I'm Really a Superstar

9:45.

The exterior door to the recording studio finally opened.

Here, the doors that led from the office corridors straight into the recording studio were called interior doors. This was the entrance for employees. The door that blocked the passageway that led from the hall to the recording studio was called an exterior door. The audience was led by the staff into Studio 7.

“Wow!”

“The decorations are pretty good!”

“This stage is quite cool!”

“Is that Zhang Ye?”

“It’s him, it’s him! I’ve seen him in person!”

The moment the crowd entered, a few girls began praising.

The stage design was naturally Zhang Ye’s work. He had referenced the stages from his world’s “Tonight 80’s Talkshow” and “Mr. Zhou Live Show”.

The audience was seated, and the nearly hundred seats were quickly filled up.

At this moment, from the employee passage, Dong Shanshan came in, late. When she entered, she glanced at Zhang Ye and gave him a sexy smile of encouragement.

“Shanshan, here.” Zhang Han, who had a good relationship with her, waved.

Dong Shanshan sat in the second row. Zhang Han had already reserved a seat for her.

Zhang Ye took a deep breath and said into the microphone, “All are stations ready?”

“Lighting is good.”

“Cameras are okay!”

“The audience is here. Close the doors!”

Everyone responded as they were ready to go.

Zhang Ye nodded, “Alright, then we’ll begin in a minute. Make your preparations!”

Sister Four had recorded quite a few programs, so she was quite professional. She reminded Zhang Ye, “Teacher Little Zhang, let’s record the smiles and applause of the audience first. Take the lead.”

However, Zhang Ye smiled. “There’s no need, Sister Four. That would be too fake.”

Sister Four exclaimed, “Fake? But, everyone does that.”

Zhang Ye was particularly concerned with professional conduct, “If everyone wants to laugh, they will naturally laugh. If they don’t want to, there’s no point in forcing it.”

Sister Four said helplessly, “Alright then. You are the person in charge. We’ll follow your lead.”

The time had already begun counting down. The audience was still chatting, seemingly listless. They were not that interested in the program.

“What are you looking at?”

“Hai, the stocks have fallen again!”

“You are speculating, too? Me, too. The crash during these past few days has been terrible. It’s green* all day! My heart has already turned cold watching it! How can it drop so much?”

“Hey, isn’t this Old Zhang? You also got a ticket? What a coincidence. Did you drive here? Give me a lift later?”

“I didn’t drive. Isn’t there some green campaign now? The news said that the foreigners don’t drive and only take public transport. I also want to emulate it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Damn, actually it was because there was a jam!”

“Hahaha! That’s true. If you drove, you wouldn’t even be here by 11!”

“Let’s keep it quiet; the program is beginning soon.”

“So what if it begins? I’m already regretting coming here. Didn’t you hear? This program has been cursed terribly on the internet. Everyone says it’s bad!”

“Yeah, I don’t think it will work either.”

“I’ve heard so many jokes. What can be new!?”

“That’s right. Will he be able to sprout flowers from his jokes? I really don’t believe he can!”

“The chatter on the internet is right. What talk show? All I see is a joke show. What does it mean to talk? I really can’t tell!”

The audience muttered. It was unknown what agenda some people had. The moment that they came, they leaned back in their seats and slept. They did not look like they had any expectations.

Seeing the audience’s reaction, Zhang Ye laughed without a word.

The company’s Leaders and Dong Shanshan, Ah Qian and Little Yu were all somewhat worried. If a few people did not think highly of it, it was still fine, but for nearly all the audience to hardly look forward to it? This was abnormal. Did it indicate that the program itself had a major design flaw from the onset? They were sighing deeply in their hearts. The other rival web hosts did not care how bad Zhang Ye’s program was, but as Zhang Ye’s old classmate, Dong Shanshan was naturally more worried and concerned than others.

Three…

Two…

One…

The countdown came to an end!

The program officially started!

Shua! The screen behind Zhang Ye started broadcasting a video clip!

“You only smell my cologne, but didn’t see my sweat. You have your rules, I have my choices. You deny my existence, I decide my future…..”

This had been seen a countless number of times by the audience. These days, anyone who watched a video would see the commercial, “I’ll speak for myself” at the beginning. It gave a rush the first time one watched it, but anyone would turn numb towards it by the tenth view. Hence, when they saw this, those members of the audience who were already dozing off became even sleepier!

But at the end, a reversal happened!

“I am Zhang Ye, I’ll speak for myself!”

Zhang Ye poured a bag of salt into his mouth. The caption was shattered and replaced by—”I’ll feed a bag of salt to myself”!

A girl burst out into laughter seeing this. A few members of the audience lit up too. This was quite a modest surprise for them. Some felt it was very funny, but there were people who didn’t find it especially funny. But it was humorous. It made people unable to help but curve their lips!

A good clip!

This clip was amazing!

The next moment, those people who were dozing sat up with a start. This new program seemed to interest them a little!

With the clip ending, the scene was cut to the studio.

There was no one onstage. Zhang Ye had already gone backstage.

Then a voice was heard. It was clearly Zhang Ye’s voice, “Alright, let us welcome our famous host… Zhang Ye!”

“Hahaha!”

“Pfft!”

“Why is he welcoming himself!?”

Many people were tickled. Even Wang Bei and Ah Qian began to crack up!

The curtains were drawn apart. Zhang Ye walked forward from backstage and waved to everyone, “Hello, everyone. I am Zhang Ye. Thank you, thank you. This is live from ‘Zhang Ye’s Talk Show’. Welcome, everyone!” Then he added on, “Parentheses, there should be a thunderous round of applause here!”

“Yi!”

“Yi!”

The audience humored him and began responding. “Yi” was a universal language. It was often heard from the audience in cross-talk.

Wang Xiong lost his composure and laughed, “This Little Zhang!”

The audience gave him face as they really applauded!

Seeing the audience and the brilliant stage, Zhang Ye was feeling very excited. This was his new territory and his new program. He wanted to do it well, and he also had to do it well. Seeing the atmosphere liven up, Zhang Ye cut to the chase. He struck while the iron was still hot and began his monologue performance. He held a few cards in his hand. They were of all sized and this was a setting and joke segment from “Bao Zou Big News Events”. Zhang Ye felt it was not bad, so he brought it here.

“After I left the television station, many friends were worried about the future. They even ran a ‘Help Zhang Ye find a job’ campaign. Thank you, everyone. Now, you can see that this is my new job and program. Just now, a few members of the stage staff passed me a few letters from my fans. I’ll read them out and let’s see what sort of sincere interest and concern my passionate fans have sent me!”

Letters from fans?

When did that happen? Who sent you letters? And even the concern from passionate fans? Wang Xiong and Zhang Ye’s colleagues were filled with wonder!

Zhang Ye took out the first card and read it with his head lowered, “Let’s look at the first fan. The tenderness when you bend your head low. He said this, ‘Zhang Ye! Your sister! Why haven’t you freaking come out with a new program!? Do you not freaking believe I will smash your glass, asshole!?” Zhang Ye stopped and threw the card away. He dryly smiled. “The concern and passion the fans have for me really touches me! Thank you, thank you!”

Everyone burst out into laughter!

Concern, your sister!

He was clearly cursing you!

Zhang Ye read the next one, “The second letter is a self-proclaimed die-hard fan. He said this, ‘Zhang Ye! If you are not producing a new program this weekend, I’ll die!'”. Zhang Ye wiped his sweat off his brow and then stared into the camera in a daze, “This letter was sent a month ago! We just received it yesterday. Then… Sorry, my die-hard brother. After prolonged consideration, I really do not have the courage to get back to you.”

“Hahaha!”

The audience erupted into laughter again!

Dong Shanshan slapped her thigh and was overjoyed!

Zhang Ye carried on reading, “The third letter. Wow, this was sent by a female fan…” Zhang Ye then appeared to read excitedly with his head lowered, “I! Really! Want! To! Have! A! Baby! With! You! Zhang Ye!”

The audience exclaimed!

“Wow!”

Saying that, Zhang Ye’s expression turned blank and then carried on reading with a weak tone, “…Please pass these words…to Teacher Dong Shanshan!”

Audience: “Hahahaha!”

The camera immediately focused on Dong Shanshan!

Dong Shanshan was stunned and then burst into laughter. Why was I even included in this?

Wang Bei, who was beside her, began to slapping the armrest while laughing, “Aiyah! I’m so amused!”

Zhang Ye looked with a speechless manner at the letter. He made a move. He began tearing the card in front of the camera with his teeth, ripping off the words “Please pass these words to Teacher Dong Shanshan” bit by bit. This was something that did not exist in “Bao Zou Big News Events”. It was an improv that Zhang Ye added himself. He then gave a wretched smile and cleared his throat. He looked up again and read it again, “…I really want to have a baby with you! Zhang Ye!” Then he threw up his hands and sighed, “Hai, the fans nowadays are way too passionate! Too passionate!”

“Yi!”

“Yi!”

The audience burst into laughter!

He was too shameless! Haha!

Where’s your bottom line!? Exactly where is your bottom line!?

Zhang Ye ignored the response of the audience and then carried on flipping to a new card in a calm manner, “Oh, there’s another fan who says this. Teacher Zhang Ye, I really like your hosting style. Well, can you help me pass this message to Teacher Dong Shanshan…” Upon reading this, Zhang Ye immediately tore up the card and threw it away, pretending like he had never read it before. “Hur hur hur hur. Alright, let’s cut all this useless stuff and focus on our main topic!”

Dong Shanshan looked at Zhang Ye at a loss as whether to laugh or to cry.

“Aiyah!”

“I can’t take it anymore!”

“Hilarious!”

“It’s so freaking hilarious!”

The audience reaction was intense!

*In China, stocks prices are indicated by green and red, but the colors are inverted from the West. Red, which is an auspicious color in Chinese culture, represents the stock price rising. Green represents the stock price decreasing.