MMORPG: Rise of the Peerless Pumpkinmancer

Jack was getting ready to execute the most insane and stupid battle plan ever to exist since the release of INFINITE!

After today, he would finally have his place in the PANTHEON! It required him to defeat the Nihility Dragon, the current final Boss of Infinite. It was said only to be possible to beat it with a raid full of twice limit-breakers.

The problem was that Jack’s party only had 10% of its members with such qualifications. All the remaining were nothing more than max-level canon fodders.

How was it possible for cannon fodder to be max level?! Well, they were only cannon-fodder to the very top Players: the 1% of the 1% of the 1% of the 1%! In that realm, limit-breakers were everything!

To become a limit breaker, one had to complete insanely perverse trials. These were the ultimate challenges of the game. Even finishing a single one meant that one was a great ranker with both amazing gear and skills.

Even then, Jack wasn’t about to give up. Since defeating it with the known method was impossible, he would get creative! He went out of his way to recruit the players with the highest damage potential without regard to their survivability.

Their job would just be to sit in relative safety and DPS. No one was doing such a thing because it was impossible to keep the Boss’s aggro on one individual— or so everyone thought.

Jack knew how proud dragons were. If there was one thing that they were especially proud about, it was their breath attack. Jack managing to regain consciousness on his own was the greatest insult to the monster.

Jack only needed to give it a little push. As a squishy cloth-wearing Archpriest, he would keep the aggro on him. Yes, it was madness!

It was now time for the insults:

“I’m your fucking father, you dumb fucking overgrown lizard! What’s with these ugly as fuck tentacles?! This MMO may have 18+ content, but it’s not a goddamn H game! How can you be so stupid as to confuse the two?!”

This dragon was wise and wouldn’t be overwhelmed by anger that easily. That’s why Jack kept going relentlessly:

“You have such huge wings, but you can only flap them weakly because you’re so fat! Are you a dragon, or are you a chicken? Also, what’s with the tornadoes? Are you jealous of the wind dragons?”

“Hey, Nihility Dragon. Do you want a job? I can offer you a respectable position as a barbecue stand. We’ll just use all these useless spikes of yours as skewers for the meat. Ah, don’t worry, we’ll spare your chicken brethren.”

“Is that what you call a curse? How laughable! I can cleanse all of it with just one spell, talk about useless!”

“Aren’t you a little old to be copying someone else’s homework? How lazy and useless are you? Stop copying the players and create something original for once!”

“I have a gift for you! I brought you a wife! Look at this beauty! I made sure to pick one that would be just the right fit for you down there if you know what I mean ;).”

Jack threw a tiny gecko toward the titanic dragon. It seemed like that last one did the trick as he could feel so much murderous killing intent locking right on him. But Jack retained his calm and confidently declared:

“He’s locked unto me! Time to go all out, you guys! Fuck this Biatch up! HAHAHAHA.” His insane laughter filled the entire realm.

That is when many players began stripping their cosmetic equipment as they got serious. All around, many boring-looking players had suddenly turned into bloodthirsty devils.

The Noobs could only watch flabbergasted as about 100 weird-looking players revealed themselves one after the other. They gulped loudly in fright when they realized that about half of them had red names! They were murderers!

The Dragon rushed at Jack, but he was already gone. A nearby player had thrown him farther away. This was the plan: the tanks would throw Jack around, use him as bait, and try to slow the monster down. A single hit would be enough to defeat him, and a single error would doom the raid.

As Jack flew in the air, he kept casting S-ranks buffs as if beginner magic. Some of these abilities were renowned for being close to impossible to master and use. After all, magic in INFINITE wasn’t that simple.

Yet, he didn’t show any sign of stopping as he kept spinning airborne, at a speed that would have rendered the most skillful of assassins dizzy. He was only barely holding it together thanks to a Unique self-buff skill.

He could only do that because he was popping mana blessings like crazy, keeping his mana full. Each was worth 10k Credits (20k ramen portions) but it was a necessary sacrifice.

As he flew, he could see snippets of the battlefield and hear echoes of the shouts. The whole scene was a goddamn mess. The people he had brought along were quite peculiar too:

Archmages were throwing calamity level spells while yelling “EXPLOSION!!!”. There was only one explosion mage in their midst, yet all were shouting that attack name!

Archpriests were blessing their teammates boosting their power over 9000 going “WOLOLO-WOLOLO!

Archapotheticaries were throwing various poisonous and exploding flasks all over, turning the battlefield into a fireworks exhibition.

Archpaladins held weapons shiny enough to render anyone blind! “Here comes the holy hammer of justice, right in your ugly face!”

Archrangers were shooting more arrows than one could count. “Take this, you big fat lizard! This is the retribution of the Four Blind Archers. Zi*lregen, lizard goes boom!”

Archberserkers were bellowing as they carried various weapons bigger than them, with one of them fighting with a literal castle tower! “BERSERKER SMASH!”

Archmonks were slamming their palms, feet, bald heads, shoulders, butt, and every other imaginable body part into the vile creature. Good thing there was nudity prevention in the game, for they all proudly fought naked! “ORA ORA ORA!”

Archshadowknights were invoking the power of evil gods, with some even doing live sacrificial offerings. “Blood for the Blood evil Deity thingy!”

Archnecromancers were raising undead relentlessly akin to live factories. “Go, my spooky scary skeletons!”

Archsumoners were invoking other kinds of deadly beings all over the place. “Release the Dimensional Kraken!” & “Go, my Duck Legion!”

ArchDragonSlayers were excitingly shopping (kinda). “I’m wearing your brethren, and soon I’m gonna be wearing you!”

Archbards were motivating the troops in the frontline. Yes, most were happily dodging deadly attacks one after the other at close range as they let their musical talent shine. “We’re all going to fucking die! Lalalala!” “Never gonna give you u—”

Archninjas kept teleporting all over the place at a speed that would have rendered anyone sick while wearing strange outfits: flashy red suit, green tracksuit, maid outfit, etc.! They were brandishing two-handed weapons while shouting “NIN-NIN!”

Then there were the archfishermen, archblacksmiths, archarchitects, archenchanters, archjewelers, archtailors, archgatherers, archcooks, archminers, and many more. Some didn’t have a precise class either, but they still used the Arch-recurring joke.

The fight kept going, with Jack feeling like a potato sack, but that didn’t matter. They survived the second breath and finally the third breath attack. At that point, victory was in sight.

Jack couldn’t help but cackle loudly like a madman: “HAHAHAHA With this kill, I will finally have my place in the PANTHEON!” He then murmured under his breath. “I’ve finally done it, Lil’ sis. I hope you—”

But he was rudely interrupted. Next to his flying body, someone had suddenly appeared.

It was an individual wearing black ethereal-looking clothes that fluttered counter to the wind. Around that person’s neck, there was a medallion he was familiar with, the Eye of the Abyss: an assassin’s mark.

Jack instantly reacted, as he went to parry. He knew he could only survive 1 second at best against such a deadly assassin but it would be enough. His friends would come to his help, he trusted them!

This dumbass was in for a world of pain. Not only wouldn’t he get the clear title for the Nihility Dragon but he had just made a very petty enemy. Jack had a small smile on his face even in such a tense situation, but it then turned to a grimace.

He heard a cacophony of shouts as way too many spells and skills were thrown all over the place. The raid group he had carried all this while was revealing its true colors. The random members were turning on them!

No, nonono! Why?! This was the stupidest decision they could ever make! They would all fail! Why the betrayal?! No, it had been a setup from the very start! This was the only explanation!

“Stop this madness! We can all beat this raid together and enter History!!” Jack shouted, but none bothered listening as the slaughter continued.

His opponent then spoke. It was a cold voice, one that enjoyed seeing him suffer and oozed with greed. One that felt like gloating “It’s no use, broke bastard. They’ve all been bought. Your head is worth a lot right now, you know!”

His opponent swung its dagger, one sharp enough to tear the fabric of the world as it crackled with negative energy. Jack felt his arms grow weak, unable to block anymore. He was doomed.

The finishing blow came. The dagger moved too fast for him to see it, but he felt it. He felt a sudden burst of pain in his body and his soul.

Then Jack’s vision went dark….

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

━━━ YOU DIED! ━━━

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Creator’s Thought

I was so close, so damn close! No, who am I kidding? There was only 1 spot left. I was struggling so much to enter the very last position amongst the Pantheon. To others I was great, but to the True Rankers, I was nothing but a wannabe with big dreams. That was the sad reality.