MMORPG: Rise of the Peerless Pumpkinmancer

In a world of darkness that reminded one of space, a single being watched a glowing blue holographic clock. In exactly 1 hour 7 minutes and 37 seconds, it would be possible to log into Infinite!

“This is nice. I’ve missed this.” Jack murmured, shaking in excitement. He had always loved the maintenance void. It felt like awaiting presents from Santa! It was also the best environment to think: quiet and peaceful.

Now, what was Jack supposed to do with his life? Should he become the Herald of Light once more?! He carefully considered the Pros and Cons:

Pros:

+ Legendary Class!

+ Already knowing the skills!

+ Intricate knowledge of how the Church works!

+ Wide AoE heals and buffs that make raiding OP!

+ Powerful Church NPCs to dominate the world!

+ Access to a wide network to make money easily!

+ Leveling up at the speed of a rocket on steroids!

Cons:

– Goddess Commandments

Since he was a very logical man, the outcome was obvious: fuck being the Herald of Light! No, seriously, fuck it! It was akin to voluntarily locking oneself in prison and throwing away the key.

Not picking this Class would remove some of the advantages of his previous life…But, so what?! This time, Jack would change his life entirely! If he couldn’t even stand at the top with all his experience, then what was the point?!

“Actually, let’s do a drastic career change! Before, I was a boring human in the camp of light, but I’ll join the side of darkness this time. It will be so damn satisfying to fight these stuck-up NPC that I had to babysit in the past!” Jack chuckled.

What was the exact opposite of the Holy Church’s faith? The undead, aka necromancy! He could already picture himself swaggering from town to town with an invincible undead army, trampling on a few unfortunate players and collecting loot tax!

But then Jack suddenly froze, feeling a phantom pain in his chest. Necromancers were great and all but also so damn squishy! What if assassins went after him? He couldn’t accept that!

“Wait, what if?!” He suddenly jumped up happily, having a flash of insight.

He wouldn’t become a boring old necromancer. Nope, he would create his own unique Class from scratch! It would go in this specific order:

1. Necromancer (INT) —> OP solo clear, but too squishy.

+

2. Tank Class (STR) —> Not squishy anymore but lacks mobility

+

3. Mobility Class (AGI) —> Great mobility, but requires agility for damage.

But, intelligence, strength, and agility couldn’t be leveled up all at once. He’d have to min-max the shit out of it! This was an exciting challenge, to say the least!

Another point to note, if he was serious about becoming a necromancer, he would have to become an undead himself. Why? Because of his goal!

If he wanted to be #1 in Infinite, Jack would need to be ahead of others. For this to be possible, he had to be self-reliant! He couldn’t afford to get a self-heal for humans and a dark energy heal for the undead.

After that, he just needed to add a touch of personality! Pumpkins would do since Lilly loved them for some reason.

“With this, it’s decided! I shall create my own legend: the amazing Pumpkinmancer!” Jack’s voice resounded across the realm.

This goal would take a lot to realize: many individual classes, poison, a method to keep his sanity, a mana source, a great helper….and much more!

That is when the glowing launch countdown reached 1 hour. Instantly, a handsome butler appeared out of thin air in a white glow! His classic suit screamed of sophistication, and he had a well-groomed white springy mustache.

If Jack wasn’t mistaken, this one was a copy of Strateg, the god of strategy. It would be the same for every player’s first login as a copy of a random god would serve as a tutorial NPC. They had valuable information, but it was all utterly worthless to Jack.

“Welcome young traveler to the marvelous world of Infi—” He graciously said.

“Skip! I want another helper.” Jack decisively interrupted.

“But we have just met! I assure you that—”

“Skip! I don’t care. Stop wasting my time!” Jack repeated.

That’s how the poor god (copy) had no choice but to leave and send a replacement. In the following minutes, the void was filled with flashes of light as many gods appeared only to be shut down by Jack!

—Flash of dark purple light—

“Rancor? Skip!”

—Flash of brownish-red light—

“Vulcan? Next!”

—Flash of deep green light—

“Greenwood? No, thank you!”

—Flash of rusty golden light—

“Chrono? Get out of here!”

Every single god was savagely rejected one after the other. One had to know that all these helping copies had the same knowledge available. They also couldn’t provide a concrete advantage at all in any way.

Then, why was Jack driving them all away one after the other? Was it because he disliked them? Was it because he felt good turning gods down? Nope! (Maybe a bit) The main reason was that these ones were all men! Then finally…

—Flash of brilliant white light—

That’s when appeared the Goddess of Light in all her beauty. She had golden eyes and lower back-length white hair. Her face was a work of art, her waist slender, her arms delicate, and yet she was THICK with ginormous breasts!

Honestly, she should have been the goddess of abundance, or perhaps the goddess of fertility, or even the oppai goddess with her physique. How many had lost themselves in her deep cleavage or found themselves peaking at her ample rump?

She was precisely what Jack needed!

Did he have a perverted design? Not at all! He had a much deeper purpose, one that necessitated a goddess!

“Welcome lost lamb to the world of —”

“Skip!”

“Let me guide you toward the l—”

“Skip!”

“Please select your character appearance and—”

“Skip!”

Jack had already resolved not to remain human. He would have the opportunity to change his looks when performing the Race Change Ritual. Thus, he ignored this step for now.

This series of skips left the poor goddess at a loss. What was she supposed to do now? Ah, obviously convert him to the Church!

“Have you ever heard of—”

“Skip!”

“….What—”

“Skip!”

As soon as she would open her mouth, Jack would instantly tell her to shut up. Well, he had done the same with every god so far. But, he had a plan with this one.

“Alright, I can consider joining the Church of Light, but you have to help me first. Do you understand?”

“Yes I—”

“Skip! Oh, sorry, habit! Anyway, I need you to act like the goddess of love herself. Don’t be afraid to take a sexy pose. Then, repeat this while making a peace sign!” Jack murmured directives in her ear.

Good thing this was only a copy because the real one would have tried murdering him already. As Jack activated the Infinite gameplay recording function, the goddess reluctantly began her act!

“Welcome all of you to Chaotic Pumpkins Gaming! Careful, the following content is rated MFEAFGC for motherfucking epic as fuck gaming content! Enjoy, subscribe, like and comment!” She expertly followed the directives.

“Alright, let’s try a few more names. How about “I am Legion”, “One Gaming”, “World Domination”, “Peerless One”, and many more…”

The poor goddess had no choice but to record material for Jack’s upcoming streams. Still, he was just preparing in advance. He would never stream real-time gaming— otherwise, it would give away information and invite PKs.

After an hour, the NPC could only sigh in relief as it was freed from its misery. Then, a blue aura enveloped Jack as he was teleported directly to the game. It was finally starting!

[Welcome to New Leaf Village!]

Creator’s Thought

Fun fact: Infinite Co didn’t mind one bit even if someone used their NPCs in a stream. Well, as long as it was related to the game. Plus, it wasn’t like I would have much time to stream anything else. Yep, that sexy goddess would be the perfect clickbait!