Kill the Sun

"Nick, listen, I'm sorry for what I said earlier," Carl said. "I did not mean to say-"

"It's fine," Nick interjected. "I get what you mean. You don't need to apologize."

Carl looked at Nick in relief.

"In fact," Nick continued. "I should be the one who should apologize."

"You were just asking what happened, but I immediately jumped to the conclusion that you wanted to bury this entire matter and silence me."

Nick sighed. "I nearly killed you because of an unfounded speculation."

"We talked about this earlier," Carl said. "We both made a mistake. Two idiots, right?" he added with a smile.

"Two idiots," Nick repeated with a small smile of his own.

The two of them fell silent.

It was relieving to talk like this, but there was still one obvious matter that hadn't been dealt with.

Nick looked at Irwin, who refused to look at Nick.

Irwin was turned to the side, and Nick could only barely see the side of one of his eyes.

Naturally, Nick could tell what Irwin was feeling.

He was ashamed.

However, there was one thing Nick wasn't sure of.

Was Irwin ashamed of what he had done, or was he ashamed that he hadn't succeeded?

If Irwin had succeeded and several hours or days passed, would he regret his actions?

How closely was Irwin's mind connected to his emotions?

Someone could do something horrible when they felt infuriated, which they would never do under normal circumstances.

However, the way the human acted after the deed had been done was different from person to person.

Some of them wouldn't regret it since they had succeeded in what they had done.

In short, as long as there were no extrinsic consequences, they wouldn't really feel bad.

But there were also humans that would feel appalled and disgusted by what they had done.

For some of them, receiving no extrinsic consequences was even worse than receiving them.

Some people were riddled so much with guilt that their lives ended.

Nick knew very well how it felt to have such heavy guilt.

So, what kind of person was Irwin?

Would he have regretted his actions if they had succeeded or not?

Nick couldn't be sure.

Was he a good guy who made a mistake or did he only act like one, and his true nature actually came to light just now?

"Let's deal with this issue when we're back," Nick said as he turned to Carl. "I don't think we can continue our excursion right now."

Carl released a sigh.

Naturally, he hated Irwin for what he had done, but he still felt bad for him.

If Nick forgave Irwin, he would have said so right now.

Yet, Carl couldn't fault Nick.

Irwin had tried to kill him.

That was as bad as it got.

If there were truly unforgivable things in the world, that would most likely be among them.

"Of course," Carl answered. "Nick, you can walk behind me."

Nick nodded.

"Irwin," Carl said, and Irwin glanced at him. "You walk in front of me, please."

Irwin took a deep breath, sighed, and nodded.

"Go," Carl said.

Irwin started to run towards the west, and Carl followed after him.

Nick was running just behind Carl.

The three of them reached the tunnel and ran through it.

When they came out from the other side, they ran further towards the west.

The things that Nick had seen should have left by now.

Sure enough, over the next couple of minutes of running, they didn't see anyone else.

Eventually, they reached the lifeless area north of the city.

Instead of jumping into the city, they walked around it counterclockwise.

They quickly saw the Carbon Fields and the guards there.

After exchanging some words with the guards, they passed through the Carbon Fields.

The Carbon Fields were filled with green bushes that didn't have any kind of fruits or flowers.

They were essentially just made of green leaves and brown bark.

After they left the Carbon Fields, they quickly reached the southern entrance of the city.

They greeted the guards and entered the tunnel.

"Any Specters?" the two Experts guarding the bridge asked.

"No," Carl said.

One of the guards nodded and motioned for the three of them to pass.

Moments later, the three of them entered the city again.

They were back home.

It was actually shocking how short this excursion was.

From the time they had left the city to the time they had returned, barely an hour passed.

Yet, so much had happened within that hour.

"Nick," Carl said as he looked at him. "I'm going to bring Irwin to Solace and tell Hera and Marion about what happened. If you have the time, please come and tell us what you've seen. You still didn't tell us what these things that had been searching for us were."

"Sure," Nick said.

Irwin shot a short glance at Nick before gritting his teeth.

He looked like he wanted to say something.

Yet, he just looked away again.

Nick glanced at Irwin, who was refusing to look in Nick's direction.

Carl took a deep breath, put his hand on Irwin's shoulder, and guided him towards the Inner City.

The two of them left Nick behind in the Outer City.

For a while, Nick didn't move.

Eventually, he jumped to the side and traveled from rooftop to rooftop.

After some seconds, Nick reached the roof of a familiar house.

He hadn't been here in a long time.

The last time he had been here, he had been thinking about what to do with Wyntor.

That was also when Julian had shown up.

For a while, Nick just looked at the red curtain of mist in front of him.

Irwin had attempted to kill him.

He deserved to die.

And yet, as Nick looked at the red curtain, an image popped into his mind.

It was an image of himself.

And that image overlapped with Irwin.

Nick saw a lot of himself in Irwin.

Nick had done many things he regretted, and he still felt indescribable guilt.

Wasn't the reason why Nick was doing all of this to redeem himself?

Wasn't he searching for forgiveness?

Nick thought about Irwin.

Then, he thought about himself.

'But do I even deserve forgiveness?'