MMORPG: Rise of the Peerless Pumpkinmancer

A brave hero faced the Demon King, refusing to give up even with the odds stacked against him!

"I-I woooon't admit defeat! Nooooo!" The flushed CPR Dude raised his mug once more, even as he was completely wasted.

"Muhahahahaha, this is what you get for challenging me!" Jack towered above his fallen opponent, a man that had trouble standing on his feet before turning to the crowd.

"On this day, forget all your problems, drink, and be merry! Let the beer flow through you! Muhahaha!"

The surrounding players all raised their cups.

"I can drink to that!"

"Drink till we respawn!"

"Can alcohol even kill you in Infinite?"

"I don't know, but I'll figure it out for sure!"

That's when CPR Dude finally faltered. He was so damn sleepy! He was drunk enough to get the wasted debuff. The people saw him fall in slow motion, with Jack quickly reacting. He heroically reached out and….grabbed the falling mug!

"Saved it!" Jack hoisted the cup high up in victory amidst the cheers.

"Jack won this drinking bout!" referee Bubblegum stepped up as CPR Dude fell with a thud. Meh, he'd be fine.

"Woo!" (Victorious!)

"Noooo, I lost my bet! CPR Dude, I was counting on you!"

"Hehe, betting on the dark horse isn't that great when the opponent is a Demon!"

"Now, now. How about another game? Have you guys ever seen chickens fight? It's fucking glorious! Chicken Master, it's your time to shine!" Jack shouted.

That one youngster who was in charge of the chicken arena stepped forward. He was carrying two cages with chickens looking evilly at one another. They knew that whoever won the next fight would get delicious vegetables!

"Today, I've brought Cheesecake and Drumstick. You can be sure that they are unparalleled gladiators!"

"Cheesecake?! Drumstick?!"

"Damn, I'm gonna get hungry!"

"Same, my stomach is already rumbling."

Luckily a friendly noob came along as their savior. He was carrying a plater of sausages resolved to make a good impression on the seniors.

"Guys, I've gotten this from the Butcher. If you all want some!"

"Food? You're a goddamn hero!"

"Hell yeah!"

"Woo!!!!"

They all began munching, their faces glowing in happiness.

When tipsy, all human urges feel that much better— and eating is the fucking best! The sausages felt so tender, juicy, and tasteful that many fucking moaned in appreciation.

The noob also ate one, as did all the others. But as he did, his face suddenly turned livid.

"G-guys, it says I've unlocked cannibalism!"

"Pfft- Welcome to the fucking club!"

"Demonic Legion Special, hahaha!"

"His face is priceless!"

The player could only stare at them all between tears and panic. What the fuck was wrong with them?! He was fucking getting sick! That's when the Demon King slapped his back.

"Don't worry about it. As long as it tastes good, it's fine. Plus, it came from free-range players. No pesticides were used either, great quality." The madman gave a thumb up.

"F-free range p-p-players?!!!"

While still chuckling, they turned to the clucking chickens.

"I'm betting on cheesecake!"

"Drumstick here. He looks so dashing!"

"I'm an OG. All I'll say is FRIED CHICKEN!"

"Fried chicken! Fried chicken! Fried Chicken!"

They all burst out laughing. This sure had been one hell of a fight. They had been fighting chickens, and yet it had fucking felt like they were going against an incredibly evil orc army or something.

Jack then appeared solemn for once:

"Remember people. The first rule of chicken fight club: you don't talk about chicken fight club... You fucking bring people over instead! The more, the merrier, hehe!"— So much for that serious buildup.

Soon began the fight of the century! — …or close?

Cheesecake VS Drumstick

The fighters showed incredible resourcefulness. Whether it was pecking, pecking, or even pecking (?!), they fought without a shred of mercy.

They even uttered war cries! (?)

— Cluck! — (Cheesecake)

— Cluck! Cluck! — (Drumstick)

— Cluck! Cluck! Cluck! — (Cheesecake)

— Cluck! Cluck! Cluck! Cluck! — (Drumstick)

…

"Go cheesecake! Show him who's boss!"

"Go drumstick. I just bet my life savings on you!" (?!)

They kept going relentlessly, showing the stamina of Greek heroes. None wanted to give up on the wonderful reward that awaited them! Food! Great food!

Then it suddenly reached a climax as the both of them finally fell on the ground, exhausted. Wait, what?! It was a goddamn tie?!

"What about the bets?"

"Anyone here bet on a tie?"

"I did! Hahaha! I'm rich!"

The emotions ran wild as the players came to terms with their loss. Even then, the mood remained great. What was the fun of betting without risk!

"Welp, I'm out of silvers, haha. Time to dance!"

"I'm gonna request We Will Rock All of You!"

"Nice, also time to hunt for an Internet GF!"

"Looking for a BF! Must be level 7+!"

Hearing all this talk about dancing, Jack suddenly turned to someone very dear to his heart. They had been through so much together, and their personality was so compatible too!

"Say, would you do me the honor of giving me this dance!"

"Woo!" (Hell yeah!)

That's how Jack and Moon Moon went to shake their asses on the dance floor.

The little wolf did its best to copy the surrounding humans. But there was only one issue: it had more feet! They danced with two, while it had four. It took a lot of adaptation! But it was a smart wolf, so it managed!

But that's when they both noticed one chicken in their midst. Except, there was definitely something odd with this one. Why was it wearing a fancy red bow tie?!

Not only weren't the surrounding players attacking it, but they even made a bit of room for it as the chicken followed the beat.

"A tamed chicken?" Jack remarked.

"Yep, this is Michael-Clucking-Jackson. Here, watch this: Use Moonwalk!" A nearby player shouted.

It began to backtrack with its little claws. Holy shit. This chicken really could moonwalk!

"Hey, who does it belong to?"

"Michael doesn't belong to anyone! He's not an object!" A pouting girl suddenly stepped forward. She was frowning while glaring at him.

Damn, this one seemed spicy! It would be fun to corrupt her....