Martial King's Retired Life

“Keep sending them gifts. If I’m going to be sending gifts, I won’t stop after just a few days. You can decide what to send. Just make sure to be generous and sensible.”

Administrator bowed whilst pointing to the two chests beside him. “Understood. This time we are sending bloody swallows from Mount Tian and ginseng from Mount Bai. We deliver to their building as you instructed and with the budget you provide.”

“Good choice. Choose another secret agent from the six ministries to deliver the presents again. Remind the secretaries to protect the secret.”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

Studying where Ming Suwen liked to go and what she liked had been added to Red Prince’s daily to-do list so that he could send her gifts. For instance, he sent supplements subsequent to learning she trained martial arts and jewellery since she, like all other women in his eyes, liked them.

“By the way, the batch of copper silvers manufactured according to her birthday, did she love them?”

If you can court a girl with your tactics, I’ll castrate myself.

“Well, umm…”

“You just can’t be honest, can you? You’re usually full of tricks, so why are you stuttering now? If you don’t tell me, I’ll cane you…”

Interrupting them, a man sprinted toward their room and slid in on his knees. “Your Highness, I have an urgent report!”

“Speak.”

The spy Red Prince personally sent to keep tabs on Liu Shan Men reported, “I do not what crazy has possessed the woman at Lui Shan Men today, but she raided the ministry of personnel, claiming there is a criminal there and demanded the secretary hand over the criminal.”

“They haven’t even been investigating any cases for days. What crimin-…” Red Prince slammed the table. “She’s taking the firewood from the cauldron. What a woman.”

“You understand what she is doing, Your Highness?”

“Who wouldn’t? She’s forcing him to divulge my identity. Smart but too brash, unfortunately. Relax. Since I’ve given him an oral decree, he won’t ever testify against me. Besides, she’s a mere constable. What can she do against the secretary of the ministry of personnel? If she doesn’t want to be apprehended, she’ll walk away in shame.”

“Your Highness, they have raided the ministry of defence, claiming there is a criminal there and demanded Secretary Lie hand them in.”

“What? I was just told she went to the ministry of person-?”

“Your Highness!” In came another a third agent. “Ming Suwen has stormed the ministry of justice, claiming there is a crimin-”

“… claiming there is a criminal there and demanded Secretary Leng hand over the criminal, correct?” Red Prince cut in.

“Oh, so it was your plan, Your Highness. You are my idol, Your Wise Highness.”

Red Prince was going to go off at his subordinate when something more pressing stuck out to him. “The ministry of defence? Secretary Leng would let her off after she broke the law? Wait, wait… You’ve been fooled! Hurry and shut our doors! Turn away everyone who requests an audience tod-”

“Your Highness, Liu Shan Men requests an audience.”

“Tell them I’m not well. Go!”

“She’s a smart woman.” Red Prince exhaled relief. “She knows I can’t have sent only scouts from the six ministries, but it’s difficult to tell who my direct subordinates are – as well as who belongs to who. She ignited these flames so that my subordinates would rush back to me. From there, she just needed to observe the agents movements. If once wasn’t enough to confirm her suspicions, she just needed to repeat. Luckily, I responded fast enough to stop her.”

Administrator: “Your Highness, do not fall for her tricks.”

“If I deny her an audience, what can hee do? Hmm? Why do I smell smoke?”

Upon peering outside, Red Prince heard people at his place crying, “Put the fire out!” prompting him to cry, “What is going on?!”

“I was told you are not feeling well, but your voice is loud and clear.”

Espying the festive curve at Ming Suwen’s lips as she approached with her colleagues, Red Prince stuttered, “H-how, y-you, wh-what, wh-who let you in?!”

“A criminal I was after sneaked into your estate, so I planned to search your estate. However, I changed my plans to help you put out the fire vandalising your manor.”

Red Prince’s estate had never caught fire since it was constructed. Ming Suwen happened to coincidentally be paying a visit, coincidentally be denied an audience and coincidentally came when his estate was coincidentally on fire.

“I did not believe you were sick, but I do now judging from how pale you look.” Ming Suwen replaced her salute with a head bob. “Greetings, Your Highness.” Upon sending her gaze to the two timber chests on the ground, she dimpled. “Our target has gotten away. Let us not disturb His Highness any further.”

“Stop right there!” Red Prince couldn’t believe Ming Suwen feigned deaf and kept walking. “Woman, how dare you make a fool of me?”

Ming Suwen halted, then looked over her shoulder with the corners of her lips slightly pulled up. “First, I thought. Then, I acted. What about it?”

Many years later, Red Prince would still shiver when he remembered her smile.

“Didn’t I tell you to bring it on, Ls King?”

Glossary

Taking the firewood from the cauldron – I used a literal translation so that it justifies the agent not understanding what Red Prince said. In this context, it’s supposed to mean to get to the root of a problem to get rid of the problem.

Sword King and Ls King – I regret that there’s no way to translate this and keep the comedy. The two titles share the same pronunciation. For the record, the “Ls” part could be translated into a plethora of other words, such as the b-word, and the original character for it really is that rude when used as an insult. In essence, it’s comparable to someone saying, “I am the King of DOA”, and someone else replies, “Yeah, the King of Taking Ls in DOA”.