I Woke Up Piloting the Strongest Starship, so I Became a Space Mercenary

Translator: SFBaka

Editor: Thor’s Stone

Normally, it’s relatively tricky to target important modules such as the main thrusters and weapons of combat starships with pinpoint precision. However, it’s a different story if they were stationary. In particular, these ships busy with performing boarding actions on their victim were nothing more than sitting ducks.

『Sto…… Stooop!?』

“Do I look like an idiot who would stop just because you told me to?”

I swiftly got behind the pirate ships flanking the large passenger cruiser and destroyed their main thrusters with the heavy-caliber laser cannons. Their shields needed to be deactivated whenever they performed a boarding action, so right now, they were totally defenseless. After hitting them with a few laser cannon rounds, all their functions quickly ceased.

『Y-You bastards!? We still have passengers here. We got hostages, alright? Hostages!』

The pirate’s desperate pleas rang out from the comms. Hahaha, they sure can bark. No matter how much you guys cry out, we already destroyed your main thrusters, so you’re not going anywhere.

“Hey, did you guys hear that? It seems they got hostages inside.”

“Yeah, I heard it loud and clear. But so what?”

After seeing my grin, Elma readily played along. Mimi’s eyes opened wide in surprise, but I placed my index finger on my lips and made a shushing gesture. Nia just kept watching all the commotion with a grin on her face.

“So they’ll kill the hostages if we attack them further? Sure, they can go right ahead. They can kill as much as they want. If they do, then that just means their bounties are gonna shoot up and we’ll get even more money out of them.”

『Wha……!?』

“We’re mercenaries you know? We’re no allies of justice. So what if you have hostages? Are you guys idiots?”

“Even so, it’s not like we don’t feel anything. We still feel some form of remorse and indignation over this. We’ll make sure and catch you all alive later, so prepare yourselves.”

“Imperial law is quite strict when it comes to punishing villainous acts you know? They would return a hundred times the punishment for a single heinous crime.”

“In any case, you guys are already goners. Just surrender already. That would make it easier for all of us.”

『Goddammit!』

Ooh, someone’s angry. But regardless, I still took down all the weapons of the two medium-class pirate ships. Now, both of them are literally buck naked.

And so, Black Lotus finally arrived just as we finished setting everything up.

『I’m sorry to have kept you waiting, Master.』

“Perfect timing, Mei. Send in the military combat bots to the pirate ships that are flanking the passenger cruiser. After taking control of the pirate ships, have them move to the cruiser and take care of the remaining pirates.”

『Understood. I will have them equip non-lethal weapons.』

“Please do. Krishna will keep a look-out for possible reinforcements. Take command of the combat bots, Mei. And tell Tina and Whisker to begin salvage work.”

『Aye, aye, sir.』

I cut the call with Black Lotus after giving out my orders. The pirates also cut the call on their end earlier. I talked with Mei on an open channel after all. Since they heard that combat bots would be coming, I bet they are desperately preparing to intercept them right about now.

“Now, we just need to sit back and watch.”

“……Eh? You’re not going to board the pirate ship as well?”

Nia, who’d been grinning silently until now, finally spoke out. And it seems like she was actually grumbling a bit. As a response to Nia, I just shrugged my shoulders without getting up from the pilot seat.

“I’m not sure how many pirates are present over there, but since they have two ships, I’m assuming there are about thirty or so of them. On the other hand, we’ll be sending in ten state-of-the-art military combat bots, which would be overwhelming regardless of the fact that they’ll be wielding non-lethal weaponry. So there’s no need to purposefully take a risk if you have a better option available.”

“Eh…… But that won’t be worth filming at all.”

“I’ll tell you this straight, lady. I have absolutely no intention of risking my life just to let you have some good footage.”

In the first place, I paid a lot of money to purchase combat bots precisely for times like this. I’m referring to cases requiring countermeasures for boarding actions or performing boarding actions on the enemy ship ourselves.

After undergoing grueling training that caused me to spit out buckets of blood, I’ve become able to hold my own in a fight. However, I definitely won’t purposefully jump into a live battlefield with death rays flying all over the place if I can help it, regardless of wearing power armor or otherwise. If I can solve a problem with more effective means and only need to fork out some cash to get those means, then why not? That’s my opinion anyway.

“All of you, get ready for battle! Those damn tin cans are coming!”

Dammit! That bastard merc doesn’t give a damn about the hostages at all! I really thought about murderin the lot of them earlier, but I held back since we probably won’t be able to handle the consequences. In any case, we probably can’t escape being caught, but causing a bloodbath here would just make things worse for us.

If you’re treated as B-class criminals, then the most you can expect was a lifetime of hard labor. Depending on the circumstances, you might get the chance to breathe the air of freedom again. But if you commit an obvious slaughter, you’d definitely be labeled as an A-class criminal.

A-class criminals are totally deprived of human rights and often treated as biological test subjects for all sorts of experiments. I definitely don’t want to experience being treated like a damn expendable guinea pig by those crazy scientists.

It would be a mercy if you were just thrown naked inside a prototype med-pod and tossed into outer space to evaluate its performance. And you can also consider yourself lucky if you get slapped with an experimental VR device and end up getting your brain fried from overstimulation. The ones with truly terrible fates were those subjected to genetic modification experiments. Just thinking about those guys howling in pain with bodies damaged beyond repair while being kept ‘barely alive’ for data collection was enough to give me nightmares. I definitely don’t want to turn out like them.

“Boarding team! Don’t you dare make a mistake and kill any of the ‘goods’! You do that, and we’ll all end up as toys for those crazy scientists, you hear me!?”

I heard a frantic reply coupled with nasty swearing from the comms. In any case, for now, even if some of us somehow mess up, I might still be able to get myself spared from the worst punishment. I just finished saving the earlier convo in the ship logs when I heard a loud noise coupled with intense shaking. From the readings displayed on the console, it was caused by an attack by that damn merc. Wait, judging from the damage to the hull……? That was caused by a boarding pod penetrating our ship!

“Dammit! They’re here!”

I pulled out my laser gun from its holster and bolted out of the cockpit. Just wait! I’m gonna blast those tin can soldiers into scrap!

『Full control of the enemy ship, achieved.』

『Confirming damage caused by an EMP grenade attack. Damage, minor.』

『Cover. Succeeded in disabling two enemy combatants.』

『Completed full suppression of the enemy ship. Preparing for storming into the passenger cruiser.』

Reports were coming in one after another from the combat bots that rushed inside the two pirate ships. The ten combat bots were divided into two squads made up of five units. The two ships were then boarded by one squad each. We were just chilling out and spectating inside Krishna’s cockpit. Under Mei’s precise command, the combat bots neutralized the pirates with terrifying efficiency.

“They’re totally overwhelming the enemy, aren’t they……?”

“Well, of course. If not, then what was the use of spending 60,000 Enels for each of them?”

“But when you fought a combat bot on Sierra III, you managed to take it down easily, right, Hiro-sama?”

“Back then, the landing pod was intercepted halfway, and I managed to take it out quickly by hammering it with laser fire before it completely got activated. Besides, it was only one bot. It would have been really dangerous if all of them managed to activate and attacked us en masse.”

“I see. So that’s how it is.”

If you think about it, we do attract bad luck a lot, but we don’t really get dealt the worst card as well. Even so, it would be better if we didn’t get into trouble at all.

“What can I say? It sure is easy.”

“I spent a lot of money to buy the proper equipment in order to make things easy. We still haven’t made back our total investments yet.”

You can collect bounty rewards regardless of pirates being alive or dead, but if you catch them alive, you’d get a nice bonus. In other words, if you want to get maximum mileage out of pirate hunting, you’d need a mothership that can bring back all the loot as well as combat bots that can catch those pesky pirates by performing boarding actions.

Well, in order to obtain these things, you’d need to fork out a significant investment, so it would take quite some time for you to recoup it and start earning cleanly. But in the long run, it was more profitable than hunting pirates with a single small-class ship.

“I need more nice footage! We’re finally out on a civilian ship rescue mission, but there are no interesting scenes to film! I need something more interestiiing!”

“Don’t say something so unreasonable! Hey! Don’t snuggle up to me from behind! Don’t push your breasts up on the back of my head! We’re still in the middle of an operation, you idiot! I’m gonna toss you out to space if you don’t stop!”

“How noisy……”

“Ahaha……”

C’mon, you two. I can’t let go of the pilot stick, so could you guys peel this idiot off of me? Dammit. I’m gonna ban this woman from entering Krishna’s cockpit from now on. I’m not playing around here.

“We’ll be taking them away then.”

“Please.”

I waved goodbye to the imperial soldier who gave me a crisp salute as they brought away the pirates captured by the combat bots. We managed to get a lot of loot and data caches from the small-class ships we defeated and the two medium-class ships we captured, so depending on the contents, we’ll have to sell them off when we get back to Comatt Prime.

One of the medium-class ships we captured was towed back to the Comatt Prime colony by a unit belonging to the imperial space navy, so we towed the other with the Black Lotus and tossed the scrap and parts we looted off them inside the Lotus’s hangar.

With this, we managed to capture two medium-class and two small-class ships that we can sell away later. In addition, we’ll be receiving a bonus for catching the pirates alive along with the regular bounty rewards. We can also expect an honorarium for saving the passengers. Man, I just can’t help but laugh!

“I’m reflecting on my actions, so please have mercy.”

I completely ignored the woman who was performing a splendid dogeza beneath my feet. Just thank you lucky stars that I managed to stop myself from throwing you into outer space, lady.

“Yossha! My hands are itchin for some action!”

“Let’s do our best, big sis!”

The mechanic sisters were acting all fired up while in front of one of the small-class ships we managed to capture. Their eyes were shining with a predatory glint. They really loved messing around with starships as much as they liked. And the 10% cut they get from the sale of said ships probably provided an additional source of motivation for them as well.

“Nyaatoflix is out, so it’s now the turn of Fomalhaut Entertainment.”

“Hahahaha! Sorry about that!”

“Gugagigigigigi……”

Fomalhaut Entertainment’s Zuia shook his flashy flame-like fur and boarded Krishna while laughing heartily. Nia gazed at Zuia’s back with grudge-filled eyes. Perhaps she noticed me looking at them. Nia flashed me a blatantly fawning and flirtatious look. Un? What’s she up to now?

“I-I’ll be paying for my blunder with my body, so–”

“Nyaatoflix, five-point deduction.”

“Nuoooh!? Or rather, just when were we using a point system!?”

Trying to overtly use seduction tactics on me is a no-go. The other staff members of Nyaatoflix were making blank stares at Nia who just made my impression of her decrease to a new low. Can you just please honestly reflect on your actions?

But man. She’s still able to make a comedic retort even in this situation huh.

“Please remember that you’ll be invited to a luxury tour of outer space inside an escape pod once you get deducted ten points.”

“Yes……”

Nia’s shoulders dropped in dejection. Well, I’m only joking with the escape pod thing. The next time she tries something funny, I’ll just have her and her entire team disembark at the Comatt Prime colony.

“If you guys are thinking it should be okay since I let her off this once, you got another thing coming. Understood?”

“Hahaha, of course, we understand.”

“I have no intention of doing something like that in the first place.”

Space Dwerg’s Wamdo and Mobius Ring’s Allen both responded with a smile, but I didn’t miss them shaking guiltily for an instant at my words. Don’t underestimate the eyes of a seasoned starship pilot, you guys.