I'm Really a Superstar

The questions were announced on Zhang Ye's Weibo.

Question 1: Essay.

The question was as follows:

A young man is wandering around at the beach, looking glum.

"Why the long face?" an old man asks.

The young man explained that even though he had always done his best—in life and his work—he had never gotten recognized or respected.

"Watch carefully." The old man picked up a grain of sand and threw it away. "Can you find that grain of sand?"

The young man smiled wryly and shook his head.

"I have here with me a pearl as well." The old man took out a huge pearl and weighed it in his hand, then proceeded to throw it onto the beach. "Now, that won't be difficult to find, right? Become a pearl and no one will ignore you."

The question was posted on Weibo, line by line.

When many of the netizens read up to here, they smiled.

"This is too simple!"

"This question is a very traditional one."

"This composition isn't bad. This is the first time I've read this story, and while it looks very simple and straightforward, it carries a rather strong philosophy behind it. Even if this question had been included in the college entrance exam this year, it would have been very suitable. It allows for a very clear thought process so that the examinees can reflect and extend on it, as it focuses on the importance of self-worth and society's acknowledgment that could then be written as an essay. The essay can start off with the story of the sand grain and pearl, or from the importance of hard work and…"

As the netizens commented and analyzed the question in all seriousness, the topic of the question was suddenly and unexpectedly revealed.

—If I become a pearl, no one would ignore me anymore? That made a lot of sense, as the young man thought about it for a moment. Then he picked up the pearl and ran off!

Question requirement: Please use the topic of "Where should the most basic level of trust between people exist?" to write an essay. The is no limitation to how the topic is used, but the essay must not be fewer than 800 words.

At this line, all the netizens were dumbfounded!

"Holy f**k!"

"The most basic level of trust…between people?"

"What kind of a twist is this!?"

"Zhang Ye, I'm cursing your great-grandpa!"

"Where did the self-worth and society's acknowledgment we were just talking about go? And the story of the grain of sand and pearl that somehow got cut short and became a mess? Why did he steal the pearl and run away?! Does he need to have such low moral integrity?! Your sister! After that long-ass introduction, the requirement of the question had nothing to do with it at all!"

"Zhang Ye, you cheat!"

"Pfft! I'm cramping from laughing!"

"Damn, we've been tricked by this passage again!"

When the question requirement was given, everyone immediately jumped up and started cursing colorfully. They'd witnessed wondrous questions before, but nothing as wondrous as this. Was this a Chinese Literature question or a joke?

"I was still wondering why Zhang Ye would offer that prize so calmly!"

"Yeah, this question is basically unanswerable!"

"Who says it's unanswerable? I'll give it a try!"

"Right, it's just asking for 'Where should the most basic level of trust between people exist?' I'll write an essay!"

Some of the netizens charged forward, ready to give their answers.

"Come on, next question!"

"Where's the second question?"

"I won't believe that we can't answer your questions!"

"That's right, we will settle it once and for all with this guy today! I'm getting so furious!"

……

At the Wu residence.

On the lawn in the front yard.

When Wu Zeqing saw the question Zhang Ye had typed onto his screen, she let out a laugh and then said, "No wonder you're always getting a scolding from everyone else."

Zhang Ye sniggered. "That's how they show their love for me."

Old Wu said, "Is that so?"

"Of course," Zhang Ye replied as his hands continued typing the next question.

……

On Weibo.

With the countless netizens waiting, the second question was revealed.

Mathematics problem:

50 women are performing a square dance in a plaza. They are all spread out 1 meter apart from each other, with the speakers broadcasting at 170 dB. Xiaoming's house is situated on the seventh floor. The current wind speed is 3 m/s.

The netizens began analyzing the problem.

"It's time for a math question!"

"Will it ask for the duration needed for the sound to travel? Or something else?"

"50 people spread out in a formation, 1 meter from each other? Hmm, the decibel unit is a little troublesome, and there's even wind speed involved?"

"If we ignore the acoustic resonance factor and transmission loss of power, then it won't be difficult to solve this problem."

"I've already started my calculations. It's quite simple. All I need to know now is what the problem is asking for."

Then, within the next second, the question was revealed.

Question: What is the probability of success should Xiaoming attempt to dump feces on the women in the plaza?

Ah??

The netizens all fainted all once!

"Dumping feces? Why would it be asking about dumping feces?"

"I'll dump on your sister, Zhang Ye!"

"What about the transmission of sound we were just talking about?"

"Let me calm down for a moment, I feel a little lightheaded!"

"How did this become a probability question?"

"Hey Zhang, why do you never play according to the rules!"

"Let me give this question a try. I don't believe I can't do it! Since the weight of the feces is unknown, as well as the throwing strength and speed, the women in the question are also gathered in a single location. When the feces are flung, their surface area will gradually change. Let us first establish the axes of the objects. If Xiaoming is on the z-axis, then the senior ladies will be on the x-y axis….Next, we have to calculate the parabola of the flung object…"

"Previous poster, you're awesome!"

"Bro, we are all depending on you!"

"Good luck! I think you can do it."

Some science geek started doing the calculations!

At this moment, Zhang Ye's third question was posted.

Question: Spring is the season for mating. At 6 PM Beijing time, on the day of the vernal equinox, Police Constable Xiaoli raised his head to the sky at a 38° angle of elevation and saw the North Star. Afterwards, he led his team and rushed into an underground prostitution den to raid it. What are the most likely words that the John in the room would shout out when he realizes that this is a raid? [1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chunfen]

A. É Dī Gè Shén Ah [2. "Oh my god" in Guanzhong dialect]

B. Diū Léi Lóu Móu [3. "F**k your mom" in Cantonese]

C. Nóng Xiǎng Zǔ Sā [4. "What do you want" in Shanghainese]

D. Ssibal [5. Motherf*cker/씨발 in Korean]

Countless strings of "what the f**k" were already flashing in front of the eyes netizens eyes!

"What kind of a question is this! What the heck is this!"

"Why does it even include the word 'ssibal!'"

"Who the hell would know what they would shout out!"

"Who can solve this question!"

With that, Zhang Ye followed up with his last question.

Question 4: A BMW sedan with a power rating of 6.0 x 104 watts is traveling on a level highway when it comes to a braking stop 5 meters away from an old granny. The old granny's weight is known to be 50 kg.

With the experience from the previous three questions, the netizens were wiser this time and did not assume the question's requirements before they were mentioned. Since they had fallen for Zhang Ye's tricks previously, they just patiently waited for Zhang Ye to finish and announce the full question.

The question requirement was posted.

Question requirements:

1: Please state the power at which the old granny would fall to the ground at.

2: How much would the old granny demand as compensation?

The netizens: "…!@#$%^&*()! ! !"

"Power of the fall?"

"How can a fall still be measured by power?"

"How much in compensation? Like hell I know how much the old granny would want for compensation!"

At this moment, many of the netizens and examinees felt that they had been too naive. When they first saw Zhang Ye announcing the prizes, they still came over excited, thinking that they would get a chance to scold Zhang Ye right to his face. However, when they gave it some thought now, they should have known what kind of a person Zhang Ye was. He was so wicked and sly, and the past experience would have told them that only Zhang Ye could give others a face smacking, not the other way around. Just looking at these questions, this fellow must have planned to not let them win from the very beginning. All of the questions were "broken!"

"I'm so angry that I could cry!"

"How despicable!"

"These questions are basically unsolvable!"

"I was wondering why he would dare make such big claims!"

"Zhang Ye, come out!"

No one was having any of this.

Zhang Ye posted on Weibo: "The questions have all been announced. Is there anyone who can answer them? I can relax my requirements a little. As long as someone can answer 3 out of the 4 questions correctly, I will pass him or her and award the prizes accordingly. That means that, other than the old granny demanding compensation question, as long as the other 3 questions are answered correctly, it is good enough for me."

The netizens continued scolding.

"What the hell! Other than the essay which we can still write about, who could answer the other questions?!"

"These broken questions must not even have answers!"

"The way I see it, you're just bullshitting us right now!"

"That's right, this guy must have come up with the questions without thought. Even he couldn't answer them!"

"That must be it. He even included something like 'ssibal'? And 'É Dī Gè Shén Ah'? What has this question got to do with the information that was included at the beginning! If you're so capable, tell us the correct answer! Otherwise, stop bullshitting us!"

"Right, this question must be unsolvable. Zhang Ye is definitely trying to cheat us!"

"Zhang Ye, you're too wicked. During the college entrance exam, you cheated our examinees. Now that the exam is over, you're trying to cheat us?"

"Down with this guy!"

"This broken question can only be thought up by someone like you!"

"Stop using your brainpower. What Zhang Ye's Classroom? This is all just Zhang Ye making fun of us. The questions don't have answers, so let's not waste the effort to solve them!"

No one was trying to solve them anymore as all of them began scolding Zhang Ye on Weibo.

After Zhang Ye waited for the longest time and no one came forward with an answer, he posted: "Who says that I am making fun of you all? Since I can give the question, of course there is an answer. Does anyone still want to give them a try?"

The netizens found it both funny and annoying.

"Bullshit!"

"What answers have you got!"

"Hur hur!"

"Teacher Zhang, you're too stubborn!"

"Then why don't you show us the answers?"

"I still won't believe you!"

With the commotion becoming livelier, a lot of celebrities also came to observe.

Yao Jiancai's Weibo: "F**k, how is this a college entrance exam question? This is obviously a joke!"

A female singer's Weibo: "Do these questions really have answers? It must be a scam, right?"

No one disagreed. They all believed that Zhang Ye was using the questions to tell a joke.

However, a minute later, Zhang Ye followed up with a post with the answers in it!

For example, the third question: "In the guise of an absurd situation, there is a geographical question that is packaged very nicely into it. Why? First off, the John would likely utter something in his native language in the midst of his panic. As such, the objective of the question was to find out where he was located. Then just where is this prostitution den located? We know that the angle of elevation of the North Star is also the latitude of the location, so we can say that the location is situated on the 38th parallel north of the equator. By looking at the answer options, B. is Diū Léi Lóu Móu which we clearly know it to be the dialect of Guangdong Province. That location is situated somewhere around the 20th parallel north of the equator. We can safely exclude that answer because of that, while C is Nóng Xiǎng Zǔ Sā which we know to be a dialect somewhere in Shanghai. Shanghai is based around the 31st parallel north of the equator, so that is clearly the wrong answer as well!"

Seeing the explanation by Zhang Ye regarding the answer, the netizens were all stunned!

"Holy f**k!"

"Holy shit!"

Zhang Ye continued: "The answer comes down to A and D. É Dī Gè Shén is a language from where? That is from the Shaanxi dialect, while ssibal is obviously from Korean. The problem now is that both Shaanxi and Korea are both located around the 38th parallel north of the equator, so we are unable to judge from the information we have on the latitude. Because of this, it won't be easy to solve, so what can we do? Well, there's still the longitude information! However, looking at the question, there is no such information given. What is given is that it is 6 PM Beijing time and the incident happened on the day of the vernal equinox. That given time was right during sunset in Beijing. Korea is located at the east of Beijing, so at 6 PM, their skies are already dark, while Shaanxi is located at the west of Beijing and for them, the sun has not set yet. When Police Constable Xiaoli raised his head, he could see the North Star. That would mean that it was no longer daytime, therefore the likelihood of the prostitution den being situated in Shaanxi can also be excluded. And with that, we arrive at the answer of D. ssibal. By the way, the usage of the 'Police Constable Xiaoli' was just a red herring. Some of you might have excluded the possibility of the foreign option in the answers because of it, but remember that there are also people with the last name of Li in Korea!"

The answer was revealed!

The netizens fell into a dead silence!

Yao Jiancai was stunned!

That female singer was stunned!

The examinees were stunned!

"…Zhang Ye, you've won! You've truly won!!"

[1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chunfen]

[2. É Dī Gè Shén Ah: "Oh my god" in Guanzhong dialect]

[3. Diū Léi Lóu Móu: "F**k your mom" in Cantonese]

[4. Nóng Xiǎng Zǔ Sā: "What do you want" in Shanghainese]

[5. Ssibal: Motherf*cker/씨발 in Korean]