Lazy Dungeon Master

The Blacksmithing Town of Corky (2)

​ And so it quickly turned into us buying alcohol and food from a nearby bar.

​ It wasn’t called the dwarf village for nothing. Some dwarf came over carrying a tankard that looked like a small barrel with alcohol in it and exchanged a toast with Gozoh.

​ And other than me, Rokuko, Ichika, and Meat were here as well.

​ “Goshujin-sama~, what, yer not gonna drink? C’mooon, drink, yeah?”

​ “Oi Ichika, stop pouring that. You’re really drunk.”

​ “C’mooon, we’re in the dwarf village, how could ya not drink?”

​ Yep, you should stick to juice. Ichika’s so free despite being a slave. Well, not like I mind.

​ “Though really, Gozoh’s hometown is so full of drinkers.”

​ “Gahahahaha, ye should drink up too!”

​ “I’ll have to pass, I am sick, after all. Right, Rokuko?”

​ When I looked over to Rokuko next to me, she’d just taken her lips away from a stein of her own.

​ “Puhaaah… so bitter… I knew drinking juice would’ve been better…”

​ “You—wait, who gave Rokuko alcohol!?”

​ “That would be me!”

​ “Shikina! Don’t give children alcohol!”

​ I glared at Shikina, who was waving her hand from the other end of the table.

​ “Fueh? Rokuko-dono is a high elf, just like Haku-sama. Is she not much older than she looks?”

​ “Her ears are obviously not an elf’s, how’d you make that mistake?”

​ “I figured it was because of some magic tool. I mean, even I have one of those, so I figured just changing her ears wouldn’t be hard. Probably!”

​ “Is it time for a ban on lewdness? You no-good elf… hyou!?”

​ Just as I started reprimanding Shikina, I felt something brush against me under the table. Trembling as I pushed my chair back to see what it was, I saw Meat, her face flushed red.

​ My movement caused her to cling to my legs again.

​ “Me—Kuro? What’s wrong?”

​ “Goshujin-sama’s scent…”

​ “You’re drunk!? Oi, who gave Kuro alcohol!?”

​ “Huh? That wasn’t juice? Ahahaha~”

​ “Rokuko!? It was yooou!?”

​ It’d be dangerous to call her Meat in front of so many people. God dang it, are none of these people sane!?

​ Where can I escape to…?

​ Kehma-kun, over here!

​ Receptionist Anita-san! Legal loli lady! You win!

​ I took Rokuko and Meat—who’d been clinging to my leg—under my arms and fled to Anita-san.

​ “Are ye alright, Kehma-kun, children?”

​ “I’m saved… could I have some water?”

​ “Certainly, here… oh, my bad, that was alcohol. This one’s water, here.”

​ Handing back the alcohol for water, I had Rokuko and Meat drink. When I brought the glass close to each of their mouths, they drank a small bit of it… alright, calm down, me. I almost pet them. I really would have if my hands weren’t taken.

​ “Uuueah, Kehmaaa, Kehma… nn…”

​ “Goshujin-samaaaa… meat… zzz…”

​ And so they fell asleep. The two girls were fast asleep.

​ I figured the two of them were better off resting, so I decided to take them to the inn… but then I remembered that we still hadn’t settled on one to stay at.

​ “Hey, Wataru. What inn are we staying at? Rokuko and Kuro want to sleep.”

​ “Oh, there’s one next to Gozoh-san’s family’s house, so there.”

​ “Alright, so where’s Gozoh’s family’s house?”

​ “Oh? So the girlies got smashed? The house is close by. Oi guys, I’ma be steppin’ out, gotta bring Kehma and them to my house.”

​ Leaving the festivities with Gozoh leading us, I carried Rokuko and Meat to the inn.

​ … I thought about this a bit ago, but boy would my lower back be killing me if I didn’t have this golem assist. Even if they’re little girls, two of them are enough weight to overwhelm me.

​ “So Gozoh, what do your parents do? Kantra’s family are all blacksmiths right?”

​ “We’re adventurers specialized in mining.”

​ Mining specialty, so I guess there are metallic golems around here too?

​ “Dungeons’re great places te mine from, some have minin’ spots like the one here. Though they keep producin’ ore, monsters also come right out at ye, so it’s somethin’ fer adventurers to do.”

​ “Heeh, so there’s stuff like that too?”

​ I secretly looked through the DP Catalog. It looked like there were mining areas for the more common metals. They were in the treasure category.

​ I wonder if mining areas are possible because they’re common, or if it’s common because there are mining areas for them? Eh, either way works.

​ It might have just been that it wasn’t in my catalog, but I figured precious metals like gold, silver, and mithril probably needed natural veins or certain monsters.

​ “Ah, here we are.”

​ [Honey Grove Arbor]. A three story stonework inn pretty close to the guild. Nearby was a two story stonework house that seemed to be Gozoh’s family’s house.

​ “Roppu and I’ll be staying at me parents’, so guess it’ll just be rooms for Wataru, Shikina, and the three of ye? Four rooms should do.”

​ Gozoh went in and greeted the inn’s owner. The person wasn’t a dwarf, but a bear beastkin.

​ As expected from them being neighbors, they knew each other and had launched into a discussion for the first time in a long while… I’d like to hurry up and get to sleep though…

​ A while later, Gozoh came back scratching his head.

​ “Oi, Kehma. They don’t have enough rooms, just two.”

​ “What… oh well then. Then Wataru and Shikina can stay at your place. My party will use the inn.”

​ “… They’re probably gonna be drinkin’ the night away anyway, so aye.”

​ It should be fine if I just leave Shikina to Wataru… they both look like they’re getting pretty drunk, though. I don’t care if they cross the line either, I’ll just be able to push it all on Wataru that way.

​ I was at least able to secure our inn accommodations one way or the other, so I could finally lay Rokuko and Meat down.

​ … Guess I’ll sleep too?

​ I rolled out my futon in the room next to where I put the two to sleep and fell asleep.

*

​ When I woke up, I felt something soft pressing against me.

​ “…”

​ I suddenly thought about just falling back asleep since it was pretty warm and comfy… but what exactly was this soft, bouncy thing? It definitely wasn’t my futon. This feeling touching my face… was definitely something wrapped in cloth, but it wasn’t cloth on the inside.

​ And it stank of alcohol. No, like, it really stank of it. Wait, hold up, am I being held onto?

​ I raised my face as much as I could.

​ “Afuuuuh… that’sh tickle… ishhh~…”

​ It was Ichika. Why am I being Ichika’s hug pillow? Oi.

​ I calmed myself down and started sorting through my confusion.

​ … It probably happened like this.

1. Gozoh told them that he left us in the inn.
2. Ichika come to the inn to rest too.
3. The inn’s owner guided her to her room… Correction. My room.
4. The drunken Ichika went into the futon.
5. Stayed like that all night ← Present

​ What. Did Ichika and I look like a couple?

​ … Whatever. It’s better than if Rokuko came to sleep with them.

​ But what should I do now? Going back to sleep would be bad, but I can’t move since she’s clinging to me so tightly.

​ Right. Let’s ignore everything and just go back to sleep.

​ Coming up with such a nice idea, I decided to move back to my previous position—wait. That would mean I’d be cramming my face back into Ichika’s breasts, isn’t that like really bad? On the other hand, me staying like this and looking straight up into Ichika’s face was also horribly hard.

​ “Aaaw, I cannah eat… anymore…”

​ “Uwaapp—!?”

​ Suddenly hugged even tighter, my face filled Ichika’s valley… she reeked of alcohol. I could at least breathe though.

​ It was something Ichika did herself, so I call it an act of God! Besides, Ichika’s my slave anyway so there’s no problem even if I bury my face in her breasts. Yeah, it’s OK! Time to go back to sleep.

​ Just as I decided to go back to sleep, Ichika started squirming.

​ “Nnn… huh? Hmm… a dream…? But that huge curry bread… kuh, I coulda eaten it then…”

​ Oi, why’d you have to wake up now? You’re going to wake up with my face between your breasts…? G-Go back to sleep! Sleeping is the best, it overcomes everything!

​ “Huh… I’m holding onto some…. thing!?”

​ Ichika stiffened when she realized. Come on, I was so close to her that I could literally hear her heartbeat.

​ “This isn’t… Meat-senpai… h-huh… G-Goshujin-sama?”

​ We both had black hair, but nope.

​ Looks like Ichika finally noticed.

​ I just kept pretending to sleep. In, out, in, out. I just breathed. Ignore me, just leave, everything will be fine… no, please, leave.

​ “How did I even get… owowow, guess I drank too much yesterday, I can’t remember… the inn? Huh, why am I with Goshujin-sama… huh?”

​ Ichika’s heart started pounding faster. She was probably confused.

​ “… … Oh!? So I’m a hug pillow! He got me drunk for it!?”

​ Why would you think that!? —Ah, I want to say something but I have to keep pretending to sleep. I’ve gone this far, so I’ll give sleeping my all to see it through!

​ “Oh come on~. I would’ve done it whenever, he didn’t need to go to so much trouble. Oh, but maybe Goshujin-sama’s the kind that doesn’t like breasts?”

​ Ichika said something embarrassing while patting my head. You’re wrong! That’s not it! And I do have a leg fetish but I don’t dislike breasts!

​ “… Whoops, I might wake Goshujin-sama up. That was a close one. Maaan, it’s a good thing I asked Meat-senpai about this stuff~”

​ Saying that, Ichika hugged my head lightly. Yeah so uhh, I have no clue what to do now.

​ “… But I don’t really wanna nibble him~”

​ The heck’s she saying? Did I just mishear her?

​ Whatever. I’m sleeping. I heard nothing.

​ By the way, Meat came along a little while later to teach Ichika [The Method to Slip Away Without Waking Goshujin-samaMe], so I stuck with my plan of not noticing anything. End of story.