I'm Really a Superstar

The Internet was flooded with positive comments!

At home.

After Zhang Ye finished playing a few levels of the game, he exited from it with great satisfaction. When he browsed through the comments and news online, he was delighted. Seeing that everyone had actually given him so much face, he suddenly rolled up his sleeves and shook his hands about as a simple warm up. Without wasting any time, he got into his spokesperson of Plants vs. Zombies mode immediately, except that this spokesperson—uh, kind of didn't have much moral integrity!

On Weibo.

A D-list female actress with the Weibo handle of "Beautiful Little Fanghua" posted on Weibo with an attached picture of steamed buns and bean gruel: "What a sumptuous breakfast. Thank you, Mom. It's so delicious I'm crying!"

When the post was just submitted, the sofa was immediately snatched! [1.]

Obviously, the female actress did not close Weibo straight after posting, but waited to see the comments from the netizens. Who could have expected that, just a second after she posted, someone immediately commented on it!

Whoa!

Aren't you reacting too quickly?

That female actress giggled as she lowered her head to read, but she was shocked by what she saw!

This name…

This person…

The person who snatched the sofa turned out to be a celebrity as well, the person who was the focus of attention everywhere, Zhang Ye! However, the comment posted by him couldn't be anymore shameless: "Shh, don't make a sound, don't make a sound. Let me quietly share with you a secret. There's a new game called Plants vs. Zombies that is extremely fun to play. I am telling you this, but don't you go telling anyone else!"

That female actress immediately felt overwhelmed by this. This was Zhang Ye! He was the infamous and most miraculous person in the entertainment industry right now! Although he had a terrible reputation, he was still a true B-list celebrity who was popular throughout the country. He was obviously not at the same level compared to her, a small-time actress who hovered around in the D-list rankings. Seeing that it was the legendary Zhang Ye who snatched her sofa, she felt very flattered.

She replied frantically: "This game recommended by Teacher Zhang must be fun!"

Further down in the comments, her fans were also shocked!

"Ah? Teacher Zhang?"

"Aiyo! We have met a god!"

"Hahaha, Teacher Zhang, do you have any shame? This game is obviously made and endorsed by you, so should you be promoting your game in this way?"

As they were messing around and joking there.

Elsewhere, Zhang Yuanqi also had some activity on Weibo. She posted a picture of an airport. "I have just arrived after my flight. Thanks for the warm reception from my fans."

However, the sofa was snatched by Zhang Ye again. "Shh, don't make a sound, don't make a sound. Let me quietly share with you a secret. There's a new game called Plants vs. Zombies that is extremely fun to play. I am telling you this, but don't you go telling anyone else!"

Zhang Yuanqi: "…"

Her manager, Fang Weihong: "…"

The two of them replied with a string of ellipses, showing how speechless they were!

At yet another place.

Crosstalk actor Tang Dazhang, who had a great enmity with Zhang Ye, posted on Weibo: "The weather in Kunming is quite nice. It's so enjoyable to perform here."

Many of Tang Dazhang's fans saw the update on Weibo at the first moment were ready to reply. But after they had just finished commenting, they were shocked to find that they did not get the sofa. The first comment had actually appeared within two seconds of Tang Dazhang posting on Weibo!

Aiya!

Who was it that was so fast?

Are you trying to take off from the runway?

When they saw it, Tang Dazhang's fans were all stunned. Isn't that Zhang Ye, the fucking adversary of Teacher Tang Dazhang?!

Zhang Ye posted: ""Shh, don't make a sound, don't make a sound. Let me quietly share with you a secret…"

Tang Dazhang nearly vomited blood!

Tang Dazhang's fans: "...( *&^%^%...^#@! !"

Zhang! Why are you shameless? Why are you so shameless? Back then, you derided Teacher Tang in the crosstalk competition, yet you still have the cheek to come to Teacher Tang's Weibo to promote your game?? How can you be so fucking shameless?! I've seen hooligans before, but I've never seen such a hooligan as you!

Following that, another crosstalk actor who had a past grudge with Zhang Ye was struck by this misfortune!

That crosstalk artist posted: "Recently, the weather has been cloudy and rainy. I can feel my arthritis acting up again."

Zhang Ye once again snatched the sofa for this post. "Shh, don't make a sound, don't make a sound. Let me quietly share with you a secret…"

That crosstalk artist: "…"

From 9 AM to 10 AM, Zhang Ye snatched the "second floor" on more than 20 celebrities' and public figures' Weibo posts. All of them were the first reply to each post and the content was all the same. He used a sneaky tone that was employed in marketing talk for medicinal treatments to promote Plants vs. Zombies!

All the celebrities were totally lost for words!

The netizens also fainted one after another!

"Teacher Zhang! That's enough, that's really enough of you!"

"Pfft, do you have to have such low moral integrity?!"

"Damn, just how fast is your reaction speed?!"

"I'm so shocked that I peed my pants! What the fuck is this reaction speed? He managed to snatch the sofa every time?"

"Teacher Zhang, can you stop constantly appearing and disappearing so mysteriously?! How much of an endorsement fee did you actually receive? You're working so hard! You're being way too professional!"

"Hahahahahahaha!"

"Godly reaction speed!"

"What the hell! Kneeling down!"

"I've been shocked into a daze!"

"Teacher Zhang, are you on drugs?!"

They had seen celebrities doing promotions before and had also seen them sparing no effort and working hard to promote their works or products they'd endorsed. But Zhang Ye's shameless promoting style was the first time everyone had witnessed something like this! This really lacked morals! It would have been fine if it was some average D- or E-list, small-time celebrities doing this, but you are a very well-known and famous big shot, B-list celebrity. Even within the fiercely contested industry like the entertainment circle, you belong in the top tier, so you…you are far…too…ah!

However, Zhang Ye did not feel embarrassed at all and was still tirelessly going around to carry out the great cause of "snatching the sofa."

In the following stretch of time, to the amazement of the netizens, one after another, celebrities were met with Zhang Ye's "violent sellout." The most impressive thing that left everyone full of admiration was how Zhang Ye always managed to snatch the sofa successfully from under the noses of the celebrities' millions of fans each time!

If it happened one time, it might have been accidental!

If it happened two times, it might still have been accidental!

But what about 20 times? 50 times?

The netizens and celebrities from the entertainment circle were shocked. First, they were shocked by the speed of Zhang Ye's fingers. Second, they were shocked by his qualities of persistence and shameless perseverance!

...

Shenzhen.

At an entertainment company.

A B-list female actress and singer, who had met with Zhang Ye's "violent sellout" on Weibo earlier, turned to look at the staff member beside her with a stunned face. As she was not particularly familiar with Zhang Ye, she pointed with a blank expression at her cell phone screen showing the Weibo interface. "This guy…is actually a professor at Peking University?"

The staff member smiled wryly. "Yes."

The female actress asked again, "A literary artist?"

The staff member exclaimed, "Yes."

The female actress asked for the third time, "Part of the judiciary?"

The staff member closed his eyes. "Yes."

The actress wiped her sweat away and said, "I didn't study much, so don't try to fool me like that!"

[1. In Chinese netspeak, the OP is known as 'First Floor', while the first to comment is referred to as the 'Second Floor', or 'SF'. When translated to English, this acronym is sometimes referred to as 'shā fā' which means sofa. Another explanation is that whenever a post is made, the first person to reply usually comment with 'so fast' which is usually irrelevant to the content posted, and just for the sake of getting first. Thus, 'so fast' is simplified to sofa and when a netizen snatches the sofa, it just means that they got the first comment or reply.]