I’m Not the Final Boss’ Lover

Chapter 92: Retrospection

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Chapter 92 - Retrospection

The mental condition of the Green Spirits survivor was worse than expected. He began to inflict self-harm and, as time went on, began to see and hear things. The man couldn’t go on being an expedition member, and he was completely devoid of the will to do so. Depression was contagious. Contaminated by melancholy, Nochtentoria Castle was quieter than usual.

“Jun Karentia. Do you have time in the evening?” Mayer asked.

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“What? I do have time, but…”

“Then why not share a drink with me? I am in the mood for some drinking tonight.”

I pondered Mayer’s suggestion for a moment. Drinking with him meant I could have expensive alcohol I’d normally be unable to afford. On the other hand, a lot of things held me back, including the recent kissing. I wanted to avoid being alone with him whenever possible, but the power of expensive liquor was too great. In the end, the scales in my heart tilted toward it. Besides, I didn’t feel I could bear with not drinking on a day like this. Could that be why Mayer was calling me over?

As always, the captain was unable to bring himself to speak until he had downed a few shots. He rubbed a hand down his face and let out a sigh. “The Green Spirits’ squad leader, Umbra… was a good person. She was indecisive, but she knew how to call the shots when necessary.” His eyes lost their focus for a brief moment as he thought of his comrade. He chewed over his own words while swirling his glass of liquor before chuckling all of a sudden. “I think I said the same for Wipera, but I mean it for Umbra.”

“I heard. That she sacrificed herself to save a new squad member…” I replied, recalling what I overheard about Umbra during the memorial service. Umbra had been one of the two elites under Mayer I didn’t get to meet as they were out on dungeon raids. I had never heard of her in the first playthrough. “…Is this a different conclusion from the first playthrough?” I asked cautiously.

“It is… similar. And that is what makes it harder to take.” Mayer downed another glass. He didn’t show any color on his face, but I could tell the drink was starting to get to him by the slight slur in his voice. “It was a complete failure back then. There were no survivors. So I was the one to close that dungeon in the end.”

“…If you knew, then why didn’t you go yourself?”

“I could not. The dungeon opening times overlapped.” He laughed, but the sound was bitter. I thought back to when the Green Spirits were dispatched and realized it was right before I met Mayer. Apprehensive, I asked, “By opening times… Do you mean it was because of me?”

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“Not you, but me. I was the one who gave the order.”

“…So it is because of me. To meet me in the dungeon I was in… Right?”

Mayer filled his empty glass in silence, not answering. It turned out I was involved most unexpectedly. Feeling a phantom weight press against my chest, I downed a glass myself. I wished for the fire of liquor to burn away this weight, but I still felt suffocated.

“At first, I considered giving the order to bring you while I went to the other dungeon. But giving an abrupt order to rescue a support mage somewhere in a dungeon? Putting aside that it would seem suspicious… I felt uneasy. And the rescue could have suffered a setback as you might have, due to unforeseen circumstances, harbored hostility against the Dark Knights… And that wasn’t even the worst scenario. If you were to end up dying…” He trailed off.

I could understand his concerns, although I did wonder if it wasn’t excessive. For example, Axion, who didn’t have a good first impression of me. I wouldn’t have even had the chance to show my capability. I tried to imagine what could’ve happened with Mayer giving a sudden order to save a support mage. At first glance, I would’ve seemed useless and someone without the slightest connection to the captain… To top it off, it was a wonder whether the ones tasked with that mission would have managed to reach the dungeon in time. Without their captain there to rush them, what if they hadn’t arrived soon enough? In reality, had Mayer been delayed even a little, I would’ve died to that cyclops. Just like that, I would’ve croaked before the second playthrough had even begun. It was meaningless speculation now, but the thought alone was chilling.

“A mere moment of hesitation can end up killing people. I feared that would happen to you. And, as you know, I honestly cannot trust others too much. It is a separate matter from acknowledging someone’s ability. I cannot rest easy unless I solve the most important things myself.” Mayer fidgeted with his glass, which was the same as mine yet it looked remarkably smaller in his hand. Like a man facing his sin, he continued in a clear voice. “Yes. I gave up on Umbra. To gain a little more certainty in slaying the demon lord…”

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I’m Not the Final Boss’ Lover

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