I'm Really a Superstar

The atmosphere in the studio was getting high!

The viewers who were watching from home were all giving their kudos!

Zhang Ye’s continual waves of joke segments had brought everyone’s mood to the peak. Whether they watched the broadcast live or watched the recording live, the audience was filled with joy and appeased. Except for a minority, most people in the country did not have good impressions or even bad impressions of the Koreans. Their nation was too loud. One moment, this was theirs. Another moment, that was theirs too. They had brought up so many issues, everyone already hated them to the bone. In the past, the domestic media only protested a little here and there. At most, the domestic variety programs poked a little fun at these matters and nothing more. It didn’t make much impact, until today. The situation had completely changed!

This country now had a program called “Zhang Ye’s Talk Show”!

This country now had a guy who dared to openly speak and his name was Zhang Ye!

Zhang Ye, who was neither afraid of the heavens or the earth, had started scolding the Koreans from the beginning to almost the end of this episode!

Di Di.

Below the stage, Feng Guiqin had received a message from the company’s technical department. She lowered her head to read and broke into a smile.

“What’s the matter, Director Feng?” Wang Xiong asked.

Feng Guiqin waved her cellphone, “The online viewer data has been calculated.”

The old man on the other side asked, “How many are there?”

Feng Guiqin smiled. “There’s currently a total of 2.9 million people watching online and this figure is steadily increasing!”

When the old man and Wang Xiong both heard this, as did some colleagues who were seated around them, everyone secretly took a deep, breath of cool air!

Thinking back about the first episode of “Zhang Ye’s Talk Show”, it had only hit 2 million some time after the broadcast had ended, but for this live broadcast, just the online viewers right now numbered close to 3 million? Are you f**king headed for 10 million views for this episode? What would 10 million views mean? No one even dared to think about it! This new program by Teacher Zhang Ye wasn’t just the highest viewed program for its debut episode on WebTV, it was also the first live broadcasted program! With these 2 accolades, it was even going for the record of highest average views for a WebTV program episode?

“How much more do we have left?” Feng Guiqin asked.

Wang Xiong looked at his watch, “There’s still about 6-7 minutes left.”

Feng Guiqin nodded, “There shouldn’t be a problem crossing the 3 million viewer mark. After 24 hours, this episode should easily hit 10 million views!”

……

On Weibo.

The program had been broadcasted for over 20 minutes now. It was spreading like wildfire online. Perhaps some people who didn’t pay attention to or didn’t like entertainment programs would never actively try to understand, but being the provoker of this incident — Lee Parkwoo could not possibly not know. Even if he didn’t pay attention, even if he did not know Chinese, his manager or translator would definitely tell him!

Then, Lee Parkwoo’s Weibo after being silent for a long time finally posted, “With regards to the abuse and personal attacks, it has caused me much emotional distress. I retain the right to take legal action!” Even a fool could see that this post was directed towards Zhang Ye.

His brainless fans responded because of this!

“Zhang Ye, go to hell!”

“How dare you anger our Lee Parkwoo!”

“Zhang Ye! You dumb pig! You will receive retribution!”

“Right! Pursue legal responsibilities! Sue him in court!”

“The words that Zhang Ye says is so irksome! It makes me want to grit my teeth with hate! How can he say that about our Lee Parkwoo!? What’s wrong with Korea? Korea is better than the People’s Republic of China in every way!”

Another wave of people began to fight back.

“A bunch of braindead fans!”

“There’s no way of communicating with them!”

“Korea is good? Then go to Korea! Hurry and get lost!”

“Do you people even know who was the first one to instigate matters? It was the Lee Parkwoo you worship and respect! He was the first to slander Zhang Ye by saying that he could not possibly go off script for such a long time, that he was faking it and had a teleprompter, but what were the facts? As everyone has seen in this live broadcast of “Zhang Ye’s Talk Show”, the number of cameras were clear for all to see. There was no teleprompter, nor did Zhang Ye wear an earpiece. It was also impossible he had someone hold up a script for him. In the 20 minutes, he depended on his own strength and experience to go fully unscripted for the whole show! Yes, there might not be many hosts with such strengths, but Zhang Ye is one of them. Zhang Ye could do this! So what are you all blabbering on for? Want to sue Zhang Ye? Don’t make me laugh. If there’s any suing to be done, it should be Zhang Ye suing Lee Parkwoo for slander and personal attacks instead! It shouldn’t be Lee Parkwoo, the guilty party, doing the suing!”

……

Center stage.

Zhang Ye was enjoying everyone’s cheering and applause.

The audience was all looking forward to more with their eyes wide open. Although they knew the program was almost at an end, they still hoped that Zhang Ye would say a little more, scold a little more. They truly got a kick out of it just by watching !

But it seemed like Zhang Ye did not have anymore to say, “With the newfound knowledge about Kimchi, let’s move on to other matters.”

The audience clearly looked disappointed. Talk about other things? Not talking about the Koreans anymore?

In the end, Zhang Ye said, “Forget it, talking about other things is not as interesting. Let’s continue talking about Korea!”

“Hahahaha!” The audience members whistled, “Yi! !”

Sure enough, Zhang Ye did not disappoint. After so many cursing segments, he still did not hold back. This was the outcome of offending Zhang Ye. This fellow was too vengeful and didn’t like to lose. You scold me once? Then I will scold you ten times!

Only for Zhang Ye to continue hooting, “Recently, I was met with an incident. As all of you know, I am now famous. Many people are now paying attention to me.” his eyes looking cocky.

“Yi!”

“Haha!”

Zhang Ye spread opened his arms, “But two days ago, I heard news from Korea that said: ‘Zhang Ye ah, you are also a Korean-seumida’. I was so shocked at that moment, did you know? That can’t be, me? Korean? With more than six degrees of separation, I’m a pure bred Beijing-er. Then they said, ‘Zhang Ye, you really are a Korean-seumida.’ I asked why and they said ‘Look online, didn’t many people call you a — Poker Faced (冷面)* Comedian!'”

The audience was confused for a moment, then they were struck by realization!

“Hahahaha!”

“Aiyo, damn it!”

“Poker Faced Comedian? Isn’t that Korean Cold Noodles (冷面) Comedian if put together!?”

……

Online, a lot of brainless fans began to flood with their posts!

“Ban Zhang Ye!”

“He’s too wicked!”

“His mouth is full of nonsense!”

“When did Korea offend you? Must you mock them so ruthlessly?”

……

At this moment, the field director gestured to Zhang Ye that there were only 5 minutes remaining in this broadcast.

Zhang Ye looked at the audience. He hadn’t bothered about the time because he had already taken into account of his timing, “When this episode is over, mark my words, there will surely be waves of cursing at me from the Korean celebrities and fans. Hai, to be honest, it’s not very acceptable of me to say all that. This time, I’ve offended too many people, but….. I said what I said!” Zhang Ye looked into the camera and pointed and said, “If you aren’t happy, bite me!”

“Hahaha!”

“Strongly supporting!”

“That’s right! Come bite us!”

The audience once again burst out laughing, grinning from ear to ear!

Zhang Ye’s earlier expression was really asking for a beating. It did not have a hint of class that a famous host or literary person should have, but the Zhang Ye of this moment was the cutest to many members of the audience. This was truly what you’d call gutsy talking! I’m scolding you! You aren’t convinced? Come bite me then!

The company leaders and colleagues below the stage could not help but laugh. They really couldn’t do anything about him!

After trash talking the Koreans, Zhang Ye still cheerfully finished off, “Aiya, I’ve spoken too much already. Yea, actually it’s not good to keep saying things like this about Korea. It’s really not good. I want to thank the Republic of Korea here, not hypocritically or faking it. I really want to thank them for contributing once and again to China’s entertainment industry. It was you all that spared no effort to advance China’s Talk Show! To be honest, if there wasn’t such a wonderful country, my Talk Show program might have ended at 2 episodes. There was nothing else to talk about and when I was worried till my hair dropped, I came across the world map and saw the Republic of Korea. In a flash of genius, I felt….the lowest estimates of episodes I could record would be around 180 episodes! I even had the feeling that as long as the Republic of Korea exists, China’s Talk Shows would definitely make rapid progress. We would never run out of joke segments to perform! So here, I will bow to the camera for you all. I represent China’s entertainment industry in expressing our gratitude towards you! You are the real unsung heroes!” saying that, Zhang Ye bowed deeply to the camera!

The audience could no longer handle it. They were laughing like they had gone mad!

“Aiyahahahahha!”

“I can’t breathe!”

“Teacher Zhang’s mouth is too damaging!”

“After scolding them, he even thanked them? You sure are bad!”

Today’s joke segments were a little messy. The joke segments came from many different Talk Shows. Some came from cross-talks, others came from the masses wisdom of the internet in his previous world and some were even original creations of Zhang Ye’s. He was, after all, a broadcast major, so how could he not have a few tricks up his sleeves?

Time was almost up.

Zhang Ye clasped his hands together and interrupted the laughter. He smiled and said, “Today’s program will end here. Finally, let’s summarize the topics of today. Koreans invented the printing press? Koreans invented Chinese characters? Koreans invented the Dragon Boat Festival? Some people might not be able to help but ask, then what did the Chinese invent?” Zhang Ye straightened his suit, saying, “Let me tell all of you, the Chinese invented the Koreans!**”

There was not one vulgarity in this statement!

But it was the most ruthless scolding he had said today!

The moment the audience heard it, they felt an impulse surge through them as they stood up and applauded, “Nice! Well said! Hahaha!”

“Invented Koreans?”

“That’s right, they were originally ‘invented’ by us!”

“Teacher Zhang’s cursing without vulgarities sure has f**king lots of patterns!”

“Aiyah, this is the first time I’m slightly pitying those bunch of Koreans! They encountered a damn hooligan like Teacher Zhang Ye! They can only end up being cursed!

“Too awesome!”

“Giving Zhang Ye 100,000 Likes!”

“Teacher Zhang! You are our role model!”

“I seem to have seen it! The Koreans that were watching our program are probably crying out of anger! Hahaha! I express my heartfelt condolences!”

*Poker/Cold Faced (冷面) can also mean Cold Noodles. Face and noodles share the same Chinese character (面). There is a unique Korean dish, called naengmyeon (냉면), which means Cold Noodles in Korean.

**This is implying that Koreans are descendants of the ancient Chinese race, but research suggests this is not true. They are more closer related to Mongolians, Manchurians and the Japanese. They are genetically distinct from Southern Chinese.