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Chapter 181-190
Book 4: White-Clothed Calamity
MXTX Author Notes: This book is set in the past timeline; this is about the first banishment after
the fall of XianLe. Follows after Book 2. Not too long~
——————————————————————————————————————————-
Ch.181: Lantern Night; Penny for a Wandering Soul
Xie Lian jolted awake in horror.
His body was drenched in cold sweat from the scare and he shot up from his rest, burying his
face in his hands.
The reason he was woken from shock was because of a dream. Within the dream, both his
father and mother hung themselves and committed suicide. He saw it, but there was no joy nor
grief, no tears to flow, and he woodenly prepared to prepare himself another white silk band.
Just as he was sticking his head into the knot, he saw below there was a white clad man
wearing the crying-smile mask jeering at him, and his heart jolted, the knot tightened, and a
crushing suffocation came. Then he woke up.
It was already daylight outside the window, and from the exterior came a voice, “Your Highness!
Are you awake?”
Xie Lian answered offhandedly, “I’m awake!”
It was only after having violently panted for a good while did he realize that he wasn’t sitting on
a futon, instead it was a sheet of straw mat under his body. Although it was layered with many
batches of hay, extraordinarily soft, but to him it still wasn’t quite comfortable. Even now he still
wasn’t used to such simple and crude bedding.
The one who called for him just now was Feng Xin. He went out early in the morning and had
just brought back food, and was still urging Xie Lian from the outside to go take his meal. Xie
Lian acknowledged him and crawled up.
That sense of suffocation in the dream was too real and his hand unconsciously felt his neck.
He had only wanted to verify whether if there really was a strangle mark left behind by a knotted
white silk band, yet unexpectedly, he had actually felt something.
Xie Lian was shaken at first, and he rushed to grab a mirror tossed on the ground not far away,
but when he looked at his reflection, he realized it was a band of black collar encircling around
his neck. Thus, he finally calmed, and remembered everything.
It was the cursed shackle.
Xie Lian’s fingers probed at it.
Once banished to become a mortal, other than aging slower than normal humans, there weren’t
many other privileges. However, when Jun Wu first fabricated Xie Lian’s cursed shackle, he still
showed some mercy and left him room to accommodate.
While this cursed shackle locked away his spiritual powers, it also sealed his age and flesh body
at the same time, allowing him to neither age nor die. Furthermore, Jun Wu told him, if you
managed to ascend again, then everything in your previous life shall be forgiven, and this thing
would be removed.
But, to wear such a thing on the body was no different than a criminal whose face was branded
as a sinner, no doubt a bone-deep humiliation. Having thought this, Xie Lian reached out to the
side and grabbed a white silk band, ready to pull it over his head. Yet the moment he raised his
hand he suddenly recalled that terrifying feeling of his neck slowly being strangled from the
dream and he hesitated. However, in the end he still pulled it out and wrapped it thoroughly
around his neck and the bottom half of his face before going out.
Feng Xin and Mu Qing were already waiting for him outside. Feng Xin had brought back
steaming hot steamed buns and Mu Qing was slowly munching at it. Feng Xin passed two over
to Xie Lian but when Xie Lian saw those dull and dried crude buns he lost his appetite, so he
shook his head, refusing them.
“Your Highness, you have to eat something in the morning. We have to work afterwards, and it’s
not labour that’d can be done with just sitting around.” Feng Xin said.
Mu Qing didn’t bother looking up, “Yea, even if you don’t eat this there’s nothing else to eat. You
can faint again but you’d still have to eat this in the end.”
Feng Xin glared at him, “Watch your tone.”
Xie Lian had ascended for a few years and had long forgotten what it was like to eat. A few days
ago he nearly fainted, and it was only after that he realized it was because he hadn’t had
anything to eat for several days. This was the incident Mu Qing was referring to. Sitting on the
side, Xie Lian didn’t want those two to start fighting so early in the morning so he changed the
subject immediately, “Let’s go. We don’t even know if we’ll find any work yet today.”
Xie Lian of the past was of a noble and prestigious status, and since he possessed a celestial
body, unneeding of mortal sustenance, naturally there was no need to worry over making a
living. However, the him now, while he was still a crown prince, the Kingdom of XianLe was
already no more; while he was still a god, he had long since been banished. Now that he was
basically no different than a mortal, naturally he needed to concern himself with how to live his
days. The profession of cultivators was of course catching ghosts and performing services, but it
wasn’t like there were demons and monsters for you to catch or rituals to be performed
everyday, so, a majority of the time they still needed to find some casual, temporary work, like
helping with transporting goods or some manual labour.
But even such small errand-like jobs might not be so easily grabbed, since up until now, there
were much too many impoverished civilians who were displaced. When these paupers saw
there was work, they didn’t even need payment; with just a bun and half a bowl of rice and
they’d be willing to labour, swarming up to fight for the work, so how could Xie Lian and
company possibly compete? Even if they managed to grab something, after Xie Lian
deliberated, he might still think that others needed the work more. Sure enough, after walking
the streets for a good while, they still found nothing.
“Can we not find something more stable and respectable to do?” Mu Qing grumbled.
“Rubbish. If it existed we would’ve long since gotten it.” Feng Xin said, “Don’t respectable jobs
need to have faces shown? Who doesn’t recognize His Highness’ face? If he was recognized,
how would the work remain stable?”
Mu Qing stopped talking. Xie Lian on the other hand, wrapped the white bandage covering his
lower half of the face tighter. Indeed, if anyone was to recognize who he was, then they would
have to either flee or they’d be beaten and chased away. And for example, if they were to enlist
for a security guard job, who would possibly be comfortable enough to hire someone with an
unknown background, a security guard who wouldn’t even show his face? They couldn’t go and
take up assassination jobs either, so their choices were very limited.
It was impossible for gods to worry over hunger. However, mortals needed to eat. Ever since Xie
Lian was young he had never had to consider these kinds of affairs, and this was truly the first
time in over tens of years that this problem gripped him. However, if gods didn’t even know what
starvation felt like, how could they possibly understand the feelings of a starving worshipper?
How could they possibly empathize? At this point, he could only take this experience as a form
of training.
Just then, there was a sudden cacophony of gongs and drums from not far in the distance, and
a large crowd gathered to see what was happening. The three followed with the flow and went
up to watch, and there were a few martial artists and clowns hollering with all their might within
the crowd. It was a street busker. Mu Qing tried suggesting again, “If all else fails, why don’t we
go busk?”
Xie Lian was also considering the same thing, but before he responded, Feng Xin was already
replying as he watched, “What foolishness are you spouting? His Highness’ body is worth a
Follow on NovᴇlEnglish.nᴇtthousand gold, how can he go do something like that?”
Mu Qing rolled his eyes, “We’ve carried bricks already, so how is busking any different?”
“Carrying bricks is feeding ourselves with our own physical strength,” Feng Xin said, “Busking is
to entertain the masses, to amuse them by making fools of ourselves, so of course it’s different!”
Then, one of the clowns who was hopping about tripped and fell. The crowd roared with
laughter as he pulled himself up and bent at the waist to bow, picking up some scattered coins
tossed on the ground. Seeing this, a deep sense of rejection rolled up in Xie Lian’s mind, and he
shook his head forcefully, striking out “busking” as a viable path of employment. When Mu Qing
saw, he said, “Fine. Then let’s start pawning stuff.”
“We’ve already pawned a lot of stuff,” Feng Xin said, “Otherwise we wouldn’t have made it until
now. The rest can’t be pawned.”
Suddenly, behind the crowd came waves of surprised shouts, and someone yelled, “THE
SOLDIERS ARE HERE! THE SOLDIERS ARE HERE!”
Hearing that the soldiers had come, the bustling crowd watching the show broke up. Soon after,
a band of soldiers with weapons in their hands, donned in shiny new armours, their airs
impressive, strutted down the street, interrogating anyone who appeared suspicious. The three
hid in the crowd and heard people beside them talk:
“Who are they trying to catch?”
“Don’t worry, they’re not here to arrest us. I heard they’re trying to capture the XianLe royals
who had escaped.”
“Apparently someone saw suspicious characters around here, so the city’s been really strict in
searches lately.”
“For real?! My goodness, have they actually fled to this place?”
Hearing this, the three exchanged looks and Xie Lian whispered, “Let’s hurry back and see.”
The other two nodded. They silently left the crowd separately, and only after having walked for a
while without garnering attention before they met up again, dashing away.
They ran up to a desolate piece of woods up on a small mountain, and from afar Xie Lian could
see a thick column of smoke coming from within the woods. His heart dropped heavily; could
the YongAn soldiers have already discovered this place and set off fires to murder?
They ran closer, and there was a broken little cottage hidden in the trees, possibly left behind by
some past unknown hunter. The thick smoke was coming from inside this cottage and Xie Lian
blurted, “MOTHER! WHAT’S GOING ON, ARE YOU THERE?”
After his shout, a woman emerged in greeting and called out happily, “My son? You’ve come?”
It was the queen. She was dressed plainly and thinned quite a bit, slightly different than her
affluent lady appearance of the past. Seeing that his mother was fine and her face was full of
delight, obviously unbothered, Xie Lian relaxed but then quickly asked, “What’s with the
smoke?”
The queen replied, embarrassed, “...It’s not really anything. I just wanted to do a little cooking
today...”
Xie Lian didn’t know whether to laugh or cry and said, “Don’t! What cooking? Just settle with the
food Feng Xin and Mu Qing bring you everyday. This smoke is too conspicuous; where there’s
smoke, there’s people, you’ll attract the YongAn soldiers. We bumped into them in the city
earlier. This city will also tighten their security, we’ll need to move to a different place again.”
Feng Xin and Mu Qing entered the cottage to put the smoke out, and the queen didn’t dare to
be negligent either, so she went to the back rooms to talk to the king. Feng Xin came out and
whispered, “Your Highness, are you not going to go see his majesty?”
Xie Lian shook his head, “No.”
The two of them, father and son, one was the king of a fallen kingdom, the other was a
banished god, just who was the more pathetic, the more ashamed really couldn’t be compared.
If they were to be forced to sit down to face each other, they’d only glare at one another instead
of having a heart to heart, so if they could avoid seeing each other, it’d be for the best. Xie Lian
called out, “Mother, why don’t you pack up in a bit, and we’ll leave today. We’ll come pick you up
in the evening. We’ll leave for now.”
The queen quickly came out again, “My son, you’re leaving just like that? You haven’t visited in
so many days, why leave so fast?”
“I have to go train.” Xie Lian said.
In truth, it was to go find work, otherwise they couldn’t possibly gather enough sustenance for so
many people. “Have you eaten yet this morning?” The queen asked.
Xie Lian shook his head. The three of them were starving by now. The queen said, “Then you’ll
break your body. Fortunately, I just stewed a pot of porridge, come in and grab a bite.”
Xie Lian wondered inwardly, ‘Why was there so much smoke like the palace was on fire if it was
just a pot of porridge...’
The queen turned to Feng Xin and Mu Qing, “You two children come eat with us too.”
Feng Xin and Mu Qing hadn’t expected to receive such a treatment at all and tried to decline,
but the queen was adamant, so the two could only sit down timidly at the table, both feeling
rather surprised and flattered.
However, after the queen brought over that pot, their surprise soon turned into dread.
After returning to the city, Mu Qing’s stomach was still turning, and he said as he stumbled, “I
thought... that porridge, it smelled like bran water, but I hadn’t thought it’d taste like it too!”
Feng Xin gritted his teeth, “Shut up! Don’t force people to remember that pot of stuff! The queen
is... body of ten thousand gold after all... never cooked... this is already... UGH! ...”
Mu Qing humphed, “Did I say something wrong? If you didn’t think it was like bran water, why
don’t you... go ask the queen to grant you another bowl! UGH! ...”
The two were heaving back and forth and Xie Lian grabbed hold of the both of them, patting
their backs, “Stop heaving! Look, up ahead... there seems to be some work!”
Sure enough, when the three stumbled over, there were a couple little ringleaders shouting on
the streets looking for hired help. The pay was fairly decent and there wasn’t a limit to the
number of help needed, they would take everyone who’d come, so the three quickly signed up,
mixing in with a group of disheveled, skinny to the bones paupers, forming a large band as they
came to a muddy, empty field. It seemed there was the intention of building a new residence
here so the area was going to start on overhaul, beginning with filling in the grounds first. The
three worked hard, their bodies covered in mud. Feng Xin was hauling earth as he hugged his
stomach, his face green, cursing, “...Fuck me! I think that pot of stewed bran water turned into a
spirit in my stomach!”
Xie Lian was carrying a basket full of earth and he looked back, speaking in a hushed voice,
“Can you hang on? ... Do you want to sit down for a bit on the side?”
Mu Qing turned to Xie Lian, “Why don’t you go rest on the side.”
“No. I can still hang on.” Xie Lian replied.
Mu Qing rolled his eyes, “Don’t be stubborn. If you dirty your clothes I’m the one who has to
wash them. I’d rather do your part of the work.” Not far in the distance, someone yelled, “WORK
HARD AND DON’T TALK! DON’T BE LAZY! YOU STILL WANT TO GET PAID?”
Feng Xin was tenacious and continued to hang on, even hauling twice the amount of mud than
before, “It’s not like it’s a lot of pay, why make so much fuss like they’re all that?”
After a grueling day, having fought from high noon to sunset, the work was finally done.
Physically, the three weren’t completely exhausted, but to have worked so hard only for some
meagre pay and a bite to eat, the heart was more tired than the body. When they finally gained
some free time, they laid down on a field that was slightly more clean to rest. Just then, another
group came around, rowdy and noisy. A couple of the men were hauling a stone statue as they
walked over slowly.
Xie Lian looked up slightly, “What statue is that?”
Mu Qing glanced at it too, “Maybe the new divine statue to guard over this place.”
Xie Lian didn’t speak.
If this was the past, then the chosen divine statue to guard land would be his crown prince
statue without question, yet now who knows which god this would be. It was most likely to be
Jun Wu, or perhaps whichever official who was newly ascended.
After a long pause, in the end Xie Lian still couldn’t help but wonder just who it was that
replaced him, so he forced himself to get up and shuffled close to the crowd to take a look. That
stone statue had its back facing him so he couldn’t see the face clearly, but, it seemed to be
kneeling. Now he was even more curious. Which heavenly official’s divine statue kneeled? Then
then went around the large circle before turning to look.
When he saw, his entire mind went blank.
The face of that divine statue was his own!
That kneeling statue was settled onto the ground, and someone on the side rudely patted its
head, “It’s finally transported. This bastard is pretty heavy!”
“Why did you haul over a statue like this? It’s kinda ugly, why not bring over the Heavenly
Martial Emperor? Isn’t this that what’s-his-face...”
“It’s that one, right? Didn’t they say worshipping him would bring bad luck? You guys still dare
worship him? And to go out of your way to transport him all the way here...”
“Now, none of you understand. Worshipping a God of Misfortune would certainly bring bad luck,
but this statue isn’t for worshipping, it’s for stepping. If you step on a God of Misfortune, doesn’t
that mean it’d ensure your everlasting good fortune?”
The crowd was enlightened, “What a good meaning, an excellent symbolism!”
Feng Xin and Mu Qing could also sense something wrong and when they approached, they too
fell silent. Feng Xin was about to explode but Mu Qing held him back, warning him with his eyes
and said under his breath, “The crown prince hasn’t even started anything, so what are you
going to yell for?”
Indeed, Xie Lian was quiet and Feng Xin wasn’t sure whether if he had other considerations, so
he didn’t dare move recklessly. Thus, he forced himself to swallow his angry words, but his eyes
were blazing like flames. Finally, someone grumbled, “Isn’t this... rather inappropriate? He was
a god once, His Highness the Crown Prince.”
“Please, XianLe has fallen, so what crown prince?”
Another said, “What you said was wrong. Stepping on a God of Misfortune isn’t anything
inappropriate, in fact, he should thank us.”
Xie Lian suddenly piped up, “Oh? Why should he thank you?”
That man explained presumptuously, “Have you seen the thresholds of temples? It’s trampled
by thousands, hundreds of thousands, but does My Lord see just how many wealthy
households are fighting to pay for one of those temple thresholds to be used as their
substitutes? It’s because every step stepped on that threshold, that threshold would absolve
them of a sin, pay a debt, collect a merit. This kneeling statue has the same function. If we each
step a step on its head, or spit on it, aren’t we also collecting merits for the crown prince? So, he
should thank us...”
Xie Lian couldn’t listen anymore.
When that man said the word “thank” his fist was already raised and he lunged.
The crowd instantly exploded, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” “FIGHT!” “WHO’S CAUSING
TROUBLE?”
Feng Xin already couldn’t wait to beat people up, so he also cried as he joined the brawl. Mu
Qing couldn’t tell if he joined in himself or if he got pulled in. In any case, all three of them
started fighting. In the midst of the brawl, there were a number of times when the white bandage
on Xie Lian’s face was almost yanked off, but thank goodness that didn’t happen. The three of
them were all skilled in martial arts, but the other party had the numbers, plus afterwards, Mu
Qing were holding the other two back, warning them that to kill mortals was to add to their
crimes, so the fight ended up being miserably restrained. In the end, while the fight was
gratifying, the three were still booted out.
After walking alongside a river for a while looking unkempt, their steps finally slowed. Mu Qing
complained angrily, his face black and blue, “We worked so hard all day, but in the end we
gained nothing all because of a fight!”
Feng Xin wiped at the blood on his lips, “How can you bring up money at a time like this?”
“It’s precisely because it’s a time like this that money has to be brought up!” Mu Qing countered,
“A time like this? What time is it? Time when we’re starving! It doesn’t matter if you don’t admit
it, but nothing can be done without money! Can you both not suck it up just a little bit?”
Xie Lian didn’t speak. Feng Xin spoke, “How do we endure this? He’s been made into that kind
of kneeling statue for people to step on! You’re not the one being stepped on the face, so of
course you can speak so lightly of it.”
“Since the war’s been lost, it’s not the first time that something like this has happened.” Mu Qing
said, “And there will surely be more in the future. If he can’t learn to get used to it soon, he might
as well just die.”
Feng Xin argued in distaste, “Get used to it? Get used to what? Being humiliated by others? Get
used to mortals stepping on his face? Why does he have to get used to something like that?”
Xie Lian cried out in irritation, “That’s enough! Stop arguing. Is something small like this worth
fighting over?”
The two shut up uniformly.
After a pause, Xie Lian sighed. “Let’s go. Find a carriage to go pick up mother and father. We
have to leave this city tonight.”
Feng Xin acknowledged, “Alright.”
The two walked side by side for a bit when suddenly they noticed Mu Qing didn’t follow. Xie Lian
looked back, confused, “Mu Qing?”
After some silence, Mu Qing spoke, “Your Highness, I want to talk to you about something.”
“What is it?” Xie Lian asked, but Feng Xin said impatiently, “What’s with you now? I already said
I won’t argue with you anymore, what more do you want?”
“I want to leave.” Mu Qing said simply.
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏm“...”
Although before he opened his mouth Xie Lian had already had a vague bad premonition, but
when Mu Qing actually said those words out loud, Xie Lian’s breath still stopped.
Feng Xin suspected that he might have heard wrong, “What? What did you say?”
Mu Qing straightened his back, his black obsidian eyes unyielding, and his demeanor calm,
“Please permit me to leave.”
“Leave?” Feng Xin exclaimed, “What should His Highness do if you leave? What about the king
and the queen?”
Mu Qing opened and closed his mouth a couple times, but in the end he still said, “I’m sorry. I
can only do so much.”
“No, you explain yourself right now, what the heck do you mean ‘you can only do so much’?”
Feng Xin demanded.
Mu Qing replied, “The king and the queen are His Highness’ parents, and I have my own
mother. She needs my care too. I can’t say I need to go take care of someone else and
someone else’s parents and neglect my own mother. So, I pray Your Highness will understand, I
cannot continue to follow by your side.”
Xie Lian was feeling faint and leaned against a wall on the side. Feng Xin questioned coldly, “Is
that the real reason? How come you’ve never mentioned it before?”
“This is one of the reasons.” Mu Qing said, “Another reason is, I feel, we’ve sunken into a
dilemma, but as to how to break out of this dilemma, we have very different ideas. Pardon my
honesty, but if things keep going on like this, nothing will get better even in a million years. So,
our paths have diverged.”
Feng Xin was so angry he started chuckling and nodded, turning to Xie Lian, “Your Highness,
you hear that? Remember what I first said? If you were ever banished, he’d for sure be the first
to break away. Didn’t I tell you?”
Mu Qing seemed be faintly enraged by his words and said flatly, “Will you please not force me.
I’m only speaking the truth. Everyone has their own views; no one was born destined to be the
righteous path of the mortal realm, the centre of the world. Perhaps you enjoy orbiting around
another person, but others might not be the same as you.”
“Where did all those concealed sour words come from? I don’t give a damn.” Feng Xin said,
“Can’t you just say plainly that you’re going to turn your back on us?”
“Enough!”
Hearing Xie Lian voice up, the two both stopped. Xie Lian removed his hand from his forehead
and turned to Mu Qing. He stared at him for a while before speaking, “I don’t like forcing other
people.”
Mu Qing pursed his lips but still stood tall.
“Go.” Xie Lian said.
Mu Qing looked at him, speaking not a word. Then he bowed deeply and really turned around to
walk away.
Watching his retreating back unblinkingly as it disappeared into the night, Feng Xin said in
disbelief, “Your Highness, you’d really let him go just like that?”
Xie Lian sighed, “What else can I do? I already said I don’t like forcing other people.”
“No, but? That bastard!” Feng Xin exclaimed, “What’s with him? He really left, just like that?!
Ran off? What the fuck!”
Xie Lian crouched down next to the riverside, rubbing his forehead, “Nevermind it. Since his
heart has left us already, what’s the use in keeping him? Tie him up and force him to wash my
clothes?”
Feng Xin didn’t know what else to say either and crouched down too. A moment later he spat
angrily, “Goddammit. That bastard can share in the wealth but not the suffering, running away
the moment shit hits the fan. Does he remember nothing of your kindness?!”
“I’m the one who told him not to remember it,” Xie Lian said, “So you too... there’s no need to
hang it around your lips.”
“But he can’t possibly really remember nothing?!” Feng Xin refuted, “What the actual fuck! But
don’t you worry, Your Highness, I will never, ever leave you.”
Xie Lian forced a small smile but didn’t say anything. Feng Xin stood back up, “Shall we go pick
up the king and the queen? I’ll go find a carriage, you just wait here.”
Xie Lian nodded, “Thank you for the trouble. Be careful.”
Feng Xin acknowledged and left. Xie Lian also rose to his feet and walked alongside the river
for another while, his entire person still feeling a little light on the feet, like nothing was real.
Mu Qing’s departure really shocked him to the core.
First, he had never thought that someone so close would just up and leave. Second, Xie Lian
had always believed in “forever”. For example, friends would always be friends forever; no
betrayal, no deception, no breaking up. Perhaps there’d be times when they’d part, but it for
sure wouldn’t be over reasons like “life is too horrible”.
This was like how in stories, the hero and the beauty were a match made in heaven, and so
they should never part, remaining true to each other forever and ever. If they couldn’t, it’d still
must be because they were forced apart by a tragic death, not because the hero preferred to
eat meat while the beauty preferred to eat fish, or because the hero scorned the beauty for
spending too lavishly and the beauty scorned the hero over his bad habits.
To suddenly step and lose one’s footing, plunging millions of miles down only to discover you
were still in the mortal realm really wasn’t a good feeling.
Walking around randomly for a bit, there were suddenly a number of shimmering golden light
floating over from ahead. Only then did Xie Lian snap out of it, and when he looked closer, he
found the light were actually lanterns after lanterns floating above the water, flowing over along
with the current of the river. There were also a couple of children, laughingly playing by the
riverside.
Xie Lian remembered, “Ah, today is ZhongYuan*.”
In the past, there would always be a grand service performed for the ZhongYuan Festival at the
Royal Holy Pavilion; he’d look forward to it long before the event and would never have
forgotten. Now, he didn’t keep anything in mind at all. He shook his head and continued on his
way. Just then, a voice came from the road ahead, “Kids, kids, will you buy it?”
This voice was exceedingly old and raspy, laced with a trace of the chilling air of evil. Xie Lian
instinctively knew something was wrong and he gazed over, only to see the two children from
earlier with lanterns in their hands stopped by the roadside, looking at something with both
curiosity and a little fear.
Within the darkness in front of them sat a man. It seemed to be an elder in black robes, dirty
and disheveled as he melted into one with the black night. In his hand held a lantern, and he
beckoned the two children shadily, “My lanterns are very different than the ordinary lanterns in
your arms. These are rare treasures; if you make wishes they are guaranteed to come true.”
Those two small children were doubtful, “R-Really?”
That elder said, “Of course. Look.”
The lantern in his hand was clearly unlit, but it suddenly glowed