I'm A Spider, So What? (WN)

K2 The last obstinacy of a man

Author note: Kanata's point of view

Why did it become like this?

I look at the other me in an absentminded consciousness.

The other me shoots magic toward Shun without hesitation.

Together with the soldiers around me.

My magic doesn't work on Shun.

Originally, there was a difference in talent between me and Shun.

Even if the difference was small when we were still small, the difference became big as we grow.

I have also been jealous of that talent.

But, I came to respect Shun purely when I see him who continue to put efforts earnestly.

Ah, come to think of it, this guy was a guy who will dash without hesitation if he has an aim since the previous life.

Although he was absorbed in game in the previous life, in this world now, the aim is his older brother, Julius-san who's the Hero.

He was already talented, and the result of continuing to put efforts with a higher aim was the scene in front of me.

The Flame Magic that I shot is the annihilation-type magic that burns a wide range.

Although it doesn't have the power like the great magic, still, the damage becomes serious if it's shot at a group.

Shun offsets it with magic, and even protected the enemy soldiers in the surroundings, making the damage to 0.

He's a good-natured guy like a fool with absurd skills as usual

I can only say that he's a fool to protect the enemy purposely.

Although I tried to smile wryly, I showed a hateful expression against my will.

「Katia! Return to sanity!」

「You are noisy. I am sane. A rebel should just be punished obediently like a rebel」

The things that I don't think of goes out from my mouth.

But, I know.

That I myself is the one who tell these words.

There was a lot of such sign since childhood.

My previous life is a man.

In this world, I'm a woman.

I live as a woman while having the mind of a man.

Such odd me.

Like water and oil, there was something that didn't mix somewhere.

The gap deepen steadily as I grow.

I was attracted to the cute accessory that I ignored in my previous life.

Even though I shouldn't have liked sweet things, it became my favorite.

I felt nothing even if I see a woman's body.

I had my first period like it was natural.

It became natural that menses came.

My chest swells and my figure became like a woman too.

It's not only my body.

The inside also gradually changed.

Before even I myself notice.

The decisive one is when Shun was attacked by Yuugo.

At that time, I was upset to the extent that even I don't know.

The moment I thought that Shun might be killed, my front starts to become pure white.

At first, I thought that Shun is my best friend from the previous life, and it can be said that he's already my one and only best friend.

But, when I meet Shun afterwards, my feelings can't calm down.

Even I myself don't know what the feelings are.

However, I thought that I didn't want to lose Shun strongly.

That feeling became strong day by day.

My feelings won't calm down when I'm close to Shun.

And yet, when Shun is not close to me, I feel lonely and can't calm down.

My feeling won't calm down even if I'm close to him or not.

I was puzzled over such unstable feelings.

I was swung around by my incomprehensible feelings.

No.

I actually knew what the feelings were.

However, there was only the mind that I didn't want to accept it.

I who was a man originally.

I'm now a woman.

Perhaps, my heart have definitely broke recently.

My heart splits whenever I see Sue and Yuri cling to Shun.

Despite that, there's the me who doesn't accepts it.

The contradicting heart's conflict.

But, the balance had already inclined.

My mind depends on my body.

In other words, it's such a thing.

Therefore, I who's looking at my fight with Shun is only the remainder of the existence called Ooshima Kanata.

The remainder that has a man's mind.

Perhaps, because I was a man, the Charm that Yuugo cast didn't work on me.

After that incident, although I didn't tell Shun, I applied a strict watch on Yuugo.

I build a monitoring system with my Duke house initiation, I checked his actions in detail everyday.

Although it should be like that, a suspicious point can be seen in the report after sometime.

I use a trustworthy man for monitoring.

There's no way that he will betray.

And yet, the contents that can only be think as false started to be mixed in the report.

I changed the monitoring person.

If I think about it now, that was not good.

Shun inherited the Hero title and left the academy.

The change from there was instant.

At first, Yuri's state became strange.

Yuri who should have been devoted to the Divine Word Religion stopped telling such story.

Next is Sue.

It was clear that she will be depressed because Shun left the academy, but unbelievably, she became lively.

Something begins to go amiss.

Even though I recognize it like that, I don't know the cause.

I understood it after I was called by the people of the Duke house who were monitoring Yuugo, entrapped, and I was brainwashed by Yuugo.

At this time, most of the people of the Duke house have already brainwashed by that guy.

And, now I end up fighting with Shun.

Yuugo's brainwash is dreadful.

It can be said that having normal consciousness like this is a miracle.

Surely, the other brainwashed guys must love and respect Yuugo from the bottom of their hearts.

Even if I have my consciousness like this, there's nothing I can do.

The me who's a remainder can do nothing.

But.

That doesn't means that I have to give up!

In a man, there's a thing called as a man's pride!

I shouted to my absentminded thought.

At the moment my outer consciousness concentrates on magic construction, I interrupt the construction with all my power.

The magic explodes.

「Katia!?」

Shun rushes over in surprise.

I'm caught just before I fall to the ground.

But, I understand that my life is ending.

This is fine.

The outer me should have also wished for this.

The desperate face of Shun is reflected in my blurred sight.

What a terrible face.

I laugh incidentally.

Unlike a while ago, my cheek rises according to my will.

If I can die laughingly, I'm satisfied.

And, my consciousness sinks as it is into the abyss.

I'm pulled forcibly by a warm light.

「Ah, Shun?」

「Katia, did you return to sanity?」

「Huh? My...wound?」

There's no wound that I should have received by the magic explosion.

「I cured it」

Shun who says it easily.

I certainly thought that I died.

「You..are...an..absurd..guy..as...usual」

「Don't talk anymore now. We will escape from here」

I'm lifted with a princess carry.

At that moment, my heart throbs to the extent that I thought it was going to explode.

Even though it's such a situation, my face flushes.

Ah, this is bad.

It's already bad.

At this moment, Ooshima Kanata became Carnatia Seri Anabald in a true meaning.