Martial King's Retired Life

Two days after the spectacle of Shaman Monarch Palace’s purge, Mount Wanyu held another historical event. Moyan Clan’s disciples replaced all of the previous Shaman Monarch Palace members who served no purpose other than decoration as guards along the mountain path. Only gluttons for punishment would dare to try anything funny on the mountain.

At the foot of the mountain, the silhouettes of Baimu and Wanyu’s cavalries were spread all around. High-ranking vassals of six states, elders of Shaman Monarch Palace who couldn’t show up before due to Gewu’s interventions and elders of various tribes were in the conference hall.

Wanyu’s King could tell the gentleman who politely bobbed his head at him and Baimu’s Queen referred to as “Mister” was no simple man, although he didn’t have enough information beyond that to identify him. As for the gentleman who gave off the vibe that he was the one presiding over the hall, there was no need to question he was important when Heavenly Swordsman, a man who could drive off a gigantic python, an always-sleeping tall man and the “Shaman Monarch” who annihilated the bandits of Nanjiang reported to him. Accordingly, Wanyu’s King could only wait for someone to step up as the host.

To be fair, everyone was thinking, this is one hell of a forum. Not a single individual present wasn’t a specialist of a field and deserving of respect – and they all had equally strong maidens worthy of respect accompanying them. Nanjiang’s groups felt inferior just being in their presences.

Long Zaitian’s eyes were running a marathon the entire time, searching for today’s host. Not even the great dragon believed himself to be worthy of speaking in the presence of several monarchs and Divine Realm adepts.

Emperor Yuansheng stroked his beard in big motions, seemingly trying to hide a grin behind his hand: He was the one who wanted to host this council. I know he has knowledge, but let’s see how he establishes authority in our presence. This is going to be fun.

Sharing a table with each other, Shen Yiren and Ming Suwen fixated their eyes on the shut main door ever since they were seated.

“Attention, ladies and gentleman.” Hong Jiu traded out his usual getup for a white hat and blue waistcoat with pink collars. “Please welcome today’s host, my big bro – Ming Feizhen!”

Once the guards opened the main doors, I strutted in with my chest high, in my slicked-back hairdo, sunglasses, brown overcoat and white tiger fur draped over my shoulders, robe with glimmering golden seams, sharkskin boots and big mouth cannon in my hand. Everyone in the room admired me.

Ah Neath and Wanyu’s King dropped their jaws. Shen Yiren and Young Shiyi covered their faces as they fought off their seizures. Brother Bodhi blasted wine from his mouth. Luo Ming closed his eyes before he went blind. Lai Jingzhen frowned in his sleep as though he had a nightmare. Emperor Yuansheng’s mouth disconnected from his brain.

Uncle Feng Xue nodded profusely: “Dope. Dope.”

So what if you’re strong? So what if you hold high rank? Can you beat my swag?

With my chin tucked, I stole a gander of Emperor Yuansheng, who was to my left. With two egg-sized walnuts in hand, I rubbed together the eleven shiny rings on my fingers and puffed a breath of smoke. In the deepest voice I could muster, I conveyed, “Apologies for holding you up, Bosses.”

Emperor Yuansheng held his two hands out in front as though he was signalling for me to back off. “N-no, you seem more like the boss here.”

I puffed another breath of smoke, expending the last bit of patience Mountain Monster had. She smashed her table and blasted, “You sick in the head?! You scared the hell out of me, you turd!” She actually did look startled.

I removed my sunnies and looked askance at Mountain Monster. “Women should stay out of men’s conversations.”

Mountain Monster started hurling all the fruit on her table at me, but I caught them all. Once I caught the last peach, I set down my mouth cannon and took a bite of the peach. “Sorry, ladies and gentlemen. I am feeling nervous because this is my first time speaking to so many prominent people; it feels akin to Jiang Ziya meeting King Wen of Zhou, akin to Zhuge Liang meeting Liu Bei, akin to The Great Sage, Heaven’s Equal, meeting Tathāgata…”

Nobody, except Long Zaitian, could follow. “Wrong. They are great men meeting great men. You’re a side character who isn’t qualified to speak to great men, fodder that ran into the main protagonists.”

“In summary, I have to put some effort into my appearance to ease my nerves. I am glad to see my labour acknowledged.”

They were all so shocked that they still couldn’t comment.

“Remember to put that gold ring down in your business expenses,” Boss reminded.

Please don’t! I was hoping to embezzle these!

“If there was no pertinent business to discuss, I would not have called everyone here. I take it everyone realises the gravity of the danger looming over Xiacang Anxi after yesterday’s encounter?”

Wanyu’s King expressed, “Baimu’s Queen and I saw it clearly. I did not know what Great Spirit Shaman colluded with, but I can see that the giant python that could easily devour tigers would bring calamity if it were to enter civilised zones.”

Ah Neath conveyed, “Agreed. We are here today to discuss a strategy.”

“There is no longer any doubt that a calamitous beast dwells within Nieyao.” I had a smoke, then tugged up the corners of my lips. “They are today’s main subject. Let me introduce you: the gentleman to my left is the ruler of the Central Plain.”

Patience was discarded as fast as a hot potato. Nanjiang’s guests may have been influential in their states, but being graced with the presence of the Central Plain’s monarch was a totally different game. Their experience in the political arena instantly manifested as friendly conversations, ganders, whispers and draped arms over shoulders.

Wanyu’s King blessed my eyes with an amazing facial expression show. In two blinks, he went from stunned, to spacing out, to grumpy, to envy, to jealousy… He not only was first to believe Emperor Yuansheng was the Central Plain’s ruler, but he also figured Emperor Yuansheng already ratified some deal with Ah Neath, thus getting ahead of him.

Nonetheless, nobody could compete with Emperor Yuansheng’s reaction. When I divulged his identity, he reacted as if he was struck by lightning and then forced an awkward but refined smile and waved. “Hello, hello.”

A tribe elder, in fob Mandarin, fervently asked, “How do you do? How do you do?”

“Uh, I’m fine. I’m fine, thanks.”

“I am not done.” I continued, “Over here, we have Heavenly Swordsman – Luo Ming. This is one of Beijiang’s two heroes – Evil Spirit’s Abels. Next to him is A-Lan, the only daughter of Morcher’s late King.”

Introducing A-Lan subsequent to introducing Emperor Yuansheng was tantamount to giving them a shiny present box that they opened to find empty.

While Emperor Yuansheng put pressure on them, he was far away. On the other hand, Morcher was within their territory. Surely Morcher’s hope for resurrection didn’t come back with Emperor Yuansheng for a stargazing tour. Therefore, they were confident that today’s dialogues could potentially change Nanjiang henceforward.

With walnuts in my hands, I pointed to Beussent. “This is Heisina Clan’s leader – Heisina Beussent.”

Focused on eating his banana, Beussent casually waved: “Hello.”

Needless to say, they all looked as though they were grimacing.

“I suppose it has dawned on you that His Majesty did not come here for a vacation but to tackle some real problems. Though the monster in Nieyao and Morcher are both on the agenda, establishing a friendly network with Xiacang Anxi takes priority. We will iron out the details at the table one month from now.” I had to add that in there to put them at ease. Else, they wouldn’t focus on what I wanted to say. Following my break down on how dangerous Great Spirit Shaman as well as the beast in Nieyao were, I stated, “As such, I would like to ask the two of you to guard the entrances to Nieyao. I do not want anything or anyone escaping the city or coming in while we are slaying the beast. “

Wanyu’s King glanced over to Emperor Yuansheng. “How many men do you need?”

“Three thousand equipped soldiers from each of you.”

Wanyu’s King thought it over prior to answering, “I shall deploy three thousand equipped soldiers and two thousand elite cavalry.” His intent to get on our good side was borne naked.

Ah Neath responded, “I can afford three thousand soldiers.”

“With your support, we will have a markedly greater chance of success. May I ask if you could provide me with a letter? I would like to request the aid of certain individuals.”

Thankfully, the two of them obliged. I couldn’t tell them too much, whether it be in regards to dragons, who was trying to tame Six Evils and what the consequences would be, and I couldn’t involve them too much.

At the end of the day, every royal family had their own agenda for their state, people and themselves. The majority of the imbeciles who tried to employ the power of Six Evils were from royal families.

I couldn’t imagine them impeding us if they just lined up their soldiers at the entrances for intimidation purposes. If I asked them to fight, though, they’d be in frenzy with just days to go. As a matter of fact, they might get in the way. If they did contribute, they’d ask for outrageous demands in return.

When we moved on to talking about the future of Shaman Faith, Iron Guardian enthusiastically spoke out. In the end, he and the elders took the topic off track.

I passed the reins over to Emperor Yuansheng once we shifted to trade talks. Whenever he heard something he understood, he’d joyously respond.

At noon, whilst playing with the golden chain around my neck, I voiced, “We shall end this subject here for now. Those involved in the hunt, please say. Guests, please return home for now. We will now commence finalisation of the battle’s details.”

Hong Jiu and my siblings saw our guests to the foot of the mountain, leaving only combatants – save for Emperor Yuansheng.

I had only taken my first breath of relief when Emperor Yuansheng griped, “Ming Feizhen, why did you suddenly reveal my identity? I demand an explanation.”

“Your Majesty, without someone of your standing’s backing, I could not have asked them to mobilise five thousand troops for us.” Combining apologies and flattery, I managed to inflate Emperor Yuansheng’s ego.

“Tell us what you wanted us to stay here for,” Luo Ming demanded all of a sudden.

“It is easy to talk to you, Patriarch Luo.” I smiled. “I want to make it clear to everyone joining the fight in Nieyao that it will be a bloody scuffle, so I need you all to listen carefully to everything I am about to say. First, we only have a 50% chance of succeeding.”

Long Zaitian: “If we include Patriarch Moyan, we have five Divine Realm adepts. Besides them, we have elites and your siblings. We have enough firepower to annihilate a demon’s den. There’s a possibility of failure, you say?”

“Of course.” I had another smoke and bite of the peach. “Divine Realm martial artists are no match for evil beasts, period.”

Glossary

Boss – When Ming Feizhen refers to the attendees as “bosses”, he uses a term reserved for gangsters, which is why Emperor Yuansheng says Ming Feizhen is more like the boss.

How do you do? – This joke is completely killed. The joke works the same way as “Wan Tushui” and “Sui Tuwan”. The elder asks, literally, “Hao do you du?” Because of his incorrect use of tones, it comes out as, “This is a great poison tripe.” Secondly, because of the tone he asks the question in, it comes off as, “Would you like to try this fabulous poisonous tripe?” to which Emperor Yuansheng responds, “No, I’m good. Thank you, but I will kindly pass.” For the sake of flow, I modified Emperor Yuansheng’s response.