Guild Wars-Novel



Around 30 minutes ago… 

Misery and AP_Berserker were walking through the corridors of the central mansion, dealing with anyone who obstructed them with ease. Misery only used his tome lazily while AP_Berserker stuck to using his raw hands to get the job done. 

At the beginning of the conflict, they had greedily jumped past all the fighting and right into the building. Their devious plan was to infiltrate and find Nathan Rothschild, capture him, defeat Sengo Muramasa and be the responsible leaders they were! 

Haha, sike! 

Their only goal was to be the first to find the location of the secret money vaults, and more importantly secure all the precious booze. As a Councilor of the World Council, this fellow had to have stashed some rare brews never seen in the world, right? 

Just thinking about it, the eyes of Misery and AP became red further accelerating their movement. After all, if those other uncultured core members were to be the first to arrive in this area, they might destroy it in a fight due to carelessness or allow it to be stolen away by others. 

With such fear in mind, Misery and AP could not play around anymore. They cleared a squad of guards within the mansion who were obviously trying to lure them into some sort of ambush and then capture the leader of them, or what seemed like a leader. 

Since this guy could stay in the inner area of the mansion, his loyalty to the Fifth Councilor was definitely a stage higher than the guy in the outer wing. He gritted his teeth and swore that no matter what pain they inflicted on him, he would not reveal the location of the noble Fifth Councilor to these superpowered freaks! 

As such, his expression was filled with utter confusion when they told him that they only wanted to know where the wine storage was. The fellow helplessly pointed the way, which led to him being tossed aside like a ragdoll. 

Not only did they not ask for the Fifth Councilor, but they let him live as if his life and death would not affect them. Suddenly, the fellow reflected on everything and then opened his radio, telling the other squads to stop fighting, and that the intruders would likely not harm them if they did not attack first. 

Some squads, especially those who had lost people already and had seen the horror to the core members, deeply agreed and decided to take this advice. Those who had yet to encounter them or were too loyal were furious and cursed those who backed off, swearing that they would never give up. 

The ones backing off weren't angry, but they even praised those fellows for their courage and lamented their own cowardice, making those loyal fellows puff out their chests. Their anger seemed to reduce as they told their compatriots to quickly scram and leave things to them to handle. 

Meanwhile, Misery and AP had reached the location of the wine cellar which only had some light security. After knocking them out, they entered to find a full set of organized wine in barrels, bottles and some even in sealed basins. 

Sniffing the scent alone made the two fellows fall to their knees with happiness, and they thanked the lord… cough, actually Lady Boss Eva, for giving them life. 

As for taking it away, it was easy. Misery had a 7th Order Spatial Transfer spell but it took time to cast and drained a lot of Bloodline Energy, so AP went to guard outside. Misery had the help of Scathach's spirit who had chosen to stay in his body to observe the world. 

Soon, he finished and chose the destination to be the castle which was in the same state but many kilometers away. Since it wasn't too far, Misery was not too bushed after sending it over, but he did have to rest for a while. 

After doing such 'heavy work', it was only right to treat himself. For that purpose, he had left himself one bottle to taste and he popped open the cork to savor the scent. AP glanced at him with envy but understood that it was rightfully his. After all, if one thing was for sure, AP could not replicate what he did. 

Now that they were done with their main task, they could follow through with their secondary task and raid the rest of this place. As such, the two hooligans began looting everything, stuffing duffel bags with all the riches and wealthy decorations they could find on the way. 

Eventually, they reached the pantry and devoured the great big meal that was meant for Nathan Rothschild. Stealing a rich man's food further elevated the culinary experience. After that, they climbed up to the living area and noticed that it was strangely deserted. 

Before Misery could step forward, Scathach appeared and warned him that there was a trap in these rooms. Hearing this, his heart skipped a beat, and he glanced at the back of the oblivious AP with a cruel smile. 

Suddenly, Misery bolted forward and struck AP in the back using a powerful wind type spell that launched him forward into the room. While moving, AP was shocked as he roared. 

"Misery, what are you doing?!" 

Misery simply took a swig of his drink and glanced at AP askance. "Your skin is thick like a gorilla, so you should be able to test the lethality of the traps for me. Don't worry, if you die, I will make sure to bang your favorite type of chick over your coffin as they lower it." 

Before AP could even retort, he looked around and heard ticking sounds, looking at hundreds of explosives which were on a countdown since he entered the range and were now at 1 second remaining. 

AP's expression changed greatly as he understood. Feeling hatred and killing intent in his heart, he shouted out he anger as the explosion launched him skyward and into the sunset. 

BOOOM! 

The entire city shook from that and Misery's barrier could no longer fool anyone, but who cared? Unless they found a way to break it, unwanted personnel could not come in. As for AP, he struck the barrier and made a 'splat' sound as his body was squished against it like a bug on a car windscreen. 

He then slowly dragged downwards and then fell on to the ground, causing a dustcloud explosion while he did. All the while, Misery enjoyed the view while drinking his booze, sighing with relaxation. 

.........… 

Rambunctious Buttlover casually walked alone through the western wing of the estate, having been booted here by the core members to speak his rubbish without harming his allies. RamButt was already used to the seclusion and bullying, so he was calm and unperturbed. 

He casually glanced upward and saw that many of the troops were waiting for him to ambush, because this wing was where the gardens and orchard where kept, meaning there were a lot of bushes and trees. 

Just as well, RamButt had a few things to say that he had been keeping in. The moment he opened his mouth, it was as if his voice resounded in the souls of those who heard him, and any type of mental or hearing related defense was useless. 

"This is truly one of the motivational videos out there. My favourite part of course was when Andrew Tate said his signature catch phrase "It's all over brokies, I am the Andrew Tate now" and proceeded to Tate all over the place. I am crying so hard right now because Andrew Tate inspired me to leave my Medical degree (which is a boring 9 to 5 job and I don't even like patients) and ended up graduating with a 1st class honours Bachelor's in Affiliate Marketing from the only true University, Hustler's University. I was able to by 2000 Bugattis, 30000 mansions, and open a thousand offshore accounts all in Romania. It was so magical when Tate said "What colour is your Bugatti?" and then proceeded to Tate all over Great Thunberg. But sadly, Greta said "You can't beat me, I'm now going to Grate all over you" and grated Tate to a Romanian prison. But then Tate said "Oh is that all you've got? Watch me Top G all over this prison" and then G'ed the Top of the prison wall to escape prison. Andrew Tate is truly one of the most men I've seen, and I aspire to be a man of all time like Andrew Tate." 

"That's enough, I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE! I HOPPED INTO A FUCKING BOAT, DROVE INTO A HAWAII f-f-f-f-f-FUCKING V-v-v-vVOLCANO, TOASTED AND ROASTED MY ASS ON MY VOLCANIC SPIT. TSKTKDKTJFHHD FUCKKKKK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-OH GOD FUCKKKKK NOOOO AAaaAAAaAAaaAa PLEASE GOD NO FUCK FUCK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OH GOD FUCK FUCK TUCK FUCK FUCK OH FUCK FUCK NO-oh-HOOPO PLEASE AAAAAAAAAA MY FUCKING LOWER TORSO-ITS FUCKING GOOONEREE NOON NBEOOHOOBONONONOON PLEASEE MOMMMMM GODD NO SAVE MEEEEEEEE-FUCK FUCK FUCK PLEASEEEEER FUCKKKKKKKKK MY DICK IS GONE NOOOOOOO-NO MY AAAA MY NEC-" 

So why the fuck did you not save me god? I was busy doing a halo 2 lasso. You know how hard that shit is. oh, understandable. you're going to hell for ending my fucking run. wait wh- 

TOASTED AND ROASTED MY ASS ON MY HELLISH SPIT. TSKTKDKTJFHHD FUCKKKKK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-OH GOD FUCKKKKK NOOOO AAaaAAAaAAaaAa PLEASE GOD NO FUCK FUCK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OH GOD FUCK FUCK TUCK FUCK FUCK OH FUCK FUCK NO-oh-HOOPO PLEASE AAAAAAAAAA MY FUCKING LOWER TORSO-ITS FUCKING GOOONEREE NOON NBEOOHOOBONONONOON PLEASEE MOMMMMM GODD NO SAVE MEEEEEEEE-FUCK FUCK FUCK PLEASEEEEER FUCKKKKKKKKK MY DICK IS GONE NOOOOOOO-NO MY AAAA MY NEC-" 

"OH MY DIVERSITY I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT ME AN PRIVILEGED EVIL WHTE MLE HAS BEEN GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE URETHRALLY VORED BY MY BBC BLACK BULL MASTER WHILE MY INCEL NAZI CHUD WHORE OF A WIFE IS AWAY BUYING ME THE LATEST POKÉMON SCARLET & VIOLET ALBUM BY TOBY FOX THAT JUST CAME OUT THIS IS EVERYTHING, I CAN'T IMAGINE HOW AMAZING IT WILL BE TO CLIMB UP TYRONES DINGUS AND GET TO WORSHIP TYRONES BBC FROM THE INSIDE? OH MY ZACIAN & ZAMAZENTA THIS IS JUST LIKE SONIA GETTING BLACKED WITH BACKGROUND SONG THE POKÉMON SWORD & SHIELD OST - WYNDON HEY TYRONE IS THIS AN ANCIENT YASHMALIAN RITUAL FROM THE BILLION YEAR OLD BLACK SPACEFARING CIVILIZATION WHICH WAS DESTROYED BY A RACE OF WHTE CLONES CREATED BY THE SCIENTIST MAGICIAN YAKUB? I NEED TO RESPECT TYRONES CULTURE!! I HOPE THAT WHEN ALL WHTE PEOPLE ARE KILLED THAT THE MOST DESERVING OF US BIPOC ALLIES GET TO EXPERIENCE URETHRAL VORING! OH MY HECKIN WONDERS OF SCIENCE TYRONE IT FEELS SO GOOD INSIDE YOUR URETHRA WHILE YOU ARE FUCKING MY INCEL WHORE CHUD WIFE BUT IT'S BETTER HAVING THIS DINGUS TO MYSELF! NOW TO LISTEN TO TOBY FOX'S GLORIOUS RENDITION OF THE GEN 8 OST ON THE IPOD NANO I TOOK WITH ME W-WAIT A MINUTE THIS IS pokémon black and whte ost - summer in lacunosa AAAARRRGGGHHHHH TYRONE YOU FUCKING NIGGER GET ME THE FRICK OUT HERE RIGHT NOW. I NOW IMAGINE HILDA GETTING FUCKED BY CHUD HIBERT INSTEAD OF BY BLACK MAN WITH BBC WAIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? STOP DRINKING THAT MONSTER ENERGY ULTRA WHITE YOU FUCKING BABOON NIGGER YOU'LL HAVE KIDNEY STONES AAAGGHH AGHHHH FUUUCK HERE THEY COME AAAGGHHHH RIGHT IN MY EYE NOOOOO WHY ARE YOU HURTING YOURSELF JUST TO HURT ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT AAAAGHDHHDHDDJDHHFEINBBC!!" 

"Fuck it, I'm just gonna say it. I wish I could go back in time and fuck Hitler's brains out. This is how I envision it: I'm a dirty little american soldier that ends up being captured by the Nazis. To avoid execution, I volunteer myself to be Hitler's obedient fuck-toy. For days, I allow Hitler to chain me up and obliterate all of my orifices like they're little Polands, constantly filling them with his aryan seed until his cock is stroked raw. Hell, he even gives me the pleasure to lick his puckered german booty clean after he takes insane nuclear shits. Due to me not getting bathroom access, I constantly shit and piss myself, but Hitler is generous enough to be my personal cleanup, licking it all up and staining his beautiful mustache. After building up trust and showing my obedience, he unchains me and allows me to fuck his brains out, cursing in pleasure as he yells out, "YA SHOVE IT REICH UP MY ASS!". I'm generous enough to give him a reach around, cranking his throbbing war machine. I feel him tighten up as he reaches climax, but I let go of his thick ramrod as he begins to spew his nuclear ejaculate all over the floor. Hitler repeatedly yells out "NEIN! NEIN! NEIN! NEIN!" through his moans while he suffers through his ruined orgasm. At this point the tables have turned. He tries to fight me off, but I pin him down and powerfully thrust my all-american cock harder into his poop chute as blood begins to build up and gush out of his torn asshole. I can't contain myself any longer, so I quickly pull out my 1911 and put a bullet through the back of Hitler's head. Brain matter and skull fragments paint the wall, which makes me break through to my climax. I raise my right arm up to the ceiling. I yell out "SEIG HEIL!" as my cock begins to rapidly pulsate. I quickly thrust my cock to the hilt deep inside of him. I throw my head back with a loud "FUUUUCK!" as I spew what feels like a gallon of american semen deep inside his german asshole. I pull my bloody cock out of his booty tube and watch in excitement as my thick load begins to leak out of his ass. Heavily breathing, I fall back and begin to fade out, as I watch a group of american soldiers burst into the room, guns drawn.nI wake up in the hospital, in which I'm told that I'm praised as an american hero for stopping World War 2."