I'm Really a Superstar

Chapter 1345: ‘The Five Senses Claim Credit’ gets sent into battle!

Translator: Legge Editor: Legge

The Spring Festival Gala continued.

The entire world’s Chinese population was trembling in excitement.

At this point in time of the past Spring Festival Galas, many people would be feeling tired due to their circadian rhythm and the time difference overseas. There were viewers who couldn’t finish watching the event, or catch the ringing in of the new year as they went to bed early. However, it was different this year. It was getting quite late, but the eyes of the viewers were still beaming. No one was willing to turn their gaze away from the television, not a single person!

It was too exciting!

This year’s Spring Festival Gala was a fucking drug!

They couldn’t look away once they started watching it!

Hurry up, what other acts are there?

Hurry, hurry, hurry, we can’t wait anymore!

That’s right, what about the crosstalk? We’re already halfway through the Spring Festival Gala, but why hasn’t there been a crosstalk yet?

The language acts had always been the most anticipated acts for everyone. Up until now, almost all of the acts had been presented. Dancing, singing, acrobatics, magic, skits, and so on and so forth. Only the crosstalks had yet to make an appearance. A lot of people were waiting for this moment to arrive.

…

On TV.

The hosts were making announcements.

Finally, the first crosstalk arrived!

This was what the Spring Festival Gala was like. It needed to work on the bigger picture, and the flow had to be right as well. Earlier, the “Thousand-Hand Guanyin” and “Spring Days” had cheated many of their tears. As a result, they couldn’t keep them constantly immersed in a feeling of sadness and would have to bring out a language act to relax the atmosphere. And bringing out a comedy at this moment was particularly critical and an even harder task. If it wasn’t a strong enough act, it would have a hard time meeting the expectations of the audience. It would be really difficult to pull them out of the emotions the previous performances induced.

As to that, Zhang Ye had naturally taken it into account.

He was extremely confident in this act!

…

In the crosstalk world.

In a small circle’s group chat.

“Those performers are way too spineless!”

“Hmmph, we can let it slide regarding that youngster Little Hu, but why did Old Liu and Old Li get pacified by Zhang Ye too? They really have no backbone!”

“This olive branch was offered to them by the Spring Festival Gala, so did you think they could reject it?”

“Old Liu and Old Li also did not clash with Zhang Ye back then. It seems like they were the smart ones by not participating in the denouncement of Zhang Ye by the crosstalk world.”

“Let’s see just what kind of a crosstalk they can come up with.”

“It won’t be good for sure.”

“Hur hur, as if Zhang Ye could come up with a traditional script for the crosstalk!”

“Yeah, Zhang Ye’s scripts are all too vulgar. They aren’t good enough for the professional stage!”

…

Online.

Quite a few people were also discussing this.

“The crosstalk is here!”

“I’ve been waiting for such a long time!”

“The crosstalk script is provided by Zhang Ye as well?”

“Yeah, it’s all by him.”

“Will it be any good?”

“Uh, all of Zhang Ye’s crosstalks seem to be a bit—”

“Yeah, how could he possibly know how to come up with a script for a Spring Festival Gala crosstalk?”

“Who knows?”

“Does this crosstalk have five, six people in it? How can they perform that way?”

“This is this year’s first crosstalk. Let’s see how it goes.”

However, everyone was deeply shocked the moment the crosstalk was broadcast live on television!

…

On TV.

The info box 1 appeared.

The famous crosstalk actor, Li Xiangqi, appeared onstage with a laugh.

He was a chubby man and had a jolly demeanor about him. His appearance would make anyone feel like laughing.

Li Xiangqi was playing the role of the ” head 2 ” today.

Head: “Ai, let me tell everyone about something. I had a dream last night, and this dream was especially strange. I dreamed about my five senses, from—”

Eyes: “Yo! Head.”

Head: “What?”

Eyes: “Haha! Haha!”

Head: “Hello, hello!”

Eyes: “Do you remember me?”

Head: “I dare not say I do! May I know what your surname is?”

Eyes: “My surname is Eye.”

Head: “Wait…what?”

Eyes: “Eye.”

Head: “Does your surname exist in the Hundred Family Surnames 3 ?”

Eyes: “It’s on the first line in the list.”

Head: “Where is it mentioned?”

Eyes: “Zhào, Qián, Sūn, Yǎn (Yǎn being Eye).”

Head: “Never heard of that before! Zhào, Qián, Sūn, Yǎn? Zhào, Qián, Sūn, Lǐ!”

Eyes: “Ah, Zhōu, Wú, Zhèng, Yǎn!”

Head: “Zhōu, Wú, Zhèng, Wáng.”

Eyes: “Féng, Chén, Chǔ, Yǎn.”

Head: “Stop poking around already! Aren’t you afraid that you’ll poke yourself blind?”

Eyes: “No, I…”

Head: “What’s your name?”

Eyes: “I’m Eyes.”

Head: “Eyes?”

Eyes: “Ai, that’s right!”

Head: “Aiya, who would be called something like that? Ah?”

Eyes: “Then what do you call this part of yours?”

Head: “Don’t touch me! If you damage them, where am I supposed to get a replacement?”

Eyes: “So what do you call this part?”

Head: “These are my eyes.”

Eyes: “Well, I am your eyes.”

Soon after, the five senses came out onto the stage one by one and started a heated debate!

…

The live audience:

“Hahahahaha!”

“Aiyo, I can’t take this anymore!”

“I’m dying of laughter!”

“My stomach is cramping up!”

“Hahahahaha!”

…

At Zhang Ye’s maternal grandma’s house.

His mother was clutching her stomach and was bent over from laughing.

His three sisters were staggering back and forth in laughter.

“Pfft!”

“Hahahaha!”

“That was so funny!”

“Our brother is too godly!”

…

Online.

“Awesome!”

“I’ve to take my hat off to this crosstalk!”

“Me too, I’m convinced!”

“There wasn’t any Internet slang used, but it’s still really funny to watch!”

“This format is quite novel too! But the language used and gags are still the traditional type!”

“Zhang Ye actually knows how to write traditional gags too? And he can even write them so well?”

“Yeah, I thought he only knew how to write those vulgar gags like he did in the past!”

“Hahahahaha, this is so enjoyable to watch! This crosstalk is amazing!”

“So a traditional crosstalk can be this funny too!”

“Zhang Ye has smacked the face of the crosstalk world!”

“Aiyo, it’s so funny that I’m crying!”

…

The crosstalk world was blanketed with silence.

Tang Dazhang’s face was sunken and he did not speak a word.

The other traditional crosstalk actors who did not make it to the Spring Festival Gala had their faces turn green with anger!

They did not get to see what they wanted to see!

How was this possible!

Zhang Ye wrote this?

So he was even capable of writing this sort of script?

So it turned out that it wasn’t that he couldn’t write something that would be good enough for a large-scale gala?!

The format was novel!

The idea was outstanding!

The points of laughter were frequent!

It was positive and healthy!

Even those people from the crosstalk world who were biased against him couldn’t find any fault with this crosstalk of Zhang Ye’s—which was most shocking to them!

…

In the production control room.

Little Wang was clapping in admiration. She whispered, “This crosstalk is hilarious. I would die laughing each time I watched it!”

Ha Qiqi also quietly said, “Yeah, it’s such a novelty.”

When Zhang Ye who next to them heard their whispers, he couldn’t help but feel amused. Novel? If they knew that this crosstalk was actually an extremely old performance from the Spring Festival Gala decades ago in his previous world, he wondered what their expressions would look like.

Zhang Ye had pondered over which crosstalk to use for this year’s Spring Festival Gala for a very long time. He had written out the acts one after another but also rejected them one after another. He didn’t find them to be suitable at all. Finally, he clenched his teeth and brought out this masterful piece to help hold this Spring Festival Gala together!

Master Ma Ji.

“The Five Senses 4 Claim Credit.”

This act saw a stunning debut today and won great cheers from the audience!