Imperfect Desires

361 Difficult, Lonely & Scary

historical

Although Ah-Si never had to even lift his finger to get anything in his life, there was another reason why he was so easily beaten by Xiu. His heart didn't want to resist her. Something in his heart didn't allow him to resist with full force. As for why he cried... He was a sensitive person and Xiu's words weren't exactly nice.

The way she said things made his heart hurt badly to the point that physical pain had no effect on him. And the worst was done by Xiu when she dropped the bomb by telling him that Nora could never be a mother again. As if something in him died at that moment. Also, those words were enough to make him hate himself.

Xiu really didn't know what impact her words were capable of bringing.

Xiu could see his reaction but she didn't feel bad for what she did or said. No way! She wasn't gonna regret it. Not this time!

Besides, even regretting needed energy which she didn't have at the moment. Xiu was suddenly startled when a small baby girl appeared before her eyes. She looked up to see Xin Zimen holding Ava in his hands as he was passing the girl to Nora with a gentle smile, "No one in this world can take what is yours. She's your daughter and it'll stay like that till the very end."

Nora looked up at him with tears of gratitude before she took Ava in her arms with her whole body trembling in excitement and nervousness. When she held this little one in the morning her feelings were different but now when she knew that this was her own flesh and blood, Nora couldn't describe her feelings at all.

"Ba-ba-ba..." Little Ava babbled excitedly while clapping her hands as she immediately latched herself against Nora's chest and snuggled in comfortably making her mother cry those happy tears.

Nora couldn't help hugging the little girl in her arms tightly and kissed her baby girl all over her tiny little face and her hands. She couldn't stop herself from taking in this scent that only belonged to her daughter. Her baby girl.

Xiu heard a clicking sound and shifted her eyes away from this mother-daughter reunion towards Xin Zimen who had clicked his fingers and all the help in the house rushed towards their young master to take him to his room.

"Is he okay?" Xiu couldn't help asking him while scratching her head awkwardly. Maybe, she really went overboard. But it wasn't her fault. She was reminded of her dark past and she couldn't hold herself back at all!

Xin Zimen looked at Xiu for a moment with a deep look in his eyes before he held her wrist and pulled her up from the floor saying, "Worry about yourself first." He made her sit on the chair in the dining room because he wanted to give some privacy to Nora in the lounge with her daughter. Then he brought a first-aid kit and Xiu looked at him in surprise when he held her hand and tried to clean her bloody knuckles. "You don't even know how to throw a punch. How could you hurt yourself?"

Xiu tried to flinch back but he held her hand tightly. "Why aren't you saying anything?" When he raised his brows at her, she elaborated, "I think... I went a bit far."

Xin Zimen smiled a little at her words shaking his head. "No, you didn't. If his mom was alive, she would have done worse than this." He applied some antibiotic ointment on her wound and added, "Besides, that physical pain won't kill him but the guilt you left in his heart might. You see he has been a sensitive kid since his mother died. His mother's death left a huge impact on his young heart and that's why no one had ever even been angry at him. We always let him do what he wanted to."

Xiu's heart shook at his words. "How can you be so nonchalant when your son is hurting? Shouldn't you be with him? My intention was not to guilt-trip him. I just wanted him to know that there is always two sides to the story. He wasn't hurt alone."

"Calm down, little lass!" Xin Zimen was really too casual about it. "Let me finish. I'm his father and even I can't bring myself to knock some sense into his head. But you could so I let you do it. As you just said, he needed that reality check. I as his father can't always solve everything for him."

"You..." Xiu didn't know what to say. She didn't know at all! So, she blurted out, "You're really weird."

Xin Zimen chuckled at her, "And so I have been told." He was quiet while bandaging her hand and his expressions were somber as well. It really made Xiu wonder what kind of a person was he? What was his story? And why did his presence felt so comforting? Why did she feel so protected in his presence?

She had honestly been scared for the last few days. The fear wasn't leaving. It had constantly been lingering even when she was at her own apartment. But now that he sat beside her, she didn't feel scared anymore. Why was he having this effect on her? It was similar to the familiarity she felt with Ying and yet this feeling was different in its own way.

Xiu's trance broke when she felt a warm touch on her head and tilted her head to look at him. "It must have been difficult and lonely." Xiu frowned slightly. "Growing up in a dysfunctional family."

"I wasn't talking about my..."

"I know you're talking from experience," his words shut Xiu up instantly. "It was written all over your face. I could even see it in your eyes. Remember when we first met I said you're hiding sadness behind your bright eyes?" Xiu nodded since she really remembered his words. "Only today I realized where that sadness came from."

Xiu couldn't look at him anymore. It was as if he read her like an open book.

"I don't know if it was difficult or not but it was quite lonely," she didn't know why she shared it with him. She even forgot that as Bai Xiu, she shouldn't have any memory of her past. What mattered was that it felt like he could understand her.

"And scary," he added with a heavy sigh making Xiu look up into his eyes to see sadness and longing like she often found in her own eyes. Xiu thought it was a ridiculous thought. After all, he had everything. What could make him sad? Did he even have to long for anything? She didn't think so. "I'm sorry!"

Xiu was taken aback by his sudden apology. Where did that come from? "Why are you apologizing?"

"I'm sorry that my son's incompetence made you remember a bitter past," said Xin Zimen as calmly as he could. "And I'm also sorry that my son turned out to be a jerk." Xiu didn't know what to say to that. She really was speechless. He pushed a glass of juice towards her and said, "Leaving all that aside, I really think you need this now."

Although Xiu hadn't felt like vomiting since she woke up again, she still was reluctant to eat or drink anything. But she reluctantly took it from his hand and said, "Thank you!"