Harry Potter: A Certain Ancient Rune Professor of Hogwarts (TL)

When Harry appeared in the kitchen, none of the three Dursleys looked at him, and no one mentioned the birthday, which suited Harry just fine; he didn’t want Uncle Vernon’s stinky socks at all, and one bad birthday present of that kind is enough.

Uncle Vernon is reading the newspaper, Aunt Petunia is slicing dry grapefruits, and cousin Dudley – he’s got his fat arms slumped over the table and his whole face is puffed up with anger.

His good times had come to an end since Dudley had returned with a mortifying report card and a body full of fat, in fact, he could have struggled a bit, and with a few tears, Aunt Petunia would have empathized and shed tears along with him, then quickly compromised and agreed to all Dudley’s demands.

This is his speciality. But beneath the report card were a few words carefully filled in by the nurse of Smeltings Academy, which politely reminded the two parents that if Dudley continued to gain weight, it would affect his health and that the school’s clothing pool would no longer have clothes in his size.

The nurse also thoughtfully included a diet plan, and at Aunt Petunia’s insistence, the family had to follow this new diet plan together in order to take care of Dudley’s emotions, and the results are so obvious that Uncle Vernon’s chin has got smaller, which makes his beard look a lot more flowing and fluffy.

But Harry did not care at all, even before receiving his birthday present, he would go to Sirius to make up for breakfast. Now he couldn’t wait to imagine where Sirius would take him; Sirius had recently got a motorcycle, and he saw a hint of glimmer once he saw in Hagrid’s eyes from his own godfather’s obsessed eyes.

“Grapefruit again!”

Dudley said angrily, he had perfectly inherited his Uncle Vernon’s small eyes, and figure.

Harry thought cheerfully as he smelled the lack of a hint of flavour on his plate and couldn’t help but burp; just now, he had eaten two large slices of cream cake and felt a bit full now.

“Honey?” Aunt Petunia said very patiently, “We agreed to follow the diet plan the school nurse sent-”

But Dudley didn’t listen at all; he finished his portion in two bites and stared at Harry’s plate with his little eyes – even though the piece of grapefruit looked much smaller than his own. His eyes then fell on Harry’s lips, where there are suspicious traces of food.

“He’s hiding food.” Dudley said with certainty, extending a carrot-like finger.

Harry hurriedly wiped his mouth, and after touching the sticky cream, realized he had been careless.

“What?” Aunt Petunia questioned in confusion.

However, Dudley stared at Harry with greedy eyes, as if he is a piece of cream cake or something, Harry’s heart darkened, and he was faced with a difficult choice if Dudley really wanted to rob him of the cake, should he take out his wand and threaten him or not?

‘There’s no Sirius here, no spare wand, and no excuse, if I use magic, the Ministry of Magic will locate me directly …’

Just then, a loud horn sounded outside the door, followed by the roar of a motorcycle turning, and Uncle Vernon exploded at once, yelling angrily, “It’s that bloody murderer scum again … Can’t he be quiet!”

Aunt Petunia looked around in horror and worry, fearing that a neighbour had noticed the scene.

“Sirius is not a murderer.” Harry said coldly.

“Then make … that bloody … guy … stop!” Uncle Vernon said through clenched teeth, veins popping out of his face, and Harry, slightly frightened, walked to the window with a stern face and waved his hand at Sirius.

The honking stopped.

Aunt Petunia gasped and seemed to have just been holding her breath, Harry stood hesitantly, wondering if he should mention his birthday, he felt it’s pointless and Aunt Petunia gave Harry a stern look, while Uncle Vernon couldn’t hold back any longer, “What are you waiting for? Get out of my sight right now!” He growled and shouted.

At that moment, Dudley also interjected, “Your godfather … that Sirius is waiting for you.”

The words seemed more powerful than Sirius’ honking, and Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia looked at Dudley in surprise; they never mentioned Sirius’ name, and if they had to, they used “the prisoner”, “the murderer”, or simply “The hippie here to see you.”

Harry’s mind spun quickly, his eyes met Dudley’s, and he suddenly understood what Dudley had in mind, and he said hurriedly, “I’ll go upstairs and get something–”

He went back to his room, shoved the books and travelling gifts he had brought back from school to the bottom of his bed, then looked at the pile of candy and snacks on his bed and worried. There were also three large cakes placed side by side on the desk, one of which was already open.

After a few seconds, Harry thought of a good idea. He took out of his golden snitch given to him by Sirius from his pocket, the snacks candy all packed in, but when putting the cake, he ran into some trouble, he could only barely stuff one in.

He had to stuff the remaining two cakes into the bottom of the bed, hidden behind the travelling suitcase. After completing all this, Harry clapped his hands in satisfaction, if Dudley sneaked in, he would get nothing. Normally there would be no such worry because the Dursleys saw his room as a breeding ground for spreading the plague and would even speed up when they passed by.

But as far as he knew, hungry animals are the most dangerous and irrational, in other words, hungry pigs are similarly justified.

Before he left the room, Harry hesitated, Uncle Vernon already yelling from the ground floor, too late to think, he opened the golden snitch, shaking out a handful of snacks from it, a Cauldron Cake, a Fizzing Whizzbees, and a jumble of other things. Without looking closely, he put the candies in a conspicuous place.

As he’s hurried downstairs, Uncle Vernon pointed to the open door without a word, and as Harry passed by the table, he saw that the quarter of grapefruit on his plate had disappeared. He grinned and walked out of the room.

Sirius had been waiting for a long time, leaning on a very imposing motorcycle with a low growl coming from the exhaust. Harry sat on the back seat, Sirius started the motorcycle, the speed quickly picked up, the wind whistled Harry’s hair, leaving Privet Drive far behind, Harry excitedly shouted: “Where are we going?!”

“London!” Sirius said in a high-tone, “I’ve got the whole plan ready!”

…

They played the whole day happily, touring the small half of London, and towards evening, Sirius took him for a ride along the River Thames, the water reflecting the golden haze, Harry filled with a bellyful of steaks and oysters.

At seven o’clock in the evening, they returned to Privet Drive, but Harry didn’t want to go back so early, and when Sirius invited him to play wizard’s chess, he readily agreed.

Harry ruthlessly won three games of chess against his godfather, forcing Sirius to cheat and scatter the board, so they had to stay on the couch and watch TV together.

It dragged on until nearly ten o’clock when Mrs. Figg knocked on the door next door complaining about the noise they were making, and Harry realized he should go back.

The lights were still on at 4th Privet Drive, which made Harry a little suspicious. When he pushed the door open, he breathed a sigh of relief to see Uncle Vernon and Dudley huddled on the couch watching the game, and he realized it wasn’t what he thought it was. Harry deliberately paid attention to the expression on Dudley’s face, and he looked away sheepishly.

“Get your ass back to your room and be quiet.” Uncle Vernon whispered.

Harry went back to his room and opened the window, the pile of snacks he left really disappeared, he hurriedly checked under the bed again, the cake is intact.

He was overthinking …

Harry suddenly realized that Dudley simply can not bend down, let alone tuck himself under the bed, he would be stuck inside. As he lay on the bed, Harry couldn’t help but think back over his memories of the day, and he had to say, this was the best birthday he’d ever had.

———–

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