I'm A Spider, So What? (WN)

Blood 31 – Meanie

「Ugh, guah!」

During class I felt nauseous and hastily covered my mouth. Because I’ve been throwing up all the time recently, goshujin-sama has been muttering things like “puke girl” all the time. I don’t want to be called something so disgraceful.

「Sophia, is it happening again?」

While I’m desperately trying to hold back my vomit, the prince-like Waldo’s face shows up right in front of me. That’s when I reached my limit.

I’m now lying down on the bed in the school infirmary. Since I was scolded by Merazofis, I’ve frequently been in the care of the school infirmary. It’s not that my physical condition is poor, it’s completely a mental problem.

Starting with Waldo, it’s painful to even face the boys I had used Charm on. I don’t even know how I could dare to interact with them in the first place, as until recently I could only see them as my natural food, but I can’t do that anymore now that I regained my awareness as a human. Including my previous life, I have not had proper contact with others after all. Much less with boys.

I’ve already crossed the line so even I am wondering what I’m saying myself, but this is something I cannot avoid. The me at that time could only see them as things. I had no awareness of them being people. I used Charm on them as brainwashing and I treated them like things. Even if I do say so myself I’m the worst.

Because I’ve realised that, I’ve been completely avoiding them. The Charm skill in the set of Vampire skills, unlike the stand-alone Charm skill, is not actually that powerful. The reason why I was able to completely control them, was because there was just such a big difference in status values. However, now that I’ve stopped Charm and am keeping my distance, even they should be regaining their consciousness. Several of them have been able to separate from me already.

Yes, several of them. The problem lies with the ones who are still trying to get involved with me despite being cut off from Charm. Waldo is one of those. I don’t know what his aim is, but just by getting close to me I get anxious, so I wish he’d stop.

Just when things were starting to settle down, when I no longer seemed likely to be vomiting, goshujin-sama dropped a bomb on me. What the heck? The destruction of the world? And how to stop that? Even if you suddenly tell me about all that, what are you asking me to do? I really don’t have time for all that, so if you suddenly disclose a big problem to me on top of that, there’s nothing I can do about it.

The Divine Word Religion is certainly something I’ve thought about. If not for the war with the Divine Word Religion, my parents would never have died.

However, if you asked me if they would have been happy otherwise, I cannot give an immediate answer. I recall Merazofis’s words. Then, I wonder to myself, “Would my parents be proud of me as I am now?” The answer is, no. To them who were human, my way of life as a vampire is definitely not something that they could accept.

Then, if that war had never happened and I had been living with my parents still, what would have happened to me? Would I have been able to hide being a vampire and been able to live like a human? I don’t know. This is just a hypothetical argument after all, and with my meagre imagination not a single idea of such a scene comes to mind. No matter what I imagine, all I can come up with is my guise as a vampire.

At the end of the day, the truth of me being a vampire won’t be overturned. That it won’t overturned, is undeniable. There is no other way for the current me other than to be a vampire, something that I’ve accepted deep down. To put it bluntly, if I was asked whether I can still return to being human, I could never assent to that.

If the System goes away, my skills should also be lost. At such a time, my vampire skill would also be lost. Then, I would no longer be a vampire? I would become a mere human?

No thanks! That would no longer be me. I’m a vampire, so if I’m not a vampire then I’m not me.

However, if the System is not destroyed then the world will end anyway. If the world ends then I’d be dead too. Either I die, or I stop being a vampire.

That’s, not really a choice. What can I do then.

Due to lack of sleep my consciousness has become dim. Even though I have Faint Resistance, there’s still limits. Thanks to Sense of Pain Nullity I can ignore my bad physical condition somewhat, but since blood is mixed in every time I vomit it’s certain that I have a perforated stomach. Even if I say so for myself, my brain has totally gone to mush.

Ahh, I want to drink blood. Since then I haven’t drank a single drop of blood. I’m a True Ancestor, so even if I don’t drink blood I won’t die anyway, and my status values won’t drop either. However, it’s a matter of my feelings. If I don’t drink blood, then it’s like a human who subsists only on raw nutrients. Though you can live that way, there’s no joy. Even if there’s no influence on my status values, if I don’t drink then I get irritated and can’t settle down.

「Feeling any better?」

It was only when I was spoken to that I noticed that there was a person next to the bed. Even if I feel bad that’s so careless of me.

「I’m fine.」

I reply while pretending to be calm. When I look up, as I expected, I see Waldo.

「That’s a lie. Nobody would accept that when you have such a pale face.」

Waldo leans forwards and looks into my eyes. Not only that, but he puts his hand on the bed, as if to block me from trying to escape.

「What do you think you’re doing?」

「Don’t you want to drink blood?」

I couldn’t avoid twitching in response. I’d was actually thinking that just now after all. That after Waldo has been cut off from my Charm, it seems that he’s noticed my real identity.

My throat gulps. The boy in front of me seems like he’s a sweet and delicious fruit. Due to my enhanced five senses, the scent of Waldo’s sweat, his slightly raised body temperature, and even the sound of his racing heart can be heard. Even though he’s cut off from Charm, it seems that Waldo is still weak to me.

「If it’s you, I don’t mind giving you everything.」

At those words my rationality burnt away.

「Now I’ve really done it.」

Rather than returning to the dormitories, we’ve snuck out from the campus and come to the mansion where goshujin-sama stays.

「I’m feeling really refreshed.」

Waldo smiles widely while saying that. Out of his mouth, long canines are peeking out. Yeah, I’ve really done it. In my overenthusiasm I sucked too much blood.

If your blood is sucked by a vampire then you become a vampire. That being said, just being sucked is not enough to turn you into a vampire. To become a vampire, then either the vampire who is sucking the blood has to think about wanting a retainer while doing the bloodsucking or you must expire after a lethal dose of blood is sucked. Either of those requirements must be satisfied. In this case, because I hadn’t done any bloodsucking for so long, I accidentally sucked too much blood. Thanks to that, Waldo is now a proper vampire.

「You’re the son of a noble family aren’t you!? If you become a vampire, that’s obviously going to be a problem!」

What the heck am I doing by piling on new problems when I’m already inundated with problems!? Argh, really!? What should I do!?

「Shut up.」

While I’m writing in agony, I was kicked by goshujin-sama. I want to cry.