Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World

294 Buffet Restaurant Calls Cops on Florida Man for Not Eating Vegetables

Chapter 294 – Buffet Restaurant Calls Cops on Florida Man for Not Eating Vegetables

After ordering a regular wine, Leo sat at his table and relaxed. The orc chef served the steaks along with side dishes 10 minutes later.

Leo took his time to enjoy his food. While he ate, he observed every employee in the lounge with his Qi sense.

All of the employees here were all deities. Some were even stronger than Esen's minions.

This got Leo curious. He wondered how powerful the stadium owner was. Also, he hated the fact that his system was dependent on the stadium's system.

'One of these days, I should seek the stadium owner. Or rather, should I search for a karmic fate crystal and increase my power ceiling?'

He inclined against his chair and looked at the ceiling, thinking hard. Because of the distraction, Leo stopped eating the steaks on his plate.

While Leo was in deep thought, the crisp sound of footsteps came from the other exit of the lounge. A tall and sexy divine elf in a red dress walked toward Leo. Without asking for Leo's permission, she slid a chair and sat in front of Leo. She leaned forward and rested her chin on her hands.

Leo stopped looking at the ceiling and slowly gazed at the mysterious stranger. Their eyes met.

"Hello, Florida Man." The woman grinned.

Leo slightly frowned. The woman had a similar face and the same voice as Esen. However, she looked more mature. Her voluptuous chest, red lips, and smooth skin could fall any nation, but her palms seemed crude, hardened, and blistered.

"Hello, femme fatal," replied Leo. "What do you want?"

"How cold. Do you even know who I am?"

Leo scoffed and resumed eating. He cut a piece of meat and put it in his mouth.

Noticing Leo's attitude, the stranger grinned. She introduced herself.

"I am Ellen Sydin, the new queen of the Divine Elf Kingdom and the president of the DEZNUTS council."

Leo shrugged, "Good for you. So?"

"You're not surprised at all?"

"I do, but I have no F to give. So?"

Ellen widely smirked. She suddenly took off the upper part of her dress to show her bunnies.

"Are you either dumb or infertile? Can't you catch the hint?"

Leo glanced at Ellen's perfect breasts. But as Leo had unloaded so many bullets in Esen, his sage mode remained active. He clicked his tongue.

"As a proud married man, I'm not interested in affairs, especially my wife's sister. Go tempt someone else."

Ellen flinched for a moment. She slowly adjusted her dress and put it on. Then, she leaned back and crossed her legs. "You know, 100 billion handsome elves would kill to catch a glimpse at my face. I'm offering you my body here."

"…Then, go ask them for their dicks."

"But I want you to join my harem. I need a quality stud to produce good seeds for my future children."

"…"

Leo put his knife and fork on the side of the plate. He wiped his mouth with a warm towel on the table and gave Ellen a meaningful look.

"Your mother said the same thing. Do you know what she got? Gender equality punch to the face."

Ellen giggled, "Did you kill her?"

"Deader than dead. She got MEGUMINed."

Although Ellen didn't understand what 'MEGUMINed' was, she could guess the vocabulary. She was satisfied.

"Hmm. Very nice. Now, I like you more. Are you sure you don't want to be my consort? You just need to copulate with me when I ovulate. I can do many plays – submissive, femdom, BDSM, or any kink you dream of. Not only you can claim my body, but you can also enjoy my wealth and status as the prime consort of Divine Elf Kingdom!"

"Too cliché. You elves are too horny! Get some help!" Leo started to get annoyed.

"We are honest, unlike you hypocritical humans. That's why those lowly dogs keep calling you people Nu'Earthe. You need to accept your primal instinct and be honest with it. That way, the civilization can flourish."

"What a load of craps. Rapists would have dominated the society."

"I beg to differ. It's them who will have to work to get those rights. Women will be forced to rely on their strength to protect their bodies. As for men, they also had to compete with fellow men and overcome their prospect's strength. Because of such encouragement, our race never stops improving their cultivation strength."

"In short, if they are weak, they can either die a virgin or be enslaved."

"Exactly."

Leo shook his head in disgust. He didn't want to discuss another word.

"You people are disgusting. Your society must be one hell of a shit hole."

Ellen burst into laughter, "That's the difference between us and you humans. We dominate the universe while you humans become wandering fugitives."

"…"

Leo stood up. As he lost his appetite, he planned to go home and return to his wife.

Unfortunately, Ellen predicted Leo's thoughts. She also stood up and ejected a broadsword from her system inventory. The sword pointed at Leo's neck.

"Florida Man. Join me."

Leo was relieved that Ellen finally used a forceful method. He was tired of this farce.

"How about no? Wanna settle this in the arena?"

Ellen smirked, "Heh. No need."

"Mhm. Get lost, bitch. Shoo, shoo!"

"…Cool. Don't regret this."

Ellen pulled her sword away. She turned around and left without uttering a word.

Leo scoffed and patted his clothes. Although he planned to visit the dwarf and the spaceship vendor, Leo opened his system menu and chose to press the 'Return' button.

But after pressing the button, the corner of Leo's eyes noticed that the whiskey bottle that he had ordered from the bartender was still full. He grabbed it along with the plate of steaks. Then, he vanished.

.

.

After Leo had teleported away, the bartender and the chef changed their expressions. They lifted their collar cloth closer to their mouth and whispered.

"This is the VIP lounge. We are reporting another food robbery. The thief's alias is Florida Man. The stolen goods are a plate of steaks and a bottle of 20-Year Medusa Oak Whiskey."

A few seconds later, the response came from the higher-ups. A voice entered their mind.

"The CCTV footage has been retrieved. Good job. We will apprehend him when he shows up here again."

The orcs nodded. The chef returned to his duty as if nothing had happened. Only the bartender widely grinned and commented.

"What a fool. Didn't he read that all food and drinks must only be consumed here? Bringing even a piece of food here to their homeworld is illegal. He's just asking to be enslaved."

The orc chef shook his head and deeply sighed. "The rules are too strict. Sometimes, I wonder if I should report this matter to the superior officers. I mean, it's just a few pieces of cheap steaks and cheap whiskey."

"You know nothing, Yraunaj. It's a scheme of the higher-ups. We just want an excuse to enslave strong players and steal their fate crystals. Their dantian crystals are also valuable, especially the humans. If we can acquire one of them, we can learn the secrets behind Overlord Xiaomao's abnormal strength!"

Again, the orc chef 'Yraunaj' disagreed with his partner and the stadium's ways of doing things. He felt like the stadium was scamming their valuable guests.

'I hope he is strong enough to handle the Player Hunter Squadron. I wish your true strength is independent of the system… human."

.

.

Meanwhile, Ellen's expression was dark. He was disappointed in Leo.

"Foolish. Had he agreed, I could have made him the King of Divine Elf. He would have ruled half of the universe! I would have supported him and purged the Kishin Clan from the universe. Then, we would have formed a permanent alliance with Overlord Xiaomao…"

Ellen deeply grumbled while she opened her system menu, planning to return home. But as the system screen appeared, a notification message screen manifested.

DING

<Breaking News: Fresh Warrant Issued for 'Florida Man' Who Allegedly Caught Stealing Food from Buffet Lounge. Player Hunter Squadron Has Been Deployed.>

"…"

Ellen raised her eyebrows in bemusement. A second later, she burst into laughter.

"What a fool! I thought you were stupid, but you are downright autistic! How could you have fallen for the stadium's petty trick?! Had you simply left the table, no one would have batted an eye! Now, you're done for!"

The new queen looked forward to seeing Leo and Esen struggle. After all, the army behind the Fate Stadium was the only one who could rival the divine elf kingdom's forces.

.

.

Leo returned to his bus. He looked at the clock.

Only 30 minutes had passed. Leo was proud that he got home early. With free time at hand, Leo planned to manually improve his kingdom by purchasing some prebuilt houses from the shopping system.

He opened his online shopping menu. Then, he was prompted with a red notification message.

<Warning! You have committed a crime in Fate Stadium. Please navigate to the PVP system screen and press the 'Surrender' button to turn yourself in. Failure to comply will result in additional charges, and the Player Hunter Squadron will be deployed to apprehend you. We don't guarantee the damage that they may inflict on your kingdoms or domains.>

"…"

Leo was confused. He didn't remember committing any crime in the Fate Stadium. All he did was take a whiskey and a plate of steaks back.

Steak?

Whiskey?

Leo paused for a minute. He slapped his forehead.

"Those idiots. They should have told me that I couldn't take any food outside the buffet area in the first place! Is this a scam?!"

Leo navigated to the PVP system screen. His hand hovered over the 'Surrender' button. But then, he pulled his finger away.

Something seemed fishy when Leo pondered about it. Why would the rich and resourceful Fate Stadium deploy task forces to hunt down a little thief? Wouldn't that be excessive?

He closed the system windows and crossed his arms to think.

Hours later, Leo tilted his head in frustration. He had a headache as his thoughts were in chaos.

'At a time like this, I shouldn't be overthinking things. Instead of wasting my time, I should waste other people's time! How about asking Kitten and Meowmeow about it? They are more knowledgeable than me, right?'

Being inspired, Leo left the bus and visited the mystic realm portal.