I Should Have Just Died

Chapter 160

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“…it’s not my mother’s fault. I’ve never thought of it that way.”

“But, Seidrick. I’ve expected too much from you. I’ve put a lot of burden on you. I should have helped you after Kendrick’s death, but it’s all left to you. That’s obviously….”

“No, mother. It was all I wanted. I did it because I wanted it. I did it because I wanted to make Kendrick’s unfulfilled dream come true.”

“Seidrick…”

“Don’t blame yourself like that, mother.”

Seidrick contorted the corners of his eyes.

“I… I have to leave Cambridge for a while. Thinking about what my mother will be like in the meantime, I can’t go back comfortably.”

Juliana bit her lip.

That’s right. If Seidrick suffers from the guilt caused by her and does not live well, the good and delicate son will not be able to go comfortably.

He is on his way to cure his illness.

She couldn’t put a load on Seidrick’s shoulder like that.

She made up her mind.

“…I’ll be fine, Seidrick.”

“Only in words?”

“I have Alyssa and Ophelia. I have to help them defend Cambridge.”

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Seidrick nodded his head.

Alyssa realized that now was the time for her to intervene. She cleared her throat and added a word.

“That’s right, mother. You have to help me protect Cambridge.”

Juliana turned her head towards Alyssa. Seidrick also agreed with her.

“Alyssa thought the same.”

“I’m still not old enough. There must be some deficiencies.”

Just like before— Juliana’s new perspective and firm belief must have resonated with Alyssa. Alyssa smiled softly.

“Don’t worry too much, Seidrick.”

This was a promise Alyssa could make.

“I’ll take good care of Mother. You need to be treated and come home safely.”

She could promise until there. Alyssa’s eyes met Seidrick’s.

There was a distortion in Seidrick’s blue pupils. He still wasn’t sure about Alyssa’s future. She swerves and avoids Seidrick.

He knows that she won’t be able to forgive easily, but he can’t help this heart that has been holding hopes, and then it scatters in vain like bubbles. Seidrick smiled painfully.

“Yes, I understand. I’ll definitely come back quickly.”

Before she goes so far away that she can no longer turn back.

***

Juliana went back to get some rest.

She says that in the future, she promises to dine with Seidrick as well. Juliana seemed to have regained her composure, but she didn’t know the happenings on the inside, so she asked Ophelia to do the rest of the work.

She took care of her business until there, and Alyssa and Seidrick were left alone.

“Oh, I was just about to go to work… Were you reviewing the contract yesterday?”

Alyssa broke the silence.

However, that was not what Seidrick was looking for. He grabbed Alissa’s attention by tapping the desk with his finger.

“Alyssa. It doesn’t matter now.”

“….then what?”

There were still unresolved things interspersed between Seidrick and Alyssa.

Is he going to talk about it now?

It’s too early.

Alyssa didn’t sort out anything. Even the surroundings around her didn’t leave Alyssa alone; there was no time to leave her independently thinking about Seidrick. Besides, she still wasn’t quite sure what to do with Seidrick.

When she decides to leave, there isn’t just one or two holding Alyssa’s ankles.

Among them was Seidrick.

However, even if she stays here, the problem with Seidrick must be sorted out.

‘Not now….’

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Alyssa was going to turn her back. But Seidrick was quick.

“Alyssa. I have something to tell you.”

“…”

“I just wanted to say that I support you no matter what choice you make.”

“Seidrick.”

“…if you need my support.”

Seidrick laughed bitterly.

“The temple, the public opinion, and the royal knights. Even if many other people take you to the royal palace, I will follow your choice. If Alyssa doesn’t want to, don’t go. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to be king.”

“…Seidrick.”

Alyssa bit her lips tightly.

She didn’t know he would say this.

‘Oh, no.’

If it’s Sid.

Sid, who was Alyssa’s friend, could have said something like this. He said that he would always be by her side. How many times has she heard it? Alyssa’s pupils shook.

When she finds traces of Sid in Seidrick like this, it feels like her heart is shrinking.

Alyssa may have struggled to separate Seidrick Cambridge and the gardener Sid from Seidrick because she was afraid of getting hurt anymore.

She wouldn’t be comfortable leaving behind her beloved Sid, but if it were her husband, Seidrick, who had nothing to do with it, it seemed possible.

Alyssa was contained in the clear blue eyes under Seidrick’s blonde hair.

He realizes once again that all his efforts are in vain. The expression on her face as he comforted Alyssa and the voice whispering kindly to her remained the same.

It was a mess.

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