Martial King's Retired Life

Liu Shan Men and the Three Departments - Affection and Cutest Queen

General Manager Bai stood up silently before I could recompose myself after being slapped. Despite wearing an aloof expression, I was more enamoured with her entrancing beauty than focused on her expression. She extended her slender arm. I could see her supple and white fingers. She calmly said, "Handkerchief."

A maid immediately approached General Manager Bai as though she was stabbed in the butt. She shakily passed over a handkerchief. General Manager Bai was definitely imposing. She only said one word, yet nobody dared to fool with her. She wiped her face whilst maintaining her aloof look: "Clean."

Two maids immediately brought General Manager Bai several handkerchiefs and a basin of water. One of them helped her wipe her clothing. The other helped wipe down the Lord Zi boy. General Manager Bai didn't need to say much; the maids knew what they needed to do. I suppose General Manager Bai trained them well. It was apparent they feared General Manager Bai more than second generation rich kid Lord Zi…

Once General Manager Bai was clean, she held her arms out parallel to the ground and calmly ordered, "Fix."

Two maids immediately adjusted the messy parts of General Manager Bai's clothing to perfection. Judging from their reactions, she appeared to have developed good chemistry with the maids. After they were done fixing General Manager Bai's clothes, General Manager Bai lowered just one hand and calmly said: "Broadsword."

A maid immediately passed General Manager Bai an executioner broadsword. The maids were considerate and in tune with General Manager Bai. Their teamwork was perfect that even a br-.

"Wait, wait, wait, your chemistry is too perfect!"

'And why the hell are there so many blades here?! Why did the maid pick the executioner broadsword of all things?! That thing could slice a sword in two, you know?! How desperate are you see to diced Ming Feizhen?!'

Bai Lian took the broadsword. Twirling the eight to ten kilogram broadsword with her wrist took no effort, demonstrating commendable wrist mobility and strength. She frigidly said, "How many times have I warned you? I hate nothing more than people teasing me as if I'm a woman. Since you don't have a memory, your head is useless, isn't it?"

"Exactly! Exactly!" exclaimed the maids behind General Manager Bai.

There was no denying Bai Lian taught the maids to obey her orders to the "T"!

I pleaded ignorance: "General Manager Bai, this is wrong. We're friends! We're bosom buddies! Why would you fuss over this?"

Bai Lian furiously aimed her blade tip at me: "Screw you! Who's you bosom buddy?!"

I touched my nose with a smile: "Well, remember that day at Small South Gate?"

General Manager Bai's cheeks turned red when she recalled the kiss I forced on her, leading to her hand holding her blade shaking: "Y-You! You said we were never going to mention that again! Why are you bringing it up again?!"

General Manager Bai bit down on her lip as I did. I felt a hot sensation when I recalled the kiss. That being said, I think I crossed the line using a kiss to threaten a eunuch…

The maids behind General Manager Bai covered their faces. They couldn't believe their usually composed and stern General Manager's reaction. Like a girl, General Manager Bai stamped her feet: "Shut up! Say one more word, and I'll hack yoouu!!"

Good heavens that last "yoouu" was fatally cute!

General Manager Bai had a bad habit of raising her pitch whenever she panicked. It was completely different to her usual stern voice. Her normal voice was gentler than girls in their teens. She immediately regretted it when she spoke in a rush. Her face was as red as though she had several drinks.

The maids behind General Manager Bai… were stunned from cuteness overload! Two of them even gave me a thumbs up.

'Are you praising me for doing well?!'

As soon as General Manager Bai looked behind her, the maids acted as though nothing happened.

'Weren't you supposed to be afraid of her? So you all perceived General Manager Bai as a cutie for you to feast your eyes on, huh?! No wonder why you hate me! Do you think I bullied your cute General Manager?!'

General Manager Bai cleared her throat. She lowered her pitch, but she couldn't change the voice she was born with; it was still higher pitch than ordinary girls. She stammered: "I-If you keep talking, I'll hack you."

"So if I don't speak again, you won't hack me?"

"What sort of question is that? Of course I will!" brayed General Manager Bai, flashing five fingers.

Me: "You'll slash me five times?"

"I'll spare you five slashes, so there are only three hundred slashes left to go."

'Listen to yourself! You just made that bullshit up! If you're going to slash me three hundred times, why spare me the five?! By the way, how the heck did you decide to hack me three hundred and five times?!There are three hundred and sixty-five days in a year! Why are you getting rid of sixty?! One slash daily for ten months?! Why would you use the length of a woman's pregnancy to decide on the number of times to hack me?! How evil of a pregnant woman are you?! It's not good for the infant if you slash the woman once every day for her ten months of pregnancy. You want your son to be born a slasher?! Wait, you're a eunuch; you can't get pregnant!'

After changing into new clothes, the boy suddenly interjected: "Question! What happened that day?"

Bai Lian hastily responded, "L-Lord Zi, you should not listen to this boorish man's words. Do not listen to a word he says, or your ears will rot."

'That's it. How can you malign your bosom buddy that way, Lianie. I'm going to have to teach you a lesson.'

I folded my arms and gazed at the sky. Wearing the look of a man thinking diligently, I recounted, "I remember it was an afternoon with warm sunlight. I happened to pass by this place and was looking for a drink. Pretty Bai came out from Small South Gate. Pretty occupied my mind when I saw those gentle eyes, and then w-"

"And then you died!" raged General Manager Bai, swinging her blade full pelt at me!

'Hey! I was going to say '… and then we got acquainted'! What are you so mad about?! I only got to the part where we met!'

General Manager Bai swung hard at me again. The blade was right at my neck before I could even distinguish which style she was using. There were too many people to use martial arts, and General Manager Bai was skilled enough to be able to distinguish my techniques. I stepped out of the way only for her to continue pursing me with her blade.

"Oi! You being serious?!"

"I'm not playing!" raged Bai Lian. "How many times have I told you not to tease me as if I'm a woman?!"

I hastily evaded the slash that almost nipped my neck. Whilst staying busy, I said, "But teasing you as if you were a man would be quite the fetish, no?"

"You're asking for it again!" Bai Lian was even more livid: "I knew I shouldn't be so lenient on you. I'll kill yoouu! I'll kill yoouu!"

General Manager Bai didn't hit me, but the maids and I sure almost died to her lethal cuteness. The boy didn't follow the conversation too well. Spectating our fight was thrilling to him, though. He shouted, "Sister Lian, are you fighting Shifu?"

Bai Lian, face red, said, "Lord Zi, you should stay quiet. Once I arrest this criminal, I shall explain it to you."

'Hey! They kid treats you as a woman! I thought his Sister Lian was Lian as in 'lotus' Lian. You were the Sister Lian he was talking about?! You're not being fair! Why am I the only one you're hacking!'

"This isn't fair!" I exclaimed, dodging multiple slashes. "Sister Lian, how come he can treat you as a girl, yet I can't?!"

"You!" Bai Lian blushed: "Don't you call me that!"

General Manager Bai started swinging more rapidly. General Manager Bai was a skilful martial artist. I couldn't just keep evading for eternity. So accordingly, I stepped forward with a big stride and ran behind the boy. I picked him up to use as a shield. General Manager Bai immediately stopped when she turned around and intended to advance. She hid the blade behind her and yelled, "Ming Feizhen, what are you doing?! Do you realise who h-"

Hell as if I knew who he was. However, the boy sent Bai Lian an eye signal. She groaned and immediately stopped hassling me.

"What were you trying to say? Who is he?"

I looked down at the light kid. He looked up naively and met my gaze. He smiled brightly: "Me? I'm Zizi. Just call me Zizi, Shifu."

"…"

'So he's called Lord Zi, since his name is Zizi? Geez, talk about mindless naming.'

"I'm not your shifu. Asking someone to be your shifu is a very serious matter in the martial world. Nobody does it so casually," I explained. I put the kid back down and grumbled, "You even ruined my bag of soy bean milk."

The kid grabbed his head: "Ah! I didn't do it on purpose! I was just testing your skills, Shifu!"

'Yeah, whatever, kiddo. Those street performers would whoop your behind effortlessly. Testing my skills my foot.'

Bai Lian immediately said to the kid, "Lord Zi, do not go near him. He is a beast who does not discriminate between men and women. Never go near him."

Zizi responded: "Sister Lian, he is very skilled!"

Bai Lian shot me a frown. I shrugged to imply: "You believe what kids say?"

General Manager Bai calmly said, "Lord Zi, it is time for you to begin your studies. Baimei, Wanzi, send Lord Zi back."

Zizi protested: "Eh?! Already? Shifu! Shifu! Remember to visit me!"

The two maids dragged Zizi off. Once they were out of sight, Bai Lian wore on a straight face again: "Ming Feizhen, what are you trying to get close to Lord Zi for?"

"Didn't I tell you already? I got lost. What? I can't get lost now or something? What are you here for, then, raising a child for the imperial family or some minister?"

"I don't have as much free time as you," coldly responded General Manager Bai. "Outside this place is the storage room. I'm going through items in the cold palace. Some antique items have gone missing from the palace recently; I'm investigating the case. I just happened to run into Lord Zi by coincidence."

Realising she divulged too much or something, General Manager Bai fumed, "What are you in the imperial palace for? You don't have a patrol shift Liu Shan Men anymore?"

"Of course not. The imperial palace has enough hands; what would we be on patrol for? I came here to…"

'Hang on.'

"Oh, fuck!! His Majesty is still waiting for me!!"

Thus, I ran full pelt to Wuying Hall. Watching me take off, General Manager thought, "Retard."

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