I'm Really a Superstar

Later that morning.

News regarding the Spring Festival Gala continued to get published.

The latest rumor online regarding the Central TV Spring Festival Gala show list was leaked. From the looks of the show list, it was rather authentic and unlikely to be made up by netizens. This was most probably the actual show list for this year's Spring Festival Gala.

Songs:

Sun Hang – "Homeland".

Zhang Xia, Li Qixi – "A Taste of Home".

Zhang Yuanqi – "In the Sunlight".

Language Acts:

Gong Qing, Ci Xiufang, Xiaohai – Sketch: "Why is it You Again?"

Tang Dazhang, Li Yan, Guo Binzi (feat. 60 participants) – Crosstalk routine: "A Family Reunion".

The netizens were ridiculing them in the comments section down below.

"Why is it always these familiar names?"

"That's right, the majority of them are the same people."

"Sister Zhang is doing a solo this time? She's not partnering with Grandma Zhang?"

"A 60-person crosstalk routine? I've nothing I can say to that!"

"Pfft, has Tang Dazhang brought his entire Crosstalk Society along to participate in the gala? Is he moving his entire family over?"

"What are they trying to do? 60 people doing a crosstalk together? Are there crosstalks done by so many people at once? Aiyo, why is it so comical!? Was Tang Dazhang driven mad by Zhang Ye last year? I'm not surprised that Tang Dazhang will be appearing on the Gala since he is a regular performer there, but how are they going to perform a crosstalk with 60 people? Are they forcefully trying to come up with something innovative? Is this even innovation? Wouldn't it get messy with so many people performing on stage? Moreover, isn't it meaningless to have so many participants? It's not like we're competing on who has more people!"

"Who knows what Tang Dazhang and his people are thinking."

"Why did the Spring Festival Gala program team even allow this to pass?"

"The Spring Festival Gala is getting weirder and weirder by the year!"

"Where's Zhang Ye's name? Why didn't they include my favorite Zhang Ye?!"

"Hur hur, our Teacher Zhang Ye did not even make it to the list. Central TV's Spring Festival Gala simply must have not approached him. It's too bad that Zhang Ye offended so many people, otherwise he might've really had the chance to appear on the Spring Festival Gala this year."

"A 60-person crosstalk routine will simply be unbearable to watch. Tang Dazhang's crosstalk routines are really not enjoyable to listen to at all. Every year, his opening line is always 'We meet again, my friends' and that totally annoys me! They should have just invited Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai instead. Their crosstalk routines are so fucking fun to watch! I've already listened to 'I Will Reject the Three Vulgarities' ten times!"

"If Zhang Ye is not involved in the Spring Festival Gala, there'll be nothing interesting to look forward to!"

"That's right, there won't be any fights to see anymore."

"Pfft, above posters, you're really amazing."

...

Beijing Television.

At the rehearsal venue, the hall was packed with people. It was quite chaotic. There were lion dancers, people practicing acrobatics such as somersaulting, while some were facing away from the others and doing their vocal warm-ups. There were many familiar faces among them. A lot of them were celebrities who were frequently featured on television, although they were not very popular. The dressing and waiting rooms were all fully occupied!

When Zhang Ye and Dong Shanshan arrived, it was already 10 AM.

Hu Fei and Yao Jiancai anxiously came over to them. "Little Zhang, Little Dong! Aiyo, you two have finally arrived. Hurry up, this way!"

They went to a standalone waiting room.

Beijing Television's Spring Festival Gala had invited quite a number of big names this time. Zhang Ye might not the most popular celebrity among them, but he was definitely one of the more popular ones in this group of guests. With his current status, the television station would definitely not force him and Yao Jiancai to wait in the hall. Instead, they prepared a place for them to practice separately from the others.

Hu Fei was the assistant overall planner for Beijing Television's Spring Festival Gala this year. As a result, he had a lot of work to handle at the location and was kept busy the entire morning. Beads of sweat ran down his forehead as he said, "You two are really something to drop the ball at such an important time. Don't bother explaining, the dress rehearsal is starting soon. Hurry up and get prepared!"

Dong Shanshan heaved a sigh of relief. "It hasn't started yet?"

Hu Fei replied, "The equipment needed some additional tuning, so the rehearsal was delayed by an hour. If the two of you came another fifteen minutes later, it would really have started and you wouldn't be able to explain your way out of it."

Zhang Ye laughed. "See, our timing was perfect."

Hu Fei stared daggers at Zhang Ye. "Don't make me angry. Oh right, I informed Teacher Yao a while ago. Considering that we only invited the two of you to appear on the show at the last minute, we understand that time might be a little tight. Therefore, the execs have instructed that you may perform anything for today's rehearsal and say whatever you like. As long as you use up the 11 to 12 minutes allocated to the two of you for the actual Spring Festival Gala performance, there won't be a problem. We still have to confirm the actual duration allocated for it after we calculate the overall time during this rehearsal. Therefore, it's still not too late to go back and fine-tune the crosstalk routine that you two have planned for the actual day."

"They are so trusting of us?" Zhang Ye asked in surprise.

Hu Fei returned, "You're a former employee of our Beijing TV, so how could the station not know what you're capable of? The execs are very assured of your creativity and spontaneity. When the final performance has been worked out, it won't make a difference regardless of whether the station approves it today or on the actual day. Furthermore, we have to consider that a lot of people from the station are present today and there are also invited guests as well. The crosstalk routine by you and Teacher Yao is the main highlight of our Spring Festival Gala this year, so the station head wishes to keep it under wraps and doesn't want reveal it in advance."

"Alright, I understand." Zhang Ye knew what to do.

Just say whatever we want?

Then today would be an easy day.

At this moment, the back door opened.

"Director Chang."

"Director Chang!"

A middle-aged man led a group of people in from outside. Zhang Ye knew that this person was the executive director of Beijing Television's Spring Festival Gala this year—Chang Xiaoliang.

Chang Xiaoliang nodded at Hu Fei first. "Old Hu, have you already informed Teacher Zhang and Teacher Yao?"

"I've told them already," Hu Fei replied.

Chang Xiaoliang greeted Zhang Ye. "Hello, Teacher Zhang."

Zhang Ye smiled and shook hands with him. "Hello, Director Chang. I've heard a lot about you."

"Same here, same here." Chang Xiaoliang explained, "We gave you such late notice this time because we only managed to get an approval from the station at the last minute."

"It's fine. Old Yao and I are only the icing on the cake for this event."

"You two have provided us with timely assistance."

"Please don't put it that way."

The two of them exchanged some pleasantries.

In actuality, Chang Xiaoliang was not speaking without facts. Based on Zhang Ye's present popularity and status, appearing on Central TV's Spring Festival Gala might still be a little difficult, since that would depend on work relationships, censorship rules, and other factors. Like at last year's Spring Festival Gala, even Heavenly Queen Zhang Yuanqi and veteran songstress Zhang Xia had nearly missed out from appearing on it. However, it was not an issue for Zhang Ye to get onto a provincial station's Spring Festival Gala. He could basically choose between any television station's gala to appear on if he wanted. This time, the fact that he had chosen to appear on Beijing Television's Spring Festival Gala was naturally helping them out. If you looked at the other provincial stations' Spring Festival Gala, they had to spend a lot of money just to invite some A- or B-list celebrities to join their shows! To show their sincerity, an executive director of a gala had even personally flown to Hong Kong to invite a big name celebrity who was based there. But what about Zhang Ye? He did not even ask about the appearance fee and just agreed after getting a call. He was basically giving face to Beijing Television Station, so Chang Xiaoliang also treated Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai with great respect.

Likewise, Zhang Ye needed this opportunity. Though he was well qualified to appear on a provincial station's Spring Festival Gala, the key was that no one dared to invite him. They feared that he would stir up trouble or that it would affect their interpersonal relationships in the industry. No matter how popular Zhang Ye was, he still couldn't appear on a provincial station's Spring Festival Gala. Beijing Television had only dared to invite him because they were an old employer of his. Having spent much time working with him before, they had both fought and helped each other along the way. Therefore, the station was willing to put more trust in him than the other television stations since they had a deeper bond so to speak.

As such, this was a win-win situation, with both sides taking what they needed.

In the back, two assistant directors were criticizing Dong Shanshan as they looked at her in anger!

One of them said, "Little Dong, what's the matter with you? How could you drop the ball on such a big occasion? We planned for the rehearsal to open at 9 AM, but look at what time it is now! Do you still have any discipline?"

Dong Shanshan was just about to speak.

However, Zhang Ye, who wasn't too far away from them, interjected, "It was my fault."

The two assistant directors looked at him in a rather stunned manner.

Zhang Ye said in embarrassment, "I went to look for Shanshan this morning to ask her for some updates about the Spring Festival Gala and then had a discussion with her about the shows, so we got delayed as I had forgotten about the time. Actually, we could still make it on time, but because of a car accident that happened, we got stuck in traffic and came late."

"Discussing the shows?" one of them questioned.

Zhang Ye bluffed, "Well, we weren't discussing the crosstalk routine, but just got engrossed in the discussion when we exchanged some views about skits. I thought that Shanshan should be able to perform well in a skit. Don't they always have hosts these days who make guest appearances in a skit? Oh right, Shanshan and I were classmates in university. During our school days, we always liked to discuss such things and couldn't stop once we started talking about it."

Chang Xiaoliang wondered, "Teacher Zhang can write skits too?"

Zhang Ye said lightheartedly, "Just a little. We were just randomly talking about it."

Chang Xiaoliang said excitedly, "I would really look forward to a sketch from you."

"Ha, the show lineup has already been fixed, so we'd have to wait for next year," Zhang Ye said.

Chang Xiaoliang nodded. "Sure, there's still plenty of opportunities to work together in the future."

The two assistant directors looked at Dong Shanshan and couldn't say anything more. Zhang Ye had already volunteered to take all the blame, so what else could they say? Surely they couldn't start reprimanding Zhang Ye, right? He was an associate professor at Beijing University and Media College, had won the highest honor in hosting, and was a popular B-list celebrity. Moreover, Zhang Ye's status as a TV show director would not be any lower than Chang Xiaoliang, a renowned gala director of the industry. Zhang Ye was also the director of the current number 1 viewership rated show in the television industry. He was even someone who could speak directly to the station head of Beijing Television, so how were they qualified to reprimand him? As a result, Dong Shanshan was let off lightly from the big trouble that she had gotten into.

Zhang Ye and Dong Shanshan glanced at each other with a tacit understanding.

Someone came in from outside again.

"Director Chang, we're starting the countdown!"

"Is everything ready?"

"Everything's ready."

"Good, the dress rehearsal will officially begin in ten minutes!"

Then Chang Xiaoliang led his team quickly over to the stage area.

Hu Fei turned around and said, "Teacher Yao, Little Zhang, your show will be scheduled at the beginning, roughly at the seventh or eighth spot. Someone will lead you to the stage later."

Everyone dispersed.

Only Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai were left in the waiting room.

Zhang Ye asked, "Shall we practice our lines?"

Yao Jiancai replied, "Didn't they say we can just say whatever?"

"Damn, are you really going to just say whatever?" Zhang Ye chuckled. "No matter what, we should still try to put on a good show."

Looking at his watch, Yao Jiancai said, "It will be our turn to go on stage soon. Do you think we can still make it in time?"

Zhang Ye said, "Then let's just practice briefly."

Yao Jiancai was suddenly amused by something he thought of. "Oh, have you seen Central TV's Spring Festival Gala show list yet? Tang Dazhang is bringing his people from the Crosstalk Society to perform at the Spring Festival Gala."

"What about that?"

"What about that? It's a 60-person crosstalk routine. Have you even heard of something like that before?"

"Pfft! Are you serious?"

"Have a look yourself! They claim that they're being innovative!"

After browsing through the news for a while, Zhang Ye was amused by it for a long time. Zhang Ye suddenly remembered a segment from a classic crosstalk routine from his previous world by Guo Degang.

Zhang Ye looked at Yao Jiancai. "They said that we can say whatever we want for today's rehearsal?"

Yao Jiancai blinked several times. "They said they would be fine with it even if we said whatever we wanted."

Zhang Ye grinned. "I understand then."

"You've thought of a bit?"

"Yes."

"Oh, what is it called?"

"—'I Want to Get on the Spring Festival Gala!'"