Lazy Dungeon Master-Novel

Uwaaah, Weak Little Girl [1]

Alright then.

Now that I know about Setsuna and Nayuta’s identity, the dungeon’s probably safe. This is the upside to sharing info with each other.

Everything should be alright now.

And after winding up spending the following two weeks sleeping day and night, not thinking about anything in particular—

“Village Chief Kehma, let’s get a brothel.”

“… What’re you talking about?”

Village Sub Chief Wozuma suddenly started talking about something ridiculous.

A brothel. In other words, a shop that used professional Onee-sans to do lewd things.

A bad place as far as a child’s upbringing was concerned. Very bad.

“Let’s get a brothel.”

“No, I heard you. By brothel… you mean *that*? I mean, the establishment meant for adults?”

“Yes, a brothel.”

“Do you want to die, Wozuma? You do know who’s supporting the village’s—… the inn’s owner, right?”

Rather, Wozuma is Haku-san’s pawn. Even if there were some people between him and Haku-san, even the part-timers could figure out the person backing Rokuko. There’s no way that someone as excellent as Wozuma doesn’t know about Haku-san.

If Wozuma being the Village Sub-Chief was her doting on Rokuko, he should know that just bringing something like that anywhere near Rokuko would be enough to upset her.

“There aren’t many women here… and the number of frustrated men is rising. It’s necessary in order to control that… at worst, all of the employees might be assaulted.”

“Ah… I’d just like to say for them to go to Sia, do we really need one?”

“This is a mine, after all. Not having a brothel at a mine is rare.”

So if there’s a mine, there’s a brothel… that kind of thing?

Rather, it’s like wanting to dig into another kind of hole since you’ve already dug one kind? So fussy. Well, this mine’s actually a dungeon so it’s not like they’re actually digging holes. [2]

“In truth, research has shown that areas with brothels have lower levels of crime and improved public safety.”

He said that while putting a document down on the desk. Did you actually go and put that together?

He feels crazy passionate about it, his eyes even look bloodshot.

“But I refuse. Have them go to Sia, there’s even a road.” [3]

“Is that so… Honestly, I thought that you might consider it because of their stepping massages, Village Chief.” [4]

“Nng! Gefu, geh, gofun…! N-no, no can do. I said no, so no.” [5]

“That’s unfortunate.”

Wozuma sighed. Perhaps he just wanted to go to it himself?

He should go to Sia then. It’d only take a few hours by wagon.

“But Wozuma, I didn’t expect you to propose like that. Did something happen?”

“No no, it’s just that peoples’ desire has been accumulating recently. Nothing in particular has happened.”

Really now… but there is a demand for it?

“… If you’d like, how about you head off to a brothel in Sia with some of the people that want to? Like a holiday from the bar. Kinue-san could handle the bar while you’re away if it’s just for two or three days.”

“No, the bar is my life. Thank you for your concern though, Village Chief Kehma.”

It’s not like there isn’t stuff on my mind too, but for me it’s more wanting to sleep than my libido.

I know that it’s not like that for everyone, but I decided to reject building a brothel anyway.

*

That night.

I used Meat as a hug pillow as usual, but I had a strange dream.

The dream was me in our inn’s suite, I was sleeping on the bed.

… Yep, I can do anything I want in a dream so there’s no problem with that at all.

However, why is there some girl with pink hair who I have no recollection of sleeping with right next to me? Moreover, she doesn’t have clothes on. I’m not a lolicon though?”

“Hey, Village Chief-sama.”

“… Who’re you?”

“Huhu, I wonde—”

I kicked the little girl out of the bed.

“W-what are you doing!? Doing that to such a cute girl!”

“You must be cold, too bad. Well then… night.”

“Wait, please wait! W-why? I-is that it? Was I not shy enough? Sorry, please let me start over!”

I rolled over, turning my back to the pink-haired girl who asked for a redo and closed me eyes.

Haaaah…

“P-please don’t go to sleep! How about we do something good together, what do you think?”

“What, you’re not going to start over…? Go home then.”

“Sorry, I’ll start over right now!”

I blacked out for a moment.

When I came to, the pink-haired girl was sleeping next to me. Looks like she’s wearing a white micro bikini this time. Yep, haven’t I said I’m not a lolicon? Ah, I didn’t, did I?

“Y-you like it like this, don’t you?”

The little girl was blushing.

Not bothering to respond, I kicked her out of the bed.

“Why? Why!? Aren’t I perfect!?”

“Haaaah…”

“It won’t work even if you pretend to sleep! Look, look! One of the little girls you love so much is spreading her legs right now, don’t you want to see? It’s fine to do whatever you want~. Hey hey~”

I ignored her and tried getting back to sleep… but she really is noisy, isn’t she?

“… Alright, you said I can do whatever I want?”

“Yes! You’re dreaming right now, so you can do whatever naaaaughty thing you want. Socially revolting, disgusting, or even bizarre things, anything’s OK! I await your desire!”

“Then… let’s see, I’ll need a rope and a gag—ah.”

A rope and gag popped into existence, I took the chance and prepared a blindfold as well.

“Eh? Umm, where did those come from just now?”

“It’s a dream right? They didn’t have to come from anywhere. It’s a dream, after all.”

“Wow, you’re used to this… who are you?”

“Well, keep still for a sec.”

I attached a blindfold to the little girl as she waited there patiently. I then tied her up with the rope so that she couldn’t move.

“Ahn~? S-so tight…!”

“Yeah yeah.”

I put the gag in the girl’s mouth that started spouting a heated voice.

Now she’s quiet. Good.

I laid back down in the bed.

“—You didn’t do anything!?”

“Tch, you escaped…? Maybe I’ll use packing tape next?”

“Uwaaaan, there’s something wrong with this guy’s head!”

Huh? Did a half naked little girl just say there’s something wrong with my head?

“No, wouldn’t it be strange for a human to make a move on a young girl?”

“But you should be venting your desires, this is a dream!”

“No thanks, I’m good.”

“… Eh, n-no way, you’re already venting it enough in reality? A-are you a pervert?”

Well, my desire to sleep is being vented enough since I’m sleeping in reality, but that’s no reason to call me a pervert.

“Ah, I’m getting cold, can I get in next to you?”

“Oh well. It’s obvious that’d happen with what you’re wearing.”

I let the micro bikini girl into the futon.

“… Village Chief-sama’s so warm~”

“That so? Well, night. Get some good sleep okay? You’re still growing.”

“Kay~”

The little girl said a pretty dodgy line when she got into the futon after I let her in, but she started to doze off.

Then, after making sure that her eyes were shut and was asleep—I went to sleep as well.

Footnotes:

The title is a play on a Japanese meme. In short, the original is ‘Woah, super strong little girl!’—like a magical girl or something. This title is the opposite, a really weak little girl. If you want to see a page that explains it, check it out here. (It’s in Japanese though) Return

You get one guess as to what that ‘other kind of hole’ is… Return

The raw says Tsuia rather than Sia. Seeing as how Tsuia is a mountain(range), I think it was a typo on the author’s part, so I altered it. Return

A stepping massage is the same kind of massage that Meat gave him a while back. Return

Err… he’s coughing here.