Immortal Ice Empress: Path to Vengeance-Novel

Mira slowly started descending past the 500th step, but every step past that point became increasingly more difficult and slowly but surely, Mira was starting to lose her mind.

How can she not lose her mind though? These stairs are basically forcibly injecting thoughts into her mind with the sole purpose of making her go insane!

"Why don't you just stop here and get some rest?"

"You look tired, are you sure you can keep going?"

"Why do you want revenge on those who have wronged you? Wouldn't it be smarter to just die here so nobody can ever control you like they did before? You would be able to fulfill your wish of eternal rest!"

"You are trying so hard and for what? There might not even be something at the end of all this!"

"Maybe taking a break is exactly what this place wants you to do. Wouldn't that mean that you could possibly be doing these torturous trials for all eternity?"

"Haven't you had enough? Enough of life? Enough of humanity? Enough of constantly trying to struggle against your fate? Why don't you just let nature take its course?"

"There's nothing to be ashamed about wanting to end your life. In fact, it's an incredibly difficult decision to make and you know damn well that's what you want. These stairs can prevent that god from controlling you, so why don't you just fulfill your deepest desires right here? Isn't that your ultimate goal? To just be able to rest in peace without being in someone else's control?"

These are just some of the thoughts that are being forced into her mind and no matter what Mira does, she can't get rid of these thoughts!

The worst part of it all is that these thoughts stem from her subconscious so it's hard to say that they're wrong. No, in fact, it's impossible for Mira to deny those thoughts because she truly is tired.

That's the best way to describe her current self. Tired.

Not the kind of tired that will be solved after a good night's rest. Nor is it the kind of tired that one feels after a long day of work.

It's more like the kind of tired one might feel after working their entire life to achieve their dream, but by the end of it all they become homeless, without any friends or family, and it's now impossible to achieve their dreams because now they are too old and weak.

That's the kind of tired Mira feels except she's worked hard for a millennium and across several lifetimes yet she's only at the starting line of achieving her dream.

Worst of all, if anyone were to ask what she wants to do after achieving her goal, Mira wouldn't be able to answer that question. Mainly because once she's strong enough to kill that god, she's basically at the pinnacle of strength. So, not only will she have gotten her revenge, but she'll basically be at the peak of strength within the Immortal Realm. Sure, she might be able to advance her strength a bit and that would be a nice 'short term' goal, but she has nothing she wants to do after that.

Maybe she could spend some time planting flowers or some shit like other old people, but what really sounds nice to her is just being able to die peacefully. No reincarnations. No weird backstories. None of that nonsense! Just a place where her body, mind, and soul can sleep for the rest of eternity.

At least that's how she currently feels. Who knows, maybe she'll find something worth living for between now and then, but that's impossible to know right now.

It's also not worth it, at least in her mind, to search for something worth living for as that's not something one can just find whenever they want. Not only that but having something worth living for would only be a weakness for her current self.

Mira also had things or people she would happily give her life for so they can live, but they have all been forcibly taken away from her. So how can she open up her heart to someone or something if the possibility of it being taken from her is extremely high?

She can't, in good conscience, do such a thing as that will not only hurt her but whatever she cared for. However, at the end of the day, she'll be the biggest loser. She'll have to live with the guilt that she ultimately caused the downfall of the people and things she loved.

That's why Mira has such a hard time dismissing these 'intrusive' thoughts because they are things that she also thinks about and it's not just these stairs teasing her or trying to get her to commit suicide or give up.

"How can a sinner like you even look at yourself in the mirror? You've even killed your own parents just to stop yourself from getting hurt! Aren't you more of a demon than demons themselves? How can you even hope to live a peaceful life after everything you've done?! NAIVE!"

That was the straw that broke the camel's back as Mira's eyes started turning bloodshot and rage started to take over.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'M DONE LISTENING TO THIS SHIT! STOP TRYING TO CONTROL ME! GODDAMMIT"

"Mira oh Mira. Who are you trying to fool? We both know these are your thoughts. Thoughts that you've pushed down and ignored for the longest time just so you can focus on your goal without any inconveniences. But is that how you really think of the loved ones you've killed? As mere inconveniences? Now that's a new low, even for you, Mira."

"FUCK! BASTARD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! JUST LET ME GET DOWN THESE SHITTY STAIRS! ARGH!!"

"Oh my! Are you actually starting to feel some semblance of emotion? And here I thought you were some great sage who had evolved past the point of succumbing to one's emotions and desires. Still, this is so like you. The first emotions you've truly felt in a long time aren't love, happiness, pride, greed, sadness, laziness, or anything like that. No, the first thing you went towards is rage! HAHAHA! How funny is that? Why are you even getting mad? Is it because I'm also an 'inconvenience' to you? Now that I think about it, wouldn't those 3 waiting outside this place for you also be 'inconveniences'? We both know they are going to die at some point just because they are hanging out with you. Whether you'll be the one to kill them or not is the only real mystery here. Hehehe~"

"ARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!"

"Hahahaha! Yes! YES!! Come on! Get angrier! Let your inner rage take over! At this rate, you really will be the one to kill them by the time you leave this place! HAHA! Isn't that great? Now we know how your friends are going to die! Hahahaha~"

Mira tried blocking out the voices, but she was unable to as they kept taunting her more and more. The only thing she could do at this point is to try and at least take out some of her anger on these combat mannequins.

Unfortunately, they are pretty much invincible and with her not being in the right state of mind, injuries started to accumulate on her body and things started to become much worse the farther down she went.

Not only was the pressure starting to become a bit unbearable, but the pain in her soul, the constant deaths, and the negative thoughts pouring into her mind were driving her insane and irrational.

At some point during her descent, Mira reached her limit.