MMORPG: Rise of the Peerless Pumpkinmancer

<Welcome to City Z's Wildlife park Q!>

"Thanks, sign, but I've never seen a citizen of city Z here in my life. They have a fancy ecomuseum and wouldn't come to this dump," Jack chuckled, breathing roughly in between.

At the park entrance, a lone security guard in a small metallic cabin was diligently watching porn. How long had this man been here? At least five years for sure. As soon as he noticed him, he smiled.

"Hey man, you're back! Look at how flexible this girl is! She can literally give you a titfuck in doggy style position!"

"You know I don't care, right?"

"Yeah, yeah. It's always Infinite this, Infinite that! You need to get laid, man. Ah, but first, you need some muscles. Just look at your skinny ass! Even if you got a girl, I'd be worried you'd die under her! Then again, there are worse deaths..."

"Thanks, but I don't plan on embracing Thanatos just yet."

"That sounds gay AF, man. Anyway, if you need some good stuff For Academic Purposes, you know who to ask. Not to brag, but that's how I saved a guy's life last week! He wanted to kill himself, then I shared my collection with him, and he went home urgently with tears of gratitude!"

The guard seemed so proud...with reason. "You're heading to the Suicide Trail, right? Don't jump, or I'll have to file an incident report!" Then he waved him goodbye and went back to his hectic viewing schedule.

This was the worth of human life: an incident report. But Jack was used to it. He used to be a regular here. How many times had he gazed at the abyss, wondering if he should end it all? It was a rhetorical question, and he had lost count.

This place was a mountain with plenty of hiking trails and filled with tons of carnivorous predators. Even then, it was pretty safe as an automated defense system protected the routes with plasma canons. The animals knew better than to come anywhere near.

Overall, it felt like an excellent low-budget safari:

- Lots of wildlife

- No barrier blocking one's vision

- A minimalist feel with all safety measures hidden

Then, why was there a trail called suicide trail? Since times immemorial, despairing people would throw themselves off mountains. This trail had a vantage point to observe the landscape and creatures eager to clean the remains!

Any suicide that happened here was a messy suicide avoided! A man throwing himself in front of a subway was sad, but the cost of the disruption was the true tragedy! Such was the current state of the world.

Jack slowly ascended the mountain, laboriously breathing akin to an extremely old pilgrim. It was autumn, and leaves were colorful as they fell off the trees, looking vibrant and smelling of death. It matched his mood perfectly.

The chilly wind tickled his neck during the whole ascension. He finally reached the top where he would definitely take a break, for he was tired as hell!

Surprisingly, there was someone there already. Jack found it weird: the guard would have usually told him about it. It was a young man sitting on the rocky ledge, his legs swinging over the abyss. The youngster was loudly mumbling to himself:

"I really should jump. What's the point of living anymore?" Jack could only sigh, so much for the serene calm that he had been hoping for.

The man looked like any other youngster: short brown hair, brown eyes filled with tears, and tanned, healthy brown skin. As he saw Jack appear, he unconsciously became wary. He frowned, wrinkled his nose, and showed a facade of a being resolute.

His body language said: "I don't know who you are, but you won't change my mind!" But, he was bound to be surprised as Jack went to sit away from him.

"Sure, go ahead." Jack nonchalantly said. This shocked the youngster to the core.

"Y-you, what did you just say?!" He uttered, his mouth gaping.

"If you really have nothing to live for, jump. But, I really doubt that's the case." Jack shrugged as he gazed at the night sky, slowly becoming one with nature.

"My girlfriend dumped me, and my mom just died! Now I'm stuck with my step-father that hates me to the bone. Can you even picture the anguish that I'm going through right now?" The kid whined.

Jack slowly uttered in response:

"I'm broke, my body is broken, I don't have a single relative or close friend left, I possibly just missed my best chance at ever achieving greatness in Infinite, and my name has been dragged through the mud. So, no. I have no clue about the anguish you're feeling."

That sarcastic reply made the youngster freeze. It wasn't what had been said, but all the unsaid that astonished him. He could instinctively feel how honest Jack had been, and yet he was not showing a single ounce of despair?!

The youngster's life was nowhere bleak in comparison! He was akin to a guy with a paper cut visiting a terminally ill patient ward to complain about pain. He stared for a few seconds before finally uttering.

"H-how?! How are you coping with all that?!"

"It's easy. Instead of focusing on all that goes wrong in your life, pay attention to that one thing that goes right. Humans can be surprisingly resilient, you know. " Jack slowly said, the soft glow of moonlight giving him an unfathomable aura.

"It's about that single thing that is right…." The youngster softly mumbled over and over. After a few minutes of doing so, he finally raised his head once more, a huge smile on his face.

"You said that you play Infinite, right?! I play it too!" He excitedly shared.

"-_- Who doesn't play Infinite nowadays?" Jack sneered.

"Hehe, that's true. How long have you been playing? What Class and Race are you playing? Who's your favorite Ranker?!" He shot questions with the speed of a virgin embracing a woman for the first time.

"I don't especially have a favorite Ranker. But I loathe humans, especially the ones that are self-righteous and stuck up like the Church of the Holy Light." Jack complained from the bottom of his heart.

"In general, I 100% agree! But have you heard about the Herald of Light? This guy is a goddamn Legend! People say he stole his Class change item from other rankers and that he's worthless, but that's horse shit!" He shouted with enthusiasm.

"You seem to know a lot about him," Jack commented, scratching his head. What were the chances for him to randomly stumble upon one of his fans?

"I've heard rumors that the Herald of Light has tons of shady friends, one crazier than the others. He's also the one that has ruined the most factions single-handedly. How did he even do it while upholding the Church's beliefs?!"

"Who knows…"

"I heard that even IRL he's a freaking badass. Each of his appearances in a commercial is worth millions of credits! Even then, he only endorses products that he truly agrees with, no exception no matter how much is offered!"

"Is that so…"

"Do you know how he deals with gold diggers or fame sluts? He quizzes them about the world of Infinite, saying the least they can do is learn about their target's job! Apparently, he once said: "Breasts are temporary, but Infinite is eternal!" This is a next-level 'begone thot' move!"

"There are many Rankers with way more interesting scandals…." Jack remarked.

The youngster calmed down as he turned serious.

"Yes, you're right. But you know, all the other top Rankers are skies beyond skies. They have superhuman reaction speed and mechanical skills. They're just built different, and that's why they reign supreme."

He then gave a meaningful smile.

"Not him! His mechanical skills are comparatively trash. He's not some lucky god chosen born with better genes. He's worked for it. Well, in-game he's totally a Goddess's chosen, but you know what I mean."

"I see..."

"You know…This is going to sound weird, but you kinda remind me of him. Well, he's still a top Ranker, so I'm sure he lives in a giant mansion somewhere fancy. Ah, I've been rambling, haven't I? Sorry…."

A huge mansion, was it? At some point, Jack had lived in one. He had beautiful maids, the fanciest decoration, the most incredible flying wave pool of all time, and tons of other useless shit.

He had given it all up without hesitation for a single chance at joining the Pantheon. He had plenty of regrets, but his only recent one was that one raid failure. He didn't care about any of the rest.

DING-DING! The loud sound of mobile notifications shattered the silence.

The youngster received some message that made his face transform as he began beaming in happiness. He then started running down the mountain, shouting a simple "Sorry, gotta go! Thanks for everything!"

Jack could only sigh. The quality of his fanbase sure had fallen!

For a few seconds, there was silence, but then it was disrupted by tons of reproachful quacking sounds. A flock of duck rose from the forest below, coming to hover in front of him, just far enough not to be shot down by the turrets.

QUACK!

QUACK!

QUACK!

QUACK!

The ducks were quite ugly. They were brown, showed malformations akin to eldritch monsters, and had beaks full of sharp piranha-like teeth but bigger. They were angry at losing their lunch, and they knew Jack would never jump.

These creatures were as intelligent as ugly. A few seconds later, they jerked in shock before diving back downward, hiding hurriedly with the world returning to stillness.

A few minutes later, Jack heard footsteps. Was the youngster coming back? Usually, he could spend hours here without a single disturbance. Today really wasn't his day.

This time it was a young woman, but there was something wrong with her. So goddamn wrong! Jack instantly realized that she would be a massive headache.

Who came to a mountain in high heels and wearing such revealing clothes?! Her red dress was short enough to be mistaken for a shirt and hugged her body so tightly that it could have burst at any moment.

But that wasn't all. She also had white hair and shiny glowing white eyes: she was a modder! These people who modified their bodies tended to be either very fucking awesome or very fucking crazy. Somehow, Jack had an awful feeling about this one...

Creator's Thought

This is why we can't have nice things! A nice mountain trail with a cool vantage point turned into a glorified suicide cabin! Shame, such a shame! Also, I always stayed away from modding. It was fine in single-player games but I have my reservations about it IRL!