for words as he saw Prince Rui’s expression become increasingly ugly.

"Fine then, you weren’t. Then I have one last thing to say. General Wang, you say that by pushing a woman my Imperial Cousin doesn’t want on His Highness, it’s insulting him. Let me remind you: His Highness is a subject, His Majesty is a ruler. If His Majesty bestows a woman to His Highness, that is out of appreciation. His Highness should being feeling grateful. The indignation General Wang feels, is it your own, or is it on the behalf of His Highness? If it is, then should I take this discontent that His Highness feels as a sign of his disaffection with the emperor?"

Liu Yixiang’s aggressive speech cowed Wang Feng.

Xia Yuqing gazed with shining eyes at the woman in front of her. Woah. Mistress, Mistress! Mistress, please whip me, please let me look your foot! Compared to a nobly-born tigress of a military family, that pretty bitch over there is nothing mkay!

Prince Rui’s face was even darker. The cup in his hand shook. He steadied himself and stood. "Please forgive me, Your Majesty. General Wang has spent too long in the army, and the lax standards have led to his indiscretion. His rudeness to Your Majesty today wasn’t intentional, so I hope Your Majesty lets him off for my sake. As for Miss Jiang, I will take Your Majesty and Milady’s consideration to heart, and from now on I... will take good care of Miss Jiang."

"We also feel that it was but a slip of the tongue on General Wang’s part. Only, it seems General Wang has scared my dear. She is very timid. If we simply let General Wang off, I’m afraid she’ll have nightmares about General Wang’s rudeness. Our heart will hurt." Feng Tingye wrapped his arms around Xia Yuqing. His right hand crept to her waist and pinched, hard.

Xia Yuqing melted into Feng Tingye’s embrace with teary eyes. Sobsobsob, Seme-sama, you brute, don’t pinch so hard! It hurts QAQ.

Prince Rui’s expression stiffened. He coughed lightly and looked at Wang Feng. Wang Feng’s face sank. A sliver of resentment flashed through his eyes. He lowered his head towards Xia Yuqing and clasped his hands, saying, "It was a slip of the tongue. Consort Qing, please forgive me for this offense."

Xia Yuqing nodded gravely. It wasn’t because she was acting haughty, but was because she was speechless. Seme-sama’s hand had crept behind her back, and was slowly...

囧 Sobsobsob, Seme-sama, stop acting so horny mkay! Can’t we just play nicely?!