MMORPG: Rise of the Peerless Pumpkinmancer

Inside New Leaf forest, a bloodthirsty-looking group of players was staring at a young wolf pup a distance away.

It was happily rolling in the grass, enjoying its simple existence. For the young creature, life was good. There was no need to work, there were no enemies, and as a virtual wolf, it wasn't bound by the mortal burdens.

What did the players see in such a cute creature? Loot, loot, and motherfucking loot! Oh, and also awesome bragging rights. How many could say they had defeated foxes? Probably a few. Then what about wolves? No one!

The players enthusiastically turned toward Jack.

"Boss, shall we use the usual strategy?"

"Boss, my big stick is throbbing in trepidation!"

"Boss, don't worry, we'll get you that wolf fur right now!"

Jack had to admit that his companions were super motivated. They didn't have any qualm whatsoever about violently murdering a wolf cub either. Bubblegum was the only one that could be seen frowning.

"What do you think, Seraphine?" Jack gently asked her.

"There's no way this cub is just defenseless. Attacking it will begin a boss battle, am I right?" She perspicaciously noticed.

This simple sentence instantly doused the heated ambiance. The players remembered how difficult the level 6 Chicken Boss had been. If the cub was already this level, how incredibly OP would this boss be?!

"Exactly. Right now, it's almost impossible to defeat the Alpha Wolf. It would require an army and good luck getting them all past the fox and wolf territory without any casualty." Jack explained.

They had all been eager to kill that wolf cub, not realizing the critical mistake it would have been. One mischievously teased: "Psst— Is your big stick still throbbing in trepidation?" Spoiler, it wasn't.

"Then why are we here?" CPR dude asked, perplexed. The players all perked their ears. Was there a secret monster, a secret dungeon, any secret really?!

"We're here to …. rob its lair!" Jack revealed amidst the curious gazes.

Robbing meant loot, and players loved some thick booty! As long as they succeeded once, they would be able to reproduce it later on! They could already picture themselves swaggering in the village, fully dressed! How marvelous!

"So, how are we proceeding exactly?" CPR dude asked with everyone's blessing.

"First, we need to draw our enemy away from its treasure. Then one of us will slip in, steal the loot and hurry back out while we buy time. This operation will be extremely harsh and will need perfect teamwork to succeed." Jack explained.

His colleagues' faces hardened. They remembered clearly how nonchalant Jack had been when faced with the Chicken Apocalypse or even hunting foxes. This time was different! This unexpected challenge made them feel alive.

Jack was already assigning duties:

"Bubblegum, are you ready to make use of your speed? You'll be in charge of heading inside. At the end of the tunnel, you'll find iron pebbles the size of a fist. Grab those. As for the various plants, ignore them. It'll take too long to collect."

"Perfect! You can count on me!" She replied with determination.

Jack then turned to the others: "The rest will work together to draw the boss's attention. This challenge can be resumed to one mantra. Repeat after me: we ain't fighting!"

"We ain't fighting?!" They replied, puzzled. How would they keep the aggro then?

"Remember these two key points:

1. Never attack the Wolf Cub! This could doom our entire party by making the boss angry beyond belief.

2. Don't even bother attacking the boss. Your attacks likely won't even get through its tough fur!

At our level, we really shouldn't be here at all! This is all so we can cheese some loot out! Do you guys understand?"

The players heavily nodded.

"Alright, I'll grab the cub, and then we'll do this. Are you all ready?" Jack inquired.

"Yes, Boss!" (X20)

"Always, Teacher!"

So what if they were only stealing?! They would still be able to brag to their friends! At this stage of the game, such an achievement would be incredibly worthy! They ardently watched Jack make his way toward the wolf cub.

It began growling in a high-pitched voice as it saw the human, trying to imitate a deadly hunter. But then it suddenly stopped, observing the man with curiosity. It even began to circle him in confusion.

This was the first time it saw such a weird creature! Why was it walking on two legs?! Where was its fur or feathers?! Was this animal sick? Not only didn't it attack, but it drew closer and poked Jack with its tiny pink tongue.

That's when Jack gently approached his hand, petted the creature a few times and….BAM! He started to beat the shit out of it! The wolf cub would soon be nothing but bloody pulp!

They could only watch in shock as they saw him execute combo after combo. What the fuck was happening?! He had literally just told them never to attack it! Had the whole thing been a joke?!

A player spoke what they were all thinking: "WTF?!"

That's when Bubblegum remarked wisely: "Watch more carefully. It's the same technique he used on Igor. I think that he's not actually damaging it."

"Wait, you mean that he's just knocking it out? He's not hurting it?!"

"Holy crap. How is he even able to do this?! I need to learn this too!"

They watched in awe, trying to fathom his thoughts. With a final punch, the wolf loudly whimpered as it fell unconscious. Without waiting, Jack grabbed the creature in his arm and sprinted away.

Wait, was he kidnapping the wolf?! This was possible?! He ran next to them all as fast as he possibly could. "Hurry up, guys! It's time to get the fuck out! Bubblegum, get ready to sneak in. Everyone else, follow me!"

That's when a fearsome and deep howl resounded:

— Howl! —

Whatever was in there sounded so dangerous! A few seconds later, their assumption was proven right. A big black wolf exited the cave in a hurry. This thing emanated so much power!

< Wolf Progenitor Level 10 ☠ >

This monster was level 10?! The players gulped as they observed it from the corner of their eyes. It had blood-red eyes filled with fury, large claws that could easily rip a human in half, and big fangs that it would try to sink in them! The creature was massive!

The wolf would have put a tiger to complete shame. Their chances to kill it were about as slim as an anorexic on a weight loss diet! They now understood why their leader had told them to run, and so they freaking did!

— Howl! —

The howl was enough to chill their hot blood. Then they heard it dash toward them as much as they felt it. This wolf was akin to a reaper, and it was coming for them! Its speed was way too fast!

They felt that this race was definitely unfair. How the hell were they supposed to compete in speed with this thing?! It was impossible! It took a total of 2 seconds for the creature to catch up to Jack. This was crazy!

Even he, who was experienced, barely managed to dodge the beast as it lunged at him. At the very last second, he had thrown himself on the side. But, it would be his end in a second, as only its straight charge could be dodged, not his regular movements.

However, Jack had known about this issue all along. That's when he decisively hollered at the nearby CPR dude. "Catch!"

The man was confused but instinctively made a catching motion toward whatever Jack had thrown. That's when he found himself holding a furball. He had thrown the wolf?! As he realized this, so did the wolf Boss.

"Oh crap! It's coming for me now!! Oh fuck!" CPR was in a predicament! Without waiting, he threw the wolf cub far away toward another player. "Catch!"

Thus the Mighty Wolves started playing with a wolf cub as if a game of hot potato. Except, this was worse! Instead of getting burnt, they risked getting devoured by a bloodthirsty beast!

The players could be heard as they chanted akin to a magical spell: "Please don't throw it my way. Please don't throw — Ah fuck!!" They would receive a pass at some point and would begin cursing as they ran for their lives.

In the beginning, everything worked well. They were throwing fast enough that the boss didn't know who to target. But, as things usually are, it quickly turned to shit. It finally realized that it could hunt the players first.

That's when it suddenly became a bloodbath. It would take about 2 seconds for the creature to kill a player. This meant that in about 40 seconds, their whole group would be wiped entirely. How were they supposed to cope with this?!

The players began screaming at the top of their lungs:

"AArgg!"

"We're all gonna die!"

"Yes, but I bet you'll die before me!"

"Brothers, avenge me once I'm gone!"

"Nope. The best I can do is take care of your widow!"

They joked around even as their bodies were getting mangled to pieces. Good thing that the pain was minimal in a game, or they would have needed professional mental counseling, and that shit was expensive!

"We can only hope for the best." Jack solemnly said with the few survivors nodding. That's when he threw the Wolf Cub farther near the boss.

It grabbed its progeniture, checked that it was perfectly fine, and made its way back to its lair after growling one last time at them.

"It's leaving?! Nice! Holy shit, I thought it was gonna bite us just for good measure." CPR dude cried out in relief.

"It would have if the cub had suffered damage," Jack explained.

Out of the 20 players, only three remained. Jack opened his friend list, quickly finding Bubblegum.

Jack'O: So, how did it go?

He stared at the message screen, anxiously awaiting her reply…

Creator's Thought

In the whole party, I was the only one who could even damage the boss. Then, none of us could outrun it­, not even Bubblegum with all her points in AGI. It would require a full raid to beat it, which wasn't something that was even remotely possible at this stage of the game.