Letting My Brother's Best Friend Take My V-Card

WHERE | AM NOW JOSH PRESENT DAY

The music was too loud, the lights too bright, and the laughter aroundgrated on my nerves like nails on a

chalkboard. | sat at the edge of the booth, cradling a glass of whiskey in one hand and swirling it idly as |

watched the amber liquid catch the light. My mates were laughing, cracking jokes, and egging each other on like

this was just another Friday night.

Maybe for them, it was. For me, it was an escape.

| wasn't here for the camaraderie or the banter. Hell, | wasn't even here for the women strutting past in their

skimpy dresses, tossing flirtatious glances at our table. | was here for the burn of the whiskey as it slid down my

throat and the hope that it would numb the gnawing ache in my chest.

It wasn't working.

| should've been at home. | should've been reading Asha a bedtstory or at least sitting by her crib, making

sure she was okay. Instead, | was here, drowning in self-pity and liquor, trying to forget the life | was supposed to

have.

Laura's face flashed in my mind, uninvited and unwanted. | could see her so clearly, her eyes filled with life and

her smile lighting up the room. But that wasn't how | remembered her ' most these days. Now, all | could see was

her pale face in that hospital bed, motionless except for the rise and fall of her chest as the machines did the

work her body couldn't.

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My phone vibrated on the table, the screen lighting up with Luke's name. Again. | ignored it, flipping the phone

over so | wouldn't have to see it. | already knew what he wanted. He'd been callingout on my bullshit for

weeks now, tellingto step up, to be there for Laura, for Asha.

What did he know? He had Jess. He had his perfect little family. He didn't know what it was like to feel like your

entire world had been ripped away and replaced with an empty shell.

| drained the rest of my whiskey, relishing the burn, and motioned for another. As I did, a waitress sauntered by,

her outfit leaving little to the imagination. Her eyes caught mine, and | grabbed her wrist, pulling her toward me.

'Shots," | said, my voice rough. "Bring us a round."

$

She smiled, but it wasn't real. | knew fake smiles when | saw them. It didn't matter. She'd bring the drinks, and

that's all I cared about.

The guys at the table cheered, raising their glasses as the shots arrived. They were single. They could be here

and do this without a second thought. Me? | should've grown out of this phase years ago. | had grown out of it-

when Laura cinto my life. When we built something real, something worth holding

onto.

And then | went and destroyed it

| threw back the shot, letting the alcohol scorch its way down my throat, and shoved the thought aside. The night

blurred after that-more drinks, more noise, more nothing.

By the t| stumbled back to my apartment, it was late. The

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nanny was waiting, her arms crossed and her expression tight. She didn't say anything as | walked through the

door, but the disappointment in her eyes spoke volumes.

It didn't matter. No one could be as disappointed inas | was in myself.

"How was she?" | asked, slurring slightly.

"Fine. She's asleep," the nanny replied curtly. "I left a bottle out for her night feed. I'll be back at seven."

| nodded, not meeting her gaze, and watched her leave. The door clicked shut behind her, and | was left alone in

the quiet of my apartment.

Sneaking into Asha's room, | found her fast asleep in her crib, her tiny chest rising and falling with each breath.

She looked so peaceful, so innocent, and it broke me. She deserved so much better than this. Better than me.

| adjusted the monitor on her nightstand, making sure it was angled just right, and noticed the bottle the nanny

had left. I'd have to warm it up if she woke during the night.

Sinking into the chair in the corner of her room, I leaned back and closed my eyes. | didn't trust the monitor. |

never had. If | wasn't in the room with her, | wouldn't sleep at all.

The alcohol buzzed in my veins, making my thoughts heavier, slower. But no amount of whiskey could keep

Laura from creeping into my mind. She was always there, hauntingin my dreams, in the quiet moments

when | let my guard down. | hated myself for not going to see her. For being too much of a

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WHERE | AM NOW

coward to face her. For letting my own pain take precedence over what she needed, what Asha needed.

The selfish part ofwished | could

carve her out of my chest, cut away

the part ofthat stifhelangedto

her, hedalise it hurt too damn much.

But even as | thought it, | knew it was

] q on g

impossible. Laura wasn't just a part

of me. She was me. The content is

on novelenglish.net! Read the latest

chapter there!

| shifted in the chair, pulling the

blanket over my lap, and forced,

myself to focyscon Wsha. She was

the Bhiy esrson | kept going. She

deserved a father who showed up,

|

who wasn't a complete The content

is on novelenglish.net! Read the latest

chapter there!

mess.

"I'll do better," | whispered into the dark, though | wasn't sure who | was trying to convince-Asha, Laura, or

myself.

The night stretched on, the room

quiet except for the soft hum of the

2 ' 2

monitor and Asha RENAMING

Sleep tyggephateme; Sd I'let it take

over, hoping that maybe, just maybe,

| q

Laura wouldn't haunttonight. But

deep down, | already knew she

would. She always did. WHERE FAM

NOW The content is on

novelenglish.net! Read the latest

chapter there!