I Don’t Want to Be Loved (Web Novel)

Chapter 41: Tied To Him

Rihannan was to wait until the following morning to meet the crown prince. Meanwhile, Dimitri was sent to prison and Rihannan locked and confined in the mansion. She was under heavy surveillance and unable to do anything. She only had a small leeway until the promised meeting with the crown prince. Until then, she needed to go to the princess. Only she could help her.

“But… I can’t meet her right now…”

Not mentioning her confinement, she’d have trouble entering the palace. Besides, there were guards outside the mansion preventing her from escaping. But… there was a guard nearby standing still and proper. She walked to him.

“Please pass this message to the princess… Rihannan wants to meet you.”

However, the guard did not react. He lacked the slightest sign of willingness to convey her words. Rihannan sighed dismally. As she tried to look for alternative methods, someone from the outside barged in.

“Lady Rihannan!”

It was the princess’s old nanny. 

Rihannan smiled and welcomed her. “Nanny, is the princess in the palace? Please help me….”

But the old nanny smiled bitterly, shaking her head at Rihannan’s earnest plea. “The princess was placed on a curfew. No one is allowed in and out of her palace. You won’t be able to meet her today.”

For a slight fragment of a second, a look of great disappointment flashed on her face. If the king had already made a decree, it would be nigh impossible to meet the princess.

“Lady Rihannan…” The old nanny clasped her hand as tears coursed from the corner of her eyes. “I’m ashamed to say this, and I know I’m committing a heinous crime that I could never wash, but… I will say it in spite of the great shame I feel… Lady Rihannan… won’t you please make a sacrifice for the sake of the princess just this once?” 

Rihannan looked at the old nanny. She was speechless. The princess, she had always been kind and warm to Rihannan. To think it would turn out like this.

“How could you…”

“You know how immature our princess is. If she goes, she won’t ever be able to hold on. On the other hand, Lady Rihannan has lived in Arundell half of her life. And more than anything else…”

“Is this Princess Helena’s position?”

The old nanny shook her head in a hurry at Rihannan’s cold inquiry.

“No… absolutely not. Don’t misunderstand. Princess Helena is worried about you. If it weren’t for the orders from the king, you would be able to meet the princess. His Majesty is all-powerful and the princess has no power aside from her title…”

Rihannan took a step backward and shrugged her hand away from the old nanny. Helena was the king’s beloved child. He would give the world to her. Even her violent brother, the crown prince, was as gentle as a sheep in front of Helena. 

Helena was innocent. She lived a life without struggle and hardship. What the old nanny said was true. She was weak. She’d not be able to hold on…

Rihannan looked up at the palace the princess resided in briefly before turning her gaze back to the old nanny. “Tell her that I understand.”

Then she turned around and left. 

The cries of the old nanny rang loudly in the background. 

After a long, hectic walk, Rihannan noticed that she was heading towards a familiar path. It was the garden she often visited on the way back home from the palace. It was here she met the crown prince without knowing his true identity.

Tired, Rihannan sighed and gently rubbed her forehead.

‘Get a hold of yourself, Rihannan. This is not the time to be…’

A shrill cry of birds interrupted her thoughts. She turned around and saw the bird’s nest under attack by a big snake. The snake coiled its body around the tree, hissing as it made its way upwards. Some of the birds had already become its prey, the number of baby birds decreasing. The adult birds flapped their wings and flew around, pecking hard at the snake, but it was not enough. The snake swallowed the remaining baby birds one by one… 

“Ah…” 

At the thought of helping the birds, she remembered a voice she had long forgotten.

“Give up. That’s the bird’s destiny.” 

It was the voice of a young boy lying in the garden. It felt like it was yesterday.

“Ah …”

“Look at her drooping belly. She’s a new mother. If the hunt fails, the bird will live, but her kittens will starve.”

At the time, she was at a disadvantage. The boy’s reasoning was not wrong, but she could not bear to see that bird die. There was nothing she could do, but eventually… the boy climbed up the tree himself as she shed tears. 

Rihannan’s ice-blue eyes quickly dimmed. Sometimes she thought… what if he had not climbed the tree for her? Would they have avoided the tragedy of a loveless marriage? 

No, she was fooling herself.

The Queen loved her that she chose her as the only queen candidate for her son, Igor. 

Her fate was tied to him.

It seemed to be the case in this life. One could resist, but they’d only be eaten in the end. That bird might have managed to avoid the cat’s attack, but it could have been swallowed by a snake that appeared out of nowhere the very next morning.

Life seemed to work like that.

It truly is ephemeral. 

She had tried to live a life on her own path, but here she was… back to square one. So long as the crown prince and the king continue pushing her as candidate for the national marriage instead of their beloved princess, she’ll end up in Arundell and to that life as Queen all over again.

And… she knows she’ll wake up in that palace to find her heart breaking all over again long the day has begun. 

Just like last time…