Martial King's Retired Life

Tianhu covered everything below his eyes behind his white fan. “Ming Feizhen, learn to toe the line. Stop once you’ve had your inch.”

“But my shifu taught me to go all the way once you get an inch.”

“You won’t always be so lucky. You ever heard the saying, ‘Don’t burn bridges in the pugilistic world’?”

“The only saying I’ve heard is, “Wasting dung is not a gentleman’s way.’”

“All right, fine.” Tianhu turned back to His Majesty and, in a blaring voice, exclaimed, “Your Majesty, Earl Ming has recovered. Your subject has remembered something important. Heavenly Swordsman and Martial Paragon are still unconscious. It is said that Earl Ming is an adept doctor who saved several people on the way to Nanjiang. How about we have him go check on them? We cannot ignore their plight.”

You son of…

“Wh-what are you trying to pull?”

Tianhu looked to me out of his peripherals. “How can you be so erudite in the medical field art your young age? It’s obvious you’re deceiving people with your advanced martial arts skills. Let’s see how you can do the impossible without your internal energy and true qi.”

You… You… Go dip your head in a field of poo!

“Earl Ming, I mean not to badger you, but Patriarch Luo and my brother have been unconscious for more than a month. They may lose their only chance to return if we leave them. Did you not promise to check on them the day you woke up? How are they?”

“Uh, umm, well, about that…”

God damn it, Tianhu!

Tianhu may not have known about me losing all my abilities, but his conjecture wasn’t completely off the mark. My medical skills did heavily rely on my internal strength, especially when it came to nursing internal injuries like Luo Ming and Uncle Feng Xue’s. I was hoping I’d regain enough internal energy to diagnosis their conditions in around two days’ time. Sadly, that wasn’t happening in my current state.

Cognisant of the fact that I might make things worse for her teacher if I attempted something beyond me, Boss Shen intervened. “Uncle, Feizhen has only just recovered from his grievous injuries. We are demanding too much of him. Please allow him another two days of rest before asking again.”

“What do you mean? Earl Ming is practicing medicine not divine skills. Diagnosing a patient can’t be that taxing. Didn’t he treat you just recently and even found out you have, hohoho.”

“Uncle! What are you going on about?!”

Emperor Yuansheng deployed a tactical cough. “I was just joking.”

His Majesty most likely teased Boss Shen without much thought; however, people listening in would mistake it for him having a slip of the tongue and revealing the truth.

Tie Hanyi’s eyes: See that?

Dugu’s eyes: Yeah.

Tie Hanyi’s eyes: What do you think?

Dugu’s eyes: Most likely let the truth slip.

Tie Hanyi’s eyes: It’s Brother Ming’s.

Dugu’s eyes: Man is about to become fuma.

Tie Hanyi’s eyes: Shall we fraternise with him?

Dugu’s eyes: Wise thinking.

Tie Hanyi and Dugu: “Hehe, Brother Ming, want to grab some tea when you have some spare time.”

Is this the perception of secret agents?! Tie Hanyi, since when did you learn this sort of stuff?!

Hong Jiu flicked up a thumb.

A Qilin Guard saw Long Zaitian squat down and sweep the floor with his hands, prompting him to ask, “Vice-Captain, what are you looking for?”

Long Zaitian: “The meaning of life.”

Although you have zero chances of winning Boss’ heart, don’t give up because of me! I’m innocent! … She’s also innocent!

I was going to teach the troublemakers to wise up when I felt a smooth, soft hand slide down my back and stop where my heart was. Young Shiyi leaned right into my ear. “Hehe, so, Feizhen, what’s this about? Why did I never hear anything about this?”

“Young Shiyi, I can explain.”

“Oh, you want to explain? I see you’re always improving. Now you can even cheat in my presence.”

“You flatter me.”

“I’ll flatten you!” Young Shiyi yanked my ear with her left hand.

“This is all a misunderstanding! You can ask Sixth and the others. They all know! Sixth, remind Young Shiyi what sort of man I am.”

Lian Zhuiyue spat at my feet. Both he and Young Shiyi had nothing but disdain for me worn as coats.

Sixth, why are you misunderstanding me again?! I thought we clarified this!

Hong Jiu gave me a big smile whilst drawing a hemisphere over his belly with his hands, then flicked me a thumbs up.

“Young Shiyi, it’s better if you just let me explain.”

“Sure thing. Having said that, I’ve had a problem I’d like you to solve for me.”

“Huh? Wh-what would that be?”

Young Shiyi mouthed, “My sword is blunt.”

As soon as I saw Overarching Heaven creep out of its sheath, I yelled, “Your Majesty, your subject is fit to check on them!”

“Really?!”

Advance or retreat, the outcome was death. If you ask me, the country was more willing to reason with me than a woman!

His Majesty zealously grabbed my hands. “You can treat them now?”

“Uh, no, it is too early to say. Before your subject diagnosis them, it is impossible to give you a concrete answer. That said, your subject will do his worst.”

“In that case, I’ll call for more trustworthy doctors to join you in a day or two from now; that’ll increase your chances.”

“In a day or two?”

Young Shiyi whispered, “You can’t run forever…”

“Your subject can treat them! Absolutely! Your subject will see himself to prison if he cannot treat them!” I dragged His Majesty off with me as fast as we could go.

The only place more heavily guarded than the place Uncle Feng Xue and Luo Ming rested would be His Majesty’s place.

Worst came to worst and I couldn’t wake them, His Majesty’s impression of me would take a minor hit. Besides, failing to heal them could keep me safe… for longer.

“Before your subject proceeds, may he ask if anyone else has examined them? If there has been, what was their opinion?”

“I have had many reputable doctors, including State Preceptor Lai, examine them. State Preceptor Lai managed to treat their external wounds, but he couldn’t wake them. According to Shaman Faith’s physician, they spent all their heart energy and, therefore, lacked the motivation to wake up again. They had their revenge and only survived by a hair’s breadth in battle; their motivation is in a slumber.”

“Their motivation is slumbering…?”

Tianhu taunted, “I’ve always been eager to see how Earl Ming creates miracles. Don’t talk the talk but not walk the walk now.”

“I dare not say I can create miracles. I do know how to pour manure on heads, though. If you want to witness that, I can add another show for you. I bet Nanjiang’s populace is down to watch. Want to try?”

Though Tianhu was ticked off, he didn’t lose anything if he just sat back to watch me fail.

Like Tianhu, His Majesty could see I was at my wits end. “Can you do anything, Earl Ming?”

“Mm… Please wait here for me. I shall go in to see them.”

At a glance, neither of the two bed-ridden gentlemen looked abnormal. They were no longer had bloodstains or pale appearances associated with internal injuries. The long intervals between inhaling and exhaling faces proved their internal energy was still in tip-top form. At their levels, as long as their vitality was flowing properly, they would still be alive and kicking even if they were winded. If their minds were set on sleeping, then it wasn’t a physical problem but a mental problem. If they were injured, I couldn’t do anything for them in my current state. A mental problem, however…

Following a think, I whispered in their ears, then stepped away and covered my ears.

One, two, three.

“Get back here, Ming Huayu! Thirteen orphans (thirteen terminal tiles), my foot! You cheated again!”

“It’s a sword!”

I opened the door to announce, “Done.”

Tianhu: “What are you? A doctor from heaven?!”

I gave Tianhu a wink.

Young Shiyi: “Ho, in that case, I have something to say to you.”

Why did I have to treat them?!

Glossary

Don’t burn bridges in the pugilistic world – While “don’t burn bridges” doesn’t seem to be an uncommon phrase in English, this is a specific version for referencing the pugilistic world. You wouldn’t really use this phrase in real life unless you were part of the mafia (because pugilistic world is defined as the “underworld” in today’s world) or were playing around. It’s a common saying in wuxia stories that adopt the pugilistic world (for those who don’t know, the concept didn’t exist until the Ming dynasty when wuxia, technically old-school wuxia, already existed long before it).

One of the common codes of the pugilistic world is, today’s friend may be tomorrow’s enemy and vice versa. The concept doesn’t operate on the same principle as the world in new-school xianxia and xuanhuan stories currently translated en masse, where you can wipe out clans and problem solved. In the pugilistic world of these wuxia stories, people who are spared will likely return the favour another day; there’s a sense of honour that needs to be upheld if you want to make it/survive. Wiping out an enemy completely is difficult as most clans are connected to other clans, government figures, bandits and so forth, and you can’t just wipe them out with brute strength. It’s pretty much guaranteed somebody will come for you in retaliation. Consequently, learning where to toe the line is something characters have to learn in order to survive. More often than not in these stories, you don’t get away with not observing the unwritten rule.

Thirteen orphans/thirteen terminal tiles – Mahjong terminology.